Her hands slip over my back and my cock stirs. I’m aware of how inappropriate it is to think about sex when your mother is facing death but I need Jenna so bad right now it makes no real sense.
Pulling her body up, I slide my cock into her wet depths and her moan vibrates my mouth. I press her back against the tiled wall and thrust into her as she wraps her legs around me.
Hard and quick I make deep strokes into her. My movements are kind of savage as I ram my cock into her as deep as I can.
I need her body to take me away from this horrible nightmare I’m having. This has to be a nightmare. My mother can’t really be facing death.
She just can’t be!
If that was true, I’d never be making love to Jenna in this shower. I’d be crying and pleading with God to save my mother. Not stroking my cock into my girlfriend.
Not slamming into Jenna so hard I can feel her body smashing between mine and the hard wall. Not pounding her until I feel her legs shaking and her body going into convulsive spasms as she has an orgasm but doesn’t take her mouth from mine to groan with the pleasure or shout my name like she does most of the time.
My cock stiffens and I cum in a long burst. I pull my mouth away and say a string of curse words as my semen flows into her, “Fuck! Shit! Fucking Shit!”
Then it hits me like a brick upside my head. I hold Jenna to me tight and let it happen. A wave washes over me and I cry as I hide my eyes in her shoulder.
Her hands run softly over my back as she says, “It’s okay. Let it all out.”
My body is shaking. “Jenna, what if I lose her?”
“Don’t think like that. It’ll be okay,” she whispers.
I’m crying so hard my words come out in hiccupped bursts, “I haven’t talked to her since that day. Not really talked to her like we used to talk. What if she dies, and this is how it ends?”
“You can fix it, Reed. Don’t worry. Everything can be fixed. You’ll see,” she says as she runs her hand over my head and I do feel somewhat better. “You can hire the best doctors for her and get her the best treatment possible. You can help her. Have faith, Reed.”
My crying slows and I pull back and look at her. Running my hands over her wet hair, I push it back. “What did I do to deserve you, Jenna?”
She smiles. “No telling. So let’s get you out of this shower and into some clothes. I’ll call the charter service and let them know it’s an emergency.”
As she turns off the water, I grab her from behind and hug her. “You are amazing!”
“No, I’m just good in a crisis.” She turns in my arms and looks at me with shiny green eyes. “And I love you very much and hate to see you in pain.”
“Seems we have that in common. Jenna, are you sure you can handle seeing Rod?” I look deep into her eyes to find the real truth in them.
She blinks and smiles. “For you, I can handle anything that’s thrown at me. Even a big asshole like Rod. Put that out of your mind. This thing with your mother is bigger than the shit with me and him. I can put the asshole in his place now with ease. I love your mother too.”
“And she does love you too. I know she has her opinion that you were a willing participant in the things you did with Rod and all and I don’t like that. I don’t like it one bit. But she does love you. And she doesn’t judge you about what you did.” I run my hands up and down her back.
“Reed, the fact is that I was a willing participant. He never chained me up where I couldn’t leave. I could’ve walked away if I had wanted to. At that time, he was all I knew. And I know it’s hard to believe or understand but I loved him and thought I was helping him in some way by showing him that I could be what he needed. He could hurt me and I would still be there. It was stupid and naïve of me to think I wouldn’t suffer any harm from the abuse. But thanks to you and our therapist, I can see the past for what it is and learn from it instead of letting it hurt me any longer.”
I watch her talk and know she thinks what she’s saying is true. And in her mind I suppose it is. But I know that when she has to look at Rod things will hit her hard.
And I should leave her here and not make her deal with this yet. She hasn’t had enough therapy to be able to handle him yet.
Sometimes life makes things happen before we’re ready for them, though. And this seems like one of those times.
“I’ll be there for you, Jenna. You won’t have to do anything alone. I’ll stay with you every second so he can’t do anything to hurt you.” I reach out and grab a towel and wrap her up in it then take one to dry myself off.
Jenna smiles at me as she dries off. “Hopefully, I won’t have to use it, but I have a bottle of pepper spray in my purse and if he touches me, I’ll use it on him.”
“Smart thinking.” I pull her into my arms again. “We have to face this sometime anyway, don’t we?”
With a tweak to my nose, she says, “We do. We’re going to be married in May, only six months from now. Rod’s going to be my brother-in-law. You and I have to learn how to handle the dastardly man.”
With a hug, I kiss the top of her head. “We really have no choice. We have to face him head on and just be more stubborn than he is.”
I let her go, and she takes my hand and leads me to the bed where she has my clothes laid out for me. “I was reading the other day about facing what you’re afraid of. When you hide from it, it and show it you’re afraid, it gets stronger. That’s why I was talking to you about talking to Rod and letting him know I’m not afraid of him anymore.”
I watch her pull on a pair of little blue silk panties and a matching bra and listen to her talk, but I know Rod is a danger to her. He kidnapped her and God only knows what he planned to do to her.
But I have to wrap my head around the fact we do have to confront him at some time about this. I just hope he cares more about our mother than he does with his obsession with Jenna. So we can begin to put things in the past and move forward.
