Mitch laughed again. He seemed to take genuine delight in the problems of others. “You can say that again. Fawn’s critiques have gotten so incomprehensible that she’s making Ember look downright professorial.”
Ember rolled her eyes at him. “It’s a good thing you try to be obnoxious, because this way you know why you don’t have any friends.”
“Mitch doesn’t need friends. He has his hate mail to keep him warm at night,” Fox said.
Mitch could take as well as he gave and he laughed along with Ember at the boss’s comment.
“Now back to Fawn,” Fox said. “Is she using? Usually I can tell up front, but this time…”
Ember did not like the way this conversation was going. She didn’t want to lie to Fox, but she also refused to rat out a friend. “Fawn normally acts a little high so it’s hard to tell the difference.”
“This season has started out very well,” Fox said. “I don’t want anything to derail it. I’ve decided to have a random drug test for the on air personalities—judges and contestants—so that if Fawn is getting high we can deal with her before it becomes a scandal. Is that going to be a problem for either of you?”
Mitch shook his head. “Of course not.”
“Ember?”
“You could end up creating the very scandal you’re trying to avoid,” Ember warned him. “Just the rumor that you’re drug testing could set the tabloids onto this story.”
Fox clearly didn’t like that answer. “I think I can manage the tabloids,” he said.
“If we could manage the tabloids,” Ember contradicted him, “you wouldn’t be worried about a potential scandal.”
His brow suddenly furrowed with concern. “You’re not using, are you Ember?”
Ember sighed. “No, Fox, I’m not—not for a lot of years. I haven’t even done pot since you brought me on Rock Idol.”
She didn’t like the sudden scrutiny Fox gave her. Did he not believe her or was he impressed? She felt the need to say something further. “Look, drugs had a lot to do with the collapse of my career and the failure of my marriage. All Ned wanted to do was get high. I cleaned myself up from the hard stuff a dozen years ago and I’m never going to use it again.”
A nasty thought occurred to her. “Hey, Fox, this isn’t about Fawn at all, is it? Why are you worried about me?”
“I’m not worried about you, Ember,” Fox assured her. “I’m just trying to decide if Fawn will stay part of the team.”
“So you’re looking to fire her?” Mitch asked.
“Not in the middle of the season,” Fox assured them, “but Fawn’s contract is up and I may be looking to replace her.”
That was a warning to Mitch and her too, Ember noted. They’d all signed initial three season deals.
Fox stood up. “Now why don’t the two of you go mix with our contestants and see if you can’t give them a few pointers that turn this into the best night yet in Season Three?”
Rick Rogers caught Ember’s eye from across the room and gave a little shake of his head toward the hallway.
Ember sighed. She liked him. He was a really attractive young man and a great kisser, but she had a career to think about and she wasn’t going to let herself be alone with him again.
“Why doesn’t Mr. Atwood dedicate a night of the show to your old hits?” Zach Donderhue asked her.
Ember pulled her mind back into the conversation. “That would be really sweet, but I think Mitch might lose his dinner if we made him listen to all of my old songs.”
“Right you are,” Mitch said as he joined the conversation. “Ember was great at filling the wet dreams of horny teenagers when she took the stage, but have you ever really read her lyrics?” He pantomimed holding a microphone in front of him. “You make me feel so hot, hot, hot—so very hot, hot, hot—oh I’m so hot!”
He couldn’t maintain his serious expression and burst into laughter. “Honestly, Ember, you really were the hottest woman in music in the late eighties, but those lyrics you sang—absolute drivel.”
Ember couldn’t help laughing either. “Some of them were pretty weak, weren’t they, but damn those were fun days!”
“Your career actually epitomized what you and Fox were trying to tell me earlier,” Mitch continued. “Oh you had talent, but the music you had to work with wasn’t always the best. The factor that put you up on top was a sort of magical charisma that defies quantification. It was the it factor—or the star factor as you called it earlier.”
“I may have to sit down,” Ember joked. “Someone must have put some drugs in my drink. If I’m not mistaken, Mitch just told me I was right and gave me a compliment.”
“Don’t let it go to your head,” Mitch said.
“So you do admit that pure singing talent isn’t enough to win this competition?” Ember asked.
“I don’t like it,” Mitch admitted, “but it’s obviously true. And let’s face it, that’s the only thing that keeps people like our boy Zach here or that puppy dog over there who keeps trying to get your attention in the running.”
“Wait a minute, I have talent,” Zach protested.
“Yes, you do,” Mitch agreed. “You don’t have as much as you think you have, but you have enough to do pretty well if you put your mind to it.”
Across the room, Rick made the head gesture again. It wasn’t very subtle.
Mitch raised an eyebrow at Ember. “Are you going to see what he wants? He’s going to injure himself if you don’t help him soon.”
Ember sighed. “I guess I’d better.”
She excused herself and walked toward Rick.
As soon as he saw her coming, he slipped out the door and into the hallway. Ember sighed again and followed him while Mitch laughed at her.
Outside, Rick looked contrite—even ashamed of himself. “Thanks for coming out here, Ember. I’ve been thinking about this all week and I have something I really need to say to you. Do you mind if we go talk in your dressing room?”
