by Leanne Banks
For several moments he looked at her hungrily.
“Guess I’ll have to keep trying, Miss Sara.”
Distressed, she lifted a hand. “Please don’t.”
“Why?”
She bit her lip and knitted her fingers together. “We’ve already talked about this.”
Daniel nodded. “I know. First you said I should leave you alone because of Carly. Then you said you didn’t think you were good at male-female relationships.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. “So what is it tonight?”
“You’re not making this easy for me.”
“And you’re not making it easy for me either.”
She refused to let his persistence wear her down. “Daniel, you’re a good man. And I’m not—” she groped for the proper words “—I’m not good for good men. I ruin them.”
He gave a burst of laughter. “You’re nuts,” he said. “You’re sexy as hell. But you’re nuts. You couldn’t ruin a peapod.”
She sucked in a harsh breath. “How about a senator?”
His laughter faltered. “What?”
She shook her head. There were some things she simply couldn’t discuss, even for the sake of Daniel Pendleton. “I don’t want to go into it, so just trust me. Two men, two good men, lost everything because of their relationships with me. I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”
Daniel scratched his head. “Now, let me get this straight. You think you’re responsible for the downfall of these two men.” He waved his hand. “That it’s somehow related to you.”
“Definitely,” Sara said in a solemn voice.
“And,” he continued, “you think that if you get involved with me, you’ll ruin my life.”
Sara nodded.
He rolled his eyes and tugged his tie loose. “I gotta tell you, Sara. That’s the biggest bunch of bull I’ve heard in my life. And with Troy as my brother, I’ve heard a hell of a lot.”
Sara stiffened. “I’m sorry if you don’t believe it, but it’s true.” She turned and headed for the kitchen.
Daniel followed after her. “You really expect me to believe that you lure good men down the road to perdition? How did you do it, Sara? Did you put a magic potion in their hot chocolate? Did you sprinkle fairy dust on them when they slept? How did you do it?”
She gritted her teeth together, took the milk from the refrigerator and poured it into a pan. “It’s a little more basic than that.”
Completely baffled, he shook his head. “Then it must be one of the top three ways to a man’s heart—money, food or—”
Sara whipped around, her eyes shooting off enough sparks to set the kitchen on fire. “Sex.”
Daniel fell silent. He cleared his throat, never easing his gaze from hers. “You want to explain that?”
Sara sent up a silent prayer for deliverance from men with violet eyes, broad shoulders and too many questions. “I thought it was self-explanatory.” The milk began to simmer, and she turned away to reach for the cocoa.
In an instant he was behind her, staying her arm and turning off the burner. “The chocolate can wait. You can’t just say something like that and go on like you’re discussing the weather.”
Oh, Lord, he was going to make her say it. He was the kind of man to expect complete honesty, and something about him made her want to deliver what he expected. Maybe if she tried to explain it, she told herself, he would understand and stop this insanity.
Where were the words? Sighing, Sara stared at the clock on the stove. The second hand made jerky little movements that seemed to echo the beat of her heart. “They said I was good at it. The first man who—” she swallowed “—who taught me said I seemed to have a natural propensity for it. He told me,” she continued with irony, “that I had a talent for making a man hot. Back then I was so stupid, I thought he was paying me a compliment.” She took a deep breath. “My husband concurred.”
She felt a ripping sensation inside her. Exposing herself this way left her raw and vulnerable. Covering it as best as she could with a tight smile, she turned. “So here I am with my little bag of feminine tricks and talent.” It would have been more accurate to say that here she was with all her feminine need and unquenched desire, but she wouldn’t say it.
She turned toward Daniel and made herself look at him, determined to do the right thing. “You tempt me, Daniel Pendleton. Yes,” she said, seeing the sensual recognition in his gaze, “you make me think about what I’m missing. You make me think about what it’s like to hold and be held. To spend a night so lost in pleasure that night turns to day and day turns to night.” She bit her lip, appalled at all she’d revealed, horrified at what she’d admitted. She shook her head. “But you’re a good man. And I’m not going to ruin any more good men. I’m not going to ruin you.”