If not, then this whole thing will get very messy and I don’t want that. For my family’s sake, I don’t want that.
But people don’t always get what they want!
Chapter 29
JENNA
The sun has still not lit up the sky as Reed and I walk into the hospital his mother is in. It’s six in the morning and her surgery is only hours away. The Intensive Care Unit nurse leads us to her room and tells us each visit can only be ten minutes long.
Sue’s eyes are closed as we walk into the glass room full of monitors which are hooked up to her.
“Mom,” Reed whispers.
Her eyes open and she smiles. “You made it.”
“Of course, I did.” He lets my hand go and hugs her best he can with all her attachments. “How do you feel?”
“Awful. Can you believe I have a golf ball sized tumor in my head?” She looks at me and a frown covers her face. “You know Rod’s here, right?”
I nod. “Yes, mam. Don’t worry, there will be no trouble. I promise.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Promise me that, Jenna.”
“I promise, Sue. I’ll leave if there is any.”
She nods. Reed looks back at me with his lips held tightly together. Then he looks back at his mother. “Don’t worry about a thing except getting better.”
“I wish I could just stop worrying. Maybe it’s the tumor that has me so riled up all the time. I just worry over everything lately. And Rod and Reed and their relationship is at the very top.” Sue looks at me again. “If I die…”
Reed stops her. “Mom, don’t even talk like that.”
She pats his hand he’s holding hers with. “I might die, Son. It’s a fact and I have little time to get this out there. I want my family back. I want you two boys to kiss and make up. I want it back. I can’t stand how things are. If you two can’t come to some middle ground where Jenna’s concerned than I expect your blood to come before anything else.”
My heart stops as I know what she’s saying. If they can’t fi
gure out how to get along with this, then I need to step out of the picture.
Reed looks at her. “Mom, I won’t ever let her go.”
“I know that. Neither of you will. That’s why I’m talking to Jenna. Woman to woman. You understand me, don’t you, Jenna? I love you and I don’t want you to think I don’t. My family is the most important thing to me. My sons are all that will be left of me and I want them to be able to have a relationship. If they can figure things out, great. If they can’t stop playing tug-of-war over you then I expect you to take care of that. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. The Manning boys are not the only men in the world, you know.”
“Mom, don’t,” Reed says.
She pats his hands again. “I have to.”
I nod. “I understand and respect you, Sue. I will get out of the way if that’s what I have to do to honor your wishes. I promise you.”
Reed turns back to me with a terrified look on his handsome face but says nothing. The nurse comes back in. “Time is up. She can have another visit in twenty minutes.”
Reed kisses his mother and I give her a wave then we leave. Reed’s hand is shaking in mine and I know that was the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.
A waiting room on the left is open and empty and he pulls me into it then shuts and locks the door. I’m pulled into his arms as his whole body shakes and he cries even harder than he did when he first found this out.
“Jenna, you can’t walk away if Rod and I can’t come to terms over you! You can’t!”
“I’ll do all I can to make sure you two can come to terms for her sake. She just wants to keep her family intact. I completely understand her.”
It’s so hard not to cry when he’s so hurt and afraid but I feel I have to shove my fear aside and only show him strength at this time. I can go off when I’m alone and cry my eyes out but for now, I have to be strong for him.
“Mom doesn’t understand how deeply I love you. If I lose you because of him, I won’t want a relationship with him, anyway.” He pulls back and looks at me with tears running down his face. It makes my heart hurt. “I can’t handle this thing with her and this thing with you too.”
“What do you want me to say? If I’m a source of friction, then I’ll be making things worse for your family. You are part of something, Reed. You are a part of a family. And I may be a thing that breaks you all apart. I can’t do that.”
He holds me tighter and squeezes me. “Jenna, please just stay the hell away from Rod and things will be okay. I’ll make sure they are. Please.”
“Of course, I’ll stay the hell away from him.”
And just as the words leave my mouth I see Rod walking by the room we’re in. The lights are off and the window is tinted and I can see him but he can’t see us.
My heart begins to pound as I recall the last time I saw him he was pulling the nightgown over my head and then binding my hands together while another guy bound my feet. Then he placed a gag in my mouth and threw me over his shoulder then tossed me into a tiny trunk.
Suddenly, I feel bile welling up in my throat. “Fuck! I have to go to the bathroom, Reed. Sorry!”
I run out of the room and don’t look back as I take off toward the place I saw the ladies room sign. I barely make it in then throw up in the trashcan.
The nerves have finally taken me over and I keep throwing up until all that’s left are dry heaves. A knock comes on the door and Reed pushes it open.
“Is anyone else in here?” he asks as he holds his hand over his eyes.
“No, only me. You can come in.”
He pulls his hand away. “Are you okay?”
“I will be. I just had to toss my cookies with all the nerves, you know.” I try to smile but it’s hard.
“I’m running to the car to get you a mint to help you. I’ll be right back. Meet me at the ICU and we can go back in and see Mom. It’s about time again.”
I nod. “I have to wash my face, anyway. I’ll meet you there.”
He leaves me alone and I lean against the wall and try to regain my composure. I have to figure out how to fix this and I have no real clue how to do that.
