by Claire Adams
I groaned. “She spoke to you.”
“Just before I came up here to speak to you,” Molly informed me.
“She’s always liked to stir things up—”
“Really?” Molly said, cutting me off. “I kind of thought that was you?”
“Let me explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain,” she said. “Like I said, you made yourself extremely clear. You let me think that Emma was some random woman you were fucking because it was easier than admitting to me that you didn’t love me and that you were only interested in sex.”
“Whoa, hold on—”
“Let’s not get into it, Tristan, okay?” Molly said, turning towards the door. “I just came up here to tell you that you don’t need to continue with the pretense. Let’s just put this whole thing behind us and get on with our jobs.”
“No,” I said firmly, darting in front of Molly and blocking her path. “Not until you hear me out.”
“Why are you interested in explaining things now?”
“Because you’ve got it wrong,” I said.
“Oh, really? What have I got wrong?”
“I let you believe that I had cheated on you because I loved you,” I said, wondering if that even made sense. “Not because I didn’t.”
She frowned at me. “You just heard yourself, right?”
“Molly,” I said, frustrated that I couldn’t seem to get my point across. “I’m an asshole, okay? I’m not good with women, and I’m terrible at relationships. I’ve been through more girls than I can count and in every single story, I don’t come off well. Ask my ex-girlfriends, and I’m sure they’ll be delighted to tell you.”
“What’s your point?” Molly demanded.
“My point is that I would have done to you what I did to them,” I said. “I would have neglected you into leaving me. Hell, I was neglecting you for the past few months before you left. I would have ended up screwing this up at some point in the future. Then you would have left me and… It would have been harder to get over, for both of us.”
Molly frowned, in confusion. “Are you serious?” she asked. “That’s the reason you let me believe you were cheating on me?”
“I’ve never felt guilty about how things ended with my previous girlfriends,” I admitted. “And, that’s because I didn’t love any of them. Our connections were based on sex and that fizzled out eventually.
“But with you and me… It was different. You were the only woman I dreamed about that I felt I could never get. Then things happened between us and I was so weak that I let it happen. And it was better than I could have imagined.
“But then work caught up with me, and I realized I was falling back into the old patterns. Work was becoming my focus and I realized that at some point, I would repeat all the mistakes I’d made in the past. But this time, I respected you, I loved you and I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you… So I thought it would be easier to let you make your assumptions to save you a whole lot of pain later on down the line.”
Molly stared at me, and all I wanted to do was grab her and kiss her. Looking into her eyes, I realized something. I realized how stupid I had been and how ridiculous my reasoning had been. Emma was right. I was a coward. And I had been too foolish to see that I had the ability to change my life, I had the power to control my future and I had the ability to make the right choices. Instead of trusting myself, I had pushed Molly away because I hadn’t been confident in my own feelings.
“Molly,” I said, taking a step towards her.
She backed away from me as though my very proximity was hurting her. “No,” she said. “Don’t.”
“I don’t deserve you Molly,” I said softly.
When Molly looked at me I could see the hurt radiating from her forget-me-not blue eyes. “You’re right,” she said. “You don’t.”
Chapter 38
Molly
His explanation sent a rage of emotion surging through me. At first, I found it laughably funny, then I realized how heartbreaking it all was, and then lastly came the anger. He had done all this just to get out of hurting me in the future? He had done all this because he might, possibly, maybe, perhaps, one-day screw things up between us?
Didn’t he realize that not being with him would hurt me either way? Whether it was now or ten years from now, it would always hurt, because Tristan was my soulmate. He was the person I was meant to be with and no matter how it happened or when it happened it would hurt to not be with him.
I was willing to try and move on when I had assumed he wanted nothing more to do with me. But to know that he still had feelings for me and had pushed me away for this hypothetical future scenario was mindboggling.
“Molly,” he said.
The sound of his voice saying my name was the catalyst. I walked forward and without even thinking about it, my hand whizzed through the air and made contact with the side of his face. Tristan’s face snapped back, but his body remained motionless. We both froze in place and a moment later, he looked towards me with eyes that were tortured and uncertain.
“I guess I deserved that,” he said softly.
I tried to push back the tears as I faced him. “You deserve worse.”
“I know,” he nodded. “Molly… I’m so sorry.”
I felt a tear slip free, and I tried to brush it away quickly. Tristan moved towards me as though he wanted to hold me, but I held up my hand and took a step back from him.
“No,” I said. “You don’t get to comfort me—not after you did what you did.”
He stopped immediately and dropped his hand. We stood like that for a long time, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to break the silence.
“Would you like to sit down?” Tristan asked at last.
I nodded silently, and we walked towards his desk. Instead of sitting in his usual seat, Tristan chose to sit in the chair opposite mine so that we were only inches apart. I pushed back the remaining tears from my eyes and glanced up towards him. His eyes were fixed on me and he looked truly sorry.
“Why didn’t you talk to me about all this?” I asked, breaking the long silence.
