Cold and shaking with chill, Cendri whispered, "No. Never."
"And you have heard it. I know you have heard it, child, I have seen it in your face—"
Cendri whispered, reluctantly, her spine prickling, "I have—I have heard."
Vaniya nodded, slowly, drew Cendri to her feet, her arm around the younger woman. She held Cendri close to her, within the heavy cloak she wore. Together, arms enlaced, holding each other against falling in the darkness, they went down the steps toward the site of the old spaceship.
"Come, child. Come. I know now that they will help me, that they will speak to me; they, who know all, will surely help me to find the tokens of the Mother, so that I may continue to guide my daughters. They will reaffirm my leadership, let me remain Mother to my people. Come, Cendri. Come and see."
CHAPTER TEN
Clouds drifted across the face of the nearer moon; the further, shining valiantly, gave a light substantially dimmed as the women, clinging together, moved toward the dark loom of the old spaceship. Cendri wondered why—and how?—the ship itself had become a focus of the presence, whatever it was. Or had the mysterious Builders simply drawn the ship down to themselves? We-were-guided, the Matriarchs called the ruins, thus commemorating the contact with the alien presences.
Builders. Dal was right, then, and these ancient ruins were the site of those who had seeded the known Galaxy with their offspring. Her skin prickled, and she felt cold creep along her veins. Had this alien race actually cast their seal on the Matriarchate as their preferred people?
The torch in Vaniya's hand flickered and went out, but Vaniya, her steps unerring in the darkness, guided them on. As they neared Cendri began to feel again the sense of an overwhelming, welcoming warmth that lapped about her, crept up into her whole body, so that she no longer felt the cold or the dampness of the dawn wind off the ocean. She no longer needed to see; her feet were drawn forward by some volition outside of herself. She struggled for a moment to cling to herself, to her own perceptions, not this alien thing that seemed about to overcome her, to suffocate her own personality.
I don't believe in Gods.. .religions are an element of social control—even Vaniya, who is their priestess, said so tonight.. .And yet something drew her on, something outside herself, a glow within, a warmth, a sense of being lapped in deep, loving tenderness. Vaniya had fallen to her knees; Cendri was not conscious of any act of will as she fell beside the other woman, kneeling there rapt in the warmth.
1 love you...you are loved, you belong to me, you are mine.. .Cendri struggled to keep an atom of awareness back from the intensity of this, the sensation of being swallowed up in it... no use. She drifted in rapture. She never knew how long she knelt there, suffused, overcome, in the presence which wiped out her critical judgment or her disbelief.. .how could she disbelieve? It was there, it was real, it was.. .transcendence____
The sunrise blurred her eyes, and she felt them fill with hot tears. It was gone; she was alone, kneeling beside Vaniya on the chill surface of the ruins, and the towering mass above them was only an old hulk of a spaceship, long past its usefulness. She felt cold and alone, the last traces of the warmth and the presence slowly withdrawing in little ripples from her mind and her senses.
At her side Vaniya sighed, struggling to her feet with a faint groan of pain from stiffened joints. Cendri turned quickly and helped the old woman regain her feet.
Vaniya pressed her hand affectionately. She said in a whisper, her face still blank with the last traces of the rapture, "How strange—and how rational. Mother Rezali indeed confirmed my leadership, knowing how Mahala hates and fears the serpents of the shore." Her eyes blinked, focused on Cendri. "In the sea-caves, so They have told me, I will find the ring and the robe, the true ones and no forgery."
"Must we go, then, and find them?"
