An hour could have passed; I had no concept of time. When our hearts finally returned to normal and I felt like I could breathe, I peeled her off my chest and looked into her flushed and relaxed face.
“I’m so glad I didn’t die that night,” I whispered, the words ripping out of me from someplace so incredibly deep. They were painful to say, but in that pain there was joy. Joy that I was finally learning to feel something other than guilt about being alive.
She made a soft sound and her eyes turned into liquid pools. Her hands cupped my face and she rested her forehead against mine. “Thank you for coming home. I’ve been waiting for you forever.”
She reached between us and picked up the dog tags I always wore but seldom ever noticed. I’d been wearing them for so long it was like they were just another part of my body.
I watched as she brought the twin silver tags up to her lips and press a kiss to each one. She replaced the tags against my chest and then cupped my face once more, this time to kiss my lips and tilt my head down so she could kiss the edge of the scar on my cheek.
Something inside me cracked.
The wall of isolation and despair that I so painstakingly built around my heart fractured and completely tumbled away.
31
Honor
Holy hot mama. I felt like a kid who caught Santa putting presents under the tree on Christmas Eve and realized the jolly man in red was actually real.
Nathan was real. He wasn’t perfect. He was a man who had seen many hardships, a man who faced death and war. He was scarred (inside and out), and he would likely always battle with some sort of inner demons.
It’s what made him so remarkable. There were some people like him that might collapse under the weight of all they carried. But he didn’t. Yeah, I could see in his eyes and hear in his voice there were times he stumbled, but he kept getting up.
I didn’t want a knight in shining armor. Knights with shining armor were posers. Everyone knew that the really good knights were the ones whose armor bore chinks and scratches from a battle they were strong enough to survive.
I was still collapsed across his chest and my body still trembled with the after effects of making love to him, when I heard a little ruff from beside the bed. I smiled and pushed myself off him to peek over the side of the mattress. Lucy wiggled her tail, her entire back end twisting with it.
I laughed and scooped her up to snuggle her against my chest. She licked my face and then wiggled free, climbing on top of Nathan’s exposed chest. He opened his eyes and looked at the puppy and smiled.
Lucy plopped her butt down right in the center off him and looked at him expectantly. A chuckle rumbled from his throat and he reached up to scratch behind her oversized ears. I lay down beside him, scooting close to his side, and rested my cheek against his shoulder.
We lavished attention on Lucy and every so often, Nathan would turn and kiss my forehead. I’d never felt so content in all my life. I felt like I was exactly where I belonged, and I couldn’t be more grateful that Nathan (and Lucy) came into my life.
It seemed silly to feel so much so fast. If this were a book, my reviewers would be screaming “insta-love” all over their reviews. But it didn’t matter what anyone else thought, not really. No one else could tell me what was in my heart. Besides, I wouldn’t be confessing my undying love for him anytime soon. I wasn’t in a hurry for that. I wanted to take my time with Nathan. I wanted to know everything he wanted to share. I wanted to explore his body until I knew every single detail, and then I wanted to start all over again.
“You’re awfully quiet over there,” he said, running a hand up my back. “Where’d you go?”
“I haven’t gone anywhere. I’m still here, with you.”
“No regrets?” he murmured, grazing the very tips of his fingers down the center of my spine.
I pushed up, propping my chin on my forearm and staring into his face. “None.”
Nathan lifted his head off the pillow and brushed his lips over mine gently. But it wasn’t enough and the kiss deepened instantly, our tongues colliding in endless, consuming affection. He felt warm and moist. His lips glided against mine effortlessly, like they knew exactly where to go and how to extract the most pleasure from me with just the right amount of contact. I felt my fingers curl into his chest, and I made a small sound of pleasure. Feeling emboldened, I sucked his lower lip between my teeth and nibbled at it. He gripped my bare butt and shot sparks of electricity throughout my body.