“Because I knew what you would say,” I said. “You would try and convince me that it would be different with us.”
“And what’s the real problem, Tristan?” I demanded. “I think the real problem is that you have no confidence in yourself.”
“It is,” he acknowledged. “I realized that just recently.”
“So what are you trying to say?” I asked. “You don’t believe you have the capacity to give our relationship a fair shake, you don’t believe you can be there for me? Or is it that you don’t know if you can be faithful to me?”
“I was scared of all those things,” he admitted.
“Why?”
He paused for a moment and I saw the uncertainty in his eyes. “Because I am my father’s son,” he said. “And, I took over his empire. Mom left him because she was sick of waiting around for a man who was more in love with his empire than with his family.”
“I get it,” she sighed. “I understand why that was a problem for them. But we’re not them Tristan, how could you assume it would be the same for us?”
“Because that has been the case for every relationship I’ve had before you,” he said. “Do you know that my longest relationship before you lasted three months? Three months—that’s it.”
“Did you love any of your ex-girlfriends?”
“No,” he replied. “I can say that with every confidence. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved.”
The moment the words were out of his mouth, he froze as though his deepest secret had just been found out. I looked at him with wide eyes. “What did you just say?”
“I…”
I could see him grappling with the words in his head. It looked like he was surprised himself, as though the realization that he had finally fallen in love with someone was a reality he had never envisioned for himself.
�
�I said, you’re the only woman… I’ve ever loved,” Tristan said slowly, as though he needed to hear it himself, too.
I felt a burst of happiness in my gut, and I wanted to run into Tristan’s arms right then and there. But I sensed the need to hold myself at a distance, at least for now. There were still things we needed to talk about, and I wasn’t prepared to be blind anymore. I had loved Tristan for ten years, but I wasn’t about to compromise my life or myself simply because he had said he loved me.
“Tristan?” I said.
“Yes?”
“You never slept with anyone else while we were together, did you?” I asked.
“No,” he replied. “I never did.”
“And the woman in your shower was—”
“Emma,” he replied, before I could finish the question. “It was only ever Emma.”
“And since we broke up, have you slept with anyone else?” I wanted to know. “And please, please be honest with me.”
Tristan leaned in towards me. “I haven’t slept with anyone else,” he said. “I haven’t even considered sleeping with anyone else. These last few weeks that you’ve been gone… They were hell, Molly. Honestly, it was like I was living in some awful nightmare. And I tried to tell myself it would pass, but seeing you now… I know that it won’t pass.
“I love you, Molly Sinclair…and I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
I felt my heart open up to him instantly, and I realized that I hadn’t been doing a very good job of getting over Tristan. I had simply been in denial. This was the real reason I had come back to Hawaii, to make sure that whatever had stood between us was gone…for both of us. But clearly, that was not the case.
“Molly…”
Tristan sounded nervous suddenly, and I searched his face for some other revelation that would leave me with doubt.
“Yes?”
“The job is yours,” he said. “It’s been waiting for you all this time. You can start immediately.”
“Oh,” I said, not having expected that. “Okay…”
“I know you came back for the job,” he continued. “But I would ask you to consider staying for something else…someone else.”
I felt a smile slip onto my face.
“Would you consider taking me back, Molly?” he asked. “Would you consider coming back to me? Or have I screwed up too badly? Have I hurt you too much to expect you to still love me?”
I stared at Tristan for a long five seconds, memorizing the way his face looked in that moment. He was unbearably handsome, striking and raw. He was bearing his heart to me, and I knew that he was making an unspoken promise, a new commitment that would cement our relationship and take it to a state of permanence.
“Of course, I still love you,” I breathed, feeling the intense relief that came with saying the words. “I’ve loved you since I was fourteen years old. I’m not going to stop now.”
Our eyes met and I saw the burst of relief flow into his eyes. The next moment, we had leaped off our seats and into each other’s arms. I had never felt an embrace like that one before. We clung to each other, trying to get as close as possible. I could feel Tristan’s heartbeat racing against my own. I could feel his hurried breath. I could feel the way his pulse raced ahead, as though it were running a sprint.
When his lips met mine, it felt like the entire world, which had been off its axis for the last five weeks, righted itself again. Suddenly everything was back to normal, everything made sense again.
Our bodies collided like two powerful waves meeting at the end of a long journey. It was a crash that I felt deep inside me. When Tristan began ripping at my clothes, I returned the favor and began pulling at his shirt, unbuckling his pants and grappling with his hands as they rushed over my body.
His lips were searing hot as they grazed my neck, my lips, and my breasts. He pushed me against his desk, and I felt the clatter of unimportant stationary as it hit the ground. Tristan didn’t even blink—he just kept going and I could see the need in his eyes. I massaged his cock as he pulled the dress off me. I knew he wanted me naked—just as I wanted the same of him. We had been too long without one another’s bodies, and I craved the carnal heat of his skin.
