Miss Maggie would keep me company.
I ran to the apartment door shoved my feet in my chucks and grabbed my keys. The door slammed shut behind me but I didn’t care, I had someone to speak to!
I raced down the hall, knocked on the door and then pushed it open.
“It’s only me, Miss Maggie!”
“Oh hi, dear,” she said when I rushed into the living room and planted a kiss on her cheek.
I was full of excitement, I never got to talk to Miss Maggie on her own. I always had to watch what I was saying because of little ears. But now I could say anything that I wanted, not that it would be much, all I had to talk about was Eli.
“Tea?” I asked.
“That would be lovely.”
My feet moved quickly, I willed the water to boil quicker, I couldn’t wait to talk to someone.
“How’s your day going, dear?” Miss Maggie shouted into the kitchen. I poured the water, then went back into the living room.
“I’m so bored,” I huffed.
“I bet.” She took the cup from my hand as I sat down. Henry hissed at me but I smiled wide at him, I was even glad to see a cat that hated me.
“I didn’t realize how much everything revolved around Eli.” I wrinkled my nose as I took a sip of the tea. “Now that he’s at preschool, I’ve got nothing to do.”
“What about that job?”
I shifted in my seat. How was I going to say that Max didn’t want me to work? That my place was at home? The more I thought about it the more I realized how old fashioned it was.
Sure, that choice suited some people; those who had other moms as friends that would meet up and let all their children play together. But we never had that, Max didn’t want us to be judged. I understood, as a teen mom I knew what people thought, it was written across their faces.
But now it was different, I was older and I needed to get out of that apartment, for my own sanity. Being shut inside on my own all day wasn’t good for me.
“Max doesn’t really want me to work, he’d rather I stayed at home.” Miss Maggie’s brow lifted as she studied me for several minutes. I shifted in my seat waiting for whatever she would say.
“And what do you want, dear?” It sounded so foreign, to be asked what I wanted. I didn’t have to think about it because I knew what I wanted, there was no question about it.
“I want to work,” I said with a firm nod.
I had thought that if I tried to talk to Max about it, and he said no, I would be able to put the thought out of my mind. But I couldn’t. If anything, it made me want it more.
I wanted to be around other people, I wanted to keep busy. I wanted more, more than what my life had become. I didn’t want to sit at home all day waiting for Eli and Max.
I hadn’t been able to throw the number away, the small piece of paper still sat safely in my pocket.
“You sound pretty sure.”
“I am.” I was.
I hadn’t been this sure about anything since I found out I was pregnant. Several people had given me options. Abortion. Adoption. But I knew from the time that I saw that plus sign that I wanted to keep my baby. I had made my decision before I’d even talked to Max. I never expected anything from him. I thought he would walk away, but when my dad kicked me out he was there for me. He made sure that I had somewhere safe to stay.
“I think you know what to do, dear” She sipped at her tea. I furrowed my brow.
How would I be able to work when Max had said that I couldn’t? The only way that I’d be able to do that was to keep it a secret from him. Would I be able to do that?
It felt wrong to go behind his back, but it was the only way that I could see how this would work.
One thing I was sure of was that I had to try.
I jumped up startling Henry who hissed at me again. Miss Maggie smiled, she knew what I was going to do without me saying a word.
“Thanks, Miss Maggie.” I kissed her cheek and rushed back to my apartment.
A quick check of the time told me that I had enough time to call the number. I pulled the crumpled bit of paper out and punched the numbers into my phone before I could change my mind. I paced the small space in the kitchen as I bit the side of my thumb.
It rang twice before the line connected.
“Yo.” I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.
“Hellloooo?”
“Uh, hi?” I croaked, I cleared my throat and tried again. “I was told that there’s an office job and was given this number,” I blurted out.
“Thank god!” the deep voice said. I raised my eyebrows and felt the corners of my mouth lift.
“Can you answer a phone?” he said in a serious tone.
“Uh, yes.”
“Here’s the big question.” Two beats of silence and then, “Can you operate a computer?”
“Yes,” I said, more sure of myself.
“Fantastic!” There was a loud noise in the background, much like the sound of someone who clapped their hands.
“Come in tomorrow for an interview with the boss.”
“Tomorrow?”
I waited for him to say something else, but all I heard was shuffling on the other end.
“Hello?”
“Shit, sorry. Yeah tomorrow. That good?”
“Err…sure.” I hesitated, was it too soon? Was I doing the right thing?
He rattled off the address and then told me to be there at ten.
“Don’t you need my name?” I asked.
“Oh yeah.” He chuckled
I laughed. “Okay, well my name is Kaylee.” I purposely left out my surname, I didn’t want to get this job because of Corey, I wanted to do it on my own merit.
“See you tomorrow.”
“Bye,” I said and pressed the end call button.
My stomach dipped. I had an interview for a job.
I jumped up and down.
I was getting a job! Well, I had to have the interview first.
It may have been a small thing, but to me it meant much more than I could explain.
