Starfall

by R. M. Anderson

  How horrifying! Radianne shuddered. Maybe they weren't so cute after all.

  “We're going to have to pull water from a cactus,” Henrick announced. He stopped by a towering plant and the group came to a halt. He showed them another of the many survival techniques he'd learned as a Wanderer, and they all watched with fascination as he used his dagger to cut pieces from the cactus. He showed them how to suck water from its skin. He also said they could try to dig holes in the sand and explore for additional water sources.

  “Henrick is so smart,” Blink whispered to Radianne. “Though I don't need water, you do. I'm so glad he is on this journey with us.”

  Radianne felt a little hurt at Blink's words. Henrick was indeed very smart when it came to survival in the wild, but she hoped Blink admired her as well. Though, she admitted, she wasn't sure there was all that much to admire. Would she have been completely lost without Henrick?

  After walking on and stopping at different water-spots several times, everyone in the group was hydrated enough to continue on for awhile.

  But as the heat beat down on them and they traversed through the desert, Radianne grew a little irritable despite her initial elation at their arrival. It seemed to be a trend of the journey… after the initial excitement of a new place wore off. And now she was taking Blink's comment to heart and struggled with negativity. Maybe she had been foolish to believe that she could complete the journey on her own. Why did her thoughts keep coming around to that, full circle? She hated the mood swings. They had to be because of Henrick.

  She hadn't been really annoyed with him in days, since the incident by the waterfall, but she once again found herself focusing on his negative qualities. She remembered he had said the Land of the Ongoing Desert could make people lose their sanity, and wondered if her negative thoughts were the start of it.

  Maybe it was the unforgiving heat, but as her mind drifted, she also started to reflect on Henrick's life as a Wanderer and wondered how many other women he had met during his travels. Had he bonded with them as well and then just moved on?

  Was it a common thing for him to seek out women in distress? Or had he simply pitied her and thought her foolish for venturing out on her own? Maybe he would be more than happy to get away from her after Blink returned home.

  A sullen feeling, similar to the emotions she'd felt when she'd first touched down in The Center, began to creep up, despite the fact that Blink was sitting on her shoulder.

  The thought of losing two close, even if new, friends, made her feel terrible and she chided herself for her conflicting and irrational feelings. Henrick might have a lot of mood swings but you aren't much better, she told herself. This is ludicrous.

  When the man on her mind suddenly questioned her silence and surprising lack of interest in her surroundings, Radianne curtly assured him all was well.

  But as they progressed through the hot, sandy, and desolate landscape, her mood continued to sour. And she felt guilty about her feelings because Blink happened to be in especially good spirits. He was talking more and was excited that the land of Shondalina was no longer so far off.

  He enthused about what he was going to do when he went home, and spoke of the many stories he'd have to share with the other stars.

  “They will be amazed!” he said with delight.

  The Floppersnogs chattered amongst themselves in their own language and Radianne sourly wondered why they were still following. Didn't they have anything better to do? Or were they just lonely?

  She looked over to Henrick, who also seemed to be in a sort of foul mood again as well. What about him, she wondered again. Why had he really stopped her that day? Was it all because of loneliness? Or because he was simply bored?

  Nothing better to do, she supposed.

  At that point, she realized her thoughts were getting jumbled and possibly irrational, but she couldn't shake them off.

  Thankfully, the day passed quickly and the sun soon began to set in the sky. Sunsets usually were glorious gifts of nature in Radianne's eyes, but on this day, she thought the sky looked bruised and battered. She couldn't wait to go to bed.

  As usual, Henrick selected the camp for the night. “We should stay there,” he suggested tiredly, pointing to an area encircled by several large boulders. “We won't have to worry about the Desert Dogs as much there, with a good fire going.”

  Radianne didn't even want to ask about the dogs. She watched as he attempted to gather natural resources to make a fire, and when he couldn't find anything, he raised his hands in frustration and scowled.

