When dinner is over, and the music starts, I lead Cassidy Rae onto the dance floor and hold her tight as the band sings a love song. We haven’t had time like this. Our history is a little crooked, but I love it regardless. I love her. Inhaling the scent of her perfume, I hold her body flush to mine and move us to the music.
“This wedding is beautiful.” Cassidy Rae sighs, her breath tickling my cheek.
“I’m happy you’re here with me. If not, I’d be one of those losers by the bar with no one to dance with.”
“I doubt that.” She leans back a bit to look at me.
“It’s true. I only want to dance with you the rest of my life. No one else would be good enough. You’ve made me a better man.”
“You were already a great man. You had to be, in order to pursue a single mother and then stay by her side through everything.”
“You’re worth it. You have no idea how worth it you are, but I plan to show you for the rest of my life.”
“Ditto.” She presses her lips against mine.
Laughing and dancing, we spend the rest of the night having fun with our friends until it’s time to leave. Cassidy Rae only checked her phone a handful of times to see if Scott or her dad had called, which is progressively better than other times we’ve been alone.
“Are you asleep?” I ask her as I drive home.
“No,” she mumbles.
“Liar,” I tease.
“I’m tired,” Cassidy Rae complains. “It’s way past my bedtime.”
“Well, that’s too bad. I had plans for when we got home.”
“What?” She snaps her head front and looks at me. “Are we going to have sexy time?” I laugh as she waggles her eyebrows.
“You’re too tired.”
“I’m not.” She reaches for my hand on the gear. “I’m never too tired for you.”
“Well, I’ve been dying to peel that dress off you.” I run my fingers over her exposed leg. Cassidy Rae trembles when I touch her, and I love that I get that reaction out of her. “We’ll be home soon,” I promise.
By the time I park my car in the driveway, Cassidy Rae is asleep. I look at her and smirk. She’s perfect. I walk around and open the door, taking off her seatbelt, careful not to wake her. I carry her into the house. She mumbles something as I unlock the door with one hand. She’s adorable when she sleeps. I love watching her at night as she cuddles closer to me and occasionally talks nonsense.
It’s taken me a minute to process that she’s here with me. That she lives here. I love every second of it. I love seeing her clothes in the closet and Rae’s toys throughout the house. Looking back, Christie pulling the stunt she did was a blessing in disguise. I guess that’s always the case. One disappointment leads to a whole new world of happiness. And being used by Christie led me straight to the woman I’m carrying in my arms.
I walk into our room and toe off my shoes before lying Cassidy Rae on the bed. I pull back the covers and remove her heels and dress before tucking her in.
“Baby,” she murmurs.
“Shhh… go back to sleep.” She rubs her eyes, spreading her mascara. She barely opens her eyes and pouts.
I laugh and undress. “Tomorrow,” I whisper. Keeping my boxer briefs on, I lie in bed next to her and pull her to me. I kiss the top of her head and watch her sleep.
She’s worth waiting for. One night of sex isn’t going to make this moment better. She’ll probably get mad at me tomorrow, saying we didn’t take advantage of a kid-free night. That doesn’t matter right now. Holding her in my arms is what I love best. Sharing these intimate moments together. I plan to make her permanently mine very soon, too. I don’t want to waste another day.
I never realized how significant someone could become in your life. I had been in relationships before and enjoyed them, but this is different. The desire to share everything with Cassidy Rae is overpowering. It’s a type of love that beats doubt and wins over fear. She’s the person that threw order out the door and made it feel safe. Black and white is scary if her gray is gone. She’s taught me to relax and trust whatever comes our way instead of counting on a plan, because life isn’t a plan, it’s a journey where you travel light and lose the map, so you can get lost in the best places possible. Cassidy Rae is my compass now, and all I need is her, Rae, and my music.
Four months later
“Thank you so much for today,” I tell Jason.
“I’m glad you liked it. Did you have fun, Rae Rae?” He peeks at her through the rearview mirror.
“It was awesome,” she exclaims.