Vaniya shook her head. "I will send Maret, and my daughters whom I can trust; you have done enough, little Cendri." Her hand on Cendri's shoulder, Cendri supporting Vaniya's steps, they came slowly up out of the ruins, into the reddening fog along the shore. The sun was rising; it was damp, and as they retraced their steps along the shore, the incoming tide lapped at their shoes and soaked the edges of their long cloaks. In the garden, every blade of the greyish grass and every leaf was soaking, and the opening blooms of the fish-flavoring herbs gave a sharp, penetrating fragrance to the shrubbery. Vaniya breathed it in and laughed softly. "From the smell of the garden I can tell the seasons—you will join us in the festival, little daughter? Truly you are one of us now, since the Old Ones have spoken to you." She gave Cendri an affectionate hug, and Cendri smiled up at her, and said, "Laurina has asked me to join you—"
Looking into Vaniya's face, she was suddenly aware of how old Vaniya must be. She looked strong and vigorous, indeed; but long fasting and sleepless nights, had told on the iron strength of the Pro-Matriarch. "Mother," Cendri said, using the older woman's formal title for the first time, "I beg you, go and sleep, and have something to eat! You are so tired!"
Vaniya sighed, and said, "As soon as I have sent the women of my household to reclaim Rezali's ring and robe.. .my daughters will need my strength in the days to come." And with a faint shiver Cendri realized that Vaniya did not mean Miranda and Lialla and her children and grandchildren, but all of the women of Isis, who, if she were High Matriarch, would be her daughters.
...and I too, I am her daughter.. .Cendri thought with an atavistic prickle, tension gripping her whole body. As they came up into the house, the women of the household came flocking into the main hall; but at the look on Vaniya's face they drew back, and Cendri knew that they still saw, in Vaniya's eyes, the ecstasy of contact, the Presence still clinging to her.
This is the true religious experience, the only thing which keeps
a religion from being mere imposture.. .the actual touch of
something beyond the world we know.. .and it is real.. .real______
Vaniya said briskly, "Call Maret, at once; go with her to the sea-caves along the shore, ten and a half kilometers beyond the pearl-divers' village. In the third cave southward, exactly twenty meters from the entrance, the three-eyed snake is painted on the wall. Dig down two meters and you will find a chest in which Rezali's ring and robe are concealed."
Lialla whispered, "The Mother Rezali has spoken to you, then, Mother?"
Vaniya shook her head. "No. But She who is wiser than the Mother Rezali in life or death sent the vision to my mind as I knelt to seek guidance in We-were-guided. Go at once, my children. Lialla, Zamila, bring me food; I must eat and recover my strength." She swayed, and her daughters supported her. Vaniya said, "Send at once for Miranda, she too must be told the news... Cendri, my child, go and rest!"
Cendri left the old woman to the attendance of her daughters and granchildren, the flocking women of her household, and slowly climbed the stairs to her own room. She felt deathly cold and exhausted, completely unable to assimilate the experience. She was completely free of doubt; she knew that Vaniya's women would find the ring and robe as Vaniya had said, buried in a chest two meters below the surface beneath a painted three-eyed serpent twenty meters inside the third cave ten and a half kilometers south of the pearl-divers' village.
Clairvoyance, yes. I have always been willing to believe in that.
But this.. .this presence___
Dal stood up slowly from his place in the padded corner where he slept. His face was stormy.
"Cendri, where have you been? I was worried about you, and when I saw you coming back from the ruins with Vaniya, across the garden—"
She shook her head. "Dal, Vaniya has found the ring and robe of the High Matriarch. She took me with her into the ruins to consult the—the presences there—"
He shook his head in confusion. "Cendri, what is it with you and that woman?"
If it had not been so deadly serious she would have laughed. She said, "Dal, do you really believe that Vaniya and I are having a flaming love affair? Do you realize she is o
ld enough to be our grandmother?"
"That hasn't stopped her from keeping Rhu for a lover, has it?"
"Rhu is her Companion; I don't really know what their sex life is like and I honestly don't give a damn. Anyway, that isn't the point. You can't have it both ways, Dal; if you think she's keeping Rhu for a lover, it hardly makes sense to think I am involved with her, does it?"
"You are certainly loyal to her!"
Cendri said seriously, "It's true; I love her. But not the way you evidently think, Dal, and that's too ridiculous for words!" She would have laughed, again, but she sensed his jealousy, the deep sense of uncertainty Dal felt, was very real to him. She went to him and put her arms up around his neck. "Dal, darling! That isn't important now! I told you; Vaniya has found the ring and robe of Rezali!"
