by Kimball Lee
“Too much trouble,” Atticus mumbled and he was vaguely aware of a pair of very, very blue eyes in the air above him. “I need some music, brother, and don’t tell Charlotte I took a bullet,” he said and smiled up as Ivy brushed the strands of hair from his forehead and studied his beguiling face.
“Charlotte?” Ivy whispered and wondered who Charlotte was and how she got so lucky to have this brave and beautiful man love her.
“Here ya go man, how about a little FUN?” Holden said and he scrolled through a playlist on his phone and let the band’s music fill the cabin as they flew toward safety between the stars and the sea.
“This is it boys, this is war— what are we waiting for? Why don’t we break the rules already? I was never one to believe the hype, save that for the black and white, try twice as hard and I’m half as liked, but here they come again to jack my style. That’s alright, I found a martyr in my bed tonight, she stops my bones from wondering who I am, who I am— oh, who am I? Well, some nights I wish that this all would end ‘cause I could use some friends for a change, and some nights I’m afraid you’ll forget me again, some nights I always win— I always win. But I still wake up, I still see your ghost. Oh, Lord, I’m still not sure what I stand for most, what do I stand for, what do I stand for— most nights I don’t know anymore. So this is it. I sold my soul for this? Washed my hands of that for this? I miss my mom and dad for this? No. When I see stars that’s all they are, when I hear songs they sound like this one. So come on, oh, come on. Well that is it guys, that is all— five minutes in and I’m bored again. Ten years of this I’m not sure if anybody understands. This is not for the folks at home; sorry to leave, Mom, I had to go. Who the fuck wants to die alone… Man you wouldn’t believe the most amazing things that can come from some terrible nights…”
Lieutenant Ramos pushed the helo to its limit, flying fast toward the carrier. The smell of blood filled the cabin and he spoke into his mouthpiece relaying info that they were on their way and Atticus Hale was in critical condition. Jack and Holden locked eyes and what passed between them was a mixture of fear, dread and hope. The Master Chief grumbled and cursed as he gained consciousness. Holden leaned forward and slipped a set of hard plastic flex-cuffs on his wrists and jerked them tight. And Ivy Archer continued to smooth the wavy black hair off the face of the man whose head rested in her lap, the man who had rescued her from a fate worse than death. She whispered his name so low that only she could hear— “Atticus Hale, Atticus Hale, Atticus Hale…”
*
“We’re outta here, Atticus. Jack and I are flying out today and I’m not sure what the brass has in store for you. They’ll kick your ass out of bed as soon as you’re fit to travel and you’ll get a much needed sick leave, that’s the only certainty,” Holden said as Atticus tried to sit up in the hospital bed.
“Where are we? Back in DC?” he asked as weakness overtook his body and he sank back against the pillows.
“No, we’re still on the carrier, you’ve been out of it for three days. Listen, we’re catching a ride off this boat now, I got the captain to let me stay until you woke up. I haven’t told Charlotte or Dad how bad your wounds are and I’m sure I’ll catch hell for that down the road, but fuck it, huh? They’re aware of what we do and now that I know you’re gonna live I gotta tell you— I’m jealous of your battle scars.”
“Battle scars? Okay, I’ll take your word for it, all I remember are my mother’s eyes looking down from above me. But not really my mother, just bright blue eyes. Strange, I usually dream about Sky…”
“Big blue eyes, yeah, that would be Ivy Archer. We got her out, no casualties, except for you, almost. You took a round to the shoulder but it’s out now and I saved the bullet for you, knowing your sentimental side and all. Ivy wants to stay with you until you leave the ship and they’ve granted permission due to her ordeal and extenuating circumstances. The girl has a case of Stockholm syndrome in reverse, she’s fixated on her rescuer— you. Okay brother, I’m outta here, Jack and I have been ordered to Norfolk, Virginia and the C.O. wants us to hang tight there for a few weeks or months, who the fuck knows why? I’m sure it’s training, training, and more training, but this is the road we chose. I’ve decided to ask for a three day leave to go home to Hadley, maybe it’s not too late to walk her down the red carpet at her awards ceremony. I’m going to be there for your sister one way or the other, even if I have go UA and pay for it afterward. She’s worth it, you know I love her, right? Okay, enough of that. I’ll see you when we get back to Coronado. And Atticus, I… I’m glad you’re alright. I can’t help thinking you made the decision to stick around and live.”
