by Kelly Utt
Margaret shook her head. “She was right. Damn her.”
“Right about what? Who?” Neil asked, curious.
“Phoebe,” Margaret said, slinging a hand in her direction. “She knew Tim was dead.”
Holden sighed as the detectives took note of the changing dynamics within the group. Luke and Neil were trained to spot irregularities in human behavior. It was their duty to watch for anything suspicious. They perked up, waiting to hear more.
“What do you mean?” Luke asked. “No one knew. We just got confirmation from the Florida medical examiner a few hours ago.”
“She did,” Margaret insisted, throwing Phoebe and Wilder’s hands off. “She says Tim came to her in a dream last night where he told her Eve was in danger. Do you believe that? Because I think it’s a load of horseshit.”
Luke stared at her curiously.
Margaret continued. “I, for one, would like to hear what else Phoebe Blackburn is privy to. How can we be sure she wasn’t involved? I don’t know her. Not really. But I’ll bet she’d do anything for her precious Eve, that psychotic little bitch. I’ll bet my son would be alive right now if he hadn’t gotten involved with Eve. She is certifiably crazy. The apple probably doesn’t fall far from the tree. Not from what I’ve seen.”
Wilder stood up, raising his hands in the air. “Whoa, whoa, now,” he said forcefully. “Emotions are high. We get that. But my wife had nothing to do with this. And… there’s no reason to speak ill of our daughter. Please.”
“Eve can’t help how she is,” Phoebe pleaded, not bothering to defend herself. She could let the insults slung in her direction slide, but she couldn’t ignore those about Eve. “No more than anyone else with a mental illness can. She doesn’t deserve to be called names.”
Phoebe felt protective of Eve. Any parent would. Wilder certainly did, too.
“Especially when she isn’t here to defend herself,” Wilder added. “I mean, really.” He rumpled his face, anger coursing through his veins.
Luke and Neil remained silent, watching and listening.
“And now we know why Tim and his mother weren’t close,” Jake muttered.
Those were fighting words.
Margaret leaned forward in her chair. “Detectives,” she said. “I want my son’s death investigated thoroughly. I think foul play may have been involved.”
“Oh, come on, Margaret,” Holden inserted. “That’s ridiculous. You heard the detectives. It was an accident. A horrible, terrible accident. Let’s not turn on each other. We’re all grieving for Tim.”
“Easy for you to say,” Margaret quipped. “You’re the golden boy, born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You wouldn’t dare speak against a member of the Blackburn family, even if it was the truth.”
“Not so…” Holden replied. “Not. So.”
Phoebe’s voice rattled as she talked, she was so upset. She turned to face Margaret. “You have no idea what it’s like to have a close family member who is mentally ill… To have a child who is mentally ill, who won’t ever be able to fully care for themselves. It sucks the soul right out of you. All the waiting for something bad to happen. The fear about the trauma your child is experiencing on any given day. Not to mention, the fear about whether you’ll be able to handle whatever happens. And the rage... The rage is the worst, because you don’t want this to be your life. Only it is. There’s no cure. No permanent fix. No escape…”
“Maybe I don’t,” Margaret replied. “All of my close family members are dead. So, sorry if I’m not joining your little pity party. Your family members are still alive. The whole— what, dozen?— of them. Do you realize how insensitive you sound right now, Phoebe? How arrogant? I just learned that my only son is dead.”
“Alright,” Neal interrupted. “That’s enough, folks. This isn’t helping anyone.”
“You can say that again,” Margaret replied. “I came all the way from Phoenix, only to be disrespected. And caught up in this family’s soap opera.”
“Enough,” Neil emphasized.
The group sat quietly, pondering.
“Mrs. Fischer— Margaret— we have a grief counselor on staff we’d like you to speak with,” Neil continued. “Are you willing? His name is Robert Jordan.”
“I don’t know,” Margaret said. “What good would it do?”