“You better put those teeth away unless you want to start a fire,” he murmured, pulling away.
“Maybe I do,” I purred.
He groaned. “Don’t tempt me. I don’t want to hurt you. Your ribs are probably feeling what we just did. You breathing okay?”
How could I breathe when he left me breathless?
“I’m fine.”
“It’s probably time for your pain meds.”
“Probably,” I agreed, making no move to get out of bed.
“We’re supposed to stay at my place tonight,” he reminded me.
“I don’t wanna get up.”
“I have to work in the morning. My uniform is at my house.”
The thought of seeing him in his uniform gave me a little motivation to get moving. “Fine,” I sighed and sat up. My ribs protested and I bit back a wince.
Nathan made a knowing sound and placed Lucy in my lap. “Stay there,” he instructed.
Lucy rolled onto her back, showing me her rounded belly, and I began scratching her as she wiggled all around.
After Nathan made a quick stop in the bathroom, I heard him out in the kitchen, and a few minutes later, he came back with a glass of water and my pills. He was also carrying a plate full of pie.
I grinned and took my pill as he shoveled the pie into his mouth. “We’re almost out of pie,” he said around a huge bite.
“Heaven forbid.” I gasped and set the water on the nightstand. “I guess I’ll have to go to the store tomorrow and stock up on pie supplies.”
He paused. “What do you do all day long anyway?”
I snorted. “I’m a writer. I write.”
“I don’t like the idea of you being home all day alone all the time.”
“I’m not alone. I have Lucy now.”
He grunted and stuck the fork with a bite of cinnamon-covered apple in my face. I took it and chewed while Lucy climbed up my chest, licking at my lips, trying to get a taste.
“I should go feed her,” I said, getting up and opening the closet doors.
“We’ll head to my place after.”
I pulled on a pair of pink sweatpants with the word Aeropostle down the leg, a white T-shirt, and a grey hoodie. In the bathroom, I ran a brush through my tangled hair and pulled it up into a messy knot on the top of my head. I couldn’t help but notice the way certain parts of my body tingled and how I felt slightly stretched and swollen in my panties.
Just thinking about that made me want him all over again.
Nathan came in the bathroom behind me, his jeans pulled on but still unbuttoned. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and his dog tags dangled between his pecs. I turned from the counter and ran my hands up his sides and looped them around his neck. He gave me a quick kiss, then pulled away.
“Are you trying to seduce me?”
“Is it working?”
“Hell yeah, it is.”
I grinned.
Lucy began barking from on top of the bed.
“Easy there, Killer,” Nathan called, and I smacked him in the stomach and went to gather her up.
In the kitchen, I put out plastic bowls of food and fresh water and called Lucy to come eat.
She was standing at the sliders, staring out into the darkness. All the little hair on her back was raised into a line.
“Lucy?” I called, motioning to her food. “Come on, girl.”
She growled, not pulling her attention away from the darkness. A little tingle of fear traveled down my neck. I peered out
where she was watching and, of course, saw nothing but darkness.
Lucy growled again and then started barking her head off. For such a little puppy, her growl was surprisingly aggressive.
This creepy feeling of dread washed over me and images of being attacked and thrown into the hole assaulted me. I did my best to push them away, not wanting to scare myself more. Suddenly, Lucy fell quiet. I breathed a sigh of relief and squatted down beside her food again and called her over.
But she still wasn’t paying attention to me. She was still staring out into the darkness. The house creaked a little with a gust of wind, and I laughed lightly. “It’s just the wind, you silly girl.”
Lucy cocked her head to the side like she was listening, all her attention still on the darkness. I sighed and stood up, stepping toward the puppy. She let out a low growl and then started barking some more.
“Lucy, no,” I admonished, reaching down to pick her up.
I hated to tell her no, but she was creeping me out.
Just as I wrapped my arms around her and straightened, something struck the thick glass of the door and it splintered loudly. I shrieked and spun, watching as a huge crack climbed its way up the window.
