“But-”
“Your face resembles a punching bag and you can hardly move,” he raised his brows.
I guess that it might not have been a good idea for me to take Eli, not in the state I was in anyway.
“It’s only ever been me.” I croaked.
“What has?” he asked his hand cupping the side of my face, I leaned into it without even realizing.
“That’s taken him to preschool, I did everything. I’m not used to all of this.” I waved my hand round.
“All of what?”
“This….this help.” I huffed.
“Well get used to it sweetheart,” he smiled.
I searched his eyes, what I was looking for I didn’t know. But there was something there that told me to trust him.
“Okay” I slumped into him.
His arms came around me, my head leaning on his chest, I listened to the steady beat of his heart.
“I’m here now,” he whispered “You’re safe.”
Safe.
One simple word, but it meant so much to me.
A warm feeling settled into the pit of my stomach as he held me. I didn’t want to think about what it meant but I felt safe in the knowledge that Max couldn’t get us here.
“Luke will check you over when we get back” he said when he pulled away.
“What about Eli?” I panicked. “What if-”
“Kitty’s stayin’ there,” he said as he walked toward the door with a wink he pulled the door open and left.
Chapter Seventeen
“It’s healing nicely,” Luke said as he covered my leg up the next day.
I’d slept most of yesterday, I’d obviously needed it because I felt much better today. Feeling some semblance of normal I even put on some makeup to try cover the bruising, it helped a little but didn’t cover it completely you could still tell I had a black eye but it helped me feel better when I looked in the mirror.
“How long until the stitches can be removed?” I asked as he helped me sit up on the bed.
“Soon,” he said not giving me an exact time frame.
He gave me an amused look when I groaned. The difference between the Luke that I first met, to the Luke that I know now was astounding. There was still a darkness to him that I could identify with, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
His eyes were haunted.
“Luke?”
“Yeah?” he packed up his kit, not looking at me.
I waited. Chewing on my lip while debating whether I should say anything. Stopping what he was doing he flicked his eyes to mine.
“Do you think Eli will be okay?”
Zipping up his bag he narrowed eyes at me, the same look that he used to give me, only now I knew that he was assessing me. His gaze causing me to squirm.
Seeing what he must have been searching for he slumped onto the edge of the bed.
“Yeah, he’ll be fine,” he dipped his head.
I shifted on the bed and couldn’t stop the next words that came out.
“Are you speaking from experience?” I whispered.
He took an unsteady breath and looked up at me.
I stared into his ice blue eyes, not daring to move an inch. I waited for him, and saw his shields as they lowered letting me see all of his pain.
“Yeah,” he croaked.
I blinked, I hadn’t expected him to answer.
“My dad,” he said and looked at the half open door. Whether to see if anyone was listening or because he couldn’t look at me I didn’t know.
“You don’t have to tell me.” I whispered.
Shaking his head he continued “Every night, He’d come home and find some excuse to hurt her” he said in a haunted voice.
Not knowing what to say I kept my mouth shut and let him carry on, he was somewhere else so I doubted he’d hear me anyway.
“Nothin’ she did was ever right.” He turned, his eyes full of sadness and anger.
“I couldn’t help her” he choked out.
I moved closer placing my hand on his arm I squeezed reassuringly. There was nothing that I could say that would make a difference, but sometimes all you needed was to get it out into the open. To get it out of your system. It was funny because even though I knew this I still hadn’t told anyone what had happened that night. Maybe that would help my nightmares?
“I can still hear her screams. Every night she’d beg him to stop.”
“Luke-”
“I had to stop him” he said hauntingly. “He wouldn’t stop”
His arm was so tense, it was like touching a rock.
“I-”
“It’s oka.y” I whispered.
He startled, as if he didn’t realize that I was still there then flung himself up off the bed and stood frozen to the spot.
“He never saw anything.” I whispered.
“What-”
“Eli,” I met his eyes “I made sure he never saw anything.”
He laughed, his whole body shaking from the force.
“Kay,” he smirked “If you think that he didn’t know what was going on then-”
“He didn’t.” I gritted my teeth, sure he saw some bruises but I could have gotten them from anywhere.
“Darlin’ he saw your black eye and didn’t even question it. He hasn’t even asked about his dad.”
“But-”
“You did the right thing,” I narrowed my eyes at him “Leavin’ him.”
“Did I?”
I couldn’t look at him. Knowing he had been in the same position as Eli, he knew what went on in a home like ours which freaked me out.
Max’s face flashed through my mind, it was always the same image; him standing above me with that knife.
Did I do the right thing? I’d caused this in the first place, had I not wanted to get a job he never would have flipped out like that. At least that’s what I told myself.
Maybe it would have been better to stay and live like that if it kept Eli safe. We were protected here, but we couldn’t stay in the compound forever, I’d have to go back out of those gates at some stage and the thought terrified me.
“Yeah,” Luke sat back down “You did.” I searched his eyes.
His swirled with so many emotions that it was hard to pinpoint one.
