For a second she couldn’t think, her throat tight, ribs aching in an agony of disbelief and horror.
Leo hurt?
Leo possibly dying?
She blinked away the sudden moisture that stung her eyes and came to herself again, tossing her napkin onto the table as she stood.
“Of course,” she said. “I shall come with you immediately. Just let me inform my butler where I am going and we will be off.”
“Thank you, Lady Thalia.” He looked relieved and abruptly exhausted as if he had not slept in days. And so disturbingly like Leo that the tears threatened again. Holding them back, she went to make ready.
* * *
Leo lay in a haze of pain, trying his best not to move. Even his skin hurt where it made contact with the soft cotton sheets and silk coverlet. Time moved forward in strange fits and starts, some moments slow and intensely vivid, while others simply weren’t there at all—just gaps of black nothingness that he knew he would never get back.
Yet even in the darkness, the pain never left. His injuries ran like a patchwork of misery all over his body. Bruises and breaks. Cuts and swelling. He could see out of only one eye, the other swollen completely shut. He could move his jaw enough to take a little water or broth but nothing more, which was fine since he had no appetite.
He wouldn’t have worried, certain he would heal, if it were not for the deep, persistent ache in his back and the blood in his urine.
Internal organ damage, he’d heard the doctors murmur. Bruised kidneys. Broken ribs.
He was, he realized, in rather a bad way.
They’d wanted to bleed him, but he’d been lucid enough to refuse. Lawrence had supported his decision, had them bind his ribs as tightly as breathing would allow and leave a few restorative tinctures. They gave him laudanum as well; it was the first time in years he’d taken it and he was grateful for anything that would blunt the razor’s edge of his suffering.
Someone was always with him, keeping vigil at his bedside. His mother. One of his sisters, brothers or sisters-in-law. Even Adam had been there at one point.
Yet there was one person missing. The one he longed for the most. The one about whom he dreamed.
His sorrow.
His salvation.
Thalia.
He’d come awake near dawn with her name on his lips.
Lawrence had been there, looking haggard and more concerned than he had ever seen him look. They’d talked, though he couldn’t quite remember about what.
Then he’d been lost again, slipping into the darkness, seeking comfort in dreams of her.
A soft hand smoothed his hair, cool fingers ever so gently caressing his forehead and one small uninjured area of his cheek. A faint floral scent drifted on the air, warm and feminine and hauntingly familiar. He must be dreaming again to imagine that Thalia was here.
Or maybe I’ve died and this is heaven, he thought as he felt her lips whisper over his own with the lightest, sweetest of touches.
And in that instant, there was no pain.
“Oh, Leo,” she murmured brokenly. “Oh, sweetheart, look what they’ve done to you.”
She took his hand. Something wet and warm fell onto his skin.
He forced his eyes open—or rather the one lid that wasn’t swollen shut—and found her bending over him like an angel.
“Thalia,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and strained from disuse.
He looked more closely. Had she been crying? Her eyes were very brown, moist and luminous, distressed.
“Shh,” she hushed reassuringly, stroking her fingers over his hair again. “Don’t talk. Go back to sleep.”
“Am I dreaming?” he said after a moment. “Are you really here?”
“Yes, I’m really here. Your brother Lord Lawrence came to get me this morning. He told me what happened.”
Another tear slid down her cheek.
“Don’t cry. I hate it when you cry.”
“Then I won’t.” With the back of a hand, she wiped the tear away and smiled. “See? All gone.” She went back to stroking his hair. “Is there anything you need? Are you hungry or thirsty?”
He shook his head, ignoring the pain the movement caused. “The only thing I need is you.”
“You have me.”
But for how long?
He tightened his grip on her hand, pulling her down to sit on the bed. With extreme care, she settled next to him.
“Don’t go,” he said.
“I’m right here.”
His chest began to ache, lungs straining beneath his broken ribs. “Swear you won’t leave.”
“I’ll be here when you wake,” she said.
But what if she wasn’t? What if she went away, disappeared as she’d once said she might? What if this was the last time he saw her?
“Swear,” he demanded.
“Shh, I swear. Don’t upset yourself. I’ll stay for as long as you want me.”
He searched her eyes for a long minute, then let himself relax again. But he didn’t ease his grip on her hand. “That means forever, you realize? Because I’ll always want you. I love you.”
“And I love you. Sleep now. Just sleep.”
But he didn’t want to sleep. He wanted only to lie here and look at her. Memorize each beautiful line and graceful curve of her face.
There was something else, though. Something he needed to tell her. Something important.
“Did Lawrence tell you?” he asked.
“Tell me what?”
“That I made a will.”
A shudder went through her. “You don’t need a will,” she said fiercely. “You aren’t going to die.”
“I could. I heard the doctors.”
“Whatever you heard is nonsense and doctors are quite frequently wrong about such things. You’re only twenty-five years old. You just need to rest and recover, that’s all.”
“Still, if I don’t get better—”
“Of course you’re going to get better. I won’t let you do anything else.”
“But if I don’t,” he said insistently, “I want you to know I’ve made provision for you.”
