by Leanne Banks
He lifted his eyebrows in surprise. Then he narrowed his eyes and, if possible, his look of determination increased. “Thinking of leaving, Sara?” he asked in an ominous voice.
“Yes. I’m thinking about it.” Her own voice was far more firm than her convictions were.
“I’ll track you down.”
“I don’t know why.”
“Because I love you.”
His words hit her with the impact of a steam engine. Sara sucked in a quick breath and shut her eyes. “I told you not to say that last night,” she said weakly. She felt his hand on hers.
“You told me lots of things last night. Now it’s my turn to tell you.”
Panic tumbled through her stomach, making her nauseous. She shook her head and made herself look at him. “I don’t want to hear it. Especially now. I really don’t feel well.”
Daniel saw the desperation in her eyes. It gave him pause. She did look ill, pale and wan, with shadows beneath her lovely eyes. His mind automatically clicked to the possibility that Sara wasn’t just temporarily ill. She could be seriously sick. Daniel’s gut tightened in dread. He picked her up, and despite her protest he carried her to the sofa. “How sick are you?”
“Just a little.”
His jaw clenched. “Sara, how long have you known that you’re sick?”
Sara stared at him. “What do you mean?”
He fought an avalanche of frustration. Getting information from her was harder than trying to till a straight row when he was blindfolded. Right now he felt as if he was wandering around in the dark without a clue, and he was ready to lose every bit of self-control he’d exhibited for the last thirty-three years of his life. “Have you been to a doctor? Are you seriously ill?”
Sara paused, and her gaze flitted away. “I’ve been to a doctor, and I’m not terminally ill, if that’s what you’re asking. I don’t have a disease or anything like that.”
He felt a measure of relief, but was still unsatisfied with her response. She was hiding something, and he was getting close to finding out what it was. “When did you go to the doctor?”
“A couple of weeks ago. This really—”
“Why did you go?”
She glared at him. “To get birth control pills.”
His surprise made him hesitate a couple of seconds. “And did you?”
“I don’t like being interrogated and I don’t want to talk about this.” Sara tried to get out of his lap, but Daniel held her firmly.
He smiled grimly. “Tough. You wrapped me around your little finger, then threw me out like yesterday’s garbage. Well, honey, let me tell you something. I think you feel a little bit more for me than you’ve let on, and I sure as hell know I feel more for you than I’ve ever told you. So until we get this settled to my satisfaction, I’m sticking to you like glue. If that means moving in, I’ll do it.”
Sara paled. “You’re crazy.”
“Then you’re responsible for me being crazy. Did you get the pills?”
“No.” Sara shook her head. “Let me up.”
Intent on getting to the bottom of this, Daniel ignored her request. “Why didn’t you?”
Sara’s face grew tight with anger. “Let me up.”
“Answer my question,” he said with the persistence of a battering ram.
“No,” she repeated.
“You owe me an answer.”
Her eyes widened. “I owe you nothing!” she yelled. Struggling with a host of emotions, she pushed hard and stumbled from his lap. “I gave you everything I had.”
Daniel was silent less than a moment. “Not enough. Not forever,” he said softly. “And I want forever.”
Turning away, Sara crossed her arms over her chest. Her heart was pounding, her mind was reeling. This was what she’d wanted. This was what she’d secretly dreamed of. In dark, sleepless hours this was what she’d prayed for.
She almost wanted to tell him, to share the reality of her pregnancy with him. The mere thought of it made her sag with relief. The mere thought of it also made her tremble with terror. Sara opened her mouth, but no sound came out. To her utter shock she couldn’t tell him. She’d programmed herself to complete silence about the baby and she couldn’t seem to find the words. Desperate, she swept into the kitchen, with Daniel at her heels. She pulled out a stack of papers and thrust them into his hands. “There.”
He looked at her, his forehead wrinkled in confusion, then he glanced at the papers. “Adoption. Pros and cons.” He flipped to another page, and by the expression on his face, she could guess which one. He looked at her in amazement. “You’re pregnant.”
