by Robyn Donald
‘There’s that little catch of laughter again. Do you know how infectious it is?’
Something had happened—an unspoken exchange of potent meaning that drove every trace of amusement from her.
And from Alex.
A heady awareness sizzled between them, blocking the breath in her throat. Serina’s eyes widened endlessly as he came towards her with the lithe, purposeful gait of a hunter.
Almost silently, he said, ‘It’s also very, very sexy. And when you look over your shoulder there’s something—I don’t even know what it is, but you look fey.’ His voice deepened. ‘And maddeningly irresistible.’
Serina swallowed to ease her suddenly dry mouth. Part of her wanted desperately to defuse the situation, to let him know that she didn’t…wasn’t yet ready…
And then he turned her to face him, and she looked up mutely into a face drawn and arrogant with desire. Her instinctive, protective resistance crumbled under the impact of a hunger so consuming she sighed as he fitted her into his arms and kissed her.
At first he didn’t give her the passion she craved; his mouth touched hers gently, almost tenderly, so that she wanted to stand on tiptoe and insist he satisfy the need he’d roused in her.
Yet a slow, languorous heat melted her bones until she could do nothing but accept that silky caress.
Against her lips, he said, ‘Is this what you want, Serina?’
‘You know it is,’ she whispered, unable to temporise, to hedge, even though some distant area of her brain was struggling to send out an All Systems alert.
He gathered her more closely into him, his mouth crushing down on hers in a kiss so ruthlessly demanding her knees almost gave way. And then she wasn’t aware of anything but the wild reaction of her eager body, a surrender that overrode every sensible limit she’d lived by until then.
When at last he lifted his mouth, Serina realised he was every bit as aroused as she was. She thrilled to the harsh indrawn breath he took and the urgent lift of his chest, the tense flexion of his arms around her.
And the hard, leashed power of him against her hips.
Yet, despite all the turmoil of thwarted passion, she’d never felt so safe, so wonderfully secure.
And that was the danger, she thought, confusion tumbling around her brain as her breathing slowed into harmony and his arms relaxed.
‘Serina,’ he said quietly, resting his cheek against her forehead. ‘That will have to be enough for now.’
A chill shuddered through her, and she had to stifle a small sound of protest. As though he understood how shaken she still was, he held her for several seconds more until she was able to straighten and trust her knees enough to pull away.
She could read nothing in his face; the dense, crystal line blue of his gaze hid his thoughts, his emotions.
Words falling into the stiff silence like pebbles in a pond, she said through slightly swollen lips, ‘I’m going to be crass and ask why.’
Alex’s twisted smile held more ruefulness than amusement. ‘Because it’s almost dinner time, and my housekeeper will wonder what the hell we’re doing if we don’t arrive for it.’
Her laughter sounded almost like a sob. Hastily, she controlled it, veiling her turbulent gaze with her lashes while she tried to sort out what she wanted to say.
Alex finished, ‘And because you’re not ready.’ He paused. ‘A year ago we looked at each other and wanted each other, but the time wasn’t right. I don’t know if it is yet. I sense some sort of restraint in you.’
His tone was neutral, but his keen scrutiny unnerved her. Not restraint—no, not that. What he sensed was shyness, the modesty of a woman who was still a virgin.
Should she tell him? No.
She bit her lip. ‘I didn’t come here hoping for—intending—any sort of—of…’ Her voice trailed away.
‘Relationship? I despise that word.’ His tone was cool, almost mocking. ‘Affair? Not much better. What exactly did you come here not expecting?’
Serina’s brows lifted and she said with a cutting edge to each word, ‘I don’t like relationship either, but it will suffice.’
She stopped because she didn’t know what to say next.
He was silent, his face expressionless, and then to her shock he linked his fingers around her wrist so that his thumb rested on the vulnerable pulse that beat there.
Sheer astonishment held her frozen, but to her dismay she felt the answering leap of her heart at that almost casual grip.