Several seconds passed in thoughtful silence. Daniel watched Sara and felt even more determined to have her. That she wanted to protect him was precious; ludicrous, but precious. That she thought he was an angel was a problem. “What if I’m not all that good?”
Tension eased from Sara at his response. After her desperate confession, she’d expected something more condemning. “If being responsible were a crime, you’d get life in prison for it.”
“Don’t rub it in.” He pushed his hands into his pockets and turned away in frustration. “Do you have any idea what it’s like being the oldest of eight? My father nearly lost it after my mother died. That was right around driving age for me. You know, the time when guys play on the football team, take the girls out on Saturday night, and see how far they’ll let you go in the backseat. Well, if you’re busy trying to cover your old man’s butt, then there’s no time for that stuff. Carly was little, and when she wasn’t crying, she was stuttering. Garth was always getting into trouble. I would have been raising a little hell myself, but—”
Sara began to understand. “But you were too busy raising a family.” She sighed. “Did you ever get to choose, to do what you wanted?”
He slowly turned and met her gaze. “Not until now.”
Sara’s stomach tightened. “See,” she said in a softly accusing tone. “I told you you’re a good man.”
Daniel shook his head. “I didn’t want to do the right things. I was angry and frustrated. I resented all that responsibility.”
She felt an overwhelming need to convince him of his worth. It disturbed her that he didn’t seem to realize it. It made her wonder why his family had been so blind. “That’s not the point. You did what you had to, anyway.” She stepped forward, touching his arm when he looked skeptical. “You did your best. That’s what separates the good men from—” she smiled “—the not-so-good men.”
He took her hand and twined his fingers through hers. “That still leaves me with the same problem. I never got to sow my oats. Never got to go parking on a Saturday night. I’m not without experience,” he confessed. “But I’ve always been discreet and respectable.” A dangerous light came into his eyes. Tugging her closer, he lifted her hand to his cheek. “Even if it ruins him, Sara, every man needs to have one forbidden affair with a wild woman.”
He moved her hand to his mouth and kissed it.
The warmth of his mouth kindled her nerve endings. Her heart beat unevenly. He darted his tongue out to taste the tender skin on the inside of her wrist, and Sara’s breath was squeezed from her lungs.
“I can handle the risk, honey,” he said in a low, husky voice. “Ruin me.”
Chapter Four
“Oh, Daniel,” Sara whispered in a shaky voice.
He watched the struggle play across her face. Her pupils dilated with arousal, and she bit her upper lip.
Her desire lit a fire in his gut, and he pulled her closer as he placed her hand behind his neck. Slowly he trailed his fingers down her other arm to her hand and lifted that one behind his neck also. All the while he looked deeply into her eyes. “You said I make you remember what it’s like to hold and be held. Don’t you want to
do more than remember?”
Sara closed her eyes against the powerful attraction brewing between them. “This isn’t fair. I told you—”
Her voice broke off when Daniel slid one of his hands to the small of her back and with his other hand tilted her chin. Her skin was soft and flushed beneath his touch. So tender, yet his body’s reaction was strong and unmistakable. He rubbed his thumb over the velvet lushness of her bottom lip. Even the way her breath caught turned him on. “I’ve been wondering what it would be like to kiss you. Don’t you ever wonder about me?”
Her eyes fluttered open, and she swallowed. “Of course I do,” she murmured, her voice a husky reprimand.
Feeling the smallest rush of male triumph, he sifted his fingers through her silky hair and leaned closer until his lips were a whisper away from hers. He teased himself and her with the slight distance, and the wanting surged between them. “Don’t you ever want to do more than wonder?”
Her breathing grew labored, but she didn’t answer.
“No answer?” Too stubborn to say yes, he decided, but too aroused to pull away. His pulse bucked. God, she made him want her. “I want more than wondering.”
