I sucked in a breath.
“And what was the history of the first generation?”
“Her father was taken six times. He was a promising specimen, but his researcher lost contact somehow. He is presumed dead.”
Dead?
I focused on the rise and fall of my chest, trying not to scream as Micah’s words crashed over me. I finally knew who was responsible for my father’s disappearance, or at least for the insanity that led to it.
Micah had known all along.
Chapter 19
“I know you have not yet prepared your findings,” Teavers said, his pitch high with what sounded like excitement, “but a second generation specimen is often considered for the production of a hybrid. Do you see that as a possibility for this specimen in the near future?”
I’d thought I’d hit my lowest point, but this new information sent a wave of nausea through me. I’d seen enough tabloid covers with half-alien babies. Even after setting foot on a real space ship, those stories had seemed like the ramblings of insane people.
I remembered the darkness on Micah’s face when he’d talked about what was to come. I finally understood why. I’d spent so much time worrying about whether this was real, all the while avoiding putting too much thought into what would happen to me if it were. It was all feeling very real now. I didn’t know how much longer I could lie here and pretend to be in a manipulated state of calm.
Micah’s voice finally cut through the chaos in my mind. “That has yet to be determined.”
“Mmm,” Teavers said, sounding disappointed. “I know that you are excited to finally have clearance for experimentation, but do not neglect to conduct the standard tests. Or perhaps you are letting your weaknesses prevent you from reaching your potential.”
“No, sir.”
“Remember that although we have much to gain from studying the potential of the human mind, they have not come close to reaching the level of a higher mind such as ours. Their individual value is little more than an insect you might pull off the sole of your shoe. They breed with as little thought as the mindless creatures they consume, and this human’s small role in our work will do nothing worse than make her insignificant life worth living.”
I tightened my fists, trying to contain the rage that coursed through me. It was easy to see where Micah’s sense of superiority came from.
“I regret to inform you all that we must return to our regular studies,” Teavers said. There were sounds of disappointment at his words. “Micah, I will be back to check on your progress. You may instruct your specimen to change and return her to her dwelling.”
I heard footsteps as they shuffled out of the room. Then it was quiet. I opened my eyes. Micah’s breath hitched, and he stepped back. His face was etched with fear or pain or concern, something intended to make me feel like he cared, no doubt. I wasn’t falling for it.
I stood up and walked on shaky legs to where I’d left my clothes. I felt almost numb as I changed and faced Micah again. I gathered up enough courage to stare him in the eyes, unflinching, as I wadded up my gown and shoved it in his hands.
He dropped his head and turned. I followed him out into the corridor.
I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked next to him, tears stinging the corners of my eyes. The ship looked so hard and cold, more frightening than it ever had. I clenched my jaw, determined not to cry here.
“I’m sorry,” he said, as I stood ready for my descent.
I glared at him. “For which part? Pretending you cared about me?” I scraped my teeth against my lip, wanting to remove every cell that had touched him. “For letting those creatures poke and prod at me like I was an exhibit? Or maybe for not telling me that I’m about to become a human test tube for alien freak-babies? Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but on Earth we do things a little differently. I won’t bore you with the details, but it involves dating and a ring and mutual consent.”
He flinched, and it gave me a small amount of satisfaction.
“How about for not telling me about my father? You knew he was dead! You knew what happened to him. Your people destroyed my family. You’re not sorry, as long as you get what you want.”
“I wanted to tell you. I didn’t know how. Lexi, I didn’t know this would happen,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
“What did you think was going to happen?”
He just stared at me, like he didn’t have an answer.
“That’s what I thought. It was always going to go this way. You’re the guy who falls in line and does what he’s told,” I said.
That was giving him the benefit of the doubt, and assuming he wasn’t brave enough to stand up for me. The other scenario was that he’d lied to me from the first time I’d met him, all for the sake of his research.
“I never lied to you about why you were here.”
“You didn’t really tell me the truth, either,” I said, shuddering at the memory of what I’d heard.
Micah straightened. His jaw tightened and his eyes turned hard. “What good would it have done? The moment I picked you up I assumed your fate was sealed, and mine as well. I could see no way out.”
His words wrapped around my throat until I gasped for breath. Perhaps I’d seen the real Micah for the first time, a cold, emotionless drone. “Doesn’t it bother you that you’re about to become a lab rat too? You said so yourself. Your superiors won’t hesitate to put you under the microscope.”
“I would sacrifice whatever is required for my people.”
“Including me.”
“No. Not you. I meant what I said.”
“That no one would hurt me?” A hot tear slipped down my cheek, and I quickly scrubbed it off. “You’ve already broken that promise. Now let me out of here.”
Micah’s shoulders slumped. He called out a command and stood watching as I sunk out of sight.
This time I closed my eyes tightly as I descended, feeling like my body couldn’t take any more trauma. Touching nothing, floating all alone above the Earth, I wished for the invasion of the mind-altered calm, but Micah had been honorable about one thing—my request to feel all the pain and fear my heart desired.
I reached the ground and crumpled up into a ball, grabbing fists full of grass. Everything hurt, like I was one big bruise. I dragged myself to the front steps and pulled my knees to my chest.