I stumbled backward, opening my mouth to yell for Nathan, when the sound of a shot outside reverberated through the night. The bullet slammed into the already fractured glass and it shattered. I felt the heat of it as it whizzed past my cheek and pain bit into my thigh.
Something heavy and hard hit me from behind, tackling me to the ground and smothering me into the tile. Beneath me, Lucy barked and whined as shards of thick glass rained around the room.
The sound of crushing glass and the bullet slamming into a nearby wall echoed through the room, and I cringed.
“Stay down,” Nathan murmured in my ear, using his body like a shield to protect me.
“He’s out there,” I said as my hands began to tremble. Lucy whined and licked my cheek.
“Good,” Nathan growled as his muscles locked and rage simmered beneath his surface. He wrapped his arms around my middle and then half-crawled behind the set of cabinets lining the wall. I sucked in short gasps of breath, my ribs screaming in pain, and my palm where my stitches were throbbed.
Something else hurt too… but my mind was swimming. It was trying to formulate a plan, trying to come up with some sort of way to fight back. It was really hard to think when adrenaline pumped through your limbs at an overwhelming rate.
All I could think was, He’s going to throw you back into the hole.
Nathan rolled off me and crouched low, helping me sit up. Lucy was trying to rush off (likely scared to death), and I was gripping her tiny body, trying to keep her still.
“Shh,” I told her and went to stroke her white fur.
But it wasn’t white anymore.
It was red.
I let out a sharp cry and Nathan looked down, a string of curse words flinging from his mouth. “My puppy,” I cried, running my hands over her, trying to figure out where she was injured. Rage like no other consumed me.
It was one thing to come after me, but it was something else entirely to come after a defenseless baby animal. The anger shoved away the fear, and determination flooded my brain.
“Lucy,” I murmured, my voice breaking.
Nathan had stilled and was looking down.
“What!” I cried. Frantically searching her. “Where is it?” I demanded.
“It’s not her,” he said, his voice flat.
“What?” I said, looking up. His eyes were glassy and far away. His skin had paled as he stared down… I followed his gaze…
The blood was mine.
There was a huge chunk of glass sticking out of the top of my thigh. Blood seeped through the fabric of my sweats and was oozing out around the glass where it punctured deeply into my skin.
All I could think was thank God it wasn’t Lucy or Nathan.
As blood continued to pump out of the wound, sliding toward the floor, Nathan stared at it, paralyzed.
“Nathan,” I said, but he didn’t seem to hear me.
“I’m gonna get the medic, Prior,” he said, his voice far away. “I’m not going to let you die.”
Oh God. He was having some sort of flashback from the night his unit was attacked.
“Nathan!” I cried, taking his face between my hands and forcing his gaze away from my blood loss. “Nathan! It’s Honor. I’m fine. It’s just a cut. I’m going to be okay.”
Nathan’s eyes remained glassy and then he blinked. “Honor,” he whispered.
I nodded. “It’s me. I’m okay.”
He swallowed and glanced back down at my leg.
“Don’t look,” I urged, pulling his face back up to mine.
“I… I’m sorry,” he murmured.
My heart cracked. “Don’t be sorry,” I said, squeezing his face. “Everything’s fine.”
“Don’t die,” he said, his whispered words breaking.
“Look at me,” I demanded, swallowing past the enormous lump that lodged in my throat. “I am not going to die. No one is dying tonight.”
Something in him seemed to hear me because a change came over him. He gave a brisk nod and clarity resurfaced in his eyes. He pulled out his cell from the pocket of his jeans and handed it to me. “Get the cops here. Now.”
While I dialed, he reached up into a nearby drawer and pulled out a bunch of kitchen towels. Leaving the glass lodged in my leg, he used one of the towels and tied it just above the wound as tight as he could.
I gritted my teeth while I hurriedly gave the operator the information and my address.
