by Jocelyn Fox
“Good morning,” said Liam from his seat by the table. Breakfast and a steaming pot of khal sent enticing aromas into the air. Calliea’s stomach rumbled. She stood and stretched again, surveying Liam surreptitiously. Tess’s brother bore some resemblance to the Bearer physically – their green eyes certainly matched, and a certain slant to their cheekbones. But his hair was a bit darker than hers, coaxed into gold at the ends now by time out in the sun. He held a book in his hands, looking perfectly content to sit and read though his muscled frame belied the scholarly pursuit. In that, he and Tess were similar too.
Liam marked his page in the book with one finger and looked at Calliea. “It’s good to see a smile on your face at the start of the day.”
“I was just thinking about the similarities between you and your sister,” Calliea replied. She padded barefoot across the room and took a seat at the table, pouring herself a mug of khal.
“Coffee first. A woman after my own heart,” said Liam.
“This isn’t coffee. Oh, I should have brought some of that back. Or I suppose Tess could, when she returns from this latest trip to your home.” Calliea sipped at the khal, feeling its warmth spread down her throat and bloom in her stomach as she swallowed.
“You know,” said Liam thoughtfully, “I don’t really consider the mortal world my home anymore.”
“It is the place of your birth,” pointed out Calliea.
“But one’s home is much more than the place where you’re born,” countered Liam. “Would you say that your home is the Seelie Court now?”
“Point taken.” Calliea smiled into her mug. “I can only imagine the debates between you and Tess when you were younger.”
Liam chuckled. “Oh, they were pretty epic. Tess has always had her opinions.”
Calliea took a deep breath and tried to focus on breakfast, but she felt as though a suffocating fog waited in the back of her mind, ready to envelope her in grief at the first thought of Gray.
“We loved her too,” said Liam. “She was…incomparable.”
Calliea nodded. “In every sense of the word. Which was infuriating sometimes, seeing as I was always compared to her.” Her chuckle came out strangled. She raised her mug to her lips, struggling to push down the tears that suddenly choked her.
“I’m not going to judge you if you cry,” Liam continued, his tone of voice no different than the moment prior. “Hell, I cried last night.”
“Did you spend most of the day yesterday with Finnead?” Calliea asked, taking a plate and filling it with food. Maybe if she ate something she would feel less…sad.
“Most of the day and most of the night.” He nodded. “The Lethe Stone ripping memories from his head left some physical discomfort.”
“Such as?” Calliea said in alarm. She hadn’t felt anything too shocking through their bond, but maybe it was just because she was a novice at reading the shared emotion.
“Almost like the flu. Not a big deal, except you guys don’t get the flu, apparently.” He raised one eyebrow. “It’s a mortal illness. You throw up a lot, feel like you got trampled by a galloping horse, lasts anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of weeks for some people, all said and done.”
“That sounds…terrible.” Calliea wrinkled her nose. She reached out tentatively through her bond with Finnead and found him still sleeping, the invisible thread that led to him undulating serenely, echoing the deep, easy breathing of one far away in slumber. “He’s sleeping now, though.”
“He is,” Liam said in satisfaction. “Keep practicing that. It’ll be second nature soon.”
“Will I ever hear words or anything like that, or will it still be like these…threads?”
“Vell is the only one who can actually speak through the bond,” said Liam. “Or…let me rephrase that. She’s the only one who does.” He shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t have any particular need to shout into other people’s heads.”
Calliea chuckled. “And that is much appreciated.”
They lapsed into an easy silence. Calliea ate her breakfast and did feel better, though the grief tightening her chest didn’t exactly retreat. When she finished, she leaned back in her chair and ran her fingers over her braided hair, deciding that it had stayed sufficiently neat to serve another day. “So, what’s the agenda for today?”
The first full day without Gray, a voice in the corner of her mind whispered.