Morosely, Dal swore. "I hoped the other woman would get it, we might make some headway with her!"
"I'm not so sure," Cendri said slowly.
"A society which picks its leaders on the word of a clairvoyant is a pretty silly society, all things considered."
"It isn't for you to judge them," Cendri said sharply.
"No, damn it," Dal said angrily. "But Mahala is a sensible woman—"
Translation, Cendri supplied to herself not speaking aloud, MahaJa recognizes Dai's superior position and takes it into account, flattering him. But she did not say so.
"Dal, I was in the ruins, and the Builders spoke to Vaniya! They told her where to find the ring and the robe—"
But even as she spoke she saw the skepticism creeping over his face, and sighed. He frowned.
"The Builders spoke to her? Oh, come, Cendri!"
"They did," she insisted stubbornly, "I was there—"
"So what did they say to you?" he demanded, and she sighed, abandoning the effort. How could she communicate to Dal, in words, an experience that was far beyond them, a feeling, an emotion....
"Look, Cendri," he said reasonably, "your pal Vaniya is a consummate hokum artist. She was trying to impress you. Maybe she has some clairvoyance—a lot of people do. But I've been in those ruins, too, day after day. Nobody and nothing ever spoke to me."
She started to say, the Builders never speak to men, and stopped herself, Dal would never believe that. He shook his head in amused contempt.
"Come and sleep, Cendri, you're asleep on your feet.. .wandering all night long in the ruins with Vaniya! If she's found Rezali's ring and robe, you've got to hand it to her, I suppose. I won't deny I'm sorry; Mahala is the kind of person I can get along with, and I was planning, if she became High Matriarch, to start laying the groundwork for a fully equipped scientific expedition to come here to work on the ruins. These ruins are older than any civilization I've ever seen or read about; there's a possibility they are Builder ruins, if they have actually been preserved by Time stasis or some such thing. A civilization two million years old, Cendri! And you expect me to pussyfoot around because these stupid women here have made it into a Temple for their idiotic religion?" He shook his head in disbelief. "But Vaniya's a True Believer, and I hate the idea of having to work with her!" Abruptly, he stopped his growing excitement and said in a kind tone, "Sweetheart, you're asleep on your feet, come and rest. We'll talk about it later sometime, if you want to."
Later that day, Cendri, who had slept till mid-day, saw the group of Vaniya's household servants and her daughters, returning, carrying with them a great chest which looked, in fact, as if it had been buried for a long time inside a cave, or somewhere equally damp, for the metal fittings were rusted and the outside was covered with a layer of mud. But Miranda told her, exultantly, that it had indeed proved to contain Rezali's genuine ring and her embroidered robe, and that Vaniya had already sent to summon the women of the Council.
"I hope this will be settled before the festival," Miranda said. They were standing on the steps, and Cendri could see, on the road
that led past the Pro-Matriarch's residence, more and more men flocking into the city. Cendri felt a sudden inner dread.
Dal was evidently working for the Unity, fomenting rebellion among the men! If he were to encourage rebellion at the time of the festival, when the city was filled with men from the delta and the great dam-building project, he would virtually have an army at his command! Her disquiet increased that night as they sat at their evening meal, and saw Dal and Rhu talking in quiet tones, apart from the women. Rhu had some connection with the underground movement, which she identified only by the password she had heard once or twice: "We were not born in chains."
But—Rhu? The gentle Companion, the musician, the man wholly without violence? He did not take part in athletic contests; he seemed to lack the physical strength which was the most valued sign of maleness here. Could he truly be working for a movement which would have to succeed, if it succeeded at all, only by violence and a bloody coup d'etat? And would Dal—Master Scholar of University, committed to their ethic of self-determination for all worlds—would Dal ever lend himself to any such thing?
In this world, Dal is legally my property. I am bound to obey the local laws, I will be held responsible for whatever he does. Isn't it my duty to find out ? Yet she shrank from the scene she knew Dal would make if she were to question him.
I am a fool, to be frightened of Dal, to be so submissive. I always thought myself any man's equal. Why can I not act that way? Why does the very thought of his anger destroy me this way?
