The Amish Quiltmaker's Unexpected Baby

by Jennifer Beckstrand

  She drew her brows together. “Would garden gloves work?”

  “Good enough.”

  Once again she marched down the hall and returned a few minutes later, this time wearing the glasses and a bright pink pair of garden gloves.

  “You should put on your shoes,” he said.

  “What?”

  “If the utility knife slips while you’re cutting linoleum, you could cut your toe off.”

  She gave him a crooked grin. “So I am possibly going to lose my fingers and my toes pulling out the linoleum?”

  “Jah,” he said. Hopefully the thought of losing her limbs would make her less eager to help with the bathroom remodel.

  Esther thought about that for a minute. “I need some steel-toed boots.”

  “It’s going to be wonderful hard for you to do this. Let me do it after Winnie wakes up.”

  She shook her head adamantly. “You’re doing me a huge favor. And you can’t be here all day just because Winnie won’t sleep like a normal baby. I’m going to help, and if I lose a toe, it would just make me a more interesting person. Everybody would want to meet the woman who cut off her own toe.”

  It would also be a gute thing to add to his list of reasons he wasn’t interested. Who wanted a fraa with only nine toes?

  “Okay. It’s your foot. I guess you can do what you want. When’s the last time you had a tetanus shot?”

  “I can’t remember, but we’ll cross that bridge if we come to it. I’ll go get some shoes.” She strolled down the hall in her glasses and gardening gloves. She’d have to take the gloves off to put on her shoes. Levi chuckled to himself. By the time she was ready to pull linoleum, for sure and certain, Winnie would be awake. Then Levi could take over.

  Esther would be finished before she ever began.

  Chapter Four

  It was wonderful hard to quilt with three bandaged fingers and a sore elbow, but Esther was determined to keep up with the other four women in the room. They were all at least thirty years older than she was, and maybe she felt like she had something to prove. Maybe it was her pride, but she wanted to convince them and herself that even though she was completely inept at caring for a baby, she was a gute quilter.

  “Oh dear, Esther,” Allison said. “What happened to your fingers? Did you cut yourself?”

  “I cut myself on Sunday,” Cathy Larsen said, holding up her left thumb with a bright pink Band-Aid on it. “My grandson sold me one of those really sharp and expensive knives, and I sliced right through my thumbnail.”

  Esther glanced at Nanna, Levi’s mammi. Levi had said Nanna would be annoyed if she found out Esther was remodeling her own bathroom while Levi held the baby. “I cut myself doing some work around the house.”

  “I injure myself with the vegetable peeler at least once a week,” Cathy said.

  Rita Alvarez looked up from the quilt and pinned Cathy with an exasperated look. “Maybe you should stop peeling your vegetables.”

  Esther smiled, but she had her face turned down to the quilt, so Cathy didn’t see it. Esther had known Cathy all of fifteen minutes, and she’d already heard about Cathy’s gall bladder surgery, a hangnail she’d had ripped out by the doctor, and her precancerous moles that the dermatologist was keeping an eye on. Cathy was obviously not shy about sharing all of her business with strangers.

  Of course, maybe Cathy wasn’t in the habit of sharing with strangers. Maybe she already considered Esther a friend. Warmth spread up Esther’s arms. What a nice thought. Cathy had already made Esther a part of her circle of friends. Esther didn’t mind hearing about Cathy’s colonoscopy.

  Allison threaded a needle. “Esther, if it hurts too much to quilt, we don’t mind if you just watch and visit. We don’t want any blood on the fabric.”

  Where Cathy seemed ready to accept Esther into their group, Allison was more tentative. Esther tried not to feel bad that Allison was less than eager to let her quilt. Allison wasn’t completely convinced Esther belonged in the quilting group, and she was just being protective of her quilt. She’d made a stunning quilt top, king size, and for sure and certain, she didn’t want an amateur ruining it. The quilt truly was one of the most breathtaking tops Esther had ever seen. It was a Lone Star quilt pattern in browns and yellows and dusky oranges, and the star looked as if it moved toward you if you stared at it long enough. No wonder Allison didn’t want just anybody working on it.