‘Whatever you hoped or intended or resisted,’ he said, holding her eyes with his own, ‘your response tells me—and should convince you, however much you’d like to deny it—there already is a relationship.’ He emphasised the word enough to lift the hairs on the back of her neck.
‘I don’t—’
Alex cut in ruthlessly, ‘What you decide to do about it is up to you, but don’t deny it’s there.’ He released her. ‘And you’re not in any danger. I can control my urges, and I’m sure you can too.’
His detached tone and ironic eyes set a barrier between them that hurt when it should have reassured.
After a glance at his watch he said, ‘Dinner will be ready soon. I’ll come and collect you in about twenty minutes.’
Once he’d left, the memory of the kiss hung in the room like the rose she’d packed so carefully—so foolishly—in her luggage. She opened her bag and picked up the bloom, limp and already fading in the tissue she’d wrapped around it, and made to throw it into the rubbish bin.
But something stayed her hand. Smiling wanly at her weakness, she put it back into the case.
‘A shower,’ she told herself.
As though she could wash away the memory of their kisses! She had a feeling they’d stay with her all her life—the first time she’d discovered such a depth of passion in herself that she literally had no control over her emotions.
The en suite bathroom was small but superbly fitted, and again she wondered how many women had been accommodated in this room, this house—in Alex’s arms.
He certainly wasn’t considered a playboy but, apart from Ms Antonides, his name had been linked with several other women, all beauties, and mostly women with high-flying careers in various fields.
About as far removed from her as anyone could be, Serina thought, turning off the water with a vicious twist of her wrist.
Then she shook her head. OK, so she didn’t have a proper career, but she’d had to put any hopes of that on hold when her parents had been killed. Left with an estate that was a total mess, she’d salvaged what she could, ruthlessly selling everything of any value so Doran could finish his education at his expensive school. And becoming Rassel’s muse—backed by years of serious scrimping—had provided her with enough to pay for his university studies.
Which was why she found his near-obsession with that game so infuriating. Once, when she’d taxed him with it, he’d told that one day he’d be looking after her and, although she was touched, she tried to convince him that it wasn’t likely. Some research on video gaming had convinced her it was big companies who came up with profitable new franchises, not rank amateurs.
But Doran was clearly having a fabulous time in Vanuatu, so she could stop worrying about him. For the moment, anyway.
She paced around the room, admiring the delicate, exquisitely precise watercolours on the walls. Alex’s grandmother had had huge talent, and her heart warmed at this further evidence of his thoughtfulness.
Her gaze drifted to the laptop. After dinner she’d make notes about what she’d seen so far while the memories were fresh.
Her heart raced when someone tapped on her door. Bracing herself, she opened it and found Alex, his expression coolly non-committal as he gave her a swift glance that encompassed her bare arms and throat.
‘You might want a wrap or a cardigan.’
‘I’ll get one,’ she said, wishing she’d thought of it herself. That impersonal survey had hurt a vulnerable part of her she’d never known she
possessed.
Collecting a light wrap, she thought indignantly that being kissed by Alex had somehow turned her into a different person—a woman irritatingly sensitive to his every look, to every inflection in his deep voice. A woman who found herself sighing over the way the corners of his mouth turned up whenever he smiled—even the shape of his ears and the fact that the sun struck glints of red from his black hair!
Neither she nor Alex wanted a drink before dinner, so they went straight in to their meal. The woman who brought in the dishes was introduced as Caroline Summers, the house keeper. In her mid-thirties, she had a pleasant smile and a briskly competent manner that Serina liked.
And she was a brilliant cook. Suddenly hungry, Serina applied herself to an entrée of grilled mussels with bacon and almonds.
‘It’s one of my favourites,’ Alex said, ‘and I noticed you enjoyed seafood at the dinner for the wedding party, so I assumed you’d like this.’
After one mouthful she said enthusiastically, ‘It’s delicious. Is it a New Zealand favourite?’