Toward sunset, a messenger came from the Council of Elders; on the morrow, they would meet with Vaniya and her entourage to determine whether the true ring and robe of the High Matriarch had indeed been found. Grimly, Vaniya ordered her strongest women to stand guard over the chest.
"I would not be surprised at all if Mahala sent envoys to steal it," she said, her mouth tight, and glanced at Miranda. "I wish you were past the birthing time; while you are here like this, we are vulnerable—"
Miranda's blue eyes were wide. "You do not believe Mahala would resort to violence, surely?"
"I do not believe she is incapable of it," Vaniya said, troubled.
But the night passed peacefully, and in the morning, Vaniya, accompanied by her older daughters—again, Miranda felt she should not leave the house, since the birth seemed daily imminent— set forth. Cendri, again, was invited to accompany them.
She had a curious sense of repetition, as if she were replaying a tape on her graphics-recorder equipment, as they entered the Hall of Matriarchs, to face the women seated on cushions, while Vaniya solemnly proffered the ring and robe for examination.
Cendri watched Mahala while the Pro-Matriarch took the robe on her lap and unfolded it. She had noted before that there was something feline about the younger Pro-Matriarch; now Cendri had a curious inner picture of a cat with claws extended and every hair on its back rising, as Mahala, her face taut, examined the embroideries.
At last, her eyes narrowed to slits in her triangular face, she said, "It seems, indeed, to be the true copy of Rezali's ring and robe; although you, Vaniya, having seen them on our late High Matriarch's effigy, could have duplicated them—"
Vaniya said dryly, "If after five minutes of examining them through the glass case, I could go home and duplicate them in less than a single day, then I should be superhuman enough that I might indeed make a better High Matriarch than any rival claimant. But I make no claims of more than human power. As you can see from the chest, it has been buried a long time; and this is the authentic ring and robe. I call upon every woman here to acknowledge that I am duly designated by the spirit of our late Mother Rezali, and to acknowledge me as the true and only High Matriarch of the city of Ariadne and the government of Isis."
Mahala leaped to her feet, her eyes flaming in anger.
"This is superstitious flummery," she cried, "I protest! I call for this matter to be settled by the Council, who must acknowledge that I am at least no madwoman! And surely if Vaniya believes that the ghost of a dead woman has whispered to her spirit where she shall find these things�
�is she fit to rule over us with all the authority of the High Matriarch?"
Vaniya said quietly, "If you will listen to me, my sister, you will see that I made no such claim. I have no notion whether the spirit of Mother Rezali survives anywhere in this world or any other. I simply state that I hold in my hand the authentic ring and robe of the Mother Rezali, and by the custom and tradition of the Matriarchate which we are all here to uphold, the power of the High Matriarch descends to me. I do not really see that there is any further room for debate."
Mahala said, her narrow face flushing, "How came Vaniya by these tokens?"
Vaniya said, "I am not required by custom or tradition to explain this, only to satisfy the Council that they are authentic."
"No," said Mahala angrily, "I question this whole matter. Why should possession of the tokens of the High Matriarch prove that Vaniya would make a better High Matriarch than I? I submit that the Council should settle this matter without reference to this trash!" Angrily she flung the ring across the room, tried to throw the robe after it; it came unfolded and flopped awkwardly into the center of the room, where it lay in a crumpled heap.
Vaniya said quietly, "We have chosen our High Matriarch in this manner for a long time, Mahala, and I for one do not propose to change it. If you had found the true tokens I would willingly have accepted your rule."
"That," said Mahala, harshly, "is because you are a superstitious fool. Why do you think I tried to counterfeit the ridiculous trash? Because it would have saved trouble and given you all—"She flashed a quick look all round the circle of elders, "a chance to accept me because you believed me superior. I demand now that the Council choose which one of us is best fitted to rule over Isis in the place of Mother Rezali, and let us hear no more of spirits and clairvoyants and ghostly counsel!"
Bradley, Marion Zimmer - Novel 19 Page 22