I have no idea what will become of my father once my mom is gone. Rae and I will make sure he still has his family.
Jason puts the guitar down after three songs and we all clap. He wears a sheepish smile as he looks at each of us.
“It’s almost time for supper. You’ll stay to eat with us, right, young man?” My dad asks Jason as he picks himself up from the couch.
“Um…” Jason looks at me.
“I won’t take no for an answer. You’ve been a great visitor, offering free entertainment and all.”
“Thank you, sir,” Jason responds.
“I want to help cook,” Rae scurries into the kitchen.
I walk up to Jason and he tugs my arm so I fall onto his lap.
“Thank you.” I hold his face.
“You’re welcome. I’m happy to be here. Your dad is great.”
“He is. He’s always been one of my favorite people.” Jason touches his lips to mine for the briefest of moments. I place my head on his shoulder, his hand running up and down my leg.
“I need to assist my mom in the bath. Are you okay out here with my dad and Rae for some time?”
“Of course. Do what you have to do. I’ll help them in the kitchen.” He squeezes my knee.
I’ve questioned if he’s real. This all seems like some kind of dream. When I found out I was pregnant with Rae, I knew I wouldn’t have a complete family or loving relationship with her father. I don’t even remember his name. What I never imagined was meeting someone who could give me that, although he’s not her biological father. I keep wondering if I’ll wake up to a stark reality that this was all a dream.
I kiss Jason’s cheek and wheel my mom into the bathroom so I can help her into the tub. Having this role with my mom is humbling. It has put life into perspective. She always took care of me, and I never imagined we’d be in a position where she would be reliant on me to care of her.
It was smart of my dad to invest in this tub with a side door. I’m glad someone thought of creating something that would be beneficial to the senior community. I open the door and help ease my mom onto the built-in bench. I make sure the water is warm and help her wash up.
She’s frail. Each week I see her slowly slip away. The doctor said it’s a good sign that she’s still able to move, even if it’s with our help. It’s important for the skin so it won’t tear or bruise, since that causes her to be prone to infections, which could be deadly.
After I finish bathing her, I brush her hair and hum. It’s kept short, but I take my time caring for her.
Dressed and refreshed, I bring her out into the kitchen. Jason, my dad, and Rae are all singing to the song on the radio as they each tackle a task in meal prepping. I place my mom at the table in her chair and join them.
“Chop some garlic.” Jason hands me a knife and cutting board. I work on the garlic, the aroma potent and delicious. I’m a firm believer that garlic makes every meal better. My dad is stirring a pot with cubed potatoes in it and Rae is measuring milk.
“Mashed potatoes?” I ask Jason.
“Yup. I seasoned pork chops and they’re cooking in the oven.”
“Special recipe?” I tease.
“Always.” He winks.
Once the food is ready, we eat together, conversing and laughing.
“I have a surprise for dessert,” Rae announces. She skips to the pantry and brings out the box of chocolate chip cookies. Then she opens the freezer and pulls out the vanilla ice cream. My mom loves ice cream and it’s one of the foods that sits well with her. Go figure. She hasn’t lost her sweet tooth.
I collect the plates and ask Rae if she needs help. She shakes her and instructs me to sit back down. She balances four plates and a bowl with spoons in it. Then, she brings over the ice cream carton and the cookies. As soon as she takes her seat again, she serves a scoop of ice cream in the bowl. “Can you pass that to Grandma?” She looks at me with focused eyes. I nod and smile, doing what she’s asked.
After, she begins to assemble ice cream sandwiches, handing each of us a plate with one.
“Thank you,” Jason says. “You should open an ice cream shop, Rae Rae.”
“Ohhh! That would be fun!” She bounces in her seat. Ice cream shop. Bakery. Restaurant. My girl wants it all.
“This is delicious,” my dad compliments. Rae is all smiles as we each enjoy our dessert.
After my parents are in their room and Rae is in bed, I sit with Jason on the couch.
