“I gave you one of the sodas.” I nod my head. “I didn’t do that, I swear, Dakota.”
Deep down, I know he didn’t. Although initially I was suspicious, over time I’ve grown to understand he’s not capable of this. No one I know is. “I know it’s not you.”
“Do you have an idea of who it might be?”
“Yeah, but it’s going to seem crazy when I say it.”
“Tell me.”
I may as well tell him everything now. “I think it may have something to do with Mr. C.”
“Mr. Collins? Our math teacher?” I nod against his chest. “Why him?”
I take a few more minutes to get my emotions back under control then I step back and sit down on my lounger. Reece sits opposite me and waits as I take a huge breath and tell him everything.
By the time I finish telling Reece the story, he hasn’t moved. Not an inch. He’s remained silent the entire time, not asking any questions or making any type of sound. He’s motionless, the only thing moving are his shoulders as he breathes and his eye lids as they blink.
For a moment, fear runs through my body. I’m petrified that now he’s heard everything, he’ll think I am disgusting. I’m terrified of the words that must be jumbling around in his mind.
Maybe he doesn’t believe me.
Or worse, maybe he thinks I deserve what happened to me.
“Say something,” I whisper. I’m on the brink of losing the little control I’ve regained. He’s not speaking and I’m teetering on the edge of reality and a gory, tragic nightmare. “Please, say something.”
Reece is sitting quietly, he’s not stirring and it’s really worrying to me. I hate to think what thoughts are going through his mind. “I . . .” My eyelashes flutter while I hang on every word he has to say. “I don’t know what to say.”
I let out a breath, and my throat constricts. My hands shake from the sheer nervousness coursing through me. “Oh.”
Suddenly something happens within Reece. An obvious change takes over his body. His eyes snap up to mine, his shoulders straighten and his jaw tightens.
I swallow, hard.
“You were raped,” he says. It’s not a question; it’s a statement.
“Yes.”
“Someone hurt you.” My eyebrows knit together as he makes yet another definitive statement. “Someone put their filthy fucking hands on you.” My heart falls into the pit of my stomach. “Someone fucking took you without your consent.” My hands shake.
Without saying a word, I nod my head.
“Fuck.” I’ve never heard Reece swear so much in my entire life. “And it happened at our prom?” I nod again. “So it’s someone we know.” His dark brown eyes darken even further. Something snaps inside him. He looks around the backyard, as if he’s waiting for a threat to jump out and attack us. “When we go back to school, you stay close to me.”
Blinking rapidly, I stare at Reece. “What?”
My eyes go to his hands, now balled into fists. He’s angry, and for a split second I can’t help but worry his anger is directed at me. I lean back in anticipation of whatever he’s about to say or do. I can’t help the reaction. It’s a natural reaction. “I’m not going to hurt you, Dakota.”
“I know,” I reply instantly. “I can’t help my instincts though.”
“I need a drink.” Reece makes his way over to the outside fridge and grabs two bottles of water. He brings them over, hands me one and sits down opposite me. Once he’s finished half the bottle of water he puts the cap on and places it down beside him on the ground. “I need to ask you a few questions.”
I look to the side, close my eyes and nod my head. I don’t want to be looking at him when he asks. I hate to see any judgment from him. “Okay. I’ll answer what I can.”
“First of all, the most important question is; how are you doing?” He reaches his hand out to touch my leg, but stops midway and retracts it.
“I’m doing okay.”
“Okay?” he questions and raises his brows at me.
“I mean, at first it was really difficult. And I still can’t look at myself in a mirror and like what I see. It’s tough, you know?”
“And now?”
“Now, I get through the day. But when things like today happen, it makes me become introverted.”
“I didn’t notice that today.”
“That’s because I had Sam, and you around me. Sam always knows how to get me through the difficult stuff.”
“So she knows?”
“She found out soon after it happened. Someone sent a disgusting photo to her phone. I had to tell her.” I bury my head in my hands again.
“Don’t do that, Dakota. Don’t hide. You have no reason to be ashamed.”
“But I am,” I whisper. “I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s bad enough three people know. Four if you include whoever did this to me. And with all those pictures he’s posting, more and more people will know. There’s been whispering at school.”
“Don’t worry about them. Who gives a shit what they think?”
“People know, and what if someone tells my parents?”
“You haven’t told them?” I shake my head. “You need to, Dakota. They’re the best people to protect you and get you the help you need.”
I sit up straight when he says that. “Get me the help I need? What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not crazy, Reece!”
“Dakota.” He lets out a frustrated breath. “I didn’t say you were crazy. But this is huge, you can’t keep this a secret; or it’ll rip you apart from the inside. You’ll never be able to heal.” He looks down at his knotted hands, as if he knows exactly what I’m going through.
“How do you know?”
“Everyone has a story to tell.” He shrugs one shoulder while keeping his eyes down.
A huge knot forms in the pit of my stomach as an icy cold shiver runs up my spine and lands at the base of my head. I bring my hand up to rub at the pain and wince when my fingers land on the sensitive area. “Have you got a story to tell too?” I ask, feeling sick in my stomach at the mere thought of Reece going through anything similar to what I have.