  “This isn't good. We might freeze tonight.”

  Radianne wrapped her arms tightly around her body. The group gathered around the boulders and watched as the sun went down. The air temperature dropped dangerously low and the Floppersnogs came together in a huddle. The cold weather did not bother Blink. He sat a few feet away.

  Radianne shivered. She was tempted to huddle with the Floppersnogs for warmth. She did not want to ask Henrick… he sat on one of the boulders and rubbed his arms. A sad look was on his face.

  Radianne wondered if he was feeling the same sense of sadness and inexplicable doom she felt. Or, maybe he was was resenting helping them.

  She wished she could be as positive as Blink. Her friend stared up at the sky and she followed his line of vision, noting that the starts seemed to look even more vibrant than ever before against the crisp blackness.

  It was a hopeful sign that maybe she would have enjoyed the sight of much more if she hadn't been so cold and lost in the maze of unpleasant and confusing thoughts and feelings. Instead of keeping her eyes on the light, she felt pulled into shadows.

  Perhaps this desert would turn out to be a nightmare after all.

  Shivering again, she decided she'd had enough of the cold. She was just about to make her way over to cuddle the mother Floppersnog for warmth, when Henrick stood up and came to sit beside her.

  “Here,” he said softly, opening his arms. “No need to suffer.”

  Wrapping his arms around her, he drew her into an embrace. Her first instinct was to fight against him and pull away, given her emotions at that moment. But she was so cold, and his arms were so warm, that she gave in.

  There was no need to suffer more tonight, she decided. But she did wonder how much she was going to suffer after the journey was over with.

  All confusion and negativity soon melted away, as the warmth of Henrick's embrace enveloped her and sent her drifting off in peace.

  **************

  Radianne woke the next morning in a better frame of mind and the day initially began on a good note.

  The group used Henrick's water hunting techniques to start things off. Though out of food, everyone seemed to be in good spirits for the time being. The lot of them had pleasant conversation together and as the morning progressed, nothing out of the ordinary happened.

  But then, around mid-day, a large and fearsome desert lizard suddenly ran out in front of one of the little Floppersnogs. It stood on its hind legs and flicked out its long red tongue, frightening the young one immensely.

  The baby Floppersnog fell over face first into the hot sand and began to cry. The cry soon gave way to loud wails and howls, which enraged mother Floppersnog. She chased after the lizard, shouting “Nog! Nog! Nog!”

  Radianne and Henrick tried to stop her, but she refused to listen to them as she was too intent on exacting her revenge.

  Henrick said he thought the lizard might be poisonous and told everyone to back away from the creature as it ran around in circles.

  Mother Floppersnog would only hear the cries of her child. She believed the lizard should be punished for its crime.

  “Nog!” She barreled toward the bumpy, sandy-colored desert creature.

  It turned and glared up at her with large black eyes.

  Mother Floppersnog stamped her foot and the lizard hissed a warning.

  “Leave the lizard alone,” Henrick instructed again. “Don't bother
it.”

  Turning to look at him, the mother Floppersnog frowned and shook her head. “Nog lizard!”she barked. She then turned her attention back to the offensive desert creature.

  “I'm guessing nog means bad,” Radianne whispered, biting her lip as she watched the unhappy scene unfold. “Come away, let's leave,” she said to the large Floppersnog, gently tugging on her fur. She picked up the smaller, crying furball and cuddled it close. Its howls soon stopped.

  As its cries settled, mother Floppersnog made her way toward her baby. But not before turning and reprimanding the lizard one last time. And as she started to bounce away from it, the lizard ran over and attacked one of her furry feet, biting down hard. Then it scurried away quickly.

  Howling in pain, the Floppersnog hopped up and down, clutching at her foot.

  Henrick whipped his head around. “She's been attacked!” He ran over to her, taking note of the fact that her foot was already starting to swell from the poison.

  Mother Floppersnog sat down in the sand and cried.