“Provision? What do you mean?”
“I’m leaving you my fortune.”
Her eyes rounded. “That’s impossible. I don’t want your money.”
He ignored her statement. “When we parted a few months ago, I know you turned me away out of some misguided notion that I would be happier without you. That I would have a better life if I moved on. But I won’t. I can’t.”
“You may not think so now.” She glanced down at their joined hands. “But you’ll realize I’m right someday.”
He squeezed her hand. “I won’t.”
She looked up again.
“I love you and I’m not going to stop. Not ever,” he said. “There is something you should know about Byron men.”
“Oh? And what is that?”
“We live wild lives until we find the right woman. Once we do, we hold fast and never let go.” Pausing, he drew a breath. “I know we cannot marry, but it doesn’t matter, not to me. In my heart, you are already my wife. Am I your husband?”
“Leo,” she murmured.
“Am I?”
For a long moment, she said nothing. When she spoke, her words were as solemn as a wedding vow and just as meaningful. “Yes. In my heart, you are my husband.”
He gave a faint nod, satisfied. “And a husband provides for his wife, even after his death.”
“You are not going to die. Stop saying such things.”
“I couldn’t rest easy, not without knowing you were provided for. You’ll never want for anything again, Thalia. Everything that is mine is now yours.”
“I told you, I don’t want your money. All I could ever want is you.”
Tears welled in her eyes, then overflowed.
He reached up and brushed his thumb over her cheeks, ignoring the pain that went through his back and chest at the movements. “Kiss me and tell me you
love me, wife.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t,” he lied.
“I love you, husband. More than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life. More than I will ever love anyone again.”
Her lips met his, soft and gentle and infinitely sweet. He closed his eyes and drank in her touch, her warmth, knowing if this was the last, then he would die happy.
Slowly, the blackness returned, pulling at him again, drawing him down and away. He tried to resist, hearing her voice calling him, as if from a distance. But he couldn’t hold on; the darkness was just too powerful to resist. Like a great ocean wave, it swept over him into nothingness.
Chapter 34
Thalia startled awake at the touch of a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to find the Dowager Duchess of Clybourne’s clear, gentle green eyes resting upon her, a concerned smile on her lips.
“Why don’t you go get some proper rest in one of the bedrooms?” Leo’s mother suggested softly. “I can watch him for a while.”
“No, I’m all right,” Thalia said, shaking off her sleepiness as she sat up in the chair at Leo’s bedside. “I promised him I would be here when he wakes.”
The dowager studied her intently. “As you wish. I shall join you, if you do not mind the company.”
“Of course I do not. Here, let me get you a chair.”
“No, no. I can do it. You are tired and I am not yet in my dotage, even if I do have eight grown children and more grandchildren than I ever dreamed I might.”
Ava Byron pulled a small side chair near and sat down.
Both their gazes moved to Leo where he lay in the bed.
It had been three days since Thalia arrived. Three long, sleepless days and nights filled with endless worry and creeping despair. Rather than improving, Leo’s condition had worsened until a mournful pall hung over the room.
But she’d held her fears at bay, refusing to believe that he would not come through the worst. Despite a bone-deep exhaustion, she’d refused to leave his side, tending to him through the dark, endless hours.
Finally, early this morning, his condition had improved. His rapid heartbeat slowed to normal and the color had come back into his cheeks; they’d been white as death for the past couple of days.
She’d held back tears of relief when he’d roused long enough to take a bowl of beef tea, then again as he’d drifted into an easy peaceful slumber for the first time since she’d arrived.
The doctor had visited a few hours later and shaken his head with happy amazement. He’d pronounced Leo definitely on the road to recovery. Quiet cheers had gone up throughout the entire household.
Even with the certain knowledge that Leo was no longer in danger, she’d stayed with him. She’d given her promise and she would not break it.
She and the dowager sat silently for a time, each content to simply watch Leo sleep.
His mother was so kind—all the Byrons were—far kinder than she had ever expected her to be. She had been uncomfortable at first, waiting for harsh looks and cruel words of indignation at their finding Leo’s former lover tending him at his bedside. But the Byrons had been all gentle smiles and shared commiseration. None of them had questioned her presence. Not one had treated her with anything but respect.
“You love my son very much,” Ava said, her soft words breaking the silence.
Rather than looking at the dowager, Thalia gazed at Leo, caressing his beloved face with her eyes. Her chest swelled with so many emotions that they seemed almost impossible to contain.
“Yes, I do,” she said simply.
“And he feels the same about you. Lawrence told us. It explains a very great deal. Leo has not been himself these past few months and I had wondered what was wrong. I don’t believe I have seen him smile once since I arrived in Town, and of all my sons, Leo is the one who is never without a smile or a laugh. I think you broke his heart.”
Thalia swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I didn’t mean to.”
“I am sure you did what you thought best, but for all your good intentions, you have made him quite miserable.”
“He wants to marry me, but it is not possible,” she said dully. “Did Lord Lawrence tell you that as well?”