“Mama!” Eli shouted as he came through the front door, I watched as Luke put his walls back up. It amazed me how well he could do that.
“I’m up here sweetie.” We listened as they stomped up the stairs, neither of us saying another word.
“We went to the woods!” Eli bounded into the room with a face covered in mud.
“Really?”
“Yeah! It was so much fun.” His face was taken over by his toothy grin. “We played hide and seek!”
I smiled at him “Did you find Ty?”
“Yeah!” he snorted. “Of course I did!”
Ty stood against the door watching me his bulging arms crossed and his beanie on his head.
“He cheated.” Ty shook his head.
“Did not!” Eli put his hands on his hips and spun round.
“Ye-”
“Right,” Luke clapped his hands and stood “Who wants to watch a movie?”
“I do!” Eli jumped up and down.
“Come on then,” Luke waved his arm and walked toward the door. “You good?” he asked.
“Sure,” I nodded and moved my eyes to Ty who was frowning at him “Thanks Luke” he left the room with Eli on his tail.
I cleared my throat and pushed up off the bed. I made it half way off the bed before Ty’s hands gripped my hips to help me up.
“I can-”
“I know,” he whispered, his breath fanning across my neck made me shiver.
“How is everything looking?”
“Yeah. Good.” I cleared my throat, his hands burned through my clothing, closing my eyes I could almost feel his hands on my bare skin.
“Sweetheart” he murmured I opened my eyes and tipped my head back, his
hooded eyes calling to me. I leaned into him.
“Ty-”
“Come on Mama!” Eli shouted from downstairs.
Ty’s eyes widened as he shot away from me his head whipping to the door and back. I patted him on the shoulder as I walked past laughing at the awkwardness on his face.
“It’s not funny,” he followed me out.
“Sure.” I croaked and started down the stairs. He humphed, which only made me laugh harder.
*~*~*
“I’ll be out all day” Ty said as he pulled his coat on. “Luke will be with Eli.”
“Okay,” I nodded and kissed Eli’s cheek. He’d been back at preschool for a few days now and I still hadn’t taken him. My eye wasn’t healed yet and although I could cover most of it with makeup, I couldn’t bring myself to go out of the gates. The more time I spent inside the compound the more I didn’t want to leave.
“Love you sweetie.”
“Love you.” Eli ran out of the door and straight to Luke who was waiting by the car.
“Kitty and Evan will be over later,” he pulled his beanie on and took Eli’s bag from me.
“Okay.” I swallowed.
Ty hesitated, opening his mouth several times, he finally closed it and shook his head and leaned forward. Placing a kiss on the top of my head had become his thing to do before he left. Leaning against the door frame I watched him get into the car and waved as they drove to the gates.
I’d grown comfortable in this bubble, no one could get in or out without any of us knowing. The compound had become my crutch, I was terrified of going outside those gates, I didn’t think anyone knew that. I hoped they just thought that I needed time to heal, physically.
I felt sick just thinking about going out of those gates.
This place felt like home, I kept reminding myself not to get too comfortable because we wouldn’t be able to stay here forever. I’d need to leave at some point.
But staring at those big gates and imagining walking through them sent chills down my spine.
I leaned against the open door and yawned. Last night was the first night that I had slept alone, although not much sleeping had taken place. Ty thought that I slept with Eli because he didn’t want to be alone, but it was me who didn’t want to be alone.
I couldn’t bear to see those images when I closed my eyes so instead I stayed awake and stared at the walls.
Nobody had mentioned Max, not even Eli. I was sure that he would have asked what was going on but he just got on with things. In fact, he was happier than I had ever seen him. Ty hadn’t pushed for any more information since Charlie had left last week. I could still see the questions in his eyes every time he looked at me, but not once did he ask, I was grateful for that.
I jumped, a noise startling me and turned to where it came from. I gasped and rushed back into the house when I saw Evan leaving his cabin.
I hadn’t seen him since I freaked out on him last week. I couldn’t stay away from him much longer, I mean we worked together and right now we lived on the same compound so I’d have to face him eventually.
It wasn’t that I was afraid of him, I was embarrassed about what had happened. Evan was one of the gentlest people that I knew and yet I hadn’t been able to stop my body’s reaction to him that day.
I peeked out the window in the door, he was stood in the middle of the compound staring at the house. I watched him turn his head to the warehouse and then swivel back around toward the house.
My hands started to sweat as he started walking toward the house. I wasn’t ready to see him, I didn’t know what to do or say to him. My breathing started coming in pants the closer he got and by the time he knocked on the door I felt like I had an elephant sat on my chest.
“Kay?” He brought his face closer to the window and I ducked to the side. The fast movement caused my side to twitch in pain, I held my breath waiting for him to go.
“I know you’re in there,” I could tell by his voice that he was smiling. My breaths slowed the more he talked, I found it ironic he was the reason that I felt like this yet he was also the reason that I was calming down.
“Come on Kay” he groaned “I miss you”
I peeked up at the door, his face smashed up against the window trying to see inside. He must have seen me because he pulled back and smiled wide.