Another bullet slammed into what was left of the glass, and I screamed. Nathan gave a shout and dove on top of me again, hunching himself around me as even more glass blasted into the room.
I felt his body jerk, and I yelled his name.
The operator on the line was saying, “Miss! Miss!” but I couldn’t reply, not yet. When no other shots were fired, Nathan pulled back and I saw the dozens of little cuts from his shoulders all the way to his wrists, and I wanted to scream.
“C’mon,” he said, not even acknowledging the injuries as he pulled me up and once again shielded me as we ran from the room. In the living room, I assured the operator that we were alive and asked her to hurry.
“The police are on their way, ma’am,” she said. “Stay on the line.”
Like I had time to talk. I set the phone down on the coffee table, leaving the line open, and then placed Lucy on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. I grabbed my purse and dumped everything out, reaching for the gun and flipping off the safety.
The sound of more glass shattering had my muscles stiffening. This time it wasn’t coming from the kitchen; it was coming from downstairs, in my office. The sliding glass doors.
He was coming inside.
Nathan rushed over to where his jacket hung on the railing and pulled a pistol out of his pocket and a knife out of his boot.
Then he tossed me the keys to his Jeep. “Take Lucy and get outside. Get into the Jeep and start it up.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll be right behind you,” he said, a determined look on his face.
He was going to face Lex. He wanted me to go outside while he went and risked his life.
Not gonna happen.
“Nathan,” I said, trying to reason with him. The sound of crunching glass broke off my words, and I knew Lex was in the house. I could hear him knocking things over downstairs in my office as he ripped apart my home.
“Now,” Nathan ordered and grabbed me.
Lucy pawed at my ankle, and I picked her up, cradling her close. I rushed toward the stairs with Nathan leading the way and hobbled down the steps, feeling the sticky ooze of blood all the way down to my ankle.
Just as we reached the landing, a shadow appeared on the wall at the bottom of the lower level of the stairs and Nathan reacted instantly, catapulting over the railing and launching h
imself down the stairwell at our attacker.
“Go!” he roared as I heard the men grunt as their bodies tangled and slid down the stairs.
I wrapped my hand around the handle of the front door. The sound of fists hitting flesh had me spinning around to watch Nathan go at it with Lex, who was dressed in dark clothing with a black cap on his head.
They were so close together, banging into walls, rolling over the ground, that I could barely make out who was who.
And then a gun went off.
32
Nathan
I felt the bullet plow into my skin. I felt the first fiery pain cut into my flesh. And then I shut it down.
No bullet was going to stop me handing this bastard his ass.
I stumbled backward when he plowed into my middle, jamming his fingers in the bullet hole. I bit back a cry and knocked away his hands as I slammed into the wall. He took off through the office door and I pushed up and went after him.
I heard Honor calling my name, but I kept running.
I wanted this guy out of our lives.
Seeing blood rush out of her leg like that almost sent me over the edge. Like a time machine, it transported me back… back to that night when men I loved died. When I was forced to shoot and kill to protect myself. I tried to protect Prior that night.
I failed.
I wasn’t going to fail again.
I rushed over the glass, feeling it cut into the bare soles of my feet, but I kept running. It was dark out in the yard, but my eyes adjusted quickly and I saw Lex leaping over the fence, and I leveled my gun at him and shot off a couple rounds.
Weapons were my job. I didn’t miss my target.
He let out a stark cry and toppled off the fence and hit the ground with a hard thud. With my weapon still drawn, I made my way over to his side, where he was squirming around like a damned pansy.
I kicked him.
I never said I was a nice guy.
He coughed and wheezed; blood spurted out of his mouth and spotted his chin.
There was something about that chin that didn’t seem right…
I kicked the gun out of his hands, and he reached for it, but I stepped on his fingers and bent down. He was still writhing. My bullet hit him in the chest, and I could tell from the sound of his breathing that his lungs were filling with blood.
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