“So you spent a year washing your own dishes and cleaning your own house?” Lily looked skeptical. “What about cooking?”
“The crew and I took turns in the kitchen.” Justin grinned at her patent disbelief. “I haven’t always been rich, you know. Until I was twelve, I pretty much took care of myself. If I hadn’t learned how to cook a few basic things, I would have gone hungry.”
Lily gave him a startled look.
“What?” he asked. “You don’t believe I could learn to cook?”
“It’s not that.” She shook her head, her expression curious. “Why were you taking care of yourself until you were twelve? Where was your father or the nanny, or the housekeeper or whoever he hired to take care of you and your brothers?”
“I didn’t live with Harry until I was twelve.”
“I thought you’d always lived with your father.”
“No, not until my grandfather died and his wife called Harry to come get me.” Justin really didn’t want to go into the sordid details of those early years he’d spent with his mother before she’d dumped him with her ranch-foreman father and disappeared. By the look on Lily’s face, he guessed she was about to ask more questions. “It’s not important who I lived with as a kid, that’s ancient history,” he continued before she could speak. “What is important is Ava. Now that I know I have a daughter, I can’t walk away from her. You know that, don’t you?”
She crossed her arms over her chest in a defensive gesture and stared at him for a long moment. “Aren’t you going to ask for paternity test?”
“Why would I?”
“Don’t you need proof you’re her father?”
He shook his head, surprised she’d asked. “Lily, she looks like a combination of me and you. Unless you were dating two men with black hair and dimples two years ago, she’s mine.”
Tears welled in her green eyes and she brushed them away with an irritated gesture. “Just when I’m convinced you’re a jerk, you do something nice,” she said, her voice trembling. “Why couldn’t you have been the kind of man who’d deny paternity to keep from paying child support?”
“I’ll pay child support,” he said swiftly, glad she’d been the one to broach the subject. “In fact, I want to talk to my attorney about setting up a college fund for Ava. We should discuss how much you need each month and I’ll have him set up an account for—”
“No.” Lily held up her hand palm out, to stop him. “I don’t want money from you. This isn’t about money. I don’t want Ava being weighed and valued in terms of dollars.” Her face was flushed, her green eyes sparking with conviction.
“Neither do I,” he said calmly. He’d clearly hit a nerve—and she clearly felt passionately about not taking his money. Oh, babe, Harry and Cornelia are going to love you.
“Which is why we will have those blood tests,” she said firmly.
He lifted an eyebrow in surprise, studying her face. “Why?”
“Because if we don’t, the question of whether she is or isn’t your daughter will follow her all her life. I won’t let that happen.”
“All right.” He paused. “Would you like me to take care of the arrangements?”
“Yes, thank you. Unless…” She frowned, thinking. “Are you sure any reporters won’t hear about it?”
“I’ll make sure they don’t. I’ll call a friend at the hospital and ask him to set it up for us.”
“Good.” The tension in her slim form eased. She stared at him for a moment before she shook her head, clearly puzzled. “I can’t believe I’m insisting on paternity tests. I was so sure you’d be the one to demand proof.”
“To what purpose? I’m sure she’s mine.” He smiled slightly, knowing his easy acceptance still baffled Lily. “Besides, I want to be part of Ava’s life—although I know that might not be what you’d planned.”
“None of this is what I planned.” Lily waved her arms at him. “You said goodbye to me. You told me you didn’t do long-term relationships or marriage and all the things that went with it, like children. What’s changed?”
“I saw Ava.” And I’ve never gotten you out of my head.
“That’s it? You saw her and suddenly you want to play daddy?” She was clearly unconvinced, studying him with suspicion. “That’s too simple. There must be more behind your sudden switch from confirmed bachelor to dedicated father.”
There isn’t, but if you ever find out about Harry’s Bride Hunt, you’ll never believe me. The thought chilled Justin.
“Ava’s mine,” he said. “You’re not denying I’m her father, are you?”