“Not me, but my aunt.”
“Your aunt?”
“My Mom’s father was a prick.”
“Your grandfather?”
“I’ve never called him by that name, he doesn’t deserve it. Or I should say, he didn’t deserve it.” Reece’s face contorts with fury. I shouldn’t ask, but I think he wants to tell me.
“What happened?” I don’t really want to know.
“He thought my aunt was pretty. He also thought he should groom her, get her ready for him to sexually assault her.”
My stomach churns and my heart breaks. I cringe while I look away. “She was nine when it first started. The only reason he never did that to my Mom was because he said she was too ugly to love.” I let out a pained and agonized breath.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m thankful it didn’t happen to your Mom, but I’m so sorry it happened to your aunt.”
“My mom and aunt have never hidden it from us, because they’ve always said you can’t trust anyone. Unfortunately, that’s why I asked if your dad’s . . . you know.”
“There’s too much of this crap going on. Why can’t people just not do this?” I run my hands over my hair and try to distract myself.
“I’m sorry this happened to you.” The edges of my mouth pull up in a small smile, and I try to find solace in his words. “I think it’s important for you to tell your parents, they can get you help. And besides all this, you need to tell the police.”
“No! I can’t. If the police get involved they’ll probably interview everyone who was at the prom, which means everyone will know. And it’s way too embarrassing for me.”
“What if this isn’t an isolated incident? What if you weren’t his first victim, and he’s planning on doing it again, if he hasn’t already?”
I grip the sides of my head, covering my ears with
my hands to block out what he’s saying. However, his words are echoing deep inside me. “I can’t.”
“You have to, Dakota. You have to be a survivor, not be a victim. And the only way you can survive is by speaking out about it and getting help.”
“I’m not crazy,” I say again.
“I didn’t say you were. But you can’t do this on your own.”
“I’m not on my own. Sam knows and she’s helping me.”
“She’s how old? Thirteen?”
“Fourteen,” I correct him. I know where he’s going with it, and I’ve struggled with it every day.
“Do you think she’s properly equipped to help you? And whoever did this to you needs to be caught before he can do it again. Not to mention, what if the next time, the girl doesn’t live to tell what happens.”
Oh God. Bile is snaking its way up my throat. I feel ill; I’m going to be sick. “Please,” I plead with Reece. “Stop.” I can’t take it anymore. Grabbing the side of my head I knot my fists through my hair.
Reece moves so he can hug me again. His touch isn’t unwelcome, and I’m surprised to find I don’t freak out. It’s warm and comforting and so right. “I’m not saying these things to put pressure on you, Dakota. But I do think you have a social responsibility, and a personal one too.”
“Whoever did this to me has a damn responsibility to stop.”
“And who’s going to make him? How many people has he slipped a drug to so he can take advantage of them? And how many people will report it?”
“Can we please not talk about this anymore tonight? My head’s about to explode and I don’t think I can deal with it anymore.”
Reece steps away from me, his hands rubbing up and down my arms. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Tonight’s been intense. You really should go to bed.”
Suddenly my eyes feel overwhelmingly tired. They’re heavy and droopy while my entire body slumps with exhaustion. I honestly didn’t realize how tired I was until Reece said it.
“I think I agree with you, but I don’t want you to go.”
“I don’t want to go either, but I have to. How about we do something next week? Mom needs some help around the house and now with Miles gone, I’m helping with my little brother. I’m taking him to the park one day next week, want to come?”
“Oh, um . . .” I’m not sure. I know I can trust Reece, but I’m not entirely ready to go back out in public yet, especially considering the way Levi and Lindsey behaved earlier. If by chance we see them, I don’t want Reece to react like he did, in front of his little brother. “You know.” I flinch. “After the movies, dealing with Levi and Lindsey . . .” I hope he knows where I’m going with this. But he continues standing in front of me, rubbing his hands up and down my arms. “I don’t really want to encounter them again.”
His face falls with disappointment. “Sure, I get it.” But his tone defies his words.
“Thank you,” I answer, though I know he wants me to hang out with him.
“Before I leave, you need to know something about me, Dakota.”
Crap. “What?”
“I won’t force you to do anything. I won’t demand anything from you. If it takes you months, or years to just kiss me, I’ll wait for you to be ready.”
Suddenly a flash back to prom flicks through my mind. “At the prom, you said the person you like didn’t even know you existed. Who were you talking about?”
His cheeks get a slight tinge of color to them as he smiles at me. “It’s always been you.”
My stomach flips, and warmth takes over my entire body.
“Well, I better go before I say anything else super sappy.” He steps back, dropping his warm hands from my heated skin. “I’ll call you, okay?” he asks while fishing his keys out of his pocket.
“I’d like that.”
He flashes me a sweet smile and heads toward the house so he can leave. I follow him and once he says goodnight to everyone, I head into the bathroom for a shower.
When I’m done, I fall on to my bed in an exhausted heap. Completely drained, my eyes close on their own as my body relaxes in my soft sheets.
“Can you take me home?” Did I speak or am I thinking it?
“Shhh, I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of you real good.”