“Aside from your emotional needs, there are a number of decisions that will have to be made. Like about Tim’s remains. And his funeral. Robert can help guide you, and he can connect you with local resources. You’ll want to speak with an attorney about your rights and any potential inheritance.”
“Oh,” Margaret replied. “I see. I wasn’t thinking that far.”
“How about you come with me?” Neil asked. “We’ll let the Blackburns discuss the search for Eve while you focus on Tim. I think that’s best right now.”
Neil felt like a kindergarten teacher wrangling irritable children. He felt for them. Luke did, too. But there was business to tend to, and there wasn’t time to waste. His actions or lack thereof could mean the difference between life and death for Eve. Neil had a duty to make every minute count for her.
Neil didn’t have biological children of his own, but he was raising three step-children along with his wife Cate. He could hardly imagine the pain and anguish he would go through if one of them were missing, especially if they had a mental illness like Eve. Neil also understood how the love and concern a parent has for a child goes on even after they become adults.
In that vein and at the same time, Neil felt sad for Margaret. He wanted her to be in the caring hands of someone who could help ease her pain during this most difficult time. Next to the day her husband died, this had to be the worst day of her life.
Robert was a good grief counselor and a good man. Neil knew that he would take good care of Margaret. Placing her into his care was the best thing to do. He hoped that removing her from the room didn’t drive a further wedge between Margaret and the Blackburn family.
“Okay,” Margaret agreed. “I'll talk to the grief counselor. Let’s go. I could use some privacy to clear my head, anyway.”
She stood up and left the room without so much as making eye contact with any of the Blackburns.
19
When Margaret was gone, the Blackburns began talking amongst themselves. They were comfortable again and needed to tend to their family’s business without unnecessary drama.
“Can you believe her?” Jake asked, in a rare instance of speaking up without waiting for Holden or his parents to take the lead. “That was completely uncalled for. And downright rude. I almost said some things I might have regretted. Or maybe I wouldn’t regret them at all. I seriously understand why Tim wasn’t close to her. I’d like to...”
“No need,” Holden said, giving a stern look to his little brother.
“Yeah, I’m with you, Jake,” Marcus added. “I was about to…”
“Me too,” Ty said to his husband. “How dare she talk about Mom and Eve like that?” He balled up one fist and raised it toward his face.
“Mhm,” Marcus replied. “Ugly. That’s what we call that kind of behavior where I’m from... Acting ugly. That old woman should be ashamed of herself.”
“Right,” Jake added. “We can’t help it she’s bitter. She’s apparently mad at the world. Probably has been ever since her husband died when Tim was a kid. I get that she’s experienced loss, but how did she become so nasty?”
“Maybe she was always that way,” Ty added. “Maybe it isn’t the loss.”
“Maybe she’s jealous of how close Tim was to us,” Holden reasoned. “Or maybe she’s just tired and irritable. There are dozens of possibilities. Let’s try not to judge.”
It was easy to be angry. They were all on edge. Even Holden had been upset with Margaret. Emotions were running very high, and she had given the Blackburns a reason to circle ranks and turn their anger on the outsider.
Tim had never explained to any of them why he and his mom weren’t
close. She had attended Tim and Eve’s wedding, but there had been so much going on that none of the Blackburns got a chance to talk to her in any depth. Tim rarely went home to Phoenix to visit. Eve had been there just once.
“I knew Tim was gone,” Phoebe said, attempting to steer the conversation to something less divisive. “I didn’t want it to be true, but I knew it was. I’m so sad about losing him. I’m going to miss him terribly.”
“Me too,” Wilder said. “Tim was one of ours, whether Margaret thinks so or not.”
“We knew you didn’t want to be right, Mom,” Holden affirmed. “It must be upsetting to sense things like that before everyone else.”
Luke was still listening. “So you actually had a dream that let you know Tim had passed?” he asked. “Last night?”