“I love you too, brother. And for the record, I had to stay to keep your ass out of trouble. Give Hads a hug for me and Charlie and the rest of the family,” Atticus said, and he noticed the blue-eyed girl standing quietly in the corner. She was a beauty with black hair and pale smooth skin, she had Charlotte’s coloring although they looked nothing alike and she blushed furiously when she realized he was watching her.
Holden turned in the direction of Atti’s gaze and held out his hand for Ivy to come closer. “Ivy, I’d like for you to meet my brother, Atticus Hale. Atti, this is Ivy Archer, you saved her and I’m sure you two have things to say to one another so I’m gone. Catch you back in the States, bro. Ms. Archer, it was… an exhilarating night at the beach.”
Atticus held out his hand and Ivy took it and smiled self-consciously as she drew closer and stood over him. She had always been so sure of her looks and the effect her startling beauty had on men, but this man had an astonishingly arresting beauty and a conspicuously dominant air that made her feel small and lack-luster in comparison. Could a man be truly beautiful, and could he become so important to a woman’s heart that he consumed her every thought? She had asked herself that question over the years as her high school and then college friends let themselves be carried giddily away by the mere thought of a certain boy or man. It had all been rather laughable but then a pair of sapphire-blue eyes had looked into her soul and this man had led her out of the gilded prison where she had been held by that lunatic general. Now she understood the term ‘love at first sight’ and there was nothing laughable about it, it was the most powerful emotion she had ever experienced. She had not dared to want much in her life, but she hoped and prayed that Atticus Hale would fall in love with her.
“So I took a couple of bullets for you, Ivy Archer. Glad I could do it and I hope you’re feeling well? Not too many scars on your mind or body from your ordeal, or is that too personal to ask?” Atticus winced as he tried to sit up again and she hurriedly propped more pillows behind his broad shoulders and back, blushing all the more at the sight of his marvelously muscled bare chest.
He smiled as the color rose in her cheeks and she busied herself checking his I.V. as if she had any idea what she was doing. Then her hands fluttered to her black hair and she twisted the loose waves in her hands and secured the thick mass into a ponytail with an elastic band from her wrist. “No no, of course not, it’s not too personal. I’m meeting with a therapist here on the ship everyday… well for the last three days, twice a day, actually. It was not a good situation but I wasn’t physically… abused or… anything like that. The old man, the General, you know he was pretty messed up in the head after his son was killed. I mean, he might have been… he probably was already crazy before that. Oh, what am I trying to say? I made the worst mistake of my life by going to Honduras with some hot guy I barely knew and things just sort of completely got out of hand. But his father didn’t hurt me or… anything like that. So I was lucky in a way, it could have been much worse and his men were getting restless and out of control… it’s a good thing you showed up when you did. I owe you my life.”
“Your sister sent me to get you, it took some unorthodox maneuvering on her part and I shouldn’t say any more about it. She wanted you out safely and I was glad to do the job. This was my first “real” mission. As part of the teams
, Special Forces, I train nonstop and we use live ammo and get up close and personal in the kill-house. Last night… umm, actually I guess it was a few nights ago, time is mixed up in my head right now. The night we came for you at the beach house, that night I had my first kill,” Atticus said and his voice was low and hoarse and he wondered what part of Finn’s spirit had survived in him. He didn’t relish the kill, Finn had said more than once that he was born to be an assassin, but DNA couldn’t be denied. Atticus was in the deepest most microscopic cells of his body connected to Alexander Bly and it was never more evident to him than at that moment.
