by Vi Carter
“I think we finally have a grip on the Rat Pack,” I speak while taking my phone out. It’s Fox again.
“Good.”
I glance at my father, and he raises his glass before taking a drink.
Driving back to the market, all I can think about is Willow. I can’t get the image out of my head of her bare feet, stepping into a room where her father lay. Did she step into a pool of his blood? Did she try to save him? How long had she stayed with her father until she understood he was dead? I quickly dial her phone. She hasn’t been answering me all day.
“What is it, Rian?” I’m surprised when Catherine answers. I wasn’t expecting that, but now it made sense.
“You took her phone?”
“My daughter doesn’t need a phone.” Her words are sharp, and I know the woman can’t stand me.
“It’s a work phone, Catherine.”
“I wouldn’t agree from the message I’ve read.”
“Where is Willow? She has work today.”
“She’s at Bible study.”
“Where?”
Catherine releases a heavy breath down the phone. “What is it that you want?”
I want to call her a cunt because that’s all I see when I look at her. I end the call before I disrespect her. I do it for Willow and my father.
Once the barrier is lifted, I drive into the compound and park. I’m considering asking Fredrick to fly the drone and find Willow for me. I laugh at the madness of my suggestion. I had people who could find people. If I didn’t get to talk to Willow this evening, I could make the call. She had thought that it was over with us. I had told her that once I tasted her, she was mine. I get out of the car, my mind still on Willow. She had tasted perfect. My body hums with a want for her flesh. I had been gentle with her. But the next time, I didn’t have to hold back.
The market is busy again today. Blitz is the first to see me. He puts down the two guns he had been playing with.
“Are you planning on shooting someone?” I ask.
“I’m always planning on shooting someone. Fox is in the office.”
Blitz and I make our way there. Fox is bent over a set of maps. His finger running along the center. He doesn’t look up as we enter.
“I don’t know if this will work.”
I join Fox and glance down at the blueprints. I have no clue what I’m looking at.
“This is where you found the market.” He glances at me, and I nod. “You see the red lines? Those are the main water pipes. They stop on the border of the market.”
“They set it up like that on purpose?” Blitz asks what I’m thinking.
Fox shrugs. “I mean, it could just be a coincidence.”
“I don’t believe in coincidences,” I speak while dragging my attention across the map. “Let’s say it’s intentional. That would mean they had to get the maps.” Now I look up at Fox.
“They would. There would be no other way of knowing.”
“Can we find out if anyone was inquiring?”
Fox shrugs again. “We could, but it could be a dead end. They could get these maps in the records county department, the library. It’s not a secret.”
“But it’s my land. Should that knowledge not be just for me?” I had no idea how this worked.
“You don’t own the underground system. It’s the council’s property. It must have been an old water system that’s not used anymore.”
I sit down in the chair.
“You look like shit.” Blitz frowns down at me.
“I think my hand’s infected.” That scrawny little fucker could have anything. I highly doubt he kept his knife clean.
“After this, I’m going to the hospital. I’ll be admitted for a few hours. You’ll come visit me.” I speak to Blitz, and he stares at me like I lost my mind. “I’ll need you there the whole time, Blitz. Like a witness.”
“Let me guess. You’re going to the Lourdes hospital.” Fox says while folding up the blueprints.
“Exactly.” I had to tie up the loose end that was Chad. Being admitted and hospitalized with Blitz and nurses as my witness. It would be a bulletproof alibi.
“So, what do you want to do about the market?” Fox folds up the blueprints.
“Turn the water on. See if we can destroy any of it.”
“It won’t reach that part, Rian. I think we have the upper hand, and we would be giving away our position.”
“Then what do you suggest?” This is starting to get frustrating.
“I think we should load up and go down and take them all out.” Blitz grins at me.
“You want to commit mass murder?” Fox growls like Blitz is an idiot, and in this case I agree with Fox. That wasn’t something I would do. The water being turned on wouldn’t fall back on us. It was illegal activity in the sewers, and a burst pipe that was old and dormant could easily happen.
My head throbs, and I can’t think straight right now.
“Let me think about it, and I’ll see what I come up with.”
I nod at Fox as he takes the blueprints and leaves the room.
“You can come with me.” I get out of the chair, and the noise in the market sends waves of sweat across my body. I was starting to think I might be worse than I had thought.
“You really look like shit,” Blitz tells me again like I need to fucking hear it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
WILLOW
My mother pulls up at a row of cars parked on the church grounds. I’m struggling to stay still. I don’t want to go. My mother’s conversation with Detective Lacy still spins in my head. I glance down at my hand, the half-moon marks are still visible from when she dug her nails into my hand.
“Luke is coming.” The smile in my mother’s voice has my head snapping up.
Luke smiles at me, and I force one back. He was a decent soul, and he always was there to listen and help everyone. Maybe that was the problem. He was decent, and I didn’t do decent. No, I needed them to be more messed up than me.
I climb out of the car.
“Hi, Luke.” I dip my head in the shy way they are used to from me.
“You look really pretty.” My mother joins us and so does Father Cooney.
“Everyone is here.”