Ember definitely didn’t like the sound of that. She was not going to be alone with him again—at least not more alone than this, standing in a hallway right outside a room full of people. “Why don’t you just tell me what’s on your mind?”
“I wanted to talk to you about last week.”
Ember frowned. “Rick, I’ve said everything I’m going to say about that.”
He swallowed hard and looked around. There was no one in the hall but it was in the nature of corridors that someone could appear at any moment. “Are you sure we can’t go somewhere private?”
There was no question in Ember’s mind that she did not want to be truly alone with this young man again. He’d stepped across the line last week and she wasn’t going to give him the opportunity to put her in a compromising position again—not with Fox in his anti-scandal fervor. And besides, she hadn’t been exactly passive during that kiss. She wasn’t certain she trusted herself not to do something stupid if a hunk like Rick made another move on her. “Yes, I’m sure. What’s on your mind?”
Rick looked her straight in the eye. “You, and the way I treated you last week. I’m ashamed of myself. I wasn’t acting very professional. I wasn’t even acting like I cared. You told me in no uncertain terms what the rules were and I pushed you anyway. I’m sorry!”
This was not what Ember had expected Rick to say to her. Frankly, it was much more welcome than another attempt to kiss her. Still, she’d seen a lot of guys try a lot of different come-ons over the years and she wasn’t completely certain that this wasn’t just a strategy on Rick’s part to get close to her again. “Let’s just put it behind us,” she suggested.
Rick obviously wasn’t ready to do that yet. “I’ve been a fan of yours all my life. Having you encourage me like that—I guess it went to my head. I’m truly sorry.”
“I accept your apology,” Ember told him. She meant what she said. Despite her cautious skepticism, she was pretty sure that Rick was sincere in his words. He was a young guy in a new envi
ronment and he’d lost his head. “Let’s just pretend the last two weeks never happened.”
Rick’s cocky smile reappeared on his face. The smile that surfaced whenever he seemed to be enjoying himself. “Oh, I don’t want to do that. Think about it for a moment. I actually got to kiss my very own rock idol. I’m never going to forget. To paraphrase Paul McCartney, I’ll still remember that kiss when I’m sixty-four.”
Ember cringed at the double mention of the kiss even as her body flushed in happy memory. Fortunately, Rick didn’t dwell on the word.
“Hey, may I ask you something? I guess it’s asking for a favor—which I definitely don’t deserve—but you’ve given me some great advice since I got here to Rock Idol. Will you keep doing it? I really admire you and it really does make a difference to me, thinking I have you in my corner.”
This was a request Ember felt perfectly comfortable filling. “Of course, I will, Rick.” She placed a hand reassuringly on his firm, muscular arm, then tried to suppress the memory of how good this arm had felt as it wrapped around her body. “And I am in your corner. I want all of our contestants to perform as well as they possibly can.”
The door behind Ember burst open and Fawn Fields stormed out into the hall, eyes blazing with fury. “How could you? I trusted you! How could you do this to me?”
Ember had no idea what Fawn was talking about. She opened her mouth to explain this but Fawn didn’t stop talking long enough for her to do so.
“You!” Fawn pointed her finger at Rick in an uncharacteristically assertive gesture. “Go someplace else! Now!”
Rick started to protest. “Wait a minute! What’s going on?”
“I said now!” Fawn raged.
“You better do as she says, sweetie,” Ember told him.
“You better do as she says, sweetie,” Fawn mimicked. “Honestly, Ember, he’s half your age.”
Rick started to protest again but Ember shifted her hand to his back and urged him to reenter the room with the other contestants. “Please, sweetie, why don’t you go join the others? I obviously need to talk to Fawn.”
Rick looked from Ember to Fawn and back again, trying to figure out if Ember really needed him. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Fawn mimicked.
Ember nodded to him and he left.
The moment he was gone, Fawn attacked her again. “How could you?”
Ember suppressed the urge to snap back at the woman. “I don’t know what you think I’ve done to you, but we’re not talking about it here where absolutely anyone can hear what we’re saying.” She started down the hall and found a small conference room that wasn’t in use.
As soon as the door closed behind them, Fawn started in on her again. “How could you?”
Ember had taken enough of the crap. “How could I do what?”
Fawn face scrunched up as if she were about to burst into tears. “How could you tell Fox I was using drugs again?”
“What?” Ember asked. “I didn’t tell Fox that!”
“Don’t you dare try and deny it!”
“I didn’t tell him!” Ember insisted. “He came up with this idea for drug testing all on his own.”
“He asked if you thought it was a good idea and you agreed! Why do you have it in for me?”
“I did not…and he did not…and…” Ember’s voice trailed off, confused by all the nots that were coming out of her mouth. “Look, Fawn, I did not tell anyone you’re using and I did not agree with Fox that drug testing was a good thing.”
“Mitch said he asked you about me.”
Mitch! Ember would have throttled the troublemaker if he were standing in front of her right now. “You know you have to listen carefully to what Mitch says. He enjoys stirring up trouble.”
“So you’re saying Fox didn’t ask you if I was using again?”
“What? No, I mean, Fox asked if I thought you were doing drugs, but I didn’t tell him I found you snorting.”