“I can’t thank you enough for today.” Our morning was rough and I was angry for his assumptions, but this man holds my heart. We need to talk things out.
“It’s the least I can do. Are we still on for dinner tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Jason lifts a brow. “As long as everything is okay here, yes. I want to spend time with you.”
Jason brings my legs onto his lap and runs his hands up and down them. “I admire you. Not only are you an amazing mother, but you have the heart of an angel. Watching you today showed me just how special you are.”
I roll my eyes. I don’t take compliments well. “It’s my job.”
“No, babe. You could’ve stayed at home, visited when you had a day off, and done what you could. You changed your entire life around selflessly.”
“They’re my parents. They did that for me time and time again. They deserve it.”
“Exactly. Your compassion is boundless.” He leans forward and kisses me. The scruff on his face is a combination of soft scratching and tickling on my skin. I welcome the sensation and wrap my arms around his neck. We stop before it gets too far, leaving me breathless.
“I hate to end this kiss, but it’s not the right time,” Jason says, running a hand through his hair.
“I know.”
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at eight-thirty. Do you think that’s a good time?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I’ll look up places not too far from here for us to go to.”
“Oh, there’s this place I used to love. It’s nothing fancy, and I’m not sure it’s still open.”
“What’s the name? I’ll check,” Jason offers.
“Buns. It’s a burger joint, and they’re greasy, but so worth it.” My mouth is watering. “And their milkshakes were the best. And their onion rings. Oh God, I sound like a fatty.”
Jason chuckles. “Nope. I like that you eat greasy burgers the same way you eat salads. Sometimes we need the comfort of something familiar.”
“Yup,” I smile.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.” I walk Jason to the door, wishing he could stay. “Goodnight.” He cradles my face and kisses me again. I hug him to me, hesitant to release him. Having him here today has been wonderful. It’s helped me feel more grounded and all of us were in a better mood.
“Goodnight,” I tell him once I release him.
I drag myself to bed, wondering how we’ll be able to build a stable relationship in the situation we’re in.
Jason arrives right at eighty-thirty and everything in the house is settled, for the most part. Rae isn’t in bed yet. She asked me if she could stay up to see Jason and then promised she’d go to bed.
“Hey, Rae Rae.” Jason bends down and hugs her.
“Hi.” She yawns as she attempts to smile. “Mommy said I could say hi before going to sleep.”
“I’m glad you waited up,” he rubs the top of her head, causing her to giggle. She’s holding tight to an old stuffed animal of mine. She’s grown attached to the elephant.
“I’m going to tuck her in and I’ll be right back,” I tell Jason.
“Take your time,” he nods.
Back in the room, Rae hops into bed and I tuck her in. I kiss her forehead and wish her a goodnight.
“Have fun, Mommy. I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby. You’ll be okay here?” I rather leave her sleeping than awake. Now that the evening arrived, I’m nervous about leaving her here. My dad is in his room, but it’s not the same a
s when she’s being watched by Abigail, who solely cares for her.
“Yeah,” Rae yawns. Her eyes are small as she shifts in the bed. She’ll be asleep before we walk out the front door.
“Remember to call Grandpa if you need anything.”
“Mhmm,” she replies.
I close the door behind me and tiptoe back to the living room. “She’s out.”
Jason holds my hand and kisses my cheek. “She’ll be okay,” he comforts me.
I nod. She will be, but this is new for me and she’s my baby girl.
We pull into Buns’ parking lot, and we’re seated almost immediately when we walk in. The memories of my teen years jump out at me from the old, black and white photographs on the wall to the vinyl seating. “The barbecue burger was the best,” I tell Jason.
“You weren’t kidding when you mentioned this place. They have a ton of options.”
“I know.” I scan the menu, although I know I’ll order the barbecue burger with a side of onion rings. Jason orders a bacon double cheeseburger with fries.