Maria, Casey, and her sister Laura, along with Josh, and Barb stand huddled together. Their laughter is loud, and I can tell it’s genuine. These are the happiest bunch of people you will ever meet. They do drag some hidden happiness out of me, especially Barb, who spots me. Her red curly hair bounces as she comes over and joins us.
“Yay, you're coming.” She sings, and I can see she’s holding back in front of my mother.
“Mrs. Steele.” She bobs her head at my mother.
“Barbara. How is your mother?”
“Very well. She’s excited about the upcoming fundraiser.” Barb's smile is genuine. I can sense eyes on me and glance at Luke.
I have the urge to roll my eyes, but my body responds correctly by smiling back.
“Okay. Are we all ready?” Maria and Casey and Laura join us.
Everyone is excited, and I want to reach out and take some. It’s like watching someone eating pink cotton candy. “Barb and Willow can ride in my car.” Luke offers up.
“Josh, you are with us.” Maria smiles at Josh.
“How long are we going for?” I ask and hate the nerves I hear in my voice.
“Two days. Now, if you need me, just ring. You kids have fun.” My mother places a hand on my face like I’m a child prodigy and not a nightmare from hell. Guilt swells up inside me, and I want to tell her I’m sorry for provoking her today. I’m sorry that she lost her son because of me. I’m sorry that she lost her husband. I’m sorry.
“Go.” She releases my face and walks back to the car. Opening the trunk, she takes out a large suitcase that she packed for me. Father Cooney takes it from her, and like the gentleman that he is, he places it in the trunk of Luke's car.
My mother climbs in and waves at us before d
riving off. I feel abandoned with people who don’t know me. I’ve been with this group for three years now. They see what I want them to see, not the real me. If they did, I’m sure they would be dousing me in holy water and not holding open the door of the car.
I climb in, and Luke closes the door. Barb is already in the back. “Lord, he has the hots for you.” She’s excited, and I try to focus on her excitement.
“He’s like a puppy,” she quickly says as he climbs in. I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face.
“What, have you got in your suitcase, a body?” Luke asks.
“What?” My stomach falls into my shoes, and the car grows too small.
“The weight. You must have packed for two weeks.” He’s half laughing, half looking at me with concern. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I shake my head and try to clear it. “I just had a late night.”
Barb pulls herself forward, and the car takes off. “I heard you are working with Rian.” The way Barb says his name, it’s like it’s a sin.
I keep facing forward. “Yes.”
“I’m surprised your mother allowed that.” Luke perks up beside me.
“Why is that, Luke?” the edge to my voice has him flickering a glance in my direction.
“Isn’t he like, dangerous?”
“Cars are dangerous. We could crash at any second. The world is dangerous.” I glance out the window.
“You know what he means.” Barb squeezes my shoulder, and I hate how uptight I feel.
“He’s not dangerous to me,” I finally say.
“Well, all I’m saying is, he’s hot.”
I have to glance at Barb. She’s smiling with a brow cocked up in the air.
“He’s hardly marriage material,” Luke says drily.
“Who said anything about marriage?” Barb’s word has me smiling internally. I’d never been outside Bible study with her, so I’d never seen this side. Maybe this would be a bit of fun.
“Let’s pick some music.” Luke definitely didn’t want to talk about Rian, and I was honestly okay with that. Just the thought of my final words to him caused my stomach to ache.
Country music rolls through the car at a medium level.
“I’m just saying, I think he would be fun.” Barb wasn’t letting her notions of Rian go. “Just, you know, you could introduce us.”
I cringe internally.
“I don't think your mother would approve, Barbara.”
Barbara rolls her eyes at me and sits back. Luke is four years older than us, and I’m sure everything we speak of will go back to Father Cooney. I can see why my mother would pick him. He was good looking and well groomed. He came from a wealthy background and never missed Bible study. He wouldn’t break a rule, and I’m sure he would tell my mother every little detail of this weekend.
Barbara sings to every song that plays. I can sense Luke’s agitation. I’m sure he had wished he didn’t have to bring her with us. He turns the music down and clears his throat.
“Your mother tells me you have a love for painting.”
“Kind of.” I want to exhale loudly, but I keep it in.
“Oh, she made it sound like you really loved it.”
“I did once. I don’t paint anymore.”
Barb is back up between us, and I’m surprised that Luke hasn’t commented on her not wearing her seat belt. “Why stop if you were so good?”
I glance at Barb. “It makes me sad.” Her eyes widen; that wasn’t the answer she was expecting.
“My brother taught me.” Now I wish I hadn’t spoken. Aran was a genius with a paintbrush. He was always a bit odd. My mother used to say he had my father’s darkness, but I never saw it in Aran, not even at the end.
“My brother is a dickhead,” Barb says, surprising me again. Luke gives her a look of disapproval in the rear-view mirror. “I honestly can’t bear him, and he’s as dumb as two stones. He has no talents.”
I’m suppressing a laugh at her words. Barbara sits back after that, and Luke turns up the music.
We arrive at a beautiful log cabin where we will be spending the next two days. I get out as two more cars pull up behind us. Maria’s white BMW is first, and then after her is Father Cooney’s sedan.