Her heart twisted at the flat tone of his voice. Tears filled her eyes. “Yes. Isn’t it thrilling?”
His gaze flicked over the papers again. “We always used protection.”
“Ever hear the story about the hole in the condom?” Sara’s voice was shaky, but she was determined to get this out. “I guess one of yours slipped past quality control.”
Stunned, Daniel stared at her in a daze. He was so shocked, he couldn’t see straight. “Pregnant?”
Sara swallowed hard. She felt relief and fear at the release of the secret. “Yes. If you look through the papers, you’ll find a pro-and-con list for telling Daniel. The con side won. You said you wanted to know my secrets. Well, you can find out just about anything you want to know about the past few weeks if you read them.”
She felt worse than if she’d just taken off all her clothes in front of a crowd. Sara wanted to leave.
She didn’t care where she went. She’d take her bedroom, the bathroom, a closet, a crack in the floor. All she knew was that she didn’t want to stay there. She turned to leave, and Daniel came out of his fog and slipped his hand around her wrist.
“I don’t want to read it, Sara. I want to hear it.”
She stared at his hand enclosing her narrow wrist. She felt so utterly fragile. Her heart constricted. “Oh, Daniel, please don’t make me do this. I feel so weak, I’m afraid I’ll cry. And I don’t want to watch you be strong when you’re really disappointed. I don’t want you doing the right thing when you’d rather not. You’ve been burdened with major responsibilities your whole life. I don’t want to add to them.”
“The only thing that’s been a burden to me is figuring out how to ask you to marry me and get you to say yes.”
“See!” she wailed. “There you go, doing the right thing.”
Daniel swore. “What can I say to convince you? Give me the right words.” He lifted both her hands to his chest and tilted her chin so that she would meet his stormy gaze. “I love you. You’ve made me feel like life’s a treat instead of a drag. You’ve made me forget every other woman on the planet. I’ve never been with anyone who made me want to make promises and keep them.” Daniel swore again. “You think I’m strong, but I’m not, Sara. Not when it comes to you. When it comes to you, I’m drowning in all these feelings I have for you.” He lowered his voice. “And I’m scared you’re gonna leave me flat.
“Now, wasn’t that romantic?” he said in a self-deprecating tone. He sighed heavily. “I’ll protect you till my dying breath. I’ll do everything I can to help make you happy. I’m in awe of you. Damn. I wrote all this stuff down last night, and it sounds like crap now. Help me out, Sara. I’m no good at love out loud.”
Sara blinked. His pulse pounded against her palms, and her heart squeezed so tight, she could barely breathe. No good at love out loud? She felt ready to faint. Sara swallowed. “I think,” she said in an unsteady voice, “you lost me after the part about making promises and keeping them.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
Sara looked down. “I was so afraid, Daniel. I’m still afraid. I don’t want you to see me as another burden. You have enough as it is. From the very start it was different with you. I tried to keep a distance, and before I realized it, I’d fallen in love with you. And I don’t mean a little crush. I mean through-good-and-bad, sickness-and-health kind of love. Y
ou’d made it clear that you wanted me for fun. Remember, I was supposed to be your wild, passionate affair?”
Her words were music to his ears. For the first time in thirteen days he felt a ray of hope. “Well, tell me something. If you love me and I love you, then why can’t the wild, passionate affair go on forever? Why can’t we add a couple of gold rings and promises I feel like I’ve already made to you and move in together?”
Her expression was so sad, his confidence went straight down the tubes. “Because it won’t be just me and you,” she explained. “There’ll be somebody else. And I’ll get big and fat and grouchy. And when the baby cries all day, you’ll be grouchy because I’ll be too tired to try to be sexy.”
“I can’t imagine you not sexy. It’s not possible.”
Sara rolled her eyes. “It’s possible. And you haven’t said anything about the baby.”
