by Joyce Alec
“Lord Henry,” I began finally. It took me several minutes to build up the courage to even open my mouth. Now that I had begun, though, I did not think I would be able to stop. “Did you attend the masquerade ball a fortnight ago?”
Henry’s face brightened, and he turned his dazzling gaze upon me. It chilled me all the way to the bone and warmed my heart all at the same time.
“I was, indeed,” he replied smoothly. “I was there the entire evening.” He laughed warmly. “It certainly helped that it was taking place at my father’s estate.”
We laughed together easily. My heart beat faster.
“It was an absolutely magical evening,” I said, swirling my soup with my spoon. It was wonderfully flavored, but my stomach churned inside of me. If I put another spoonful in my mouth, I would have to retire to my room for the rest of the evening. “My sister and I enjoyed it immensely.”
“I am very glad to hear it,” he said.
All the other conversations from the dining table slowed and faded away. I could feel all their eyes on Lord Henry and me, listening closely to our words.
“Did you enjoy the music?” he asked.
“Enchanting,” I answered truthfully. “I spent most of the night dancing to it.”
I watched his face closely for any flicker of recognition. I hoped that my words might have been enough of a clue for him.
But he simply smiled at me in reply. Still he did not know that it was me.
“Well, that is nice to hear. That is what balls are for, after all!”
Lord Townshend watched his brother very carefully. As twins, I was certain that they must be very close. Perhaps even able to communicate without words. I could not read his face, but his gaze was intense as he glanced between the two of us.
“I, too, spent most of the evening dancing,” Lord Henry went on. “I truly enjoyed the mystery of not knowing my dance partner.”
Was there another meaning to his words? I looked for clues, but still, he was not offering any clue as to whether or not he remembered me.
“Perhaps we danced together and did not even realize it!” Lord Henry exclaimed. “That is quite possible, is it not?”
I stared at him, trying to keep my mouth closed. Was that his way of letting me know that it was him? Was he attempting to communicate it to me without the others noticing?
Sarah was not even trying to participate in other conversations at this point. She was staring at me as intently, as was Lord Townshend.
“I do love masquerade balls,” I said, attempting to navigate the matter as carefully as I could. “It made the whole night incredibly exciting. But how could someone ever find the people they had danced with again, since everyone wore a mask?”
Henry responded. “It adds to the mystery of it all, does it not?”
His vagueness was infuriating. Did he understand what I was trying to imply? If he did, then he should have made it clear that he remembered our dance, and our kiss. In my admiration of him, I had assumed that he was clever, intelligent. Had I misread him entirely? Or had I kissed his twin. My hope that the mysterious man was Lord Henry began to fade.
I had to try again and decided to be brave and ask a very bold question, one that only the man I had danced with would understand.
“Even the exterior of the house was well decorated,” I began, folding my hands on my lap to ensure no one saw them shaking. “The gardens and the fountains were a very welcome place of quiet and peace. And the terrace…” I sighed, not needing to pretend to be lost in the memory of that night. “I loved how the back terrace was decorated. The candles, the garland, the mistletoe…”
I watched Henry very carefully. If he did not understand this, then he was either dimwitted, or was the wrong brother.
He smiled at me, and shrugged his shoulders. “I did not have the pleasure of seeing the garden after it became dark. I have spent much time on that terrace, but sadly did not see it the night of the ball.”
So that meant…
I looked over at his brother, Lord Townshend, and saw that his eyes were wide, staring at me with renewed interest. His face had paled, and his easy, comfortable demeanor had vanished. He sat straight in his chair, as rigid as a board. Comprehension had dawned on his face.
He finally recognized me, too.
6
We sat there and stared at one another, almost unabashedly so. Lord Henry had returned to his potatoes, and others around the table discussed the outdoor decorations and whether they had seen them as well.
I averted my eyes to my plate, lifting my fork and knife and attempting to pretend to find the vegetables interesting. No one else at the table seemed to think my question or Henry’s remark strange. I was grateful, and yet, suddenly, I felt entirely alone.
This was worse than I thought. Why, oh why, did it have to be Lord Townshend I had kissed?
It was easy to see, now that I knew the truth. Lord Townshend’s smile curved up the right side of his face; his brother’s, the left. Lord Townshend’s hair was slightly shorter than his brother’s. All characteristics seemed obvious now.
I was going to marry the wrong twin. I could not believe it. How could this have happened?
Lord Townshend continued to steal glances of me, and our eyes met on several occasions. I clearly saw the understanding of our circumstances in his eyes. It was an intense gaze. I could tell he had so much to say, as we had much to discuss. It was a fire burning between us, threatening to engulf us both.
What was there to do? What could we do?
I certainly could not sit there quietly and happily. The lies would be plain on my face. I needed some air. I needed a moment to collect my thoughts.
Lord Townshend sipped his wine casually. How was it that he appeared so tranquil through this? How could he so easily engage in a conversation with my father as he did?
Sarah nudged me with her elbow.
I turned my gaze to her.
Her eyes were questioning.