“My house is over there.” I point behind me.
“We’re going to a party, a special party.”
“I want to go home. Please just take me home.” He places his arm under my arms, and walks me out the backfield. “There’s no party here.”
“Yeah there is. And you’re the main attraction.”
Startled I sit up in bed. Sweat’s pouring off me while I blink like crazy trying to adjust my eyes to the darkness. I run my hand through my hair, and even my scalp is wet from my sweat. My heart is beating so fast I feel sick and my entire body is violently trembling.
I get up out of bed, and write down what I remember from the flashback.
His face though, it’s blurry and I can never see it. But his voice, it’s one I’m familiar with. The more I try and focus on the tone, the less I recognize it. The drug he gave me that night makes the details fuzzy and confusing.
Sitting at my desk I try my hardest to remember everything and write it down. I only wish the fuzzy, crackly tone of his voice was clearer, so I could finally know who the hell did this to me. And then, I could set everything in motion to get him taken off the streets.
If only I knew who he was.
It’s been a week since Reece came over and I told him what happened. He’s been calling every day, checking in to see how I am.
He hasn’t brought up what happened to me again. Instead, he asks me how I’m feeling. He hasn’t called me today yet, but I think it’s only a matter of time.
We’re half way through summer vacation, and Sam’s been spending as much time with Taylor as she can. Sophie and I have hung out a lot too.
Sam and I are in the pool and the sun is beating down on us. We’re right in the middle of a heat wave and the only way we can stay cool is by either being inside with the air conditioning blasting, or in the pool.
Mom comes out, runs toward us and jumps in the pool. “It’s so hot,” she moans. “Even the water is warm.”
“I know. It’s crazy how hot it actually is.”
“You two should invite your friends over.”
“Is it okay if Sophie comes over?”
“Sure, I like her. She’s got very nice manners.” Mom smiles.
I get out of the pool and call Sophie. As it turns out, she’s at home reading and asked her Mom if she can come over. She said she’ll be here in about half an hour. I go back to the pool and jump in. “She coming over?” Mom asks.
“Yeah, she said she’ll be here soon. I told her to bring her swimsuit and to come around the side gate.”
Dad’s come home from work. “How are my girls?” he asks shrugging out of his tie and shirt.
“It’s too hot today, Dad,” Sam replies.
“I know.” Dad toes off his shoes then starts unbuckling his belt, pushes his pants down and kicks them off.
“Dad!” I shout covering my eyes.
“I’m in my boxer briefs, no need to yell.” He takes his watch off, then his socks.
“Are you coming in?” Mom asks.
Dad’s down to his boxers and he comes right to the edge of the pool. He sticks one foot out, and falls face first in the pool. He comes up taking a deep breath. Mom swims over to him, and gives him a kiss.
Dad closes his eyes, puts his hand over them and says, “Marco.”
“We’re not five years old anymore, Dad,” Sam half-whines but quietly swims away from him.
“Polo,” I say and duck under water to swim away.
I get to the far end of the pool and make myself as small as possible. Dad’s at the other end, headed straight toward Sam. She’s smiling and trying to hold in a laugh. She splashes to one side, but Dad knows what she’s doing and lunges straight at her.
Mom starts laughing because Sam ducks under water and swims away only just getting out of the way in the nick of time. “Damn it.” Dad hits the top of the water and a huge splash gets Mom in the face. “Marco.”
“Polo,” I whisper.
“I hear your breathing.” He swims in my direction, and I move as quietly as I can. But Dad has stealth-like tendencies, as I move left, Dad comes at me and moves right.
“Ah!” I squeal.
“Gotcha,” Dad says engulfing me. Mom jumps on his back and gives him a huge kiss.
Dad uncovers his eyes and swings around to give Mom a kiss. “You’re gonna be the death of me, woman,” he happily crows before giving Mom another kiss.
“Eww, you have impressionable young children here.” Sam screws up her face in mock disgust.
“Is that right?” Dad lets go of Mom and heads straight to Sam who shrieks and tries to run away. An impossible feat considering she’s surrounded by water. Dad easily catches Sam, picks her up and throws her back in the pool.
A mess of flapping arms and legs splash into the water along with loud laughter. “My turn,” I call as I head over to Dad so he can throw me the way he just threw Sam.
Dad grabs me around the waist and says, “Ready?” I don’t even get a chance to reply before I’m flying out of the pool and land with the biggest splash ever known to man.
When I come to the surface, Sam, Mom and I are laughing. Dad swims over to me and sticks his arms out. “What?” I ask looking at him.
“My turn.”
“Your turn what?”
“You’re gonna throw me.”
My mouth falls open and I stare blankly at him. “I can’t lift you; you’re heavy.”
“I see, but you want me to chuck you around?” I see Mom and Sam sneak up on Dad quietly. Both of them jump on Dad, one on each arm. Dad falls backward into the pool, laughing so much.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Sophie asks from the side of the pool.
“Jump in,” I say. “Dad’s getting smashed by Sam and Mom.”
Sophie strips down to her one-piece and jumps in the pool. “Hello, Sophie,” Dad says with Mom and Sam still hanging off him.
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