When we were both naked, Tristan pushed me back against his desk until I was spread-eagled against the cold wood. When he pushed himself inside me, I let out a loud gasp and grabbed at his toned and muscular arms. He fucked me hard, almost brutally, but it was perfect, it was freeing, and it was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to feel the hard fierceness of his cock as he slammed into me.
My body was alive with lust and desire, and I came faster than I had ever expected to. Tristan was not done, however, and he kept fucking me until gasps and moans were forced from my mouth without my permission. All I could do was cling to him and scream. Just when the second orgasm was about to hit, Tristan pulled me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Pulling me closer into the curve of his body, he kept fucking me.
Our faces were inches apart. I could see the heat of his dark eyes bore into mine, and it made our love making that much more intense. Each time he slipped in and out of me, I felt our connection grow deeper and stronger. This was more than just sex—this was our promise to one another. This was Tristan telling me that he was going to do his best; he was going to try harder. This was me telling Tristan that I wouldn’t leave again, this was me promising him that I would always be there to support and help him.
The second time, he kissed me passionately as we came together in chaos made of moans and screams and gasps of pleasure. He held me afterwards, as I leaned against him. We were both sweating slightly, and I breathed in deeply, realizing that I had missed the musky sensual smell of him.
“This is it, right?” Tristan whispered in my ear.
“It is,” I nodded. “No more getting scared, okay?”
“I can’t promise that,” he told me honestly. “But I promise to come to you if ever I get scared again.”
I smiled and kissed his brow softly. “I can live with that,” I said.
Chapter 39
Tristan
Three Months Later
“I understand it’s irregular,” I said. “But the kitchen on the island wasn’t made to withstand heavy cooking. I need the hotel to bear the brunt of the cooking. Cover over the food with foil if you must and get it on the boats as fast as possible.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Thank you,” I nodded, before I hung up.
Sighing, I sat back down in my chair just before Ben walked in. He was looking at his clipboard with a frown on his face.
“Please tell me that everything is going smoothly?”
“Uh… I could tell you that,” he replied. “But it wouldn’t be true.”
“Fuck,” I swore. “What is it now?”
He smiled. “I’m kidding, everything is fine,” he said. “You worry too much.”
“Can you blame me?” I asked. “Planning this thing has been a nightmare.”
“You should have let Emma plan it.”
“Oh sure,” I nodded sarcastically. “Brilliant idea, that would have gone down really well.”
“I didn’t expect to find you here,” he said. “I thought you’d still be with your mother.”
“Shit,” I said, jumping out of my seat. “I completely forgot.”
“You forgot to welcome her to your resort?”
“I got a call from Alfonso, okay?” I said. “I’d better head down there. Has she been checked in?”
“Of course.”
“Great, thanks.”
I ran down the hall and into the elevator. When I arrived at the lobby, I saw my mother standing by a huge bouquet of flowers, admiring the view while she sipped a cocktail. She was wearing an ivory skirt suit and high heels that looked painful.
“Hi, Mom,” I said, as I approached her. “Sorry I’m late.”
She embraced me with a smile. “Business meeting ran late?” she asked.
“Actually, no,” I said.
“I was just sorting out some last-minute arrangements for the engagement party.”
“Really?” she said, raising her eyebrows.
“Uh…yeah,” I nodded. “Why?”
“I didn’t realize you had planned this party yourself.”
“Well, it was meant to be a surprise for Molly,” I admitted. “Except that she found out two days ago, so the surprise part didn’t work out. But I didn’t want her to have to do the work for this dinner. I just want her to enjoy herself; she’s been working so hard lately.”
Mom looked at me with surprise in her eyes. “Do you realize that it’s been a year since I’ve seen you.”
“That can’t be.”
“It is.”
“Wow, time flies, huh?” I said. “Let’s walk down to the lounge bar; we can sit and catch up there.”
She cast a critical eye over the resort as we moved through the wide corridors and the pillared halls. “It’s a beautiful hotel, son,” she said admiringly. “It’s different, though.”
“Dad liked modern architecture,” I said. “I prefer a mix.”
“I can see that,” she nodded as we walked into the lounge bar.
We sat down, and I ordered the finest champagne we had to offer. “So,” she said. “Where is Molly?”
“She’s finishing up a meeting,” I said. “She should be here any minute.”
“A meeting?” she repeated. “She seems to be as busy as you are.”
“She’s been a Godsend,” I said. “She’s really helped relieve my workload.”
“And, she doesn’t mind the hours you have to work?”
“She understands completely,” I said. “She’s been really supportive. And I’ve tried to balance things out now… I want to be there for her.”
“I have to be honest,” Mom said, shaking her head at me. “I never thought I’d see this day. I honestly thought you’d never get married. You were so much like your father.”
“Dad got married,” I reminded her.
“Sure, but he was never any good at it,” she said. “We had an engagement party, too, right after he proposed to me. Except he was so busy that he made me plan the whole thing. He showed up late because he had meetings all day, and he answered every call he received that night.”