“Taking stock of the damage from Mab’s attack, first of all. The funeral pyre will be tonight for the warriors we lost,” said Liam. He refilled his mug from the pot of khal. “Andraste is still asleep in Vell’s chambers. She’ll most likely stay there until Vell can contact Titania.”
“Is she going to tell Titania about Andraste?” said Calliea. “And do you think Mab will attack again now that we’ve taken her sister?”
“We’ve doubled the watches and your Valkyrie are still flying patrols along the border of the Unseelie territory,” said Liam. “Vell gave Moira permission to go into the mortal world with Tess, by the way. I know she’s not technically a Valkyrie yet, but she flew the mission with you yesterday.”
Calliea nodded. “We have a few mounts who have lost riders, so I intend to make Moira a Valkyrie when she returns. She fought well and showed natural skill in the air.”
“There was a reason I didn’t try to be a pilot,” said Liam, raising his mug to her. “We have machines that fly in the mortal world, and in wars our pilots function kinda like the Valkyrie. They fly missions, they conduct surveillance, they drop bombs on the bad guys. Or…hopefully on the bad guys.” He sobered for a moment, shadows surfacing behind his gaze. “Anyway, one ride in a training jet and I threw up and I knew that wasn’t for me.” He grinned. “I’ll jump out the back of a plane any day, just don’t ask me to get behind the controls.”
Calliea narrowed her eyes. “I only understood about half of that, but I think I comprehend your overall meaning.”
Liam laughed. “Hey, a fifty percent pickup from that isn’t half bad.”
She couldn’t tell whether he was genuinely amused by her or, like most men, was laughing at his own words. So she just grinned and finished her mug of khal. “Do you have to go back to Finnead?”
“Sage is with him for the day,” said Liam.
Calliea tilted her head. “For a Seelie, he is often with the Vyldgard.”
Liam took a deep breath. “See, if you were any ordinary Vyldgard warrior, I’d just let that comment pass, or say something about how the Seelie are our allies. But now…you should know that there’s talk that Sage might be baptized. Perhaps even tonight.”
“That will make Robin happy,” said Calliea. She liked the Seelie healer, but she liked seeing puckish Robin happy even more.
“Maybe. Being in separate Courts hasn’t proven any obstacle to them yet,” replied Liam. “But we should keep close tabs on Vell. I don’t want her to overextend herself with a war brewing.”
Calliea nodded. “If it’s any measure, she said that she could have helped Titania with the Lesser Gate yesterday, but she let the Seelie Queen handle it on her own.”
“I might have advocated that position,” said Liam with a grin.
“Thanks for bringing breakfast and khal.” Calliea stood and spied her boots over by the tub. She walked over and pulled them on, coiling her whip and clipping it to her belt.
“Thought it was the least I could do. The first day can be rough.” Liam leaned back in his chair and stretched, the cloth of his shirt straining over his back and shoulders.
“I’ll manage.” Calliea dredged up a more convincing smile. She brushed some of the wrinkles out of the bottom of her shirt. “Any other messages from Vell?”
“She wants us in her chamber at noon for a meeting,” said Liam. “Otherwise, we’re to help with the cleanup as we see fit.”
Calliea nodded. “I’m going to go check on Kyrim at the Valkyrie paddocks, and then I’ll probably head over to the practice yards to help there.”
&nb
sp; “If the Queen needs us, she’ll call,” said Liam. “And you already know this, but she’d rather you be there quickly than take the time to make yourself presentable. Actually, I think she prefers it when we show up filthy from whatever we’ve been doing. It lets her know that we aren’t sitting around idly.”
“She would know that anyway,” pointed out Calliea. She realized that this was the longest conversation she’d ever had with Liam one-on-one. He was surprisingly easy to talk to. She knew he was a fierce warrior in battle – there weren’t many mortals who could even dream of holding their own against the Sidhe, and he’d distinguished himself at the Dark Keep before he had the fragment of a deity embedded deep within him. But despite his fearsome reputation, he spoke with relaxed ease. She liked him.
