There was a long pause on the other end, so long that Esther began to wonder if Cathy had fallen asleep. When she spoke, her voice was so soft Esther could barely hear her. “Is she there next to you?”
“Yes.”
Another long, inexplicable pause. “For crying out loud. Tell her I’ll be over in ten minutes. Wait, Esther?”
“What?”
“Better make it twenty. Don’t know how long it will be to rally the troops.”
“Um. I’m not sure what you mean, but Ivy can go another day if it’s not convenient for you.”
Cathy grunted. “Just tell her to be ready for a lecture. And if she gives me any guff, I’ll make her walk home. That’ll teach her.” The call disconnected.
“What did she say?” Ivy asked.
“I think she thought it was rude to ask.”
Ivy blew a puff of air from between her lips. “I don’t care what she thinks. Is she coming?”
“In twenty minutes.” If Ivy didn’t care what Cathy thought, then Esther wasn’t going to warn Ivy. Cathy could talk your ear off, and that was if she liked you okay. By the time Cathy got through with Ivy, Ivy would refuse to go anywhere with Cathy ever again. Ivy might be able to push Esther around, but Cathy would not be pushed.
Esther hesitated. She used to be someone Ivy couldn’t push around. But Winnie had changed everything. Esther would do anything to keep hold of Winnie.
“I need you to babysit Winnie,” Ivy said, almost as an afterthought. “It’s a pain to take a baby shopping.”
Of course it went without saying that Esther was the one to take care of Winnie, but asking Esther to babysit was Ivy’s way of reminding Esther that Ivy was still in charge. And she didn’t really ever ask. It was “Esther, make sure Winnie gets her bath,” or “Esther, please feed Winnie. I’m going out to work on my tan.”
Esther didn’t mind caring for Winnie. She loved taking care of Winnie. It was what she’d been doing for six months. Ivy had a way of making her begrudge it, just the same.
Esther went back into the front room and set Winnie on the rug while she took a few stitches on her quilt. It was a single piece of black fabric that the client wanted quilted with six different colors of thick thread. It was dark and brooding and depressing, much like Esther’s life. Why would anyone want a black quilt?
The pattern on the quilt was a dragon, with green eyes and blue scales. The scales were exactly the color of Levi’s eyes. Esther held her breath. Maybe she should work on the purple feet. Purple did not remind her of Levi, except for maybe the purple flower he had tucked behind her ear at the park a few weeks ago. Esther looked at her selection of thick, shiny thread. It wouldn’t matter what color she chose to work with—everything reminded her of Levi. Everything reminded her of what she had traded for Winnie.
Every time she went in the backyard, she thought of the day she’d thrown apricots at the house and Levi had laughed at her. She couldn’t play pickleball again without remembering how he’d caught her pounding one of her paddles against an evergreen bush. She most certainly couldn’t set foot in the new bathroom, because his hand was there everywhere. To help keep the pain manageable, she hadn’t set foot in that bathroom since he’d finished it. Esther didn’t know how to get Levi out of her heart, let alone her thoughts. Was she doomed to mourn him for the rest of her life?
Ivy went into her room and came out stuffing a wad of cash into her pocket. Esther bit her bottom lip. Her money, money that Ivy would use to take Winnie away. Esther wanted to growl. Instead, she took a stitch in the quilt and yanked the needle upward, jerking the thread up with it. Maybe this was why she had chosen to be a quilter. It was easy and harmless and productive to take your anger out on a piece of fabric. As long as her stitches were small, the quilt didn’t care how angry she was when she put them in.
Ivy stood in the hall and watched Esther quilt. Didn’t she have anything better to do, like wash dishes or wipe the table? “Do you remember when you helped me make a quilt for my bed?” Ivy said.
Esther remembered, but why Ivy wanted to talk about it was beyond her. “Yes. It was wonderful pretty.”
“Only because you unpicked almost every stitch I made.”
“It was your first time sewing. I wanted to help.”
Ivy stepped into the room and ran her hand along the fabric. “I was never a good quilter.”
“Of course you were. It just didn’t hold your interest. You liked the outdoor chores better.”
Ivy grinned. “I spent a lot of time in the haymow playing with the dog or daydreaming.”