Behind the front door there were people who cared about me, but not one of them would understand what I was going through. They’d think I was crazy. If only my dad were here. If only he’d told me the truth.
A memory crashed down on me, one I’d tucked away a long time ago. My dad and I were at the drug store, picking up zinc, which was the only thing he’d take for a cold after he’d stopped trusting drug companies. I’d stopped to talk to a friend when the pharmacist asked him if he was interested in a flu shot.
“Do any of you even know what’s in those vaccines?” He’d looked around, wide-eyed, his voice filling the store. I’d stood there, mortified, while my friend covered a smile with her sleeve. “Just stick out your arm and let them inject you with whatever they please. Maybe it’s the government, maybe it’s someone else. Could be a species from another planet, for all we know. You think I’m crazy, but they’re here!”
I’d stood there looking at him with pleading eyes. Embarrassed eyes.
How could I have forgotten about that? He’d been through everything I had—probably more—and he’d done it all alone.
A wave of anger pushed away the guilt. How could he run away and leave us like that, with only a few tricks and the advice to run fast if they ever came for us?
Us.
With my elevated status as a specimen, would they come for Cody?
I stood up, my stomach lurching as I threw up into the bushes.
A hand touched my shoulder, and I jumped.
“It’s okay, Lexi, it’s just us,” Austin said. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
I turned around, a
nd relief flooded me at the sight of Austin and Kaela.
“Oh, you look ...” Kaela’s face brightened, but in a forced way. “It’s going to be okay.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket and started texting.
“I guess you were out sleepwalking? Vandalizing the neighborhood?” Austin asked, his face tense.
“I’m so sorry we failed you as friends,” Kaela said. She put her phone away before wrapping her arms around me. “We were out cold until Austin’s mom texted wondering where he was.”
I straightened. I was so tired of lying. I finally understood how much danger I was in, and I needed people I could trust.
“I wasn’t sleepwalking,” I said.
“What?” Kaela’s face went blank.
“I went outside of my own free will. I’ve been meeting Micah Noble.”
“In the middle of the night?” Austin looked at me like I’d turned into an unidentified substance under his microscope in biology. I cringed. I’d been examined enough for one night.
“Yeah. It’s not what you think.” I paused, shivering. After what I’d just heard, I wasn’t even sure that was true. At the very least, I was intended to be a test tube of some sort, but I couldn’t tell them that. I couldn’t say that out loud if I wanted to. “That’s why I wanted you guys here tonight. I needed, like, an intervention or something. You might say he gets in my head.”
Kaela’s eyes widened. “Woah, I’m not even going to get into the fact that you’ve been hiding that from me for who knows how long. What kind of twisted relationship is this, that he wants to meet you at night and barely talks to you at school?” She jutted her jaw out. “You scared us all to death. You have no idea how freaked out we’ve been, looking for you. Austin’s grounded, actually. His mom didn’t believe we had to go looking for a sleepwalker.”
“I’m sorry.” She was right. I hadn’t even thought about them when I walked out the door.
Kaela’s expression softened. “He didn’t ... do anything to you? I mean, are you okay?”
Austin straightened, looking even taller than usual, and his jaw muscles tensed, as if he was waiting for his cue to find Micah and make him pay. I’d never seen Austin as a force to be reckoned with, but maybe I’d underestimated him.
“No, I told you, it’s not like that.”
“So what’s it like?” Kaela sounded like she was losing patience. “A late night study group for speech?”
I opened my mouth, trying to form the words “I was in France.” There was no way they’d believe me.
Austin nodded. “Okay. Hope you’re feeling better. I gotta get home. Let me know when you’re ready to level with me. I’ll be locked up in my room.” He hung his head and loped to his car.
“Wait up, Austin, I need a ride,” Kaela called, before staring me down. “He’s right. Something’s not right here, and if you can’t be honest with us, we can’t help you.”
“Kaela, I don’t need a shrink,” I said, my voice rising. “I’m not crazy! I just need a friend.”
“I’m not so sure anymore. Honestly, you haven’t been yourself since that thing with the mice. And has it ever occurred to you that I could use a friend, too?”
Before I could respond my mom’s car barreled into the driveway.
“Crap. Why is my mom here?”
“She’s been out looking for you. We had to tell her you were missing,” Kaela said. “I just texted her to let her know you were safe.”
“You ratted me out?”
“Yeah,” she said, her tone unapologetic. “As far as we knew, you could have been dying in a ditch somewhere.”
I shot her a dirty look.
“I’d rather lose you as a friend than lose you altogether.” She turned and walked away.
My mom scurried out of the car and ran to me. She threw her arms around me, sobbing. Then she stepped back, dabbing her big blue eyes with her sleeve.
“Go into the house,” she said quietly. “We’ll talk in the morning.”
Chapter 20
Cody looked up at me from the living room couch when I walked in. His red-rimmed eyes filled with relief for a moment before he looked away, his lip trembling. He looked down at the floor.
