I dropped to my knees, trying to get a grip on this wild fear. Why was I worrying about roses when I had finally found the key to escaping my dream?
With renewed determination, I touched the ground and drew another pool of liquid stars. I meant to seek out Hale, to finally complete that first assignment he’d given me. But when I looked into the pool of stars, a single spark was already travelling toward me. As it emerged from the pool, I felt a little flutter in my chest. This spark felt familiar, warm, safe. I let my hand close around it, ignoring the part of me that urged caution. The world seemed to shift.
I found myself in a deserted parking garage. The skies were murky and dark; there was an ominous feel to this place. Someone grabbed my shoulder.
“What are you doing here?” Lucas pulled me behind a structural support column. “We have to run!”
I felt my eyes widen in understanding. A nightmare. I took Lucas’ hand in mine. “It’s okay, Lucas,” I said.
“No. It’s out there. It’s coming...”
I leaned forward and kissed him. I felt a rush of sensation, a quieter version of the storm I’d felt in the theater. Lucas’ resistance fell away. He curled his arms around me. The dreamscape shifted around us, and I pulled back from the kiss.
We were standing at the edge of an ocean, too beautiful to be real. Water undulated as far as the eye could see, hemmed by a gleaming white beach. As we watched, the sun scrolled through the sky, dropping the day into sunset, bathing this imagined world in russet light.
Lucas brushed my cheek with the backs of his fingers. The sensation was pleasant, but muted. Nothing felt quite real here. Not his touch, not the sand beneath our feet. And yet... I didn’t care. Hale had been right. A simple kiss was more than enough.
I opened my eyes to find light streaming into my room. I snuggled deeper into the covers, smiling. What a dream. I felt invigorated. Powerful. I swung my legs out of bed and walked to the window. Lucas’ drapes were still closed. The murmur of voices reached me from downstairs. It sounded like Hale was talking with my father. I pulled my clothes on, skipping the shower. I raced downstairs just as Hale and Dad were walking to the front door.
“I did it. I broke out of my dream,” I said.
Hale’s face transformed with joy. “Fantastic. Fantastic!”
Dad’s smile was a little more reserved. “Do you think you can do it again?”
“Yeah. It... I was going about it all wrong before.” I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “Karayan showed me how to do it.” Their smiles faded. “I need to tell you something else.” They listened closely as I told them what Karayan had said about striking at the Guard as soon as the Wall came down. Dad’s eyes clouded when I told them how Karayan tried to get me to join her sisters. Hale looked grim when I had finished.
“Thank you. You were right to tell us everything,” Hale said. I felt a twinge. I hadn’t told them everything. I had made no mention of what I’d done to Parker, or how I’d spent the rest of the night. Hale glanced at Dad. “It sounds like Karayan is deeply involved.”
“Thane won’t like that.”
Hale grimaced. “I don’t plan on telling him. I’ve got Gretchen searching for hunting grounds that may or may not exist. I need Thane focused on his search for minds touched by Lilitu.”
My breath caught.
Hale sighed and turned to my dad. “Speaking of impossible tasks, you and I should get started canvassing the city for Thrall.”
“Right. We should be back by dinner,” Dad said, squeezing my shoulder.
I caught his hand before he withdrew. “Wait,” I said. “Can I...” I glanced at Hale, uneasy. “Can I talk to you alone for a second, Dad?”
“Meet me outside when you’re ready,” Hale told Dad. He walked out, leaving us alone.
“What is it, honey?” Dad asked, concerned.
“What does that mean... minds touched by Lilitu?”
Dad shrugged, surprised by the question. “Whenever Lilitu interfere with someone’s sleeping mind, they leave a residual connection behind.”
“But... I thought dreams were safe,” I said.
“Most of the time they are,” Dad said quickly, sensing my anxiety. “We’re talking about what happens when a Lilitu wants to hurt someone. But that’s a very intentional process,” he continued, offering a comforting smile. “Don’t worry, honey. You won’t accidently hurt someone in a dream.”