Esther pulled her thread through the fabric. “You liked to play imaginary games.”
“I liked to escape.” She sat down on the folding chair opposite Esther. Esther always kept two folding chairs near the quilt so Nanna could take a stitch or two when she came to visit and so Esther wouldn’t have to keep moving the same chair around and around the quilt when she sewed. “Thank you for helping me make that quilt for my bed,” Ivy said.
Esther hid her surprise as she glanced at Ivy. Ivy never said thank you. “I thought the colors you picked were so pretty.”
“Mamm didn’t like them.”
“She didn’t think pink and lime green would look good together, but they were beautiful.”
Ivy gazed at Esther, her eyes full of an emotion Esther couldn’t begin to guess at. “I loved that quilt.”
Esther nodded. She and Ivy had made the quilt together when Esther was fourteen and Ivy was ten. Aside from her shoes and underwear and one dress, the quilt was the only thing Ivy had taken with her when she left home. “Whatever happened to that quilt?”
“Lost.”
That one word was so full of sadness that Esther glanced up from her quilting and studied Ivy’s face. What she saw made her want to weep.
Ivy flinched when they heard the car honk. She jumped to her feet as if trying to escape her past. “Be sure to give Winter her nap.”
That kind of unnecessary instruction usually made Esther bristle, but maybe it was something about Ivy’s tone of voice or the pain in her eyes that made it impossible for Esther to muster any righteous indignation today. All she felt was pity for her sister, herself, and what might have been. Ivy left without ceremony, and after a few seconds, Esther heard the car drive away.
She stuck her head under the quilt and looked at Winnie. “Should we put you down for a nap, sweetie?”
Winnie was chewing on a measuring spoon. She gurgled at Esther and rubbed her eyes.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” She crawled under the quilt, scooped Winnie up in one arm, and crawled back out. “Oh, my baby,” she cooed. “Don’t listen to a thing your mamm says about California. She’s only saying that to get under my skin. You don’t need to worry about it for one minute.” Esther didn’t want to lie, but she also didn’t want Winnie to be anxious about it. There was nothing either of them could make better by worrying.
A firm and determined knock sounded at the door. For a split second, Esther thought it might be Levi. Had he waited until Ivy was away to come and see her? Nae, he wouldn’t be that reckless. If Ivy ever found out, she’d take Winnie away for sure and certain. Levi knew enough to keep his distance.
Esther opened the door. Nanna, Mary Jane, Allison, and Rita pushed their way into her house as if they were invading. It was a sort of invasion, because they all talked at once, loudly, and didn’t even wait to be invited in. Nanna herded the rest of the women into the house, hung her bag of fabric scraps on the hook by the door, and gave Esther the stink eye. Esther withered under her gaze. She had no energy or heart to stand up to Nanna.
“What’s this?” Nanna said.
Esther’s gaze flicked from face to face. “What’s what?”
Nanna threw up her hands and marched into the kitchen. Esther and the rest of the women followed her. “You’ve got a quilt on the frame, dirty dishes in the sink, and a sister who uses one of my best friends as a chauffeur. What is this?”
Rita pulled out a chair at the table and motioned for Esther to sit. “We’re here to help you.”
“And to gossip,” said Allison. “I’m here for the gossip, and Cathy is wildly jealous she won’t get to hear it firsthand.”
Esther sat down and pulled Winnie closer. “What . . . what do you want to gossip about?”
Mary Jane held out her hands. “Is it naptime? I can take Winnie.”
Esther handed Winnie to Mary Jane. “Yes. Thank you.”
Nanna nodded. “Jah. You need your hands free to explain yourself.”
Esther nearly called Mary Jane back. Winnie made a gute shield, and the others wouldn’t dare gossip in Winnie’s presence. “There’s nothing to explain.”
Nanna huffed out a breath, pulled a chair from the table, and sat down across from Esther. The other two sat down on either side of Nanna. Nanna peered at each of them in turn. “Now it feels like a meeting.”
Allison nodded enthusiastically. “It’s an intervention.”
“I don’t know what that means,” Esther said.