  “Oh, that looks bad,” Henrick said quietly as he further examined the injury.

  Radianne joined him and tried to console her injured friend, patting her fur until she started to make a purring sound.

  The little ones surrounded their mother and also tried to give comfort. After awhile, when the condition didn't seem to worsen, the group decided to move on.

  The young Floppersnogs bounced and squealed alongside their limping mother as the group slowly made their way through the desert. Things seemed to be going decently for a time, but then the unsettled feelings began to creep back in, crackling in the air around them.

  It was around this time when tragedy struck.

  Radianne and Blink were having a conversation about the stars once again when suddenly, there was an odd flopping, thumping sound.

  Turning around, they all found mother Floppersnog lying sprawled out across the sand. Her children instantly surrounded her, bouncing up and down and shrieking in dismay.

  “Floppersnogs!” Mother Floppersnog moaned and gasped for air, reaching up with one shaky arm toward her babies.

  Radianne's heart sank. Things did not look good. She and Henrick ran over as Blink trailed slowly behind.

  “Is there anything we can do?” Radianne felt a lump rising in her throat as she took in the Floppersnog's poor physique.

  “It's the poison.” Henrick shook his head sadly. “I thought maybe it wouldn't harm her lethally given it didn't take her right away. Unfortunately, I don't know of any antidote.”

  Mother Floppersnog looked up at her children with large, wet eyes. A tear rolled down her cheek.

  “Flobbersnogs bog gobber,” she said, gasping for air again. “Ma Floppersnog log Floppersnogs.”

  She turned her eyes to Radianne and Henrick. “Tog Floppersnogs.”

  Radianne nodded with understanding as tears fell from her own eyes. She would take care of them. She touched mother Floppersnog's fur gently in consolation, trying to offer some kind of comfort to her in her final moments.

  Death was not something Radianne had much experience with. This new situation was unbearable… hard for her to process. It wasn't fair!

  She turned once more to Henrick. “Isn't there anything we can do?!” she cried. “Don't you know how to save someone who has been poisoned? You do seem to know how to do everything else,” she added a little snidely. Though she knew it was out of line, she couldn't help it.

  Henrick flinched at her words. He shook his head sadly.

  Mother Floppersnog smiled a small and weak smile as she looked around at her babies. As she closed her eyes for the last time and breathed her final breath, Radianne had to look away. She couldn't bear it.

  The young Floppersnog children all began screaming and crying. “Ma Floppersnog! Ma Floppersnog!”

  They nestled against her fur in grief. As they said goodbye to their mother, Radianne, Blink, and Henrick all slowly moved away to a nearby hill of sand and sat down, so as to give the young ones their privacy. They did not talk for awhile as they dealt with their feelings about the sad situation in their own ways.

  Radianne pressed her palms against her eyes and let the tears come. What an awful turn of events, she thought. How horrible to witness a friend's death!

  And then – the mother had asked her and Henrick to take the children. She would take them. But how would she raise the creatures and honor the memory of mother Floppersnog? She knew Henrick wouldn't be around to help her… she was so young herself and knew nothing about raising young ones. The thoughts were hard to bear.

  After they grieved for some time, Radianne made a resolve. She would do her best. She would handle the situation as a grown-up would. She sniffed and stood up. “Shouldn't we give her a proper burial and perform a ceremony or something of that nature?”

  “A burial in this area is impossible,” Henrick said, shaking his head. “The sand is always shifting. But we can say some words to honor her if you'd like.”

  The trio approached the smaller Floppersnogs, who gazed up at them with large, sad, watery eyes.

  “Your mother loved you very much,” Henrick said softly. “This shouldn't have happened. We should have been prepared. But I'm afraid the time has come now to say goodbye. Your mother wants you to come with us.”

  Though she wasn't sure the young Floppersnogs could understand all the words, Radianne was a little annoyed with his bluntness and haste. He certainly wasted no time getting to the point, she thought.