“Does it have a pool?” Laura blows her bangs out of her eyes as she stares up at the cabin.
“It does not,” Father Cooney answers. “But, it does have running water.”
“Yippie,” Barbs speaks towards me, and low enough that only I can hear.
Luke insists on carrying my suitcase into the foyer. Father Cooney waits until we are all inside before laying down the law. I think his words aren’t necessary. Not one of them would break a rule.
“Okay, so I’m not staying here. I’ll be visiting the monks a few miles away.” Barb squeezes my arm while Marie looks alarmed. She has dark hair just like her two sisters—only she doesn’t have bangs like they do.
“We are going to be alone?”
“You are never alone, Maria. There are seven of you here. I will return for our daily prayers, but I trust you all.” Father Cooney glances at us one by one. “I’ve never had a reason not to.” Why the hell was he looking at me? Oh yeah. I’d never gone with them before.
“Any problems, and Luke has my number. Go pick your rooms and get settled in.”
There is a yelp of excitement, and I reach for my suitcase, not feeling any enthusiasm. I don’t get to it before Luke wraps his fingers around the handle.
“I got it.” I try to take it from him.
“No, I'll bring it for you.” His smile is quick.
The three sisters barge in front of us. Josh lounges on one of the large chairs. His blond hair is swept back neatly. He looks like a choir boy.
“We have to have rooms beside each other.” Barb bustles past Luke. The hall is tight, and he has to wedge himself up against the wall. She finds a room and dashes out, opening the next door. “This one is Willow’s. You can leave her case in here.” She points with her finger, and Luke does as she says. His jaw is clenched. I follow him into the basic room. The patched quilt on the bed looks like something your grandma would knit. Not that mine ever did, but it’s what I would imagine a grandma doing.
Barb plops down on my bed, and Luke stands awkwardly. “Thank you,” I say and pull my suitcase over towards the bed. It weighs a ton. Luke’s arms move around me, and I have no idea what he is doing until he removes my luggage and places it on the bed.
Barb widens her eyes at him.
“Thanks.”
He gives me a smile before leaving.
“Jesus, he’s full-on.”
I don’t know what to make of Barb. I’ve always liked her, but, right now, she’s full on, and I want to be alone with my thoughts of Rian and the mess I’ve made in my life.
When she climbs off the bed, I’m glad that she felt the vibes from me without me saying anything.
She closes the door and comes back. “So, I brought some liquor.” She’s grinning like a Cheshire cat.
“I don’t drink.” I keep my hands on my suitcase without opening it.
“Never?” She lets her mouth hang open.
“Never,” I answer quickly.
“Okay. Now it is my mission to see that Willow tastes alcohol.”
I don't want to make this weird. “Maybe.” I give up. I hope she leaves. I’m surprised this time when she gets off the bed.
“Okay, I’ll let you unpack.” She walks back out of my room, and I finally breathe when she leaves. My mind goes straight to mother again, and that snippet of a conversation I had heard between her and Detective Lacy.
He had said, ‘the hand’. I’m thinking of my mother questioning me about what happened with Rian on my first day of work. She couldn’t have been talking about that hand? What other hand is there, Willow?
I sit on the bed as another hand springs to mind. I can still see it so clearly. My father’s large hands, his knuckles, had some hair on them. His hand was ope
n, palm up. The gold band on his finger shone so brightly, and I knew it was all a lie. He didn’t love her. He didn’t love us.
My heart gallops at the ringing phone. I’m staring at my suitcase in absolute confusion as the phone continues to ring, and I quickly zip it open, flinging the lid back. There sitting on the top of all my clothes is the phone Rian gave me.
My throat and nose burn. I have no idea why she gave it back, but it couldn’t be good. Picking up the phone, it stops ringing. I swallow the pain. I can’t help but want to read our messages. She would never know that I read them. My heart sinks. The phone has been cleared. My heart leaps again as the phone rings. Rian’s name flashes across the screen. What if it’s a trick? What if it’s my mother seeing if I answer it?
My finger hovers across the green button, and I’m pressing it while raising the phone to my ear. “Hello.”
“Are you okay?”
My legs grow weak at his voice, and I sink to the floor. “You shouldn’t be calling.”
His laughter sends shivers racing through me. “Why did you answer?”
I can’t answer that. “I’m fine. You sound strange.” He sounded drunk, but I didn't take Rian as a daytime drinker.
“Where are you?” He ignores my question.
I draw my knees up to my chest. “Why?”
“You didn’t turn up to work, and I was worried.”
I bit my lip, wanting to tell him I want to see him. I miss him. I rub my forehead. “I’m sorry, Rian. I’m with my Bible group.”
“Where is that?”
That’s twice he asked me where I am. “Why?”
“Just trying to make sure you're okay, Willow.” He doesn’t sound angry, his voice is soft, and that doesn’t feel right after our last conversation.
“I have to go.”
“Wait…” There is a long pause.
“Rian?” I’m wondering if he is still there.
“I’ll call you later,” He finally says.
“Don’t.” I hang up and throw the phone on the floor like it burnt me.
Why did she do it? Why did she give it back to me? I don’t believe I will ever truly understand my mother’s motives, but I have to trust her.