He lowered his head and took her mouth. He absorbed the texture of Sara, her mouth soft and full against his, her body warm and feminine in his arms. Maybe it should have been enough, but it wasn’t. She made him want more. He rubbed his tongue over her lips back and forth, until with a sigh that had his blood pressure zooming she opened.
She tasted like every forbidden delicacy he’d been denied. Sweet and dark like the richest of chocolate with the kick of premium champagne. For a moment he felt rough and awkward next to her delicate femininity. He wondered if he’d read her incorrectly. Maybe she didn’t want him.
But then she was sliding her hands through his hair, caressing his mouth with hers, and she wasn’t just warm anymore. She was hot.
Her tongue was a silken, teasing reminder of the pleasure exchanged between a woman and a man, and he had to curb his overwhelming instinct to thrust. His heart thudding like a jackhammer, he slowly pulled her against the ache she’d started. He hesitated, wondering if she’d back away.
Instead a layer of her inhibitions seemed to fall off, and if he didn’t know better, he’d say she needed to be as close to him as he did to her. She stretched against him, her breasts pressing into his chest, so that he could feel her peaked nipples. The sensation made him want to tear off his shirt and her dress.
Then she gave him the most delightful shock of his life. She opened her thighs, nestled his erection between her legs and gently swiveled against him.
Provocative and welcoming, the movement was all female to his male. Daniel thrust his tongue into her mouth at the same time that he rolled his lower body against her.
Sara moaned, clutching at his shoulders.
Something inside him snapped at the sound she made. He wrapped his hands around her buttocks and gently squeezed, then pulled her skirt up her hips until he felt a garter, the bare skin of her thigh and the heat between her legs. Want, he was consumed with it. Want and need. She was a flash fire in his blood.
He tugged at her panties.
Sara ripped her mouth from his. “No! Oh God, no!” Her voice was a distressed whimper directed more to herself than to him. Her eyes wild and desperate, she pushed her skirt down and nearly tripped over her own feet as she backed away, wrapping her arms around herself.
Daniel’s body pulsed with unappeased arousal. As if his body were locked into one mode, his hands remained outstretched toward Sara. To his horror they were trembling. He clenched his fists and shoved them into his pockets. The haze of his desire slowly cleared.
Embarrassed beyond belief, Sara covered her hot cheeks. “I’m sorry. I—I—” She swallowed, and shook her head. What had gotten into her? “I can’t explain it. It’s just been such a long time for me and—”
“Don’t,” Daniel interrupted. He held up a hand. “Just don’t.”
But Sara couldn’t handle it. She felt guilty, embarrassed and, adding to her mortification, still aroused. “I don’t know what came over me. I meant to pull away, but then your arms were around me and you kissed me and…” She shoved her hair behind her ears. “It felt—”
“Stop.” Frustrated, Daniel roughly ran a hand through his own hair. He sighed. “I was all over you like a damn rutting buck. It’s no wonder—”
“No!” Sara saw the look of bewilderment on Daniel’s face, but she simply could not let him take responsibility for the way things had gotten out of control. Sure, he’d pushed a little, but it hadn’t taken much for him to make her forget all her resolutions. “You didn’t let me finish,” she said in a much quieter voice, feeling her face heat in anticipation of her confession. She took a deep breath. “I was going to say that it felt good. More than good to be held and—” she allowed her gaze to slide away from his “—touched by you. I guess I kinda lost it.”
“That makes two of us.”
She glanced up, hearing the deep, sensual tone of his voice. She’d ruffled his dark hair with her fingers. His cheeks still held the dusky tint of arousal. His mouth was swollen, as she was sure hers was too. His tie had fallen to the floor, and the first few buttons of his shirt were undone. Oh, Lord, when had she done that?
The worst part was that his facial expression and the way he stood all said he hadn’t minded one bit that she’d kinda lost it. And he wouldn’t mind if she kinda lost it again.
Her heart dipped. “It won’t happen again.”
He shifted his stance. “We’re attracted to each other.”