  She patted each one of the young Floppersnogs, trying her best to console them, knowing that it was what they needed most in that moment.

  She walked over to a blooming cactus and broke off a few of the white flowers, carrying them over to place on mother Floppersnog's body.

  “She will rest now,” Henrick said, as Radianne lay the flowers on Mother Floppersnog's hands, near her heart.

  Gathering round, the group said their final goodbyes. And then, it was over all too quickly.

  As they departed, Radianne watched the little Floppersnogs turn to look at their mother one last time, crying and waving goodbye. It was a horribly sad sight. A lump rose in her throat again as she thought once more of her own family. What if that had been her fate, bitten by the lizard? What if she never never had the opportunity to see her own family again?

  She cradled Blink close as they walked, carrying him in her arms, telling herself the journey would be worth all this confusion and pain.

  Blink's energy comforted her once more, even though he too, seemed despondent.

  Everyone was silent for the remainder of the day. As night began to fall, they found another area to rest and Henrick set to work building his usual fire.

  The Floppersnogs huddled together and Radianne tried her best to console them. However, the bad feelings had started to return. The day's sadness had been too much for her and now her despair was giving way to anger again.

  The unpleasant feelings toward Henrick returned as well. After watching Mother Floppersnog die, she now knew with certainty she would have been long gone if Henrick hadn't been along to help. It shamed her. More disturbingly, she knew she would have already failed Blink. She felt like she'd been a foolish child to think she could finish the quest on her own. She wasn't sure why she kept berating herself over those facts, but she supposed it had something to do with her sense of pride and the fact that she had seemed so sure of herself that morning in Miss Lugia's house.

  It was to be was her first real adventure, after all. And she'd so badly wanted to be the hero of the story for once.

  But she was not any kind of hero. She was just a naive young girl. She looked over to her star friend who sat in the sand, watching the Floppersnogs with sympathy. He would get home, she knew, but not because of any special thanks to her. It would mostly be because of Henrick.

  She knew she shouldn't be thinking on such things at that moment, in a time of deep sorrow and loss, but she couldn't help it.

/>   So she sat and brooded. Then, feeling very sorry for herself and unfit to take care of the Floppersnog children, and uncertain of her place on Blink's journey home, she stood up. The Floppersnogs were asleep and Blink also seemed to be asleep. Only Henrick was awake and she didn't want to spend the evening conversing with him. The air was very cold but she decided she needed to get away from the camp for a few moments.

  “I'll be back soon,” she said quietly.

  Henrick jumped up. “Are you out of your mind? It's freezing and this is the time of night that the Desert Dogs begin venturing out.”

  “I need to be alone for a little while. I need to think.”

  “Think here.”

  “No.” Radianne narrowed her eyes at him. He thought he could always control what was going to happen and when. Not this time.

  “Fine.” He frowned and sat down, turning his back to her. He didn't feel like arguing. “Go ahead and go. But don't ask me to warm your frozen body up when you return.”

  “I don't need your permission. Or anyone to warm me up,” Radianne retorted as she marched away, feeling the brutal onslaught of cold instantly, but not really caring.

  The sand looked eerie under the shadows cast by the moonlight. As she walked away from the camp, one of the blood-sucking mice scampered across her path, a few inches away from her feet. She shuddered.

  Her feelings were spiraling out of control, she knew. There was something harsh and unforgiving about this desert, something foul in the air. Perhaps it was indeed making her insane. Hadn't Henrick said that could happen? She thought it had been the death of Mother Floppersnog that had spurned the feelings on, but she also wondered if perhaps Henrick had simply finally gotten the best of her.

  She never would have thought that a man would be capable of turning her world upside down in such a manner, but he had. She struggled with her feelings of inadequacy and not wanting to like him, and, yet, there were those confusing conflicting feelings of not wanting him to leave her when the journey came to an end. She envied and respected him, sometimes felt feelings that she'd never felt with anyone before, but she also couldn't stand him at times. Or how childish he made her feel.