I lowered my eyes, trying to hide the roiling panic from Dad. “How do you find people after a Lilitu’s touched their mind?”
“Thane’s very good at IDing victims by extreme or uncharacteristic behavior,” Dad said. “Once he finds them, Gretchen can spot the connection and, if it’s strong enough, trace it back to the Lilitu responsible. Thane’s trying to locate potential victims right now.”
“So, Lilitu can hurt people without sleeping with them?” I asked. My voice sounded hollow.
“Yes.” Dad looked at me more closely. “Are you all right, honey?”
“Just... surprised,” I said, forcing a smile. “I keep learning more.”
Dad squeezed my shoulder. “Like I said, you can’t hurt someone in a dream unless you’re trying to. So don’t worry so much. Anything else?” he asked. I shook my head. “All right. I’ll see you later on tonight.” Dad kissed my forehead and left. I sank into the couch.
All day, the gnawing feeling in my stomach grew stronger and stronger. No one had told me Lilitu left traces when they interfered with someone’s mind. I’d felt a hesitation before planting the seed in Parker’s dream. Why had I gone through with it?
By dinner, I was plagued by an almost constant fear: what would happen if Thane and Gretchen discovered what I had done to Parker?
Chapter 15
“So,” Thane said, sitting down at our dining room table that night. “You’re finally ready to begin the search for Ais. You’ve certainly left little enough time to spare.” I felt Dad shift beside me, but he managed to hold his tongue. Hale, who had joined us for this conversation at Dad’s request, gave Thane a disapproving frown.
“Just tell me how to find her,” I said, trying to keep the hostility in my voice at a reasonable level.
“What makes you think I’d know how to do that?” Thane asked.
“You... you’re...?” I stared at him, flabbergasted. “Hale said you were a lucid dreamer.”
Hale spoke, explaining gently. “He’s human, Braedyn. His abilities are limited to navigating his own dreams.”
I turned to Dad. “Then why is he sitting in our dining room?”
“When you escaped your dream, where did you go?” Thane asked, as though I hadn’t spoken.
I eyed him defensively. “Into another dream.”
“Directly?”
“Yes,” I said, trying to figure out where this was going.
“You chose whose dream you wanted to visit.” He wasn’t asking a question, but I nodded anyway. “How did you find him?”
“I pictured him in my head,” I answered. “The dream came to me. But I’ve never seen Ais. How am I supposed to picture her?”
Thane leaned back in his chair, thinking. “Perhaps you’ll have to search for her in the larger dream space.”
I felt something shift inside - frustration giving way to curiosity. “When Karayan talked about dreams,” I said, noticing Thane’s face tighten at the mention of Karayan’s name. “She described them as bubbles in a larger sea.” Thane nodded gruffly. I swallowed. “So if dreams are bubbles, what is the sea?”
“That,” Hale said quietly, “is a great mystery. But if you can explore it, you may find the answer.”
Thane regarded me. “And with it, Ais.”
My blood-drop roses gleamed pale white in the strange non-light of the dream world. I sat on the ground, staring into another pool of stars. As I gazed into it, I focused on the darkness instead of the glittering lights. The dream-stars scattered out of view, leaving a glassy blackness in their wake. I placed my hand on th
e surface of the pool, and heard again Karayan’s earlier words. Don’t think like a human. It seemed impossible, and yet - I wasn’t human. The closer we got to Winter Solstice, the more claustrophobic my world had grown. I closed my eyes. I wanted to set these burdens aside, even if only for one night. I wanted to surrender.
I felt the surface of the pool beneath my hand give way, and I opened my eyes.
I was sliding into blackness. The dark was infinite and unrelenting. I felt myself falling away from a gleaming seed of light. I recognized it – even from a distance – as my own dream and reached out for it. In an instant I was speeding toward the dream again. With a thrill of excitement, I realized even the smallest thought was enough to change course. It was better than flying. I had absolute control of my movement. I became aware of more gleaming flickers of light at the edge of the darkness. Once I noticed them, they swirled toward me like tiny fireflies whirling in graceful eddies. I sensed Lucas’ sleeping mind as it drew closer, but I didn’t reach out to touch it. Instead, I sharpened my gaze and looked further into the darkness. Lights filled the vast space.