“Would you excuse me please, I need to let the dope they’ve got me hooked up to do its thing,” he said and he pressed the button attached to his I.V. and turned his face to the grey metal wall in the ship’s sickbay. He hoped the morphine or Demerol or whatever magic potion was flowing into his vein would do the trick. If it would stop the hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach or anesthetize the gaping wound in his heart where Finn’s love had been ripped away, he might survive. He missed his dad and he wanted nothing more for his life than to be like him, but he wasn’t. He hadn’t felt elation when that first bullet tore into a human being and ended the unknown man’s existence. But the drug was working and it was powerful and it made him feel as if he were free and surrounded by light and love. It made him feel like he was far from shore in an endless blue ocean swimming with dolphins.
Chapter Five
“You don’t get it do you? Money can’t buy you love, not my love at least,” Hadley said as she and Cade Townsend walked along the beach below his house in Malibu. New Year’s Eve was just around the corner and later that night Cade was accompanying her to the Women in Film Association event. They had spent more time together than Hadley had intended and there was no way for Hadley to pretend she wasn’t attracted to his oddly endearing brand of possessive masculinity. Cade was a control freak and what he most liked to control were women, so Hadley had done her best to discourage his interest in her but it was like throwing gasoline on a fire. The more she suggested he kiss her ass the more he told her he’d like to do just that among other things.
“I get what I want, Hadley. Usually what I want is offered readily, however if the unwilling object of my affection requires a bit of convincing,” he said and he stopped and wrapped her sweater more closely around her thin frame. “I’m excellent at gathering research for business purposes and also where you’re concerned, which means in romance as well. Take a look, do you recognize this bar?”
“Wax?” She said, trying to remember why that name was familiar. “This can’t be the same beach bar where my parents danced together, that was more than twenty years ago.”
“No, it’s not the same bar, but I bought this place and had the name changed. Do you like it, do I win points for romantic effort and originality?” He asked and before she could answer he guided her inside the little bar where a few seasoned surfers who had braved the late December Ocean sat drinking cold bottles of beer. “There isn’t a band but there are plenty of oldies on the jukebox. Pick something and we’ll dance, it doesn’t require coins, by the way. And Hadley, make it a slow song.”
“I’d rather not, Cade. I really am flattered but I do have a boyfriend…” she said and he just smiled and leaned down to push her hair off her neck and kiss the tender skin there.
“Fine, I’ll choose the song, Ms. Hale. I have a thing for bluesy seventies music and… you.”
She stood in the middle of the dimly lit bar with the surfers whispering over their beers. The bartender gave her a thumbs up and pointed to a movie poster that hung over the cash register, and she wasn’t surprised to see her face on it.
“I love this song, please dance with me Hadley,” Cade said pulling her so close that she had no choice but to follow his every move as the jukebox played and she wondered if this was in fact how her mother had felt when she was young and began to play her dangerous game with her own heart and the hearts of two men.
“Me and Mrs. Jones, we got a thing goin’ on. We both know that it’s wrong but it’s much too strong to let it go now. We meet every day at the same café, six-thirty, I know she’ll be there. Holding hands, making all kinds of plans, while the jukebox plays our favorite song. Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, we got a thing goin’ on, we both know that it’s wrong but it’s much too strong to let it go now. We gotta be extra careful that we don’t build our hopes up too high, ‘cause she’s got her own obligations and so do I…”
“I have to go, I have to meet Sky and get ready for tonight,” Hadley said forcing her body away from his, the feeling of his erection, hot and huge and hard as steel was seared into her skin and her memory. Damn damn double damn! This was wrong, he was not a welcome diversion and what a dirty trick recreating her parents favorite memory.
“Alright Hadley,” he said, cool as could be, “you have to go… but do you really want to?”
With that she met the smug look on his handsome face, tossed her hair over her shoulder and walked out into the daylight leaving him standing in the dimly lit bar all alone. So you think I’ll just fall into your bed like all the rest of the women you focus your laser-beam charm on, well think again Mr. Townsend! Ugh, so why in hell couldn’t she stop thinking about him and his gargantuan erection for one damned minute.