I indicated Lord Townshend with a quick glance.
Her eyes grew wide, and she nervously shook her head.
If only she knew how upsetting the entire situation was to me.
Just as I meant to rise from the table and feign illness, fully knowing it would not truly be feigned, Lord Townshend rose from his chair.
“My deepest apologies,” he said, bowing to my mother and father. “If you will excuse me for a moment…”
He looked at me, very pointedly, before making his way to the door and stepping out.
“Is he quite all right?” Mother asked concernedly.
Lady Walford nodded her head. “Oh, yes. The lad has a sensitive stomach. Walking helps him far more than any sort of medicine.”
“My, that sounds rather troubling,” Mother went on.
“It was difficult when he was young, but he has taken it in stride, learned how to best deal with it,” Lady Walford said. “His brother experiences the same pain.”
Lord Henry looked at me nervously. “Though not nearly as often as I used to,” he added.
I could believe his mother’s anecdote, but doubted she was right in her thinking. He must have been feeling the same pressure that I was and decided to excuse himself.
If I understood him correctly, then he was most likely waiting for me somewhere away from the prying ears of our families.
It was not as if I could use the very same excuse as he did. I would certainly have to come up with another lie and ensure that it was quite believable.
My fingers spun around the stem of my wine glass, the dark red liquid inside swirling.
I stopped.
Mother and Father had resumed their conversation with Lord and Lady Walford. Sarah watched me intently. Henry allowed the servant behind him to pour wine into his goblet.
I seized the opportunity before it disappeared.
I nudged my fingers against the wine glass, tipping it toward me. The glass hit the table with a ringing clang, and the deep red wine spla
shed onto the pristine white table and onto the front of my dress.
It had worked.
Mother gasped in surprise, and Lord Henry and Sarah both jumped to their feet. Sarah meant to avoid the wine dripping from the table, while Lord Henry asked after my safety.
“I am quite embarrassed,” I insisted, attempting to mop up the wine with the napkin in my hands. The red stained the green fabric of my gown, and it was evident to all that I would certainly need to excuse myself to change. “Oh, how clumsy of me,” I woefully sighed.
“No, no, dear, it is quite all right,” Mother said, coming to stand beside me, assessing the damage to my dress.
Servants appeared almost immediately to whisk away the plate and the goblet, and a fresh table cloth was hanging over the arm of a man near the door.
“My dear, go upstairs and change,” Mother offered, giving me the very words that I needed.
I looked over at Lord Henry apologetically. “I must apologize,” I said as regretfully as I could manage.
“Sarah,” Father said, “can you please help your sister?”
“No thank you, Sarah, I shall not require any help. Really. Someone will have to keep Lord Henry entertained for me while I am gone.”
Henry smiled.
“Well, if you are sure…” Mother said.
I stood, and I was glad that I was not also dripping wine all over the floor.
Sarah’s eyes were wide as she watched me step away from the table.
“I will not be long,” I called, and smiled again at Henry.
I tried to walk as calmly as I could out of the dining room.
I found Lord Townshend pacing out in the foyer, his fingers rubbing his chin in frustration.
His face lit up as I made my way over to him, and we quickly crossed the distance to each over.
Without even thinking, without even considering it, we reached out for one another, knitting our hands together. Warmth as I had never known flooded my heart.
“It is you,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. His face split into a wide grin, and his eyes welled with tears. “It really is you.”
I laughed as tears filled my eyes, and nodded.
“I thought I would never see you again,” he went on, tightening his grip on my hands as he pulled me closer to him. “I looked for you, but you had gone.”
“I looked for you, too,” I said, my voice shaking. “Oh, Lord Townshend. That was the happiest night of my life.”
“It was the happiest night of mine,” he affirmed.
We stood there in the dark and quiet, beaming at one another, unable to control our joy. He wiped the tears from my cheeks with his thumb.
“But whatever happened to you?” he asked, looking down at my dress.
I giggled. “I spilled my wine glass as an excuse to leave the table.”
“Clever girl,” he said, deep affection in his words. He sighed heavily. “Oh, Lady Grace… what a predicament we are in.”
My jubilation burst as if it had been punctured.
“What are we to do?” I asked. “I surely do not know.”
Lord Townshend’s jaw clenched as he considered my words. “I do not know, either.”
“Your brother has already agreed to marry me.”
“It was I who was supposed to marry you,” Lord Townshend said. “But when my father approached me with the proposed union, I refused. In my heart, I knew I had to find you, so I could not marry another. If only I had known…”
“And now I cannot end this engagement,” I said, feeling my cheeks growing hot. “But…how could I marry him, when I have found you?”
Lord Townshend laughed, but it was hollow. “I do not know. If it was anyone aside from my brother, I would go straight to your father.”
“You mean you will not do that now?”
“I fear what my mother and father might do.” He looked at me very intently. “I do not believe it would end well for either of us. Lady Grace, my brother would be able to provide a wonderful life for you. Even though I am only minutes older than Henry, it is I who will inherit my father’s title and the majority of his wealth. However, you must know that Henry is to inherit a great sum of money and properties.” He let out a deep breath.