I tried an experiment, focusing on Karayan’s face in my mind’s eye. Another seed of light drew closer, but this one was haloed by a ring of blue. The color reminded me of the flame of a Bunsen burner in chemistry class. It grew nearer, but I could sense nothing from it. I touched it and felt Karayan’s attention turning toward me from within her dream. I released the dream - and once more could sense nothing from the haloed seed of light. Was every Lilitu’s dream was similarly shielded? As I thought this, a smattering of blue-tinged lights lifted out of the swarm and whirled around me in a tight orbit, each one of them a mystery.
I sat up in bed, waking in a slick sheen of sweat.
“Dad?” I said, two minutes later, standing at the edge of his bed. He shifted, saw me, and sat up, turning on his bedside light.
“Braedyn? What is it, honey?”
“Thane was wrong,” I said. “I can’t find Ais. Not in a dream. Not without giving myself away.” I was shaking with adrenaline.
“Slow down.” Dad glanced at the clock on his nightstand. It was three fifteen in the morning. “Maybe you’d better start from the top.”
I took a deep, steadying breath. “Lilitu dreams are... shielded. You can’t sense anything about them unless you touch them. But if you touch them, they know.” I shivered in the cold night air.
“Okay.” Dad frowned. “No more poking around in the dream space tonight. Let me talk to Thane and Hale. Try to figure out how this changes things. Why don’t you just try to get some rest.”
I nodded and walked slowly back to my room. I climbed into bed and pulled the blankets up around my chin. But I couldn’t shake the chill that had followed me out of the vast darkness of the dream.
With a small twinge of conscience, I slipped back into sleep.
I found Lucas in a dream, and remade the world around us. In a heartbeat, we were curling into a deep loveseat in front of a merrily blazing fire. I leaned against Lucas’ chest and he wrapped his arms around me.
“I was hoping you’d come,” he said. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
I felt a prickle of alarm. Was this just dream talk, or did some part of Lucas sense I wasn’t a regular dream? But when his arms tightened around me, my alarm eased. So what if he remembered this dream? People dream about their friends all the time.
“Nothing could have kept me away,” I murmured, and realized it was true. My life had become a long list of obligations and warnings. But in the dream, I could be with Lucas like a normal teenage girl.
Lucas lowered his face toward me and brushed my lips with his. A rosy warmth filled my chest. Whatever guilt I felt, I pushed to the back of my mind. Hale may have forbidden this, but he didn’t know how Lucas and I felt about each other. This was the only way I could kiss Lucas and be sure of not hurting him. Even if it wasn’t as nice as reality, it was something. I woke to early morning sunlight streaming through my window.
Dad was eating breakfast downstairs. He looked haggard.
“Dad?” I asked, worried.
“I don’t think we should press our luck,” he said quietly. “If Ais can read minds, like Thane seems to think she can, then your seeking her out would only alert her to our plans.”
I bit my lip. After waking him up, I’d gone back to sleep to spend the rest of the night happily with Lucas. I hadn’t given Ais another thought. But Dad... it didn’t look like he’d been back to sleep since then. It was now two weeks before Winter Solstice, and I had just torpedoed the Guard’s best hope for finding Ais. No wonder Dad looked wrung out.
“No more waiting around,” he said. “It’s time for us to act.” Dad stood, draining the last of his coffee decisively. “You go on to school, sweetheart.”
“What are you going to do?” I asked, suddenly nervous for him.
“I’m going to talk to Hale.”
At school, I wandered the hallway, only half-seeing what was in front of me.
“Braedyn,” Lucas said. “I’ve been waiting for you.” I turned, my breath catching. But Lucas didn’t seem to remember speaking those very words to me in his sleep last night. “Walk you to class?”
“Yeah,” I said, forcing my shoulders to relax.