*~*~*
I was so nervous that night that I was oblivious to anything that was going on. I’d put Eli to bed and was now sitting in the kitchen. He kept my mind occupied from the time I had picked him up from preschool. But now that he was in bed, my mind ran rampant. I’d been so focused on whether I should phone the number that I had forgot I’d have to have an interview.
Max wasn’t home yet, normally I would be focused on what I had to have ready for when he walked in the door but today my mind was elsewhere.
What would I wear? I owned the bare minimum of clothes, I wasn’t sure I had anything that would be suitable.
Maybe I wouldn’t go.
If I went then I would be around people that I didn’t even know. I just couldn’t decide whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.
No. I needed to do this.
I jumped out of my skin when the apartment door slammed shut. I heard a thump on the wall and then he muttered something unintelligible.
“Where’s my woman?” he shouted.
“I’m in here, Max,” I said with a huff.
He pushed open the kitchen door and grinned at me. I knew that look, it almost always meant that he wanted to get laid. I’d have to lay there while he got off and I would disappear to my happy place. The upside was that he touched me in a gentle way, it was one of the few times that he would touch me like that.
But there were times he wasn’t gentle, it was those times I dreaded.
He stumbled forward, leaned against the kitchen counter and opened his arms.
“Aaah, come here, baby.” I stood and went to him, this was a delicate situation and I had to tread carefully. He reeked of beer and smoke.
His rough hands pulled me to him, grabbed the sides of my face and crushed his lips against mine. The taste was even worse, the stale beer mixed with mint that he used to mask the smell made me heave.
I tried to pull away, but each time he would ho
ld me tighter while he crushed me to his body. I needed to breathe clean air, the smell and taste was too much. His hands started to wonder down then landed on my butt. He pulled me even closer, I could feel his erection through his jeans as his fingers dug into the soft flesh, sure to leave bruises.
I gasped when he let me up for air, stepping back I moved out of his hold.
“Come ‘ere baby.” I moved further back, intent on warming up his dinner.
He tried to take a step forward, but just ended up slumped back against the counter. His face turned red, his fists clenched.
“Now!” he sneered.
“I’ll warm your dinner,” I said softly.
“I don’t want no fuckin’ dinner.” He adjusted himself. “I want you. Here.” He pointed to his erection.
I hesitated, just long enough for him to see. He narrowed his eyes at me, the air becoming thick with tension. I should have just gone to him.
Maybe he was right? I never did learn.
He shook his head, his green eyes darkening.
“You’ll never learn will you?” He didn’t slur this time. I furrowed my brow, he sounded a lot less drunk than he had only minutes ago.
“I just wanted to warm your dinner,” I said in a small voice.
He shot forward, his hands wrapped around the top of my arms as he pulled me up to his face, my feet off the floor.
“When I say jump. You say?”
I winced at the grip that he had on my arms, he squeezed tighter when I didn’t answer him.
“How high?” I squeaked.
“That’s right.” He smirked, I hated that smirk.
“I..I..I’m sorry, Max.” I willed the tears to stay back.
He gripped my arms even harder, this time I squealed. I was sure that he’d break my arms, I could hardly breathe through the pain. He made a noise in the back of his throat, closed his eyes and tilted his head back.
He enjoyed this, I was sure he waited until I cried out in pain.
I knew better than to struggle so instead I kept still, biting my lip to take my mind off the pain in my arms.
“I’m feeling in a good mood,” he said then opened his eyes. “I’ll let you make it up to me.”
“Okay,” I whispered, all I wanted was for him to let me go.
“But…” He bought his face down, his nose touching mine. “This is the only time that I’m going to let you do this.”
I nodded and breathed a sigh of relief when he let my arms go. It never helped with the pain but I still rubbed them, an automatic response. I’d have bruises in the shape of his fingers in the morning.
“Next time you won’t be so lucky,” he gritted out.
I looked down at the floor. He liked it when I did that, I had to diffuse this situation. It could get much worse than it already had, a fine line sat between when he was annoyed or when he was angry.
This was annoyed Max.
I didn’t want angry Max.
I’d encountered him a couple of times, each time worse than the one before. I didn’t want to think about the next time.
“Good girl,” he murmured, his hand cupping the side of my face softly.
I saw movement out the corner of my eye, watching as he undid his belt. I flinched at the sound of the metal buckle. His grease stained fingers undid the buttons of his jeans.
“Get on your knees.”
This was the worst. I would have preferred him to hit me rather than having to do this. By the end of the night my throat would be sore and I’d most likely bring up any food I had eaten that day.
I’d also have to be extra careful when I washed my hair, and I’d also have to wear my hair down because my scalp would be sore from where he would yank on my hair.
I took a deep breath then got down onto my knees.
My eyes closed of their own accord. I was halfway to my happy place when his hand wove through my hair and pulled. I wouldn’t be seeing that tonight; I’d have to endure every minute of it.
At least I wasn’t thinking about my interview tomorrow.
The only silver lining on this dark cloud of a night.
*~*~*
When I woke the next morning, the bed was empty and Max was gone. I rubbed my eyes, I’d definitely have bags under my eyes, just what I needed for today.