“I got a call from the coffee shop today,” I begin.
“You did?” His eyes light up.
I nod. “I’m going tomorrow to meet the manager for an interview.”
“That’s great. Congrats, babe.”
“Thanks. I’m staying level-headed, but seems like they need an extra hand in the summer.”
“I’m proud of you.”
“Let’s not celebrate yet. Coffee is new to me. The most I’ve done is run a normal coffee maker at Joyce’s. Espresso and fancy coffees are different, but I’m a quick learner.”
“I have no doubt you can do it,” Jason praises.
“How are things going with the band? All we talk about is my family, and I want to hear about you.”
“We’re good. We got details for the movie soundtrack and began working on a song.”
“Tell me more about this movie.” I think it’s amazing that they will be creating music for a film.
“It was a no-brainer for us to say yes. Besides the fact that we respect the hell out of our service men and women, Bri’s husband was a solider who died while serving our nation. He was a buddy of ours, too.”
“Wow, that’s admirable. Wait, aren’t Bri and Cole…?” Jason nods. “Was that awkward at first, if y’all knew her husband?”
“You have no idea,” he chuckles. “Cole also wasn’t the most, um… not the kind of guy to settle… if you catch my drift. He had a bit of a reputation.”
“So he slept around?” I say.
“Oh, yeah.” Jason runs a hand through his hair and laughs. “A lot.”
“And now he doesn’t,” I add.
“No. Actually, I didn’t notice, but he had stopped fooling around once Josh passed away. Their start was rocky, but they’re in a good place now.”
“They live together now, right?” I remember him mentioning that.
“Yup. Happy as two peas in a pod.” Jason’s smirk is lopsided, and I’m attracted to it like a mouse to cheese.
The waitress interrupts my ogling when she brings our dinner. He’s told me a little bit about each of his friends. When I meet them, I won’t go in so blind. When I meet them. It’s okay to assume I will, right?
Jason takes a bite of his burger and nods his head. “You were right. This place is good.”
I smile. “Told ya. We’d hang out here when I was in high school, but I’ve been coming here since I was about Rae’s age. I’m glad it’s still around.”
Jason and I share our fries and onion rings as we eat our burgers and continue the conversation. I tell him more about growing up in this area and my favorite things to do.
“Do you have room for a milk shake?” Jason asks.
I rub my belly. “I should say no, but it’s too tempting. Want to share one?”
“Works for me. You choose, since you’re the Buns pro.”
I giggle and look at the menu for any new flavors. I keep it traditional, asking him, “Oreo shake?”
“Perfect.” Jason waves the waitress down and orders the shake as she clears the table. Then, he stands and walks around the table. He takes a seat next to me in the booth and puts his arm around me. “Better.”
I bite down a smile. Jason leans in for an innocent kiss, resting his free hand on my knee. Once again, the waitress interrupts us as she places the milk shake in front of us, smiling.
“You’re not worried about being noticed?” I ask Jason before taking a sip of the sweetness.
“Nah. I’m spending time with you, not worrying about other people.”
“I needed this. Thank you.” I kiss his cheek. He moves his arm from around my shoulder and sneaks it in behind my back to wrap around my waist. He squeezes my hip and smiles.
“I’m glad we had this time,” he whispers into my ear.
As we walk out of the restaurant, I hear, “Hey.” I turn around and see a guy stand from one of the tables closer to the entrance. He’s sitting with three other people. My eyebrows furrow as I look at him.
“I know you,” he says as he approaches us. Jason turns as well and looks down at me with a raised brow.
When the man gets closer, blurry memories begin to surface. My heart kicks into overdrive, and I clamp down on Jason’s hand, causing him to jolt.
“It’s been a long time. We met on your twenty-first birthday. Cassidy, right?” The man tilts his head and looks at me. My eyes are wide as I stare at him. Jason looks at him as well.
I nod my head.
“How are you? I went back looking for you some time after, but you were gone.”