On our way across the quad, we spotted a small huddle of students. Parker stood at the center of the group, leaning against a tree. He looked awful. His usually gleaming black hair was listless. His ice-blue eyes were ringed with deep bags, and his clothes were disheveled. Parker looked up and saw me.
“You need to eat something.” I heard Amber’s voice from the crowd, then saw her standing by Parker, concerned.
“Braedyn,” Parker breathed, looking at me. Amber turned, aggravated.
“What’s wrong with him?” I asked. I tried to read Parker’s face. The pain in his eyes was so intense I felt it like a knife in my stomach. Whatever I thought I’d wanted to do to Parker... the results terrified me. He looked like a convicted murderer, stunned and afraid and utterly helpless to take back what he’d done.
“Leave us alone,” Amber snapped. “This isn’t your problem.”
“Come on,” Lucas said stiffly. “Let him stew.”
Parker’s face was a shadow in my mind for the rest of the morning.
At lunch, Royal and Lucas sat on either side of me. They kept up a light conversation, but I was too entrenched in my thoughts to pay much attention. Ten minutes before the end of lunch, Parker approached our table. Royal and Lucas stiffened. Parker stopped at the chair Cassie used to occupy.
“How is she?” Parker asked, hollowly.
“Excuse me?” Royal said, looking up in disbelief.
“Cassie,” Parker said.
Royal stood to face Parker. Compared to the soccer captain, Royal looked as slender as a twig. But the anger in his face was real and powerful. “Turn around and walk away,” Royal said.
“I... is she okay?”
“She’s not okay, man,” Lucas said, standing to join Royal. “You should leave.”
“Maybe... if I talk to her?” Parker started.
Royal swung out. Parker staggered back, cupping his face in surprise. A shout went up. The soccer team sprang forward to get Parker’s back. Royal wasn’t a fighter, but he was ready to take Parker on. Lucas stepped in front of Royal, but Royal pushed him aside.
“You never,” Royal growled at Parker, his voice quivering. “Never speak to Cassie again.”
One of Parker’s friends grabbed Royal by his shirt. “You giving orders now?”
“Leave him alone,” Parker said. There was no anger in him at all, just misery.
His friend released Royal with a grimace. “Whatever. I don’t hit girls.”
With the situation diffused, the crowd melted away, somewhat disappointed there hadn’t been another fight. Parker hung back. Lucas and I hemmed Royal on either side, ready to keep him from going after Parker again now that the teachers were on alert.
“Tell her I’m sorry,” Parker said quietly. Then he left, and the eyes of the school followed him back to his table.
“He’s really messed up,” Lucas said.
“Good.” Royal straightened his shirt. “He should suffer. It’s what he deserves.”
“No argument here.” Lucas glanced at me. I had to force myself to breathe. Parker was losing himself, bit by bit. And it was only going to get worse. I knew this, without a shadow of a doubt, because when I planted that seed in his mind, this is exactly what I had wanted.
“No luck,” Gretchen said, answering Hale’s question around a mouthful of spaghetti. “I haven’t found even a hint of a hunting ground anywhere. I’ve hit the clubs downtown, the bus station, bars...” she swallowed and sighed. “I even spent a day at the dog track. Nothing.”
Thane looked up from scouring the local newspaper. “The police are suggesting the possibility of a serial killer in Puerto Escondido. A serial killer stalking men,” he said.
“Sounds like a Lilitu screen,” Gretchen mumbled.
“The thing that stumps me,” Dad said, grabbing another roll from the basket, “is how we haven’t found any Thrall roaming the streets. If that many local men have been attacked, we should have run across at least one by now.”
“The Lilitu are being careful,” Hale said quietly. “We’re going to have to change tactics. I think we should divide the city into grids to help focus the search. Don’t rule anything out until it’s been examined.”
“I can help,” Lucas offered. Everyone turned to him.
“Absolutely not,” Gretchen said.
“I just want to help you search,” Lucas said. “I know the signs. It’s not like I’m going to try to take another Thrall on singlehandedly.”
“Sorry, Lucas,” Hale said. “I’m with Gretchen on this one.”
Thrall (Daughters Of Lilith) Page 20