Jason surprised me with a trip to the elephant sanctuary where they moved the elephants from the Nashville Zoo. They have a small section for visitors to see some of the elephants. I was able to pet one. The experience was unique, and I was surprised when Jason showed me where we were going.
The last four months have been the best of my life. Things are settled, and Scott and I finally got Rae’s custody legalized. He has his rights as her father, still remaining as the alternate residential parent. She spends every other weekend with him, but Jason and I are pretty flexible. The holidays will be difficult. She’ll spend Christmas morning with us and then spend the afternoon with Scott and his family. Somehow, we’ve created a normal for us, and Rae is happy, which is my priority.
The hour and a half drive back home from the sanctuary flew. Jason is already pulling into the driveway and turning off the car before I realize we’re home. Rae jumps out of the car first and races to the door. Jason laughs and follows her, unlocking the front door while I grab her bag from the backseat, shaking my head.
When I walk into the house, I see two matching pairs of cowboy boots with a bouquet of white daisies and eucalyptus leaves over the bigger pair. The scent of brown leather washes all over the house.
“What is this?” I turn to Jason.
“Every country princess needs her own pair of cowboy boots. We’re living out our southern fairytale, Cassidy Rae. Every morning I wake up and thank the Lord that He brought you into my life. I thank Him for Rae, because she’s as special to me as if she were my own.” He places his hand over my stomach and smiles. “And soon you’re going to bless me with my own.”
We haven’t told anyone that I’m pregnant, yet. We wanted to wait a few more months, when the pregnancy is more established. I wipe my face and laugh between my tears. Jason cried when I told him I was pregnant two months ago. He kissed me for a long time, made me promise I wasn’t joking, and then made love to me. I had never seen him so happy before.
He guides me toward the boots. Pointing to the smaller pair, he says, “These are for my little princess,” he smiles at Rae. “You told me a long time ago you wanted to be a cowgirl. Every girl should own a pair of cowboy boots to leave the boys in the dust.”
“Those are for me?” Rae asks. Jason nods. She walks up to the boots and holds one up. “Mommy, we match.” She hugs the shoe and twirls around.
“We do, baby girl.” I look back at Jason. “Thank you.”
“I need to thank you for taking me as I am. I love you, Cassidy Rae.” He waves Rae over. “I love your daughter.”
Rae smiles at him. “I love you, too, Jason,” she tells him.
“I’ve never wanted anything more than I want a life with you,” he looks back at me. “All of you.” He looks between us.
My hand covers my mouth when I realize he’s getting down on one knee. “Cassidy Rae Pressman, will you fulfill the happily ever after of our southern fairytale and be my wife?”
I nod my head a bunch of times and cry yes. Jason holds the black velvet box open and I see the ring. I cover my mouth again, tears streaming down my face. Rae hugs my waist, witnessing it all.
Jason stands and kisses me, placing the ring on my finger. “It’s a duplicate of your mom’s, with its own uniqueness to it.” I stare at the ring that does resemble my mom’s and admire the additional baguette diamonds he added to each side.
Jason then bends down and lo
oks at Rae. “I have something for you, too. I know I’m not your real dad, but I’d love to be your stepdad. I already consider you my daughter.” Rae looks at him in awe as he pulls out a necklace with a tiny round diamond. He puts it on her and hugs her.
There is no point in trying to stop the waterworks. This is too much. The boots and the proposal. We’re having a baby.
“Does this mean I can call you dad? Because I’ve kinda been doing that in my head.”
Jason and I both stare at Rae.
“You have your dad, but if you’d like to call me that, I’d be happy. I do want you to remember Scott’s importance in your life.” If I thought I couldn’t fall in love with Jason more than I already am, I was just proven wrong.
“I know, but it’s like I have two dads. It’s super cool.” Rae touches her necklace. “Thank you.” She kisses Jason’s cheek.