“She would,” he allowed. He grinned. “There’s also the possibility that she just likes seeing us dirty.”
Calliea chuckled. “How does Finnead take that?”
“Finn has known Vell longer than either of us,” said Liam, tilting his head in consideration. “From what I’ve heard, their journey across Faeortalam gave him plenty of opportunity to prove that he’s not afraid of a little grime.”
“Do you think he’ll be all right?” Calliea asked. She felt a sharp, unexpected flash of empathy for Finnead.
“No,” said Liam quietly. “He’ll be changed forever. What the Lethe Stone did can’t be undone.”
“But he knew what was going to happen.”
“As did Vell. We talked about it, all of us.” He smiled fondly, his eyes faraway. “Gray gave Finn a piece of her mind. She told him that he was being a stupid, sentimental fool.”
“She certainly didn’t hold anything back,” murmured Calliea. She raised her eyes to Liam, her thumb tracing the curve of her coiled whip. “Do you agree with her?”
Liam leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. “I think people do a lot of things for love.”
“Love,” said Calliea softly. “He gave up his memories of Andraste. I watched his love fade and disappear.”
Liam was silent for a moment. When he spoke, his words were measured. “A lot of people say that they love someone so much they’d die for them. It’s like they use it as a…a measuring stick.”
“People die all the time for other people that they don’t love,” said Calliea with a shrug. “It’s not such a stretch.”
“I’m not saying it’s a stretch. I’m saying that if it’s so believable for someone to die for the person they love, wouldn’t it also make sense that Finn would give up his love for Andraste in order to restore her? He gave up that portion of himself for her sake.”
“It’s the cruelest irony.” Calliea shook her head. “He thought she was dead for centuries. Then she’s alive, but doesn’t remember him. And to bring her back – really bring her back – he gives up his memories of her, so it’s just reversed.” She sighed.
“In the end, I think he was the only one who could have done it.”
“What about Guinna?” Calliea didn’t like the way her voice twisted on the elfin Unseelie woman’s name.
“She was one of Andraste’s ladies, and maybe that would have sufficed, but no one who’s still alive knew Andraste like Finn.”
“No one who’s still alive,” repeated Calliea.
“In any case,” said Liam, pushing himself to his feet, “what’s done is done. My focus is to help Finn get through it.”
“Tell me if there’s anything I can do,” she replied, and it was an earnest offer. She didn’t count herself as one of Finnead’s close friends, but they’d fought in battle together and he’d always been courteous to her.
“We’re family now,” said Liam. “Tess is my blood sister, yes, but you and Finn, you’re also my brother and sister. This bond will only be cut by death.”
“And gods willing, we’ll have centuries more to get on one another’s nerves like true brothers and sister,” Calliea said lightly.
“Gods willing,” agreed Liam. He fell into step behind her as she descended the stairs from the tower room. The stained glass window that was actually a door swung open on silent hinges at their approach, and she didn’t even have to break stride at the bottom of the stairs.
“Coming to the paddock?” she said as he matched her pace.
“Tess and I have a standing agreement that I’ll check in on Nehalim every few days while she’s gone,” said Liam. “So, if you don’t mind the company for the walk…”
“Would it make a difference if I did?” Calliea arched an eyebrow.
Liam chuckled. “Should I say that it would?”
Calliea didn’t reply but she couldn’t help the smile that curved her mouth. They walked through the twisting passageways of the cathedral. Now, as one of the High Queen’s Three, Calliea felt the shifting of the hallways that she had always suspected. Here in the White City, an ancient power willingly entwined with that of the High Queen. It was almost as if the Vyldretning’s presence had awakened the sleeping city.
They had almost reached the front entrance of the cathedral, but Calliea couldn’t hold in her question anymore. “Do you know whether Vell released the Arrisyn from watching Andraste, or is he still…there?”