‘I don’t know where Caroline found the recipe, or if she made it up. Ask her when she comes back. One of these days I’m probably going to lose her to a restaurant, but in the meantime she seems content enough to stay here while her children are young. Her husband is the live stock manager on the station.’
‘The station?’ she enquired.
‘In New Zealand and Australia a large farm is called a station.’
Grateful for the neutral subject, Serina asked questions diligently while they ate, enjoying the sound of his voice, the sight of his lean, tanned hands across the table, the warmth from the flames in the fire place, the silence of the darkening countryside…
She learned that Haruru had been his father’s in heritance, that his mother had been the link through which Alex was related to Gerd and his brother Kelt—they shared the same New Zealand great-grandfather. And she deduced that, while Alex called the station home, the corporation he ran kept him too busy to spend much time there.
She learned that Haruru in Maori meant rumbling.
‘There’s a waterfall in the hills that can be heard rumbling through the ground for some distance,’ Alex told her. ‘How?’
‘It’s volcanic land, and it’s probably a trick of acoustics.’
Above all, she learned that the delicious irritant of her attraction to him had deepened, turning into something darker and more dangerous—something that might teach her the meaning of heart break…
CHAPTER SIX
THAT night Serina slept well and the next morning Alex showed her around his garden, but for the first time ever she couldn’t fully concentrate on the beauty and harmony of flowers and foliage and form. Her attention was fixed on the man beside her.
She wondered dismally if this—whatever—she felt for Alex was going to destroy her pleasure in gardens.
Not that it could be love. The mere thought of that shocked her.
She couldn’t afford to love him. He’d made his attitude brutally clear; the unfulfilled desire that pulsated between them indicated a relationship, nothing more.
It was a relief to get into the Land Rover for a quick overview of the station. The track wound up to an airstrip along a ridge, providing a magnificent view over green hills and bush-clad gullies and the Pacific Ocean, a wide stretch of brilliant blue under the bright winter sky.
‘Tomorrow we’ll go down to the nearest beach,’ he told her on their way back to the home stead. ‘I hope you have some warm clothes with you?’
‘Of course I have,’ she returned crisply. ‘But you don’t need to entertain me, you know. Tomorrow I’ll see about hiring a car so I can visit some of the gardens in the guide book you found for me.’
He gave her a narrow glance. ‘Have you ever driven on the left?’
‘Oh, yes,’ she said absently, trying not to look down the hill. Although the track was well-maintained, the ground fell away sharply on her side without any barrier and she refused to let him see how nervous she was. Heights intimidated her.
But he must have sensed it because he slowed the Land Rover down. ‘When? And how much?’
Warmed by his unspoken consideration, she said, ‘I used to visit Doran at his school in England. Also, when our nanny was ill I drove down to Somerset quite frequently to visit her.’
And on other occasions when she’d been checking out gardens and interviewing their owners.
He said, ‘So you’re experienced on both sides of the road.’
‘And I’m a careful driver.’ Scrupulously, she added, ‘I did once set off from an intersection and head straight towards the wrong side. I was lucky—there was no other traffic, but it scared me and I’ve been super-cautious ever since.’
‘If there had been other traffic you’d probably have kept to the left,’ Alex said. He glanced at her. ‘You don’t need to hire a car; I’ll drive you around.’
‘I can’t ask you to do that,’ she pro tested, hiding her quick flare of pleasure.
‘You didn’t,’ he said, reacting instantly when a bird sunning itself in the gravel flew up suddenly in front of the Land Rover.
Serina’s sharp intake of breath wasn’t necessary. Without stamping on the brake, Alex slowed the vehicle but held it to the line.
‘Never try to avoid a bird or an animal,’ he said calmly. ‘Probably more people have been killed taking abrupt evasive action than actually hitting something. Always stay on the road, and on your side if it’s a public road.’
‘Surely it’s human instinct to try not to hurt anything?’ she pro tested, feeling her tense muscles relax.