“Yeah, I did.” Phoebe looked forlorn, a reluctant receiver of the information. She didn’t want any special powers or knowledge about life and death. She raised her hands and pulled gently on a lock of hair at the nape of her neck, twisting it around her fingers as she talked.
“If you don’t mind my asking,” Luke continued. “What was it like?”
“Nothing too elaborate,” Phoebe replied. “It was just Tim there, telling me Eve was in danger. I didn’t do anything to make it happen. I’m not sure I could have made it happen if I’d tried.”
Luke looked interested. “How did you know he was… no longer alive? Did he say so?”
“No,” Phoebe confirmed. “It’s just that I’ve had dreams like that where people who have passed away come and talk to me shortly afterwards. It’s never happened with anyone who is still alive. So…”
“That’s impressive,” Luke said. “Did Tim give you any information that might help us find Eve?”
“No, unfortunately not. I got the idea that it was urgent, though. A hurry. But no specifics.”
Luke leaned back in his chair and pressed his fingers together at the tips. “You know, Phoebe, the Rosemary Run Police Department sometimes works with a psychic who consults on missing persons cases. I’m thinking maybe we should connect you with her. She’s based in Sacramento. Her record isn’t perfect, but it’s good enough for me to consider her recommendations when she tells us she has something. Maybe she could help you connect with Tim again. Or with Eve. Or… I don’t know, maybe you could connect with someone who has information about Eve.”
“Like the old TV show, called Medium?” Phoebe asked.
“Sort of,” Luke said. “I don’t know how the psychic does what she does, but I figure it’s worth a shot. Are you up for it?”
“Sure!” Wilder replied, answering for his wife. He grabbed her hand again, clutching it tightly. “Phoebe would be happy to try. Right, hon?”
“Right,” Phoebe replied. “Whatever you think is best, Luke. I’ll try anything if it might help us find Eve. It feels overwhelming to not have any solid leads. And with the snow storm supposedly coming tonight… I hope she’s not out in the elements. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ll do anything. Anything at all.”
“I know you will,” Luke reassured.
He didn’t seem to give any credence to Margaret’s allegations. The Blackburns were relieved.
Holden nodded, resuming his leader-of-the-family duties. “Good. Then that’s settled. Luke, do you have any more information on Eve? Even something small?”
“Nothing substantial,” Luke replied. “I’m sorry I don’t have more to report. But now that we know what happened to Tim, we can focus our efforts on Northern California. We know Eve made it to San Francisco. Our people are working on it. I promise you we’re doing all we can.”
“Is the forecast still calling for snow?” Holden asked. “I haven’t checked for updates yet this morning.”
“It is,” Luke replied. “It’s strange. The grass is green and everything. I haven’t been in Rosemary Run that long, but I didn’t think we got snow.”
“It’s rare,” Wilder replied. “I’ve been here all my life and I can count the times on one hand. They get plenty up on the mountain, but not usually down at this elevation.”
“Do you think forecasters are mistaken?” Jake asked. “Maybe it won’t happen.”
“I don’t know,” Luke replied. “Meteorologists sound sure. I think we should plan for the worst and hope for the best. It’s all I know to do. I’d sure like to find Eve before the winter weather gets here.”
“If it’s okay with you,” Holden continued, not wishing to dwell on factors they couldn’t control, “we’d like to ask for volunteers in the community and start spreading Eve’s photo around.” He was quiet for a moment. “We had hoped we’d be spreading Eve and Tim’s photo. It’s sad that it’s just Eve now.”
“I hear you,” Luke said. “I can see that you folks cared about Tim. It’s a shame, what happened to him.”
The Blackburns agreed, nodding and shaking their heads, their faces hung low.
“If Eve saw the accident…” Phoebe began. “I shudder to think how that affected her.”
“I know,” Wilder echoed. “Unimaginable.”
Luke closed his eyes, agreeing. It was hard on them all to absorb.
“As for spreading the word, yes,” Luke replied, opening his eyes and determined to focus. “That would be helpful. Go to the media, too. Newspapers, TV stations… let’s spread the word far and wide. I’ll have our communications officer put together an official statement. What’s your plan?”