When he looks at me, I see the same adoration I feel reflected back at me. I am going to spend the rest of my life loving this man and building our family. No one else could replace him. I wish my mom were here to witness this, but I’m so very grateful my dad is here to walk me down the aisle when the time comes.
“Congratulations.” I turn my head toward the hallway that leads to the bedrooms and see my dad. I walk up to him and give him a hug. When I move away, I’m met with a bright smile.
“You’re here.” I link my arm with his and look at Jason.
“I wouldn’t let him miss this. We’re a family,” Jason says. “And in a bit, we’re going to celebrate with the rest of our family.” Jason’s parents and sisters have taken us in. They love Rae, too. His parents are kind-hearted people. It doesn’t surprise me they raised such an amazing man.
I never believed in this kind of love, despite growing up with it with my parents. Once I had Rae, I knew my life was over and her life was my priority. I didn’t think I would be able to balance the two until Jason stormed into my life and proved to me that I can give my daughter the best life while living my best life. It’s not about sacrificing who I am to raise her. I need to teach her that I am my own person, so she knows to follow a path of individuality.
I want to show her that it’s okay to accept our flaws and know that there are no mistakes, but lessons. She wasn’t born out of love, but I’m showing her what love feels like. She has two homes where she is loved, and she can see through Jason and I what a loving relationship is like.
All those romantic movies I watched and compared myself to are dim in comparison to the real thing. Jason is my forever, and together we’re building a lifetime of memories.
“Forever and ever,” Jason murmurs against my lips.
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Memories of Us
Hunter
I climb the fence and swing my leg over, settling down as I look out at the land my father worked hard to maintain. The land my grandfather built. I was supposed to follow their footsteps, but I threw it all to hell.
“Hey, girl,” I run my hand down Addie’s face. The mare juts her head in greeting. She was my favorite girl, until I found my other favorite girl. The second thing I fucked up in my twenty-five years.
“I can’t believe I’m back here. Has he been cursing my name?” I ask the horse as if she’ll answer. Releasing her, I look at the barn. Sighing, a wave of memories knock me down.
I’m cleaning the stalls, shoveling shavings while the radio plays Alan Jackson. I sing along as the words echo off the wood structure. I pay attention to the beat and rhythm the words create, picking up the different instruments that play.
“You singin’ for an audience?”
I smile and turn around, leaning on the shovel. I look at her, eyeing her tight jeans and tank top, her cowboy boots hugging her legs.
“I am now.” I sing louder, moving to her. I pull my favorite girl to me, twirling her around and moving to the music. I dip her low, hoisting her left leg up.
Her laugh vibrates around the space as I bring her back to me. She pulls my cowboy hat off and touches my forehead with hers.
“That’s going to be you one day,” she says.
“Only if you agree to be there with me.”
“Always, babe.”
Then, she puts my hat on and grabs the shovel I had leaned against the wall. “What do you need help with?” She begins to shovel shavings before I answer.
Adjusting myself, I walk behind her and hug her. “Baby, I need somethin’ else right now.” I push my hips into her, causing her to break into a fit of laughter.
“Hunter,” she swats me. “We can’t do that here. Your parents can walk in.”
“Nah.” I kiss her neck.
“Hunter Daniels, stop it right now.” She shakes her body to rid me, but I tighten my arms, keeping her to me.
“I ain’t ever lettin’ you go.”
She stops moving. “You better not.” She turns in my arms, her kiss leaving me wanting more.
“Hunter Daniels! I never thought I’d see your ugly face around here again.” I shake my head to clear the memory and look at Jack.
“Who you callin’ ugly, dumb ass?” I jump down to meet my best friend.
“How you doin’?” He pats my back.
“Just takin’ it all in, brother.”
“You homesick?”
I shake my head. “Nah.”
“How’s the job? Rebel Desire, huh? You hangin’ with the big dogs.”
“It’s been great. How are you? You have Julie pregnant yet?” I smile, sadness trying to pierce through me.
Jack chuckles. “Slow down. We got time for kids later. We’re still in the honeymoon stage.”
“You been in that stage for over three years now.”