  The five of them sat around Allison’s quilt, and the frames took up one entire room in Allison’s basement. Before Esther had moved to Colorado, Nanna had invited her to join the quilters group after she got settled into her new house. Of course, Esther would never be settled in now that she had Winnie, but her fingers ached to quilt, and her heart longed to talk quilting with women who really knew what they were doing. Levi’s mamm, Hannah, bless her, had offered to take Winnie for a couple of hours so Esther could finally meet with Nanna’s quilting group. Levi had picked her and Winnie up, dropped Esther off at Allison’s, and taken Winnie to Hannah’s house.

  Esther’s heart danced an uneven rhythm when she thought of Levi. Ach. She really liked him, and that thought made her want to go outside and beat a rug against the house. Liking a boy had only gotten her into trouble. She certainly didn’t want to feel that pain ever again. Levi was handsome and kind and so patient with Winnie, but he was also a male and six years younger than she was. It would never work out. Aside from the fact that Esther didn’t trust men in general, Levi was young. Why would he ever be interested in an old maid?

  “Allison, are you sure you want a stitch in the ditch?” Cathy said. “Stitching on top would be so charming.”

  Allison nodded. “I’m sure. It’s already busy enough.”

  “It’s not busy,” Nanna said. “It’s wunderbarr. The colors are so bright.”

  “I used vintage fabric. The woman I’m making the quilt for had drawers and drawers of old fabric from her mother. It’s an heirloom piece as much as it is a quilt.”

  Esther couldn’t have been more delighted to be included in Nanna’s quilting group. Where else would she find women who got excited about vintage fabric and keepsake quilts? It was like no quilting group Esther had ever seen before. Amish women got together all the time for quilting frolics, but Nanna’s quilting group was serious business. Allison was Nanna’s blog partner. Cathy looked to be in her eighties, but Esther had been able to tell right off that she was as comfortable with a needle as she was with her own fingers. Rita was a cute little Hispanic woman who talked to herself in Spanish when she quilted. Nanna and Esther were the only Amish in the group.

  Each of the women had a quilting blog. Rita had a website where she sold quilt patterns and did quilting tutorials in both Spanish and English. She also owned a quilting machine for quilts she didn’t want to quilt by hand, and according to Nanna, she’d built quite a business doing machine quilting for other people. Cathy taught quilting classes at the library and gave lectures on the history of quilting all over the state. All the women sold their quilts for outrageous prices. Nanna said when you called it “folk art,” you could charge three or four hundred dollars extra.

  Sometimes the quilters met at Allison’s, sometimes at Nanna’s. Theirs were the only two places with rooms big enough to accommodate a king-size quilt on frames.

  Esther cleared her throat and tried to sound more confident than she felt. “Lord willing, no one will bleed on your beautiful quilt, Allison. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  The praise seemed to allay Allison’s fears. She smiled and tucked some imaginary hair behind her ear. “It’s for their cabin in Aspen. I think they’re going to be pleased.”

  Nanna poked her needle into the fabric. “Don’t worry about Esther,” she said. “She’s a better quilter than I am.”

  Esther felt her face get warm. How sweet of Nanna to say such a thing, considering that one of Nanna’s quilts hung in a museum in Ohio. “That’s not true. I’m the least successful quilter here.” She looked ar
ound the room. “But my stitches won’t embarrass any of your quilts, even with three bandaged fingers.”

  “I once stitched and bound a quilt with a double hernia,” Cathy said.

  Esther almost asked if the quilt or Cathy had a double hernia but decided she was too young and too new to be making jokes yet.

  “We’re glad you’re here,” Nanna said.

  So was Esther. It was the first time she’d left the house in two weeks except to go to the market to pick up things so she and Winnie wouldn’t starve. And Winnie always had to have diapers. The cost of diapers alone might break Esther’s bank account before Winnie was potty trained.

  Was a baby this hard for everyone?