“He did. Along with the fact that he and Leo and Edward all tried to move heaven and earth to find a way past the legal impediments of your divorce decree, but to no avail.”
Thalia’s gaze flew to the dowager’s. “The duke tried to help break my decree? And Lord Lawrence? I did not know.”
Ava Byron nodded. “Leo was quite distraught when he realized he could not free you. But it makes no difference to his feelings. Lawrence told me what Leo did with his will. He also told me he overheard the two of you talking and that Leo considers you his wife, even if you cannot legally wed.”
Thalia’s hands tightened in her lap. “Lord Lawrence should learn not to eavesdrop or tell tales.”
“Now, now, do not be overset.” The dowager reached over and patted her hands. “He only tells me things because I am his mother. Normally, he is quite circumspect. By the way, he loves you too, like a sister.”
“I didn’t think he greatly approved of me.”
“He loves his brother and wants him to be happy. You make him happy. I want Leo happy again as well.”
She met the dowager’s eyes. “So you don’t mind if your son and I live in sin?”
Ava frowned. “Well, I admit, it is not an ideal situation and there will be many who disapprove, but I am not one of them. You will find the rest of the Byrons feel the same, in the immediate family at least. We’re used to making waves. What’s a few more?”
All Thalia’s defenses crumbled at the dowager’s show of support. “Are you sure, ma’am? I would never wish to shame him.”
“Yes, so I can see.”
“And I cannot give him children,” she said, her voice low and rushed. “He says he does not care, but he is young. He may change his mind.”
“If there is one thing my son knows, it is his own mind. And his own heart. Do not try to make it up for him.” Ava sent her a soft smile. “As for children, I am truly sorry, since I can see how it pains you. But perhaps God will bless you after all. Nothing is ever as certain as we like to think.”
Thalia smiled back. “I pray you are right.”
Ava leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “You are a sweet girl. I can see why he loves you.”
Silence descended again as Thalia worked to hold back sudden tears.
On the bed, Leo shifted, his eyes opening slowly. “Thalia?”
She leaned forward, taking his hand. “I’m here. Right here.”
He studied her with concern. “You look tired.”
Jubilant to hear him so lucid, a laugh burst from her lips. “So do you,” she said,with a smile.
His gaze moved past her. “Mama?”
Ava was beaming. “Hello, dearest. How are you feeling?”
“Better.” He paused as if considering. “Much better.”
“I’m so glad. We’ll talk later. For now, I’ll leave you and Thalia alone.”
He waited until his mother left the room, closing the door behind her. “Why do I have the feeling I’ve missed something?”
Thalia stood and leaned over to straighten his sheets. “Your mother and I have come to an understanding.”
His brows furrowed. “What kind of understanding?”
“She has given her approval for us to live in sin.”
“Really?” His brows shot up this time. “And how do you feel about that? The two of us, living in sin?”
Leaning down, she brushed her lips over his. “Fine. Wonderful. If that is what you want as well.”
“Of course it’s what I want.” He laughed, then groaned, clutching his abused ribs. “Come here.”
“Where?”
He reached for her hand. “Here on the bed. If my mother doesn’t mind us being together without the sanction of clergy, then I doubt she’ll mind
us sleeping here together.”
“But I might hurt you.”
“You couldn’t,” he said, urging her to stretch out next to him. “Not unless you go away again.”
Carefully, she climbed onto the bed, curling close to him. Then she kissed him again, light as a feather. “Don’t worry, my love. From this day forward, I’ll be with you. I’ll never go away again.”
Lying together, heads close on the pillows, they went to sleep.
Chapter 35
“Are you certain you feel up to this? We can always go another time,” Thalia said.
Leo took up the reins from where he sat next to her in his curricle. Over the past six weeks, he’d made a remarkable recovery, his health improving quickly and steadily until only a few aches and bruises remained.
He gave her a knowing look. “No turning coward on me now. I promised long ago to take you to Gunter’s for ices and to Gunter’s we shall go. Don’t you want to shock the old harpies?”
“I believe we shocked everyone quite enough when I moved into your town house.”
She brushed a gloved hand over her new cerise-and-cream-striped silk afternoon dress with matching spencer and chip-straw bonnet. Now that they were as good as married in all but the eyes of the law, Leo had insisted on buying her a new wardrobe. He’d gifted her with Athena again as well as a lady’s touring carriage. And lastly a diamond tiara so beautiful it had made her gasp. It was for evenings at places such as Holland House or entertainments with his family. He was pampering her in the most lavish of ways, and having lost all her former resolve, she was letting him.
Still, there were looks and mutterings wherever she went—not that that was anything new. But now that Leo was back on his feet, the sight of the two of them together would just add more kindling to the fire.
“Tilly told me the most dreadful rumor the other day. Apparently people are saying that you and Lawrence are sharing me.”
He laughed. “Anyone with half a brain would know that was a ridiculous lie.”
“Because you and Lord Lawrence are too honorable for such lurid shenanigans?”
“No,” he said, chuckling again. “Because I don’t share!” Leaning over, he pressed his mouth to hers for a heady, heart-hammering kiss.
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