“Oh, um… hi. Yeah, I’m good. I gotta go.” I fumble over my words. Flashes of the one night that changed my life rush through the front of my mind.
He looks at Jason, who seems ready to pounce on him. I tug his hand to drag him away, desperate to leave. How the hell did my past catch up to me? I was certain it never would.
As I race out of the building, I gasp for air and release Jason’s hand so I can lift my arms and breathe.
“Cassidy Rae?” Jason’s voice is eerily quiet. Tears burn my eyes. He knew my name. How the hell do I not remember his? Tequila shots, that’s why.
I ignore Jason, who is rooted to the ground, as I fight back the desire to puke the meal we just ate. I move away from the door, so I don’t cause attention. Jason follows, giving me space.
“Was that?” He looks from the building back to me. “She looks like him.”
I shake my head. No. Rae always looked like me. The only difference was her eyes. She can’t look like him. She can’t. If he sees her, he’ll know. What happens then?
“Baby, I need you to talk to me.” I look up at him, tears staining my face. I tremble.
Jason rushes to me, holding me tight. “It’s okay. I need you to breathe so you can talk to me calmly.”
My breathing is ragged as I try to fill my lungs. Somehow, Jason guides us to his car and opens the door for me, sliding me into the passenger seat. When he sits on his side he turns to look at me.
“Cassidy Rae.” I look at him. “What’s going on?”
“That was…” I can’t admit it.
“I know.” He intertwines our fingers.
“He remembered me. I was drunk. I assumed he was, too. We were all drinking together. If he finds out about Rae, could he take her away from me?”
“Shhh…” Jason coos as I cry into his shoulder. “I’m not familiar with the laws, but I don’t think it’s that easy. You don’t even know if he’d want that.”
“He came back to look for me.”
I look at Jason. If Rae’s dad came back to look for me, that means he was looking for something. Had he known I was pregnant, would he want to have been in Rae’s life? Did I take that chance away from him and Rae by not staying or seeking him out?
“What am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know.” Jason carves paths through his hair with his fingers. The lines on his forehead are
etched with worry.
“If he sees her…” The idea of losing Rae or having some kind of custody battle sickens me. She’s mine. She’s been the one thing I’m most proud of.
“We don’t know anything.”
“Am I supposed to tell him? If you were him, would you want to know?”
“I don’t… I’m not sure.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. That’s not fair. This isn’t fair to you.” I lean back on the passenger seat and close my eyes. I can tell him and let him decide what he wants to do, or I don’t tell him and pray we never run into him again. That could cause more problems.
“Look at me, Cassidy Rae,” Jason demands.
I turn my head and stare.
“You do not have to make a rash decision. I will talk to my lawyer tomorrow. I’ll get the facts and we’ll go from there.” Hearing him say we provokes my emotions again. This is on me, yet he’s taking a part in it. I want to tell him he doesn’t have to do that, but I don’t have a lawyer I can consult. I don’t have anyone with legal background I can approach about this, so I nod.
“Give me a few days.” Jason’s hand holds the back of my neck, his thumb massaging me.
“She’s my baby.”
“I know. I don’t see a reason for you to lose custody. You’re a great mother. You’ve worked hard to keep her safe, nourished, and clean. You have people who could speak up for you and offer testimonies.”
I listen to Jason talk about all this and I’m distraught with the thought of going to court.
“He’ll need a paternity test,” Jason continues.
“He’s her father,” I confirm.
“I know, but the court will want that evidence. It will buy you time.”
“He may not even care,” I sound unconvincing.
Jason smiles. “Exactly.”
The words, I went back, continue to play in my mind and I remember what Bronwyn said when I ran into her at the grocery store.
We get back to my house and Jason parks the car. “Come here.” He undoes my seatbelt and pulls me over the center console onto his lap. My legs extend onto the seat I was just occupying.
All of You (A Rebel Desire Novel Book 3) Page 17