  Esther truly didn’t mind caring for Winnie, but she hated not being gute at something. And she was definitely not gute at babies. Levi was much better. Still, she was trying hard, and Winnie was so adorable when she wasn’t crying. Esther was actually starting to enjoy their time together. Winnie’s toothless smile never failed to melt Esther’s heart. Winnie loved books, and Levi had given them three picture books that Esther read to Winnie often. Levi brought a gift for Winnie every time he came, but they were usually really gifts for Esther to make taking care of Winnie easier.

  Esther willed her heart to slow to a normal pace. She needed to stop thinking about Levi Kiem. He’d been wonderful kind, but he was just helping her remodel her bathroom.

  Esther stifled a smile so no one would ask what she was thinking about. She was the one who was remodeling the bathroom. Levi sat on a chair in the hall and held Winnie while he gave her directions. She’d scraped her arm on a jagged edge of linoleum and cut her finger with the utility knife, but considering the effort it took to tear out the linoleum, her injuries were minor.

  After she’d torn up what she could of the linoleum, Levi had come back the next day, taken out the toilet, and fed Winnie while Esther had cleared the area under the toilet. A good portion of the particleboard on the subfloor was warped with water damage. A week ago, Esther didn’t even know what particleboard and subfloors were. She was getting smarter by the day. Next week, Levi was bringing his circular saw, and while he hadn’t promised she could use it, she was certain she could talk him into it.

  They made a gute team. Winnie never cried when Levi held her, and her favorite place to sleep was in his arms. Esther liked working on the bathroom, and she really liked that concerned look Levi got on his face when he gave her instructions for her next task. He obviously feared she was going to hurt herself with one of his tools. It was sweet that he was concerned for her safety, but she was gute with her hands, and she liked learning new skills. Amish spinsters who lived alone and wanted to be independent should learn everything they could so they didn’t have to rely on the kindness of handsome strangers with attractive smiles, because those handsome strangers would for sure and certain move on when they met someone younger and prettier and more interesting.

  It was just the way men were, especially handsome men.

  Rita cut her thread and smoothed her hand over her finished stitches. “Nanna tells us you’re taking care of your sister’s baby, Esther. How is that going?”

  “Nanna’s been a big help,” Esther said. “She and Hannah and Mary Jane have been to my house four or five times in the last three weeks.”

  Nanna waved away any praise. “We just come to visit. She’s doing an excellent job. It isn’t easy taking care of a baby.”

  “My three babies had colic,” Cathy said. “They screamed for three months straight.”

  “At the same time?” Rita said, with just a hint of tease in her voice.

  “No. But it wouldn’t have surprised me.”

  Allison cut a length of thread. “Nanna says your sister abandoned the baby.”

  Nanna’s gaze flicked in Esther’s direction. “I hope you don’t mind that I told. These women are like my family. I don’t keep secrets from family, and I certainly don’t keep anything from my quilting group.”

  Rita nodded. “Quilting friends are the dearest kind because we bind our hearts together with real thread.”

  Esther gave them a genuine smile. “I don’t mind. In my experience, quilters are the most loyal, trustworthy group of women in the world.”

  Cathy pointed her needle at Esther. “But we don’t gossip.” She poked her needle into the fabric. “Unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

  Nanna laughed. “Gossip is using words to hurt somebody. We don’t gossip. We share.”

  Allison brushed a piece of thread from the quilt top. “Nanna shared with us that your sister brought the baby to your house and then disappeared.”

  “We think the baby has suffered some neglect,” Nanna said. “She’s a skinny little thing.”

  “What’s her name?”

  Esther would always dread that question. “My sister named her Winter, but Levi thought of Winnie, which I think is much better.”

  Rita raised her eyebrows. “Levi is very clever. How old is the baby?”

  “Five months, I think,” Esther said. Almost a month had passed since she’d gotten Winnie, and Ivy had told Esther that Winnie was four months old. Of course, Ivy was so flighty, she might not have remembered exactly when Winnie was born.

  Rita gave Esther a motherly smile. “You could start her on solid foods. That will help her gain weight.”

  Solid foods?

  “The doctor said rice cereal first, but I wouldn’t bother,” Cathy said. “Rice causes colic. Start with the fruit.”