“No! You said I was so high all the time you couldn’t tell the difference!”
“That’s right!” Ember snapped. “And I can’t tell! But I didn’t make it a bad thing. I made it a joke to try and take the pressure off the situation.”
“What you should have done was swear you knew I was clean!” Fawn retorted.
“And that would have just convinced the both of them that I was covering for you.”
“I can’t believe you did this to me,” Fawn repeated, bringing their conversation around full circle.
“I didn’t do anything!” Ember insisted. Then she thought of another tact she could take with Fawn. “Look, Fox didn’t tell you about this himself, did he?”
Fawn eyed her suspiciously. “No.”
“But he told Mitch and me about it in advance. That means he wanted you to hear he was thinking about you. He wants you to have a chance to go straighten yourself out and pass the test.”
“But you didn’t give me the warning.”
“Fawn, it hasn’t been two hours yet. I’d have told you when we had a moment to talk in private.”
Fawn sniffed. It was obvious that she didn’t believe Ember. “You as good as told him I’m high all the time.”
“No, I didn’t. I told him that you’re so flighty on stage that I can’t tell if you’re high or not. But that flightiness is you, Fawn! It’s what America loves about you.”
Fawn burst into tears.
“Oh, sweetie,” Ember said. A lot of her anger evaporated at the sight of those tears. “We’ve got a good thing going here. You don’t need the coke.”
“There’s so much pressure!” Fawn said.
“You don’t need it,” Ember repeated.
“Yes, I do!”
“But, sweetie, you can’t keep going like this. He’ll catch you!”
“Why should he catch me?” Fawn asked. “I’m forewarned. I can fake the drug test. I’ve always been a little flighty. You’re the one who’s making a fool of herself walking around with mooneyes for a twenty-one year old boy.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Try to look at someone besides the judges,” Fawn mimicked. She was good at impersonating, and especially good at adding a twist of pure nastiness with her inflection. “Admit it! You don’t think Rick is looking at the judges. You think he’s up there singing just for you. He’s half your age, Ember, with a million female fans who think he’s the hottest thing since Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. He’s not interested in a washed up forty-two year old has-been like you!”
Fawn’s words rekindled the rage in the pit of Ember’s stomach.
“Do you have any idea how pathetic you looked out there in the hallway just now, fawning all over him hoping he’ll kiss you?” Fawn continued. “You probably think he’s really interested. At least when Mitch goes after his nubile young girls he’s honest enough to know that the only thing they’re after is a chance to be on this show or a record deal. You’re insane if you think that boy’s doing anything but using you!”
Fawn’s words struck at the heart of Ember’s insecurities. She had a terrible track record with men. They had always been her biggest weakness. She had a long history of making bad decisions where guys were concerned, but like her drug addiction, she’d been keeping it under control these last few years and damn it, she was not doing anything inappropriate with Rick!
“You’re a washed up, forty-two year old has-been with delusions of—”
Ember finally lost her cool. “Get out! Get out of here!”
Fawn stared at her a moment or two longer, then smirked and stepped out of the conference room, leaving Ember alone with her thoughts. They weren’t attractive—and apparently neither was she anymore. A washed up, forty-two year old has-been pretty much summed up her existence before Fox brought her on board at Rock Idol. Maybe she was fooling herself. Maybe the world had been laughing at her all this time she’d sat on the judges’ panel and she’d been too wrapped up in the rebirth of h
er career to notice.
And Fawn? What the hell had happened with Fawn? Ember knew they’d never been close, but she’d genuinely thought they’d become friends. How had things with Fawn devolved like this? Was it just a week ago they’d been on top of the world together?
Ember sank down into one of the chairs and dropped her head in her hands. She needed a drink. No, she needed a snort of cocaine! There wasn’t a day she didn’t think about the drugs, but it’d been two years since she’d felt she needed them like she did now.
She still knew all the old phone numbers. One call and none of these problems would be important anymore. One call! Her cell phone was in her dressing room just a couple of minutes away.
“Ember?”
Rick slipped into the conference room and closed the door behind him. “Ember, are you all right? I got worried when you didn’t come back with Fawn.”
Ember forced the thoughts of drugs out of her mind and pulled herself back together. “I’m fine, just fine.” She got up and attempted to walk past Rick but he caught her arm and turned her around to face him.
“You don’t look fine.”
“No, I look forty-two,” she said, not even trying to keep the self-pity and self-loathing out of her voice.
“What? No, you don’t! Who said that?”
Ember attempted to pull free of him, but Rick didn’t let her go. Instead his hand came up and caressed her cheek. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered. “You could never look forty. You’re Ember Blaze!”
Ember knew it was a mistake, but she let Rick pull her into a hug. Let Rick prove on some level that there was some trace of attractiveness left in her aging body. She’d even let him kiss her again when he did the guy thing and took advantage of her despondency. Her arms slipped around his back as she waited for him to make his move.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I know,” he crooned.
The words felt good. In the back of her mind, Ember knew this was a bad idea, but if the choice was drugs or a guy, wasn’t Rick the better choice?
Rock Idol (Reality With a Twist Series) Page 4