“Of course not,” Lily shot back. “I’m just surprised that you’re not more skeptical.”
“We’ve already established I’m glad I have a daughter. I’m also a little surprised and downright stunned, maybe, but glad. I think it’s time we talked about how we’re going to deal with it.”
She stiffened. “What do you mean?”
“I mean I want to be an active participant in her life. I want to help take care of her.”
“Exactly how do you see yourself accomplishing that when your life is in Idaho and Ava is here in Seattle?” Lily asked, her tone wary.
“I’m not sure how I can make it work when I’m at the ranch. But at the moment it’s not a problem since I’m here.”
“For how long?”
“I’m not sure.” It was too soon to tell her he wanted her to marry him so they could share Ava permanently. The suspicion in her eyes and her defensive posture warned him to move carefully. “My being in the city has other benefits—Harry’s happy I’m showing up at the office in person instead of teleconferencing.”
“What happens to the ranch while you’re here?”
“I have a dependable crew. They’ve been with me for years and the foreman is reliable. He’ll take over for me while I’m away.”
“Oh.” She walked to the sink and stood looking out the window at the minuscule backyard, her back to him.
Justin had the distinct impression she was trying to come up with a plan to convince him to return to Idaho. Not that it would work, he thought, but at least she wasn’t flatly denying him access to Ava.
“My calendar’s empty from ten to two tomorrow,” he said. “Can I take you and Ava to lunch?”
She turned, leaning back against the cabinet. “I’m sorry but we can’t—Ava has a playdate with another little girl tomorrow at eleven and I’m packing sack lunches.”
“A playdate?” he said blankly. What the hell is a playdate?
He must have looked as confused as he felt because Lily half smiled at him, her expression easing.
“We’re meeting another mother and her little girl at the Ballard Commons Park so they can play in the sprinklers. It’s a good opportunity for Ava to practice interacting with other children.”
“Ah, I see.” He didn’t, exactly, but at least now he knew a definition for playdate.
“Ava spends her days with adults,” Lily continued. “Parenting experts agree it’s important for children to have the chance to associate with other children, so she has playdates.”
“Does she actually play with other kids? What do they do?”
His earliest memories of playing with other kids involved hitting a baseball; somehow he couldn’t picture Ava swinging a bat.
“One-year-olds don’t really play together,” Lily explained. “Mostly, they play by themselves while they keep an eye on the other child. It gives them a chance to observe, though, and grow accustomed to being around other little people.”
“You know a lot about being a good mother,” he said. “How did you learn all this?”
“I’m sure I must have told you about my Aunt Shirley?”
Justin nodded. “She’s the aunt who raised you after your parents died when you were a baby, right?”
“Yes. I wasn’t sure you’d remember.” Lily smiled at him, her gaze softening. “She was an amazing mother to me, although she’d never been married or had ch
ildren of her own. When I called her in San Francisco to tell her I was pregnant and about how worried I was about being a good mom, she convinced me I’d muddle through. And she was right—somehow I’ve managed to do this for a whole year,” she laughed, her posture relaxed. “Mostly through trial and error. Plus there are literally hundreds of books available for new mothers, filled with great information.”
“I can see I’ll have to start reading, I’ve got a lot to catch up on. I’m assuming there are books for fathers, too?”
“Yes.” Her gaze met his, warm with shared understanding for a brief moment. Then she appeared to realize she’d dropped the barriers between them and she looked at her watch. “Well, um…it’s getting late. I still have work to do tonight.”
“I’ll take off.” He left the kitchen area and she followed him to the foyer. “Would you mind if I dropped by the park tomorrow?”
Her mouth tightened and he was sure she was going to refuse. But then she seemed to rethink and reluctantly nodded. “I’m sure Ava would be happy to see you.”
“Then I’ll see you both tomorrow.” He pulled open the door and paused, looking down at her. A curl lay against her cheek, and without thinking, he brushed it back, tucking the silky hair behind her ear.
Lily instantly ducked away from his hand. “Don’t.”