Allison pulled a package of orange candies from her purse and handed one to each of them. Allison thought candy made everything better. “It means we’re going to have a talk.”
Nanna grunted. “It means we’re going to scold you soundly.”
Allison’s smile froze in place. “We’re going to have a talk, and you’re going to listen and try to apply it to your life.”
Esther wilted like a daisy in the hot sun. There were so many things Nanna could scold her about, she didn’t even know which one Nanna would choose. All she knew was that she’d been beaten down and wrung out enough for three lifetimes, and she couldn’t bear Nanna’s displeasure. “Please, Nanna. Don’t scold me.”
Rita gave Esther’s hand a motherly pat. “Why don’t you start from the beginning.”
Esther slumped her shoulders. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called Cathy to drive Ivy to Walmart.” Maybe it was the way Nanna looked at her from across the table. Maybe it was the quilt that needed to be finished by Wednesday. Maybe it was the thought of Ivy spending her money on a pair of high heels at Walmart. But the weight of the past week finally became too heavy to bear. She stood up, found the nearest piece of peeling wallpaper and ripped it off the wall. A strip the length of her arm came off when she yanked. It felt so gute, she located another peeling piece and yanked at it. This piece came off more as a chunk. It looked like Ivy’s profile in silhouette. She crinkled it into a ball and threw it as hard as she could down the hall.
Rita’s mouth fell open. “You . . . uh . . . you have a good throwing arm.”
Allison looked completely horrified. Nanna laughed. “The Yoders were not gute wallpaperers. They used the wrong kind of glue. It started pulling away from the wall two weeks after they finished. Edna was wonderful annoyed.”
Esther sighed. “I’m wonderful annoyed. I let Ivy talk me into calling Cathy. It was rude, and I apologize.”
Nanna stood and pulled Esther back to her chair. “Esther, my dear, we’re all very glad you called Cathy. I wasn’t sure how to get Ivy out of the house. I’ve been itching to talk to you for three days. If Ivy is too speedy at Walmart, Cathy has plans to take her to the sand dunes, just to kill some time. If she gets desperate, she’s assured me she’ll get stuck in the sand. A tow truck could take hours.”
Esther eyed Nanna in puzzlement. “You’re not mad I called Cathy?”
“We’re beyond grateful,” Rita said. “We’ve been worried sick.”
Mary Jane shut Winnie’s door, pulled in a folding chair from the front room, and sat next to Esther. She glanced at the wall with its missing strip of wallpaper. “Planning on redecorating?”
“Cheery yellow paint would look nice in here,” Allison said.
Nanna shook her head. “It would look too much like urine.” She scooted her chair closer to the table. “As devious as Cathy is, we don’t have all day.” She pinned Esther with a solemn and serious look. “I love my grandson, but if he has ruined his chances with you, I think I’d just as soon that he stayed in Ohio for the rest of his life.”
Esther’s heart suddenly felt like a thousand pounds of longing. “He’s . . . he went to Ohio?”
Nanna nodded. “Three days ago and as gloomy as a minister at a dance party. He told me he ruined everything, that you would never speak to him again, that you would probably never be able to forgive him.” She leaned forward to look Esther directly in the eye. “So what has he done, and how can he fix it?”
Esther’s throat felt tight. “Is he looking for a fraa in Ohio?”
Nanna seemed to explode with displeasure. “Of course he’s not looking for a fraa. He went to nurse his wounds.”
Esther’s face got warm. Nurse his wounds? What wounds did Levi have? Had she given them to him? Did he . . . ? Could he care for her? “Ach. I didn’t know.”
“You seemed to be getting along so well,” said Rita. “So we want to know what happened, if you feel comfortable telling us.” Rita was so kind, never wanting to upset anyone or make a fuss.
Nanna wasn’t so diplomatic. Esther loved her for it, even though sometimes it made her uncomfortable. “Did you run him off because you think he’s in love with your sister? Because I can tell you right now, he ain’t.” She glared at Esther as if everything was her doing. “He’s in love with you.”
Esther’s heart pattered like a barrage of apricots against the window. “He’s in love with me?”
Rita nodded. “We’ve all seen it.”