*
“Are you sleeping with Reef? Or should I say— not sleeping with Reef but doing bad, bad things with him? He is freaking hot but what about Atti?” Hadley asked raising her eyebrows in mock disapproval as she turned so Sky could fasten the last buttons on her elaborate evening gown. Her new stylist had brought dozens of offerings from top designers for Hadley to choose from and be seen and photographed in at the Women in Film event. She had picked the shockingly sexy Zac Posen mesh and sequin confection to wear to the awards ceremony and she wasn’t sure if the gown was to capture the attention of the press or Holden (who might or might not see her on TV) or Cade Townsend who was her escort to the event although she was having misgivings about that decision. Maybe she had chosen the dress because Skyler was well acquainted with wearing the most fabulous clothes in the world and she had assured Hadley it was the best of the best and she looked like a gazillion bucks in it.
“No! I haven’t slept with him, or not slept with him… yet. But it’s heading in that direction and I’m so glad to be free of my dreary all-consuming need for Atticus, I mean it was running and ruining my life. Here, your turn to buckle me into this mesh monstrosity that’s supposed to pass for clothing,” Sky said, and as soon as she caught a glimpse of herself in the gossamer golden dream of a dress she wished Atticus could see her and peel it off her body very slowly with that heart-stopping glint in his eyes….
“You are so not over Atticus, Sky. Your face gets that look whenever you mention him, I swear I could kill my brother for making you fall in love with him.”
“You’re crazy, Hads. I don’t know… what look do you think I get on my face? And he didn’t make me do anything. I’ve loved him forever… I used to love him is what I meant, since before I can even remember.”
“Yeah right, you used to love him and now you don’t cuz that’s how you are, Sky. You’re able to turn your feelings for Atticus off so easily. NOT! The look you get is the whole ‘little girl lost’ thing, like when… like when your dad didn’t come back. Fuck, Sky, I hate that I brought that up. Just please be careful with Reef because you and Atticus are not over and I don’t think you ever will be. What if you get involved with Reef and he wants you to ride off into the sunset on his Harley and be his Old Lady?” Hadley said and Skyler rolled her eyes and they laughed so hard at the image of Skyler on the back of a Harley in a thirty thousand dollar couture gown that tears ran down their faces and they had to hold their stomachs until the laughing jag passed. “Come on Sky, I’m serious. Reef is not a biker dude, I know that. But what if you both think you’re in love and you get married and have a baby and then Atticus shows up and you wish t
o God he was the father of your child?”
“I won’t get pregnant… I can’t,” Sky said and the lost look returned to her face as she sat at the dressing table in the sumptuous hotel suite where she and Hadley were staying and tried to repair her ruined makeup but the tears started pouring again and it was no use to try and stop them.
“Sky, what’s happened? What do you mean you can’t get pregnant? You’re not even twenty years old yet, how could you know something like that?” Hadley asked, kneeling next to her on the floor of the dressing room and taking Sky’s slender hands in hers. Hadley had been given the suite at the Chateau Marmont for the weekend of the awards ceremony and she and Sky had checked in the day before and treated themselves to in-room massages and plenty of room service. They had decided to give their libidos some time to cool off since the interest from Reef and Cade Townsend had happened fast and was wickedly intense.
“I got pregnant when Atticus and I were in New York together a year and half ago. It was when Atti came to tell me he was leaving for SEAL training and he was so adamant that I get on with my life without him. I really meant to, get on with my life, that is. Getting pregnant, it just happened even though I was on birth control and Hads I have to say, I was happy when I found out. I’m doing great at NYU and it’s only going to take me another year and a half to graduate with a degree in Sociology. I’ve applied to law school at USD and your mom has written a letter of recommendation for me since that was her alma mater, she says I’m sure to get in. I thought it would be the next best thing to having a life with Atticus, having his baby, our baby. I could have been happy and oh, how I would have loved that child…” Sky began to sob then and Hadley wrapped her in her arms and cried with her although she wasn’t sure what had gone so terribly wrong if Sky had it all planned out to raise the child on her own.