He shrugs. “What can I say? That woman keeps me on my toes.” He takes a step back to look at me. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah.” I scrub my face. “Just weird being back here.”
“Tell me ‘bout it. Never thought I’d see you here again with the way you left.”
“I couldn’t tell my mom no.” When my mom called to ask me personally to come to her and my dad’s vow renewal, I couldn’t say no. It’s my parents’ thirtieth anniversary and they’re renewing their vows.
“She misses you. Talks to my momma about you all the time, what you’re doing, the songs you’re writin.’ Maybe you should come visit more often.” Jack adjusts his cap to cover more of his face.
“Can’t. Work.” I throw a lame excuse. “Besides, you turnin’ into a chick now, worried about my momma?”
“Don’t be a dick,” Jack shoots at me.
“Takes one to know one.”
“Glad to see your independence in Nashville has really matured you.”
I sigh and run a hand down my face. I’m being a dick to him because it’s easy. We’ve been best friends since we were in diapers, and our parents have been friends since before then. Jack is the brother I never had, which is why my leaving hurt that much more.
“What’s really eatin’ at ya?” Jack climbs the fence and sits. I join him, wishing I had grabbed a few beers and a cooler.
“Where do I begin?”
“Well, you ain’t this tied about seeing your pops, so how ‘bout you begin with the real reason you you’re shakin’ in your boots.”
I smirk. Fucker.
“Have you spoken to her? Seen her?” I ask Jack.
“Nah, man.” He shakes his head. “She up and left right after you, disappearin’ into the night. Seems as you both have that in common.”
I stare at him, jaw clenched. “I called. I said where I was going.”
“She may have, too, just not to anyone related to you.”
I hear tires crunching under the dirt road.
“Ready to face your pop?” Jack says with a smile.
Why is he still my best friend?
“Hunter!” My mom exclaims and rushes to me. I meet her h
alf way.
“Hey, momma.” I hug her, towering over her, but still feeling like a kid. I’m a Momma’s Boy, and I ain’t afraid to admit it.
“Been way too long. Are you eating enough? You need some of my chili and cornbread to fluff you up a bit.”
“Mom,” I laugh and shoo her arms away.
Before I can turn around, I hear mumbling and a door slam. Seeing as my father refuses to acknowledge me, I say, “I told you I could’ve stayed at a hotel.”
“Over my dead body. It’s about time you both reconciled. Now come on, I’ve got supper to make. You staying for supper Jack?” She calls.
“Depends. What are you making?”
I smile and shake my head.
“Get your ass in the house and call Julie and tell her to come over. We’re celebrating tonight.” My mom’s voice sings and guilt washes over me. It’s been three years since I’ve stepped foot on this land, always making my momma go see me in Nashville if she wanted to. Never inviting my father.
I came home one time after moving to Nashville. It was right after I left and it was to come get her. But she was already gone.
“Yes ma’am,” Jack chuckles and follows us into the house.
I stomp my feet on the back porch before entering the house.
I grab a beer and hand one to Jack while my momma talks up a storm and cooks. She refuses help, saying we can help her set the table in a bit. My dad is nowhere to be seen, probably out by the barn tending the horses. Avoidance works best for us.
As soon as Julie arrives, I give her a big bear hug and catch her up on my life in Nashville. I’ve been trying to get them out to visit me, but their ranch keeps them busy. Being with them now, like old times, a pang in my chest amplifies. Not quite like old times. While Jack still has Julie sitting on his lap, mine is empty. I rub my eyes and gulp my beer. My one mistake. My one regret.
“I’ll be right back.” The chair screeches against the tile and I walk out to my truck to grab my bag. I need fresh air. I shouldn’t have come. I could’ve made up some sorry ass excuse and said I had to travel for work. But I know how much this means to my mom. Her permanent grin all afternoon is evidence that it’s been too long since I’ve been home. Being here is a reminder of all I fucked up.
All of You (A Rebel Desire Novel Book 3) Page 25