It was everything Esther had wished for, longed for, thought about for months. “But, Nanna, I’m thirty years old. I’ve got a horrible temper, and I hardly know how to take care of a baby.”
Nanna raised an eyebrow in exasperation. “Apparently, Levi likes all of those qualities.”
“There’s just so much about you to love,” Rita said. “You’re kind and conscientious, talented and enthusiastic.”
Mary Jane put her arm around Esther. “You play pickleball better than anyone but Cathy, and Winnie loves you beyond anything. Levi loves you something wonderful.”
Words and feelings leaped from Esther’s mouth like shooting stars. “And I . . . I love him!”
Rita and Mary Jane beamed like headlights. “Isn’t love the best feeling in the world?” Mary Jane said.
Nanna most certainly wasn’t done with her lecture. “So why are you tearing wallpaper off the wall while Levi sits in Ohio being miserable?”
Esther took a deep shuddering breath. “It doesn’t matter if I love him or he loves me. It just doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters.” There was that scolding tone Nanna often used on Levi.
Esther pressed her fingers to her forehead. “Levi came over last week to convince Ivy to let me adopt Winnie. We had the papers ready and everything.” She glanced at Nanna in embarrassment. “Levi had been so kind to Ivy. I thought he was going to ask her to marry him.”
“I told you that is a bunch of hogwash,” Nanna said.
“It wasn’t just me. Ivy thought Levi was going to propose. I made breakfast casserole.”
“Ivy is a ninny.”
Esther agreed with Allison, but what good did it do, even if the whole world thought Ivy was a ninny? “Ivy was furious when Levi pulled out those adoption papers. She said we tricked her. She said we were only being nice to her so she would let me adopt Winnie. She called Levi a liar and a hypocrite.” Esther couldn’t stop her voice from shaking. “She said if I ever talked to Levi again, she’d take Winnie away from me.”
The room fell silent as her dumbfounded companions stared at her.
“I was only going to scold you for letting Levi get away,” Nanna said. “But this story is more like a seven-layer dip. Ivy won’t let you adopt, you don’t want t
o lose Winnie, and Levi thinks you’re mad at him.”
“I’m not mad at him. He thought he and Ivy were friendly enough that she would agree to sign those papers. I think he wanted to surprise me. How could he have known how Ivy would react? He shouldn’t have done it without asking me, but how can I fault him for his good heart?”
Nanna fingered the wisps of hair at her neck. “So you’ve given up Levi to keep Ivy happy.”
“I don’t know,” Esther said, the words escaping her lips like a sob. “I don’t want to lose Levi. I can’t bear to lose Winnie. Why do I have to pick?”
“You shouldn’t have to.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t. My life is near unbearable, Nanna. All I know is that I love Winnie with my whole soul. If Ivy took her away, I would stumble around like a drunken man for the rest of my life.”
Allison narrowed her eyes. “So Ivy’s holding both you and Winnie hostage.”
Esther pressed her lips together. “She’s threatened to take Winnie away unless I do what she wants.” She laughed bitterly. “This morning I made crepes because she said she’d take Winnie to California if I didn’t. California! For crepes. She stole the four hundred dollars I keep underneath my dresser so that she has money in case she wants to leave with Winnie. And my cell phone. She says it’s hers now.”
Allison offered Esther another piece of orange candy. “That girl is a pill and a half.”
Nanna leaned on her elbow, her index finger pressed to her temple. “So your love for Winnie has made you docile, afraid to sneeze in the wrong direction for fear of Ivy.”
“For fear I’ll lose Winnie.”
“Same thing.” Nanna turned to her granddaughter. “Mary Jane, will you make us all some coffee?”
“Of course, Mammi.”
Nanna closed her eyes as if shutting out something very painful. When she opened them again, the compassion Esther saw there tugged at her heart like a kite in a windstorm. “Esther,” she said. “You do not want to hear this, and I don’t want to say it. Ivy may be bluffing. She may not. She may very well take Winnie away from you if she’s mad enough.” She reached across the table and grabbed Esther’s arm. “This is the part you don’t want to hear. No matter how painful it will be, it is better to lose Winnie than to lose yourself.”
The Amish Quiltmaker's Unexpected Baby Page 25