“Will you be my friend?” he pouted.
My hand clutched the door knob “Depends,” I said.
“On what?” I pulled the door open
“If you’ll forgive me.” I said in a small voice and looked down.
“Forgive you?” he gasped with wide eyes.
“Yes, I’m so sorry I freaked out Evan. I…I…”
“Hey,” he moved forward his arms outstretched, though this time he didn’t touch me. He waited until I moved forward.
“I’m sorry too,” he said when I moved into his arms and lay my head on his chest “Let’s just forget about it, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I said to his chest. Why did they all have to be so tall? I let out a deep breath, relieved that we were back on good terms.
“Hey!” Kitty shouted, we both turned to her “What’s going on?”
“Oh man, I have some gossip for you,” Evan whispered in my ear.
“You do?”
“Uh huh,” he nodded and pulled away. Grinning as he walked backwards with his brows dancing up and down. He jogged down the steps and toward the warehouse.
“Later alligator,” he shouted as he walked past Kitty.
“What was all that about?” she frowned not taking her eyes off of Evan.
“Nothing.” I shrugged walking into the house.
Huffing she followed me inside and threw herself on the couch.
“So…”
“So what?” she rolled her eyes at me.
“What’s been going on?”
She ignored me and pulled her phone out tapping away at the screen. I leaned over trying to see who she was texting but she covered her phone. I’d never seen her so secretive.
“Cookies?”
“Huh?”
“Eli said you bake the best cookies” jumping up she pushed her phone into her pocket.
“Okaaay…” I blinked.
“Teach me?”
So I found out that Kitty’s teach me is, you bake while I watch and eat them as they come out of the oven. That’s where we stayed for most of the day, me baking, Kitty eating and us talking about nothing but everything at the same time.
She told me about her sisters and her parents. How she came from a good family but had to escape from their suffocating rules. She had this far off look to her eyes when she talked about them.
Seems that they were all opening up to me now. Why couldn’t I do the same?
I managed to bake seven batches of cookies and by the time everyone had finished there wasn’t one cookie left. Eli and Evan had a cookie eating contest while I watched them all laugh and have fun.
Just watching them all took my mind off the fact that it would only be a couple of hours until bedtime.
Until I closed my eyes and saw him again.
Chapter Eighteen
It’s funny how real your imagination can be, I’d never suffered from any kind of nightmares. Not when my mother died or when Max had hit me for the first time or any time after that. I’d had dreams and then woke up and promptly forgot them.
This time it was different, each time I would close my eyes he’d be standing there. An evil grin on his face and a knife in his hand, but we’d never be in the apartment.
We’d always be wherever I fell asleep.
This made the nightmares so much worse, if it was me reliving the memories then I could separate that. But when he was here, in Ty’s house, on the compound. It made them that much worse.
Each nightmare lasted longer than the one before and each time he would get a little bit closer to me. This time he actually touched me.
I shot up in bed and whipped my head back and forth,
expecting him to be standing next to the bed.
Groaning from the pain of sitting up so fast I narrowed my eyes at the dark corner of the room. My chest heaved up and down, all that I could hear in the room were my heavy pants my breaths becoming louder the more I stared at the space.
I covered my mouth to hold the scream in when someone knocked on the door.
“Sweetheart?” Ty’s gruff voice whispered. “You good?”
He was the last person that I wanted to know about the nightmares. He’d want to know what was in them and then that would lead to what had happened that day.
I still wasn’t ready to tell him.
“Uh huh,” I said when I pulled my hand from my mouth, all the while not taking my eyes from the dark corner.
A crack of light came into the room when he opened the door, I could see now that there was nothing there breathing a sigh of relief I looked over at him.
“Kay?” he stepped into the room, leaving the door open halfway.
His hair was sticking up in different directions, my eyes traveling down his chest widened at the sight. The tattoos on his arms as they continued way up and over his broad shoulders, I couldn’t see his back but I imagined they continued there.
“What?” I shook my head, his mouth was moving but I couldn’t hear him over being distracted by his bare chest. It was chiseled to perfection, I shouldn’t be thinking about his perfect chest like that but when it was screaming at me from across the room it was a welcome distraction.
“I said. Is everything okay?”
His muscles moved with each step he took closer, the tattoos dancing on his arms. I smiled and nodded my head. He was so close now that if I reached out I could touch him.
“I’m okay”
“I heard screaming,” he frowned down at me.
“I’m fine.” I shook my head and lay back down.
“Don’t lie to me Kay,” his gruff voice warned.
“I…I…”
Ty tilted his head, those eyes assessing me in that frustrating way. He huffed sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Nightmare?”
The words were stuck in my throat so I nodded instead. I held my breath as he moved closer, his hand stretching out. I closed my eyes not knowing what he was about to do, when his hand touched my arm lightly I shivered. My eyes sprang open watching as his thumb rubbed back and forth.
Fractured Lies: Book 1 MAC Security Series Page 15