“Don’t?” Justin echoed, shoving his fingertips into his jeans pockets to keep from reaching for her. Only a moment earlier, she’d let him touch her cheek and hair, but now instinct told him she’d only move farther away if he did what his body urged him to do and tried to pull her close.
Those brief moments of ease between them as they discussed Ava were gone, and she was once again barricaded behind thick emotional walls. He couldn’t blame her. He knew she had good reasons not to trust him, but her rejections, coming on the heels of those earlier warm moments, made his heart ache.
She folded her arms across her chest, hugging herself defensively. “I want to be perfectly clear, Justin, none of this is about us. There is no ‘us.’ You’re here in my house because you’re Ava’s father. We have no other connection.”
“No?” His voice rumbled, deep and gravelly. “Are you sure about that?”
“Absolutely.” Her chin firmed with stubbornness.
“If you say so,” he said, his voice neutral. If she wanted to believe that, fine. He knew damn well there was a lot of something between them, but she seemed determined to deny the heat that arced between them, and for some reason, he didn’t want to force the issue. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to jeopardize the truce they’d called for Ava’s sake; maybe it was because he felt badly because of the way their earlier relationship had ended. Or maybe it was because she looked so damned wary, as if she’d run if he made a move toward her. Whatever it was, he wasn’t willing to rock the boat and risk scaring her off.
“So…” His voice rasped and he cleared his throat. “I’ll see you and Ava tomorrow, then.”
She nodded without speaking and he jogged down her front steps, hearing the door close behind him with a decisive click.
I’ve got a lot of damage to undo before I suggest we get married for Ava’s sake, he realized. I have to convince her to trust me again.
He only wished he knew how the hell he was going to do that.
Chapter 4
The Ballard Commons Park was semi-busy a half hour before lunch. Mothers occupied the benches and watched their children playing in the small, knee-high geysers of water erupting from the ground-level sprinklers in the concrete pad. On the far side of the concrete area, several older boys and girls rode skateboards back and forth.
“Wow, is that your guy?”
Lily looked up from adjusting Ava’s damp bathing suit. Seated on the bench beside her, Chris focused her gaze on the street to their left, her eyes wide.
Lily half turned to look over her shoulder. Her heart stuttered as she caught sight of Justin walking across the strip of grass separating the sidewalk and street from the sprinkler area. He wore cowboy boots, faded Levi’s and a white T-shirt with a small ranch logo over his upper left chest. The white cotton stretched over his biceps, his muscled arms tanned and powerful. She couldn’t see his eyes behind his Ray-Ban sunglasses, but she could feel the intensity of his gaze as he strode toward them.
“Um, yes. That’s him,” she managed to say when she realized Chris was staring at her.
“Sooo,” Chris said, amusement and curiosity on her face as she handed a cracker to her two-year-old daughter, Amanda. “You didn’t tell me you two are an item.”
“We’re not an item,” Lily denied vehemently before remembering she definitely didn’t want to confess that the reason she was seeing Justin was because he was Ava’s father. “I mean, not exactly.”
“Of course you’re not,” Chris said with patent disbelief. Amanda tugged on her sleeve and Chris popped an apple slice into the little girl’s mouth, laughing with the toddler when the juice ran down her chin.
Lily would have made a further denial but Justin reached the bench where they sat.
“Good morning, Lily.” He smiled at her, Chris and Amanda, then tickled Ava under her chin. “Hey, peanut, how’s my girl?”
Ava giggled, squirmed and babbled back at him before she held out both arms. He looked ridiculously pleased and surprised before he shot a quick, questioning look at Lily. When she nodded her permission, he slipped his hands around Ava’s waist and picked her up, cradling her awkwardly against his chest.
She responded by chortling and patting his face with her hands before she reached for his Ray-Bans.
“Hey, wait a minute,” he protested, laughing as he juggled her closer and caught one of her tiny hands in his.
“Don’t let her take your glasses,” Lily warned. “Everything goes in her mouth and she’ll chew on them. And very likely break them, too.”