‘Control it. You’re good at control.’
Serina flushed. Except when he touched her…
He added, ‘Unless you’re faced with hitting another person and, even then, you need to weigh the consequences.’
Soberly, she said, ‘I hope I never have to.’ She returned to the original subject. ‘But you don’t need to drive me—you must have plenty of things to do without that. I’ll buy a good map and I’m capable of finding my way around.’
‘I can spare the time.’
When she began to object again, he said, ‘Serina, I know lots more people—and gardens—than whoever wrote that guide book, and most of them aren’t open to the public.’
Serina was torn. She had to make this visit worthwhile, which meant seeing as many gardens as she could fit in. The more material she gathered, the better. For worthwhile read profitable, she thought as the track they were on joined another wider and more travelled one.
But the real reason for her reluctance to have Alex for a chauffeur was the intensity of her response to him.
Thoughtfully, she said, ‘There are occasions when you sound like my father in his most aristocratic mood.’
His tone matching hers, he responded, ‘I do not feel in the least like your father.’ After a taut few seconds he added dryly, ‘Or your brother.’
She glanced sideways, her heart thumping erratically as she took in his autocratic profile. He might not work on the station, but his hands on the wheel were strong and competent. Some wicked part of her mind flashed up an image of them stroking slowly across her pale skin. Heat flamed deep within her, and she had to stare stonily ahead and concentrate on a flock of sheep in the field.
‘One of them is cast,’ Alex said, and brought the Land Rover to a stop.
Serina opened her door and scrambled down too, eyes on the sheep lying in the grass, its legs sticking out pathetically. ‘What’s the matter with it?’ she asked as Alex swung lithely over the wire fence.
He set off towards the animal. ‘It’s heavy with wool and couldn’t get up, and now its balance has gone. It will die if it’s left like that. Stay there—I can deal with it.’
But Serina climbed the fence too, making sure she kept close to the post as he had done. The wires hurt her hands a little; she rubbed them down her jeans as she joined him. The rest of the flock scattered at their ap
proach, but they stopped a safe distance away and turned to eye the two intruders curiously as Alex strode over to the struggling sheep.
It didn’t seem likely that he’d need help but, just in case, Serina followed him across the short grass.
The sheep registered its dislike of being approached by bleating weakly and struggling. Serina watched as Alex bent and, without seeming to exert much effort, turned the animal so that it stood. It panted and hung its head, but seemed stable enough until he stepped back.
‘Damn,’ he muttered as it staggered. He grabbed it and held it steady.
Serina said, ‘If we both hold it for a while until it gets its balance, would that help?’
‘Probably, but you’d get dirty.’ His voice held a sardonic note.
‘So?’ Irritated, she positioned herself beside the panting animal and pressed her knee against it. Greasy wool, warm from the winter sun, clung to the denim of her jeans.
‘It smells,’ he said, adding, ‘and the wool will leave unfiltered, dirty lanolin on your hands and clothes. Those extremely well-cut jeans may never be the same again.’
‘I’ve smelt a lot worse than this,’ she said, meeting his eyes.
‘In that case, thanks for helping,’ he said coolly. ‘They’re due to be shorn today, so if we can get it steady it will be all right.’
It was oddly intimate, standing there with the animal panting between them. Serina concealed a wry smile, wondering how many of the women who’d stayed at that beautiful home stead had got this close to a sheep.
And what would his business rivals and allies think if they could see him now? Clad in a plaid shirt with sleeves rolled up to reveal strongly muscular arms, and a pair of trousers in some hard-wearing fabric that showed off narrow hips and strongly muscled thighs, he stood with booted feet braced, taller than her by some inches.
Accustomed to looking most men in the eyes, Serina felt overshadowed, yet oddly protected.
The silence was weighted too heavily with awareness, and she found herself saying, ‘I somehow got the impression that most farmers in New Zealand travel with packs of eager dogs.’