  Rita frowned. “That’s not true, Cathy. I’d start with green beans. If you can get them used to green beans, they’ll eat anything.”

  Esther felt her face get warm. “I haven’t even thought about solid foods.” All of a sudden, her eyes stung with tears. She didn’t know why the very mention of solid foods had her so upset—probably because she had so much to learn and had no idea what she didn’t know. What if something she did made Winnie sick? What if something she didn’t do stunted Winnie’s growth? She hated being so ignorant.

  Nanna reached over and patted Esther’s hand. “No need to panic. Hannah and I will come over next week and help you get started.”

  “Okay,” Esther said, doing her best to keep her voice from shaking. She was not a crier. She was not weak. Maybe the strain of having sole responsibility for another human being was wearing on her.

  “And you know Levi will do anything he can for you,” Nanna said. “He’s wonderful gute with babies, and he doesn’t mind helping.”

  Esther took a deep breath. Nanna and Hannah and Mary Jane were mere minutes away by buggy, and Levi came over more than any of the others. Levi would be there.

  “It was a horrible thing for your sister to do,” Cathy said.

  Now this was safer ground. Esther shoved down her misgivings and reminded herself how angry she was with her sister. Anger was so much safer than sadness. Sadness made her vulnerable, and she couldn’t afford such an unpleasant emotion.

  “Now, Cathy,” Rita scolded. “That’s gossip.”

  Cathy puckered her lips. “I can’t see that it is.”

  “I’m with Cathy on this one,” Nanna said, scooting her chair a fraction of an inch closer to Esther’s. “It was a horrible thing to do to Esther, not to mention that poor little baby, and if her sister were here, I’d tell her that to her face.”

  Rita sighed. “Oh, very well. I agree with Cathy. It was a very mean thing your sister did to you.” She leaned toward Esther and whispered, “I suppose I can just spend two extra minutes in confession this week.”

  Esther felt the tears pooling again. She quickly blinked them away. It felt so gute to have someone on her side. On nights when Winnie didn’t sleep, she felt so guilty for resenting the baby. Ivy didn’t deserve much consideration, but Winnie was innocent and helpless. She’d done nothing to deserve such a hopeless aunt. And yet Esther resented her just the same. Resented that she had no time to finish her latest quilt. Resented that she couldn’t curl up and read
Jane Austen every night. Resented that she didn’t even have time to shower most days. Resented that she hadn’t had a gute night’s sleep in three weeks.

  “It’s been hard,” was all she could muster.

  “Of course it’s been hard,” Rita said. “Having your own baby is hard enough, and you get nine months to prepare for it.”

  “My first pregnancy lasted ten months,” Cathy added.

  Esther slumped her shoulders. “I’m just not gute with babies.”

  Allison tapped her thimble on the quilt frame. “I’m not good with babies either, but I still had seven of my own. I don’t know what I was thinking except I sure had a lot of fun with them when they got older. My husband loves babies. He is more of a natural than I am. He changed a lot of diapers in those early years.”

  Allison’s husband was probably a lot like Levi. Levi seemed to instinctively know what Winnie needed and how to get it for her. And he didn’t seem to mind just sitting and holding the baby. He actually enjoyed it. He’d probably gladly let Esther finish the entire bathroom if he wasn’t so concerned for her safety. Esther’s heart did that skipping thing again. Levi would make a wonderful gute fater and husband—for whatever girl he married.

  Cathy pinned Esther with a serious gaze. “Don’t be hard on yourself. Ever. That’s how people get ulcers. You just do your best, and God will look after the rest.”

  “Always good advice,” Nanna said.

  Easier said than done.

  Cathy leaned back in her chair. “What you need is to get out of the house more. What do you know about pickleball, Esther?”

  Esther raised her brows. “Nothing.”

  Rita nodded so hard she fanned up a breeze. “That’s an excellent idea, Cathy. And she could bring the baby.”

  “Where am I taking the baby?”

  Cathy got so excited, she stood up. “Pickleball is a game you play with a paddle and a whiffle ball. It’s a cross between tennis and Ping-Pong.”

  “Oh,” Esther said. “I don’t know if I could do that.”