I replied urgently. “It was never about your inheritance. The spark of love has ignited because you allowed me a glimpse of your soul. I do not wish to bring your brother any pain, but I cannot imagine being with anyone but you.” I laughed, more tears splashing onto the front of my dress. “I must sound like a foolish girl…”
He leaned his forehead against mine, steadying me. “Nonsense. I understand what you mean completely. What happened between us…no words can explain it. I have never felt anything like it. Nor do I think I ever will again.”
He pulled away from me, his eyes shining like the sky at midday. “I had never believed in love at first sight until I met you, Lady Grace.”
I was glad that he was holding onto me so tightly; I was sure that my knees would have given way beneath me had he not been.
“Oh, Lord Townshend…” I said.
He pulled me into an embrace. This close to him, I realized he smelled of warm spices and lavender.
“I so wish that this could be easier than what it is…”
“As do I.”
We stood there in silence, neither of us wishing to disrupt the moment we shared. I would have given anything to have been able to stay there, locked in his arms, for the rest of my days.
I had found my masked dancer, the man who had captured my heart so fully, in both my dreams and in reality.
How could we ensure it remained this way?
We jumped apart as the door to the foyer swung inward. Sarah stepped into the room, and stared at the two of us, dumbfounded.
“There you are,” she said. “Mother was beginning to wonder what had happened to you. She insisted that I come find you.” She took a few hesitant steps toward us. “So…is this your mysterious masked dancer?” she asked me.
Lord Townshend laughed. “Is that what you had taken to calling me?”
I blushed scarlet.
He chortled again. “No matter. I thought of you as my disguised damsel.”
I grinned at him, and then turned back to Sarah. “He only realized it as we were sitting at the table tonight.”
“I noticed,” she said. She came to stand beside me, looking between the two of us. “Well, it is obvious that now you will have to tell everyone.”
“What?” I asked, glancing at Lord Townshend. “No, we could not—”
“Why ever not?” Sarah retorted.
“I am betrothed to Lord Henry,” I answered rather dumbly, my cheeks still as red as my dress from the ball.
“Betrothed. Not married,” Sarah went on. She looked up at Lord Townshend. “What do you have to say about all of this?”
“I do not quite know,” he said slowly. “He is my brother. My responsibility is to understand that the proper thing to do would be—”
“To let your brother marry the woman you have fallen in love with?” Sarah finished plainly.
Lord Townshend and I stared at her, open mouthed.
“Think of it this way,” she said. “Could you truly imagine a life where you would have to see each other all the time, but not be married? Family events, dinner parties, balls? Unable to ever do more than converse politely?”
He and I glanced longingly at one another. Sadness filled his eyes as it filled my heart. The idea was torturous.
“Could you truly imagine having to life with the knowledge that you could have been together,” Sarah continued, “been so very happy, if you had only been brave enough to say something to everyone?”
Lord Townshend opened his mouth to reply, and then shut it firmly.
Brave enough? It was more than bravery that was needed. Could Sarah not see that? It could mean disrupting our entire families, possibly causing us both to be scorned at best, disowned at worst. Who knew how Lord Henry would rea
ct, how that would damage his relationship with his twin brother?
“You may not ever have another chance like tonight,” my sister said, a finality to her tone. “And what better night to have your dreams come true than on Christmas Eve?” she grinned at the both of us.
I looked up into the brilliant blue eyes I had fallen in love with behind the mask. My heart constricted in my chest. Sarah was right. I would never be able to live with the knowledge that I could have married the man I had felt so connected to, but let the chance slip away from my hands.
“What…do you think?” Lord Townshend asked me cautiously.
I did not answer for a moment.
“I cannot imagine having to see you all the time, knowing that my brother married you instead of me,” he said quietly. “It would break my heart.”
I stared up into his face. That was all I needed to hear. “And I could never truly love your brother when you were right there beside him. I would look at him every day and all I would be able to see was you, and think of what could have been.”
“That settles it, then!” Sarah cried, joyfully clapping her hands together. “How should we proceed?”
Lord Townshend rubbed the back of his head nervously. “I suppose…I suppose I shall gather both of our parents, and my brother, in the drawing room. Perhaps you should change your dress, darling, as you said you were going to do that. We might as well ensure there is as much truth in our story as possible.”
My heart fluttered happily at the word darling. I beamed up at him.
“I shall help you get changed,” Sarah said. “We will not be but a few minutes.”
Sarah and I rejoined the others in the drawing room a quarter of an hour later. I had changed into the red dress I had worn at the ball. When we stepped into the room, I saw Lord Townshend standing beside the fireplace with a drink in his hands, and everyone else seated on the sofas and settees before him. They looked at me expectantly as Sarah and I walked in.
Lord Townshend’s eyes lit up when he saw the dress I wore. I had hoped, but had never dreamed, that he would see me wearing it again. It seemed fitting, considering what we were about to tell everyone.