“I’m not going to,” he said, taking her by surprise. “You dropped a bomb on me last night, then hightailed it out before I could come to grips with it. You’ve had two weeks and—” he pointed to the papers on the kitchen table “—a tablet of paper to work through the idea that you’re pregnant. The least you can give me is a few days. I’ll tell you now, though, Sara—nothing you’ve ever told me could change the way I feel about you. Nothing in your past. Nothing in your present. And nothing in our future. It didn’t take me long to figure out that you’d put the worst possible slant on your relationship with that senator. You want to deny it?”
Stunned, she could only shake her head. How could she deny the truth? How, she wondered, had he come to know her so well?
“Let’s get this settled once and for all. I hate the idea of you being with another man. Do you hear me? I hate it. And maybe you hate the idea of me being with another woman.”
“Yes,” she said tensely.
His gaze softened. “As far as I’m concerned, Sara, there’s no other woman for me than you. And that means past, present and future.”
Sara took a deep breath, and the words from her heart spilled out. “There’s no one else I want to be with, either, Daniel. No one.”
Daniel closed his eyes for a long while. Then he opened them and lifted an unsteady hand to her cheek. “It feels so good to hear you say that out loud, but, Sara, you don’t have to say a damn thing. It’s written on your face. It’s in your every touch, every smile.”
She felt the sting of tears in her eyes. She was completely overwhelmed. “I thought my little bombshell had done the job,” she said in a husky voice.
“You thought wrong.”
Sara shook her head at the implacability in his words. His full acceptance of her tarnished past amazed her. “You are an incredibly exceptional man.”
“Then I deserve an incredibly exceptional woman.” He leaned down and gently kissed her nose. “You.”
She wanted to say he deserved better, but something inside her had begun to shift. His belief in her had nudged a hopeful belief in herself. Maybe, just maybe, she was the kind of woman he needed. Sara held her breath and clung to the seed of hope.
“I’m waiting for my answer.”
Sara bit her lip. She wasn’t ready to say yes. She needed time to absorb all this, time to accept, if she could, that she could have what she’d always dreamed. “This is too fast.”
“Not for me. Give me your answer.”
Lord, but this man was demanding when he made up his mind. Sara made her own demand. “Give me some time to catch my breath.”
“Alone?” Daniel frowned. “You just had a whole week.”
Sara smiled, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. “No. I’d rather not be alone.”
Daniel’s gaze darkened with a suggestion of seduction. He rubbed his thumb over her mouth. “You know, when it’s all said and done, I can’t resist you. My only saving grace is that you can’t seem to resist me either,” he murmured in a deep voice that made her think of all the intimacies they’d shared.
Sara nodded.
“And you know I’ll wear you down.”
Sara felt the beginning of a smile. It started deep inside, where she kept her most secret dreams, and worked its way out.
He gave a heavy sigh. “Okay, Sara, I’m giving you fair warning. I’ll do whatever it takes to get a yes from those lips. Do you understand me?”
Sara nodded, and Daniel took that mouth of hers in a mind-melding, heart-binding kiss. And later that afternoon he confessed a few secrets of his own, one of which was his fantasy about Sara in a red silk slip.
Late one night Sara awoke to find Daniel watching her from across the room. Earlier he’d called to tell her that he would be late, and she’d fallen asleep waiting for him. Sara couldn’t imagine anyone she’d rather see when she woke up. He was leaning against the doorjamb to her bedroom and he’d stripped off his shirt. Nestled in his hand were a few violets. Sara’s heart turned over. He was so beautiful to her that sometimes it hurt to look at him.
In the light from the hall his gaze latched on to hers. “You’re pretty when you sleep.”
“You’re beautiful when you breathe,” she returned, and watched him caught between delight and self-consciousness.
He walked to the bed and sat next to her. Then he slowly lifted his hand and placed it on her stomach. “Think it’ll be a little girl?”
Her chest tightened at the intimate gesture. It was the first time Daniel had brought up the baby since she’d told him a week ago. “I wondered if it would be a stubborn little boy with violet eyes.”
“Stubborn?” he repeated with a quirk of his eyebrow. “Who would he get that from?”