Her better judgment was returning. She moved away from him and put the cocoa back in the cabinet. They wouldn’t be sharing a cup of hot chocolate. “I know, but it would be best if we didn’t see each other.”
“Seems stupid to me.”
Sara paused, her back still to him. Stupid?
“I want you. You want me. We could spend some time together.” He shrugged. “Or I can go home and think about you. And you can think about me. And we can be lonely.”
Lonely. The word made something inside her twist painfully. She was well acquainted with the state of loneliness. She knew well the endless ways that a person could be lonely. She also knew that she’d handled loneliness before. It wasn’t fun, but it kept her out of trouble. She turned. “You have your family.”
A restlessness came into his eyes. “It’s not the same thing, and you know it.”
“We aren’t even friends.”
He went very still. “Do you want to be?”
Sara sighed. Did she want to be? Did it matter what she wanted? Of course not. Unable to meet his gaze, she looked at the floor. “Earlier you said you can handle the risk.” She lifted her shoulders. “Maybe you can.” Biting her lip, she shook her head. “But I can’t.”
During the next few days Sara tried to blot out the memory of that scene. She tried to forget how wonderful it had felt to be held by Daniel Pendleton. She tried not to think about how he’d left. He hadn’t argued or tried to cajole her into changing her mind. He’d just looked at her with those violet eyes that seared her soul, and then he’d left. Her cozy little house that had seemed crowded when he was in it suddenly felt empty and too quiet.
Her concentration was shot straight to hell in a handbasket. Even now Carly was talking, and Sara had missed the last half of the conversation. She gave herself a hard mental shake.
“So will you do it?” Carly asked.
“Do what?”
Carly rolled her eyes. “Sara, I’m beginning to think your mind has moved to the Great Beyond. That’s the second time this week you’ve zoned out on me. What’s wrong?”
Straightening a pile of papers on Carly’s desk, Sara shrugged. “I guess I’ve got something on my mind. I’m sorry. I’ll try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Carly put a staying hand over Sara’s. “We’re friends. You know you can talk to me, don’t you?”
&
nbsp; Not about your brother. If Carly knew what had gone on between Sara and Daniel, she’d either string Daniel up by his toes or try to push Sara and Daniel into something impossible, such as marriage. Sara’s stomach jumped. She managed a weak smile. “I know I can talk to you, and I really appreciate it, but this is just a little craziness that will go away in a week or so.” She prayed it would.
Carly drummed her fingers on the desk. “Okay,” she said reluctantly. “I need to ask a favor of you. I just got a call from Luke’s school.” Carly grimaced. “He has chicken pox and needs to be taken care of. But I have that important meeting with a representative from the National Tourism Association. If it were anyone else, I would cancel. Russ is in Chattanooga. I can’t reach Daniel and the others, so I wondered if you’d handle Luke for a little while.”
Sara hesitated, feeling immediately uneasy. Give her a mountain of paperwork and she could organize it in no time. Give her a business crisis and she’d manage it. She’d always, however, felt inadequate about dealing with children. “Carly, I don’t know much about children. Especially sick children. What if he gets worse?”
“I’ll give you the doctor’s number. Luke is a great kid. Give him just about anything he wants to eat within reason, and he’ll be happy as a clam. You have to take care of him only for the rest of the afternoon, then I’ll pick him up around six and take him home.”
“But what do you do with chicken pox? It itches, doesn’t it?”
Carly shrugged. “You give him a bath. I need to pick him up from school.” With violet eyes so like Daniel’s, Carly looked at Sara beseechingly. “Will you do it?”
Thirty minutes later Luke was sitting in Sara’s bathtub happily pretending her plastic cups and bowls were boats.
“Do you usually take a little nap in the afternoon?” Sara asked hopefully.
“Nap!” Luke screwed his face into a picture of horror and disgust. “That’s for kindergartners. I’m in first grade.”
“Oh.” Naps were obviously taboo, she concluded. “I didn’t know if your fever was making you feel tired,” she explained, trying to soften her offense.