It was hard to face him, knowing I’d hurt him. What I’d just learned made it even harder. Dad wasn’t coming back. Ever. Would it be best to tell him or keep it a secret? It didn’t matter anyway. I couldn’t explain how I knew. I ached, feeling again how hopeless Dad must have felt.
“I’m sorry, buddy.” He didn’t pull away when I sat down and gave him a hug, but he didn’t say anything, either. Not that I blamed him. I was supposed to be helping him feel safe, and all I did these days was worry him. The worst part was I couldn’t make any promises. Most likely, things were only going to get worse.
“I’m sorry I let you down. I’m going to do my best to be here for you.” I blinked back tears, thinking about how Cody would feel if I disappeared like Dad. “But whatever happens, remember I love you.”
“You sound just like him,” Cody murmured.
I stood up and slipped down the hall to go to my room, but when I passed Cody’s door I stopped. I turned back and stepped inside. As my eyes travelled over the green and silver papered walls, I realized I’d never asked him what inspired this project. Why hadn’t I asked? Maybe I didn’t want to know.
My chest tightened, and I held back a sob as Cody came in behind me.
“It’s almost finished,” he said.
“Cody,” I said, trying to keep it together, “why did you do this?”
“Dad said it was the only way to keep them out of your head.”
“Who?” I asked, dreading the answer I already knew.
Cody shrugged and looked down at the floor. “If you’d listened to him you would know. He wasn’t—what they said he was.”
I nodded. I put a hand out to fuzz Cody’s hair but stopped, giving it a soft pat instead. I turned and went to my room, locking the door behind me, and dropped to the floor, covering my face with my hands.
I pulled my phone out, wincing at the sixteen unread text messages from my mom, Kaela, and Austin. I pulled up the contact info Foilhatgirl had sent me. She was the only one I could talk to.
I don’t even know where to start. Apparently I’m top notch abductee material. Should I feel flattered?
My heart was trying to beat its way out of my chest and my fingers were shaking, putting auto-correct into over-drive. There was no way I could explain everything. Even if I could, it would hurt too much. I took a deep breath and tried texting again.
Have you ever heard of humans doing weird things, like with their minds? I know it’s stupid. I’ve just taken in a lot of information, possibly including a key part of the alien master plan. Trying to sort the lies from the truths. But the biggest bomb they dropped was about my dad. He was chosen too.
I stared at my phone, waiting for wisdom to come to me in the form of a text message. Now would be the perfect time for Foilhatgirl to unleash the big secret she’d been working on.
Nothing came. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, seeing as it was the middle of the night. I’d just hoped she was the kind of committed individual who would be on call for any and all alien-related discussions. But for all I knew she could be lying to me too. She could be a forty-year-old man in the guise of a nerdy chick, or someone just sitting around laughing at the crazies.
Well, I wasn’t going to sit around and wait to be beamed up again. I could run, but they had a tracker in me, and I didn’t dare try to take it out without more information. According to the guy at Mick’s it was pointless. There had to be something I could do, or someone who could help me. My eyes wandered to the window, where I’d seen the big SUV parked off and on for the last several days.
This woman-in-black type gave me her card. I’m pretty sure she’s some kind of alien researcher. Maybe she can tell me something.
I was still shaking. If I was going to continue this evening of questionable choices I
would need some form of nourishment. I rifled through my backpack and pulled out a protein bar. It took me about ten seconds to chomp it down, but a couple of minutes of standing still and hoping it stayed down.
Satisfied I wasn’t going to upchuck again, I grabbed my hoodie and car keys, then opened the window. I paused, looking back at Twitchy’s tank. What if I didn’t come back? Even if I did, there was a good chance things were going to go wrong at some point. It wasn’t right for her to live trapped like this, anyway. I hurried over and plucked her out. Then I climbed out the window and dropped to the ground. I pulled it closed behind me and left Twitchy near the bushes, scurrying around like she didn’t know what to do.
“Good luck,” I said, wishing she could offer me the same sentiment.
I scanned the street, just in case the big black SUV had come back. Of course nothing was going to be that easy tonight. I sprinted to my van, glancing back at the house as I ran. My stomach churned as I thought of my mom, already beside herself because of what I’d done. I’d hurt her, and I’d been stupid. Still, I wondered if things would have been any different if I hadn’t been curious, or enamored with Micah.
Thinking his name made me nauseated all over again, especially when it came with a flashback of the cold ship, the white lights, and the sheen of alien skin and pale, oversized eyes. I had a feeling that when an alien had enlisted you in his cause, you didn’t have the option of saying no thanks.
I dropped my forehead against the van, wracking my brain for options. Telling the truth came to mind. But there was no way anyone would believe me. That would be my fastest route to Canyon Ridge Facility for the Mentally Ill. I’d still be breaking my mom’s heart, just in a different way.
I unlocked the door and reached into the crap compartment, pulling out the bent-up business card. I took a picture of it and sent it to Foilhatgirl, hoping she might have some information about these people. Then I slumped into the driver’s seat and dialed Reesa Warner’s number.
A creaky voice answered the phone. Why hadn’t it occurred to me that Reesa Warner probably had a normal, human, sleeping schedule? I lowered the phone, my finger hesitating over the end call button.
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