Holden explained about going to the Internet, distributing posters, and making phone calls. He agreed that adding media outlets made sense. “Anything else you can think of?” he asked Luke when he was done.
“I think what you’ve mentioned will take all the time you have and will cover the most important bases,” Luke confirmed. “You folks get busy. All except Phoebe, that is. I want her here with me to work with the psychic I mentioned. Let’s keep in touch throughout the day. Call me right away if you find out anything even remotely new or useful.”
“Will do,” Holden replied.
“And Margaret…?” Phoebe asked.
“Try to put her out of your mind for now,” Luke said. “I don’t mean to sound harsh, but the grief counselor will take care of Margaret. We have to focus our energy on finding Eve. I want her found alive, and soon. As I know you all do, too. There will be time to make up with Margaret later.”
20
Eve had blacked out once again. Her consciousness had failed her repeatedly, as had her grip on reality. She fought against her own mind. She didn’t know how to help herself. Not really.
It was daylight now. Which day, she couldn’t be sure.
Even though it was frightening to wake up not knowing where she was or what was happening, it was during those waking moments that Eve’s happy memories comforted her.
She blinked her eyes gently as a memory of growing up at Brambleberry Fields came into view. Eve was there with her older brothers and their spunky Jack Russell Terrier named Scout. She had been no older than six or seven at the time, and she experienced the memory as if she were that young again.
Scout ran ahead of the Blackburn siblings in the grassy field, the dog feeling like a big animal despite the fact that he inhabited a small body. He always seemed larger than his physical form. He’d run right up to big dogs, sheep, and even horses as if he were in charge of them all. Eve remembered his feistiness, his white fur with big brown spots silky with water from morning dew on the grass, his eyes eager for adventure.
Life was simpler for Eve then, and not just because she was a child. Her disease had not yet manifested its evil presence. She was free, and clear. Her mind was her own. She hadn’t yet disappointed anyone. She hadn’t yet experienced the fear of what she might do to herself and those she loved.
Scout bounded through the grass in Eve’s memory, followed closely by her big brothers. They were all faster than Eve, but they wouldn’t leave her behind. Holden and Jake each held one of their sister’s hands tightly as she ran her little
legs as hard as she could to keep up. She remembered the thrill of moving so fast along with them. And she remembered looking up at Holden’s face as he helped her. It had felt like she was flying, safely, under the watchful eye of brothers who loved her dearly.
She felt a pang of longing for that safety. She wondered if she’d ever have it again.
Next, a memory of Tim appeared front and center. It was the rehearsal dinner on the evening before their wedding. The event was held at a restaurant in downtown Rosemary Run called Honey Hog, a rustic-chic place with crisp white table linens set against exposed wood ceiling beams and red brick walls. The entire family had gathered, along with the bridesmaids and groomsmen.
Marrying Tim had been a dream come true for Eve. It was a dream that she hadn’t been sure would ever come to fruition.
On the night of the rehearsal dinner, Eve felt especially grateful for her happiness and good fortune. She saw it all in her memory in rich detail. She could hear the gentle clinking of glasses after Holden gave a toast in his role as best man. She could see the fresh floral centerpieces on the table in front of her. They were baby blue forget-me-nots and white roses tied in bunches with sheer ribbon. Every element of the design was exactly as Eve had imagined. She again felt like the belle of the ball as she remembered.
She could smell the warm bread placed on the tables ahead of dinner. And she could taste the cake that was served for dessert.
As Eve remembered, she paid special attention to Tim’s face. He looked so good to her in his suit and tie. He never dressed in suits for work, so it was a treat to see him wearing one for the special occasion. Eve watched him closely for any sign of nervousness or second thoughts. There were none. Tim smiled from ear to ear as he looked at her, his bride-to-be. His face was relaxed and happy. He looked like he was experiencing the same bliss that Eve was.