He’d kept me up most of the night, letting me make it up to him. I’d thought that I would be done after the kitchen incident, but I was wrong. At some stage, I’d gone to my happy place and hadn’t come back until he rolled away from me and filled the room with his snores.
I needed a shower and a cup of coffee before I even entertained the thought of what I had to do today.
I stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom, stood in the shower then turned the knob. I kept my feet planted to the bottom of the tub and let the cold water prickle against my skin. All the dirt and grime from last night swirled down the drain. I wished that it could take away my memories too.
Dark purple, finger shaped, bruises wrapped round my arms, the skin so tender and sore. Just lifting my arms to wash my hair took all my effort.
My scalp burned from where Max had gripped my hair, he liked to do that. Lead me wherever he wanted to take me.
I wasn’t in the best shape to go to an interview, but if one thing was clear, it was that I needed to get out of here, even if only for a couple of hours a day.
The walls were closing in on me, I had to have something just for me.
I finished up in the bathroom and went into the bedroom, it had once been a savior from all the other rooms in the house. Nothing ever happened in this room, nothing bad anyway. The only time Max ever came in here was to get clothes or to sleep in the bed on the odd occasion. He’d taken to sleeping on the couch for the last couple of months.
He had never hurt me in this room. That changed last night.
I grabbed some clothes, threw them on and went through the next hour on autopilot. I gave Eli his breakfast, got him ready and dropped him off at Pre-school.
Before I knew it, I stood in the doorway to the bedroom again. It looked so different from what it did just yesterday, I may as well have been looking inside a stranger’s room.
The metal bed that sat in the middle was covered in a mess of sheets, a glass of water sat on the bedside table that had once been a stool. I didn’t recognize it, it looked so…different.
The walls somehow seemed darker, the room smaller. I crinkled my nose at the smell of sweat and grease that permeated from everything. I opened the window as far as it would go and stood back.
This wasn’t how things were meant to be, life wasn’t meant to be this hard. I didn’t know a lot about relationships, I’d only been around my mother and father for the first seven years of my life. But I do know that it wasn’t meant to be like this.
How had I let things get this bad?
I closed my eyes and remembered the way my mom would smile when my dad walked in from work, how she would close her eyes when he kissed her cheek and burrow into his chest as his arms wrapped around her.
It was a happy home. That much I do remember. I would rush home from school every Friday knowing that we would bake cookies. It was time that I got to spend with mom on my own. She always made sure that me and Corey had time with just her or dad.
Dad always took me into the woods on mini adventures, we’d pack a bag then explore for the whole day. Once we even camped in the woods.
I never knew what they did with Corey. Whatever adventure we had been on, I was meant to keep it a secret, but I was never good at that. Corey could get it out of me within minutes of us walking back in the door.
Everything changed when mom was diagnosed with cancer, it was worse than all the doctors had thought. We only had seven of the twelve months that they predicted. But those seven months were full of memories, good and bad.
I shook the past from my head, pulled my cell from my pocket and checked the time. I had ten minutes before I needed to leave. I headed straight for the wa
rdrobe and picked the best skirt and top out that I owned. It was a simple blue stretchy pencil skirt paired with a vest top that I would tuck in to look more professional.
That’s where it stopped, I had no other shoes apart from my black chucks so I shoved my feet in them and slipped my arms into my light gray cardigan to cover the bruises.
I stared at my reflection with indifference, the girl who stared back wasn’t who I remembered. My dark brown hair was tamed into submission, still damp but not the frizz ball that it would become once it was dry.
My face was clean of makeup, that’s how I liked it. I could never do all that fancy shading on my eyes and my eyeliner would always end up with a wobble in the middle.
I leaned forward, popped my eyes wide and stared. My dark blue eyes were dull, the white that surrounded them bloodshot. I took a deep breath and collected my things. Locking the door behind me I noticed Miss Maggie standing in the doorway to her apartment.
“Oh, hey, Miss Maggie.” I pulled my bag over my shoulder.
“You off anywhere nice?”
“For the interview.” I looked down, my eyes refused to meet hers. I was sure that she’d be able to see all the things that I did last night written across my face. The thought of Miss Maggie knowing made me feel sick.
I wasn’t a prude in any way, but some of the things that Max had me do made me feel ashamed. It was for an easy life that I did as he said, which made it even worse because I hadn’t put up a fight. I’d just gone along with everything.
That made me as bad as he was.
“Good Luck,” she said in a sing song voice.
“Thanks.” I waved and rushed down the stairs.
Chapter Four
I pulled up in front of the large metal gates, pressed the button on the little speaker box and waited. Looking around outside the car while I waited, I noticed an eight-foot fence lined as far as I could see. It was the most secure place that I had ever seen.
“Yeah?” A voice boomed through the speaker.
I cleared my throat and leaned closer to the speaker box. “Hi, I’m Kaylee. I’m here for the interview.” I was proud that my voice hadn’t shaken once, my hands had started to shake half way there. I was glad it was only a twenty-minute drive, any longer and I would have had to pull over to get myself together.
Fractured Lies: Book 1 MAC Security Series Page 3