“Uh-oh.” Justin shifted the glasses atop his head with one hand, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled at Ava. He brushed his hand over her curls. “Hey, you’re damp.” He looked at Lily. “Has she been in the water already?”
“Yes, she loves it.”
“Mind if I take her again?”
“Not at all, go ahead.”
“If you’ll hold her, I’ll take off my boots.” He handed Ava back to Lily and sat down next to her on the end of the bench.
Chris nudged Lily and waggled her eyebrows, looking significantly at Justin.
“Justin, I’d like you to meet my friend, Chris, and her daughter, Amanda. Chris, this is Justin. He lives in Idaho,” she added pointedly.
“That would explain the cowboy boots,” Chris commented with a grin. “Hi, Justin.”
“Hi, Chris. Nice to meet you.” Justin smiled at Chris, gave Lily a swift, narrow-eyed glance and leaned forward to pull off his boots.
“How long are you going to be here in Seattle?” Chris asked.
“Indefinitely.” Justin stuffed his socks into his boots, shoved them under the bench and stood. He took Ava from Lily. “Certainly weeks, maybe for months, maybe longer.”
Lily stared at him, taken aback. He was kidding, wasn’t he?
He smiled at her and winked, dimples appearing in his cheeks, before he strolled off, carrying on a murmured conversation with Ava.
“Be still my heart.” Chris pressed her palm to her chest. She sounded faintly breathless. “He even has dimples. He’s gorgeous. Why haven’t you told me about him?” she demanded, her expression curious and speculative as she looked from Justin to Lily.
“There’s nothing to tell,” Lily protested. “He’s an acquaintance who’s visiting in town and I’ve seen him a few times over the last week, that’s all.”
“He doesn’t look at you as if you two are ‘just friends.’ I’m guessing there’s a lot more to this than you’re telling me, especially since he looks just like Ava,” Chris said. “But, hey, if you don’t want to share info…” Her voice trailed off, her expression hopeful.
&nbs
p; Lily pretended not to hear the invitation in Chris’s voice to confide details about Justin. She wasn’t ready to tell anyone Justin was Ava’s father, especially since she was fairly certain it wouldn’t be long before Chris discovered Justin’s identity as Harrison Hunt’s son.
“Mommy.” Amanda tugged on Chris’s hand. “Let’s play.”
“Okay, hon.” Chris stood. “Ready to get wet again, Lily?”
“Thanks, I think I’ll pass.” Lily stretched out her legs, bare and still damp beneath the hem of her short full skirt, as Chris and Amanda walked away, hand
in hand.
Justin and Ava were on the far side of the bank of spinklers. His jeans were spattered with water from his knees to the hems. He held Ava’s hand as she walked, sometimes staggering uncertainly, sometimes wobbling, but always with a determination that was palpable.
The sun gleamed on their heads, their hair identical shades of coal-black. Ava giggled as she reached for a jet of water and it sprayed her face. She looked up at Justin, dimples denting her round baby cheeks as he laughed down at her, and Lily’s heart wrenched.
They look so much alike, she realized. Daddy and daughter at play. If Chris hadn’t guessed already, she soon would.
She felt her resolve to keep her heart frozen and Justin at arm’s length weakening as she watched him swing Ava up and brush water drops from her cheeks.
Bouquets of summer flowers from the Gazebo were arriving on her doorstep every day, but the gifts didn’t change her feelings toward Justin.
The laughter on Ava’s face as Justin swung her in a circle and then lowered her toward the small jet of water, however, threatened to put a huge dent in her belief that he was strictly bad news.
An hour later, Lily waved goodbye as Chris and Amanda pulled away from the park, relieved that her friend apparently hadn’t identified Justin. Still, it was only a matter of time. Lily had to wonder how long before some newspaper reporter spotted Justin with Ava and put two and two together.
She hoped that day was far in the future. She wasn’t ready to field questions about Justin’s place in her and Ava’s life.
The Princess And The Cowboy Page 5