After washing my mouth out with water and rinsing my face to ease the flush on it from the puking, I walk out and head toward the ICU.
“Jenna!”
I look up and Rod is right there and I’m grabbed up before I realize how close he is.
“Rod!”
He moves us into a small closet and closes the door. He’s crying and shaking and I don’t feel like he wants to hurt me.
“Jenna, what am I going to do? If Mom doesn’t make it, this is going to kill me. I can’t help but blame this on myself. She’s been so worried about me and she has every reason to. I’m living hard. Harder than I ever have. When I lost you, I lost my way. I need to find my way back, Jenna. I need you back.”
He pulls back and looks at me but doesn’t let me go. “Rod, I don’t know what you want me to say. I can be there for you as a friend but that’s all. I want us all to get along.”
He shakes his head. “No. No, Jenna. I need you. I need you more than I ever have needed anyone. Please. Please, Jenna, I’m begging you.”
“Rod, I love Reed. I can’t be any more than your friend,” I tell him as I look into his steel-blue eyes that are filled with more tears than I’ve ever seen in them before.
“Jenna, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I did to you. Every last bit of it. I’ll never hurt you again. I swear to you I won’t. You loved me once. I know I didn’t let you say the words but I know you did. You can find that love for me again. Especially when I treat you the way I should’ve always treated you. Give me a chance, Jenna. I’ll be dead in a year if you don’t take me back. I know I will.”
I’m in a trance. I don’t know what to tell him. “I love Reed. I’m marrying Reed. I need you to come to terms with that.”
“I need you to come to terms with this. I love you, Jenna. I always have.” His tears stop falling as he looks into my eyes. “I need you. I love you. I want to make it all up to you. Make up for all the wrong things I’ve done to you. All of it.”
My head is spinning. “Rod, I need to go.”
“I’ll prove it all to you. You’ll see.” He lets me go. “I will let you go because I know you will come back to me. You may think you love my brother and you might love him. But you and I loved each other first. You and I have history. You and I began a life together and we can finish our lives together. You’ll see. I tore up the contracts I had with you and that other girl. I set her free too. You’re both free. I don’t want her back. I want you back. I want us to pick up where we left off. Things were good before I had to leave. You know they were. We were in love, Girl. You know we were. If I hadn’t gotten myself into trouble than we’d have gotten married. You know that.”
“Rod, I have to go.” I turn the knob and leave the closet feeling like I might faint. When I look up I see Reed walking down the hallway toward me. “There you are. Are you okay?” he asks.
Then Rod walks out behind me and Reed stops dead in his tracks. Then he starts coming at Rod fast and furious. I hold out my hand. “No! He didn’t hurt me. He didn’t do anything to me. He just cried and hugged me. No reason to fight. No reason to fight at all.” I take a step to the side and turn to walk away.
Reed calls out, “Where are you going?”
“To the car.” I walk faster as I feel like I might pass out. “I have to get away from here.”
“I’ll be out there in a minute, Angel,” Reed says.
Then I hear Rod say, “Reed, you and I need to talk.”
I run the rest of the way until I get outside then I sit on a bench and try desperately to catch my breath. My world is turning upside down and I can’t find the right direction I need to be going in.
The fact is, I’m ripping this family apart. Rod wants me, Reed wants me and neither will give up.
I waited a long time to hear Rod admit he loves me and I thoug
ht with my love for Reed it wouldn’t affect me. But it did.
Not in the way I expected. It made something inside me happy he finally admitted it. And I found I do still have love for him buried deep in my heart.
His pain hurts me too. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about that. Our history has affected me. I guess that love I found for him all those years ago was strong. So strong the small flame sparked up when he finally told me he loved me.
But the fire I have for Reed is huge, and it runs deep. And in a perfect world, Reed and I could get married and have babies and all would be right. But this world is far from perfect and with Rod’s stubborn refusal to let me go and do what’s best for me, I will never have what I crave with Reed.
No family functions will go smoothly. His mother will most likely die from the stress their feuding will cause her. And there I’ll be, the big catalyst who single-handedly destroyed a family. A once very happy family.
A car pulls up and their father, Jason, gets out of it. His face is pale with worry and he looks down. He doesn’t even see me.
As he passes me, I say, “Hello, Jason.”
He stops and turns back. “Jenna? Why on Earth would you come here? This is all your fault. You know that, right?”
His accusation has me cringing. “No, I don’t think this is from me. Rod said himself it was he who caused her stress.”
“Only because of you. I never knew you to be selfish. But you are one selfish woman, Jenna. My family has fallen apart, and you did that.” He turns back and takes two steps then stops. He doesn’t look back. “When are you going to stop being selfish?”
I look down as his footsteps fade away.
When will I stop?
Chapter 30
REED
Rod takes me by the shoulder and steers me to a waiting room. “Reed, you and I need to talk. I can’t take life like this anymore and Mom obviously can’t either.”
I go along with him in a very odd state of mind. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here. This situation is beyond odd and confusing. “I agree. We have to work things out. Jenna was nearly hurt because of this.”
Shattered: A Billionaire Romance Series (Contemporary Romance Novels) Page 89