“The same person he’d get the violet eyes from,” she replied dryly. “It’s a Pendleton trait.”
He gave her hair a quick tug and handed her the violets. “I’ve been thinking about our baby.”
Scared, Sara tried to keep her voice calm. “You have?”
He nodded. “You know, I told you how being with you changes the way I look at things. And I gotta tell you, with anyone else, having a baby would be a drag. But with you—”
Sara gave up on calm. “With me what?”
Daniel looked sheepish. “It sounds corny as hell. But with you it feels like an adventure. Do you realize that I like my brothers more now that you’re a part of my life? It’s like you’ve come in and changed everything around.” His gaze met hers in wonder. “But all you did was love me.”
Sara was so moved, her heart felt as if it were flying. “Oh, Daniel.” She lifted his hand to her mouth. “I was so worried. Worried that you would resent me, that you wouldn’t want a child, and—” She bit her lip.
Daniel sensed her deep vulnerability, her battle against fear and anguish. “Tell me,” he coaxed. “Tell me.”
“I wonder if I’m going to be able to cut it as a mother.” Her voice wobbled as she unleashed the hidden fear. “You know what they say about the apple not falling far from the tree.”
He leaned closer to her. “Hon, that apple’s already fallen far, far from that tree.” He looked into her doubt-filled gaze and tried to will his belief into her. “Look at the difference you’ve made in my life and Carly’s. And now we’re going to have a baby, and you’re gonna love him or her. And I’m gonna love that baby too.” He squinted his eyes against a burning sensation. “Don’t be scared, Sara. We’re going to have an adventure, and I’ll be right by your side the whole time.”
A change came over her face. Suddenly she radiated hope and love. He thought of how her spirit was a pearl that had formed out of years of resistance and pain. Damn if he wasn’t getting poetic about her. But perhaps because he knew that Sara had needed to fight against tremendous odds for that hope and love, it affected him all the more. “There’s so much good in you that you don’t realize it. I swear, Sara, if it’s the last thing I do, I’m gonna make you see it.”
“You’ve already made me see it,” she whispered brokenly. She put her hands on either side of his jaw, cradling his face as if it were the most
precious thing in the world to her. “Daniel, I think it’s time for me to say yes.”
Daniel’s heart twisted so hard, he said to hell with fighting tears and let them slide down his cheeks.
Sara gently tugged his head down and kissed his tears away.
Epilogue
The wedding went off without a hitch. Daniel was grateful for how his brothers had acted toward Sara. He knew she’d been a little nervous, but when each of them had kissed her and welcomed her into the family, it had been one more joy in a day that couldn’t seem to hold all the happiness that had passed between them.
His brother Brick had seemed a little preoccupied, but Daniel suspected that Brick was hiding a little romance of his own. Grinning at the thought, Daniel pulled his tuxedo tie loose and undid his shirt buttons. He’d like to see a woman turn Brick on his ear. Yes, that would be an entertaining experience. Though not nearly so entertaining, he thought, as being with Sara tonight.
The champagne was in the ice bucket, the chocolates on the pillows, and his bride was in the bathroom. Despite all they’d shared, he still felt a slice of anticipation. He would hold her soon and make love to her. This time they would share more than a bed, they would seal their vows. His body grew taut as he visualized what she would look like on that big bed.
Restless, he prowled around the suite, unnecessarily adjusting the thermostat and dimming the lights. Impatience made his nerve endings stand on end. He started to call her name, but the bathroom door opened, and his bride’s sweet, sexy gaze wrapped around his heart and squeezed as she walked toward him. He didn’t even try to fight the grin he felt lifting the corners of his mouth.
In her left hand she held a long, fluffy, soft-looking feather.
Daniel began to sweat. Just imagining what she planned to do with that bit of fluff made him wonder if he would survive the night.
Sara flicked the feather back and forth between her breasts in a taunting motion. “Hope I’m worth the wait.” Then she shimmied the wispy tuft down the garment that rendered Daniel speechless. He was sure he’d died and gone to heaven.