Liam gave her a look of mild surprise. “I don’t know. We could have just gone straight there, if you were wondering.”
Calliea swallowed. Part of her wanted nothing more than to let Merrick enfold her in his arms, but another stubborn part of her didn’t want to admit that she needed him. For some reason, she felt an obstinate need to prove her independence – as though she didn’t care one way or another if he’d been in the same room the entire night as Guinna. And a third part knew that her jealousy and worry were ridiculous, but that part was forced into the far reaches of her mind, crowded out by thoughts of what they would have talked about in those long hours and whether Merrick still found Guinna beautiful.
She cleared her throat. “I didn’t want to waste time. I really do need to ensure that Kyrim is settled after yesterday.”
Liam didn’t reply, but his silence wasn’t judgmental. As they neared the front entrance of the cathedral, members of the Vyldgard and the Seelie Court flowed around them. The air felt full of purpose.
“Maeve has her hands full again,” Liam said as they passed the entrance to the healing ward.
“I can’t remember a time when the healers didn’t have their hands full,” replied Calliea. She glanced at the great doors of the cathedral as they passed, but no fantastic scene presented itself to her. It was almost as if the doors were waiting for something to happen, holding their breath as they stood once again at the precipice of war.
As they turned the corner to walk along the side of the cathedral toward the paddocks, Calliea drew in her breath. Lurid black scorch marks scarred the smooth white stone of the great building. Mab’s orbs had only succeeded in carving out pockmarks, scooping away shallow craters rather than wreaking the wholesale destruction the Unseelie Queen had so clearly intended. But even that damage kindled a spark of anger in Calliea’s chest.
“How dare she?” she whispered, gazing up at the scars on the beautiful, ancient structure. This great building had survived the occupation of Malravenar, only to be attacked by the Unseelie Queen.
“Mab is desperate,” Liam replied, standing there with her and tipping his head back to look up the wall. “Desperation leads people to do terrible things.”
“Desperation or madness?” Calliea asked bitterly, wrenching her gaze away and turning on her heel. Grooming her beautiful faehal would take her mind off this mess: Mab’s orb, and Gray’s death, and Merrick’s feelings for that Unseelie woman.
“Both,” agreed Liam.
The Valkyrie paddock hadn’t taken any damage during the attack, but all the same there were a handful of Valkyrie working on a fence. Calliea stopped and surveyed their work, her hands at her hips.
“Laedrek.” Trillian straightened and nodded to Calliea. Then she nodded to Liam. “Seer.” She was
n’t wearing her eye patch, and her milky white eye looked like a pearl set into the socket.
“What is it that you’re building?” Calliea asked without preamble. Her eyes traced the extent of the fencing. It created a large circle, almost like a practice ring.
“A riding ring for acrobatics,” said Trillian.
“For Valkyrie or for wingless steeds?”
“Both,” the one-eyed Valkyrie replied easily. “We thought it might be an advantage for the riders to train with us, and for us to train with them.”
“You might have told me of this idea before building it,” said Calliea. Was she unapproachable to her Valkyrie? Did they not trust her to contemplate their ideas and their input?
“Most of the cleanup from the attack is complete,” said Trillian, “and there was an excess of idle hands. I thought we might turn them to productive tasks.”
“When you put it like that, it makes it exceedingly difficult for me to disagree,” said Calliea.
Trillian grinned. “I do have impeccable logic occasionally, Commander.” Her lone eye brightened. “Oh, and I have other news for you.”
“Yes?” Calliea said expectantly.
Trillian motioned for them to follow her toward the paddock. “Better shown than told.”
Liam shrugged in response to Calliea’s questioning glance. They both followed Trillian.
Kyrim whinnied in greeting and cantered gracefully over to the fence, thrusting his head toward Calliea. She grinned and slipped him the apple she’d been carrying in her belt pouch since the last evening meal. As he munched happily away at the apple, she stroked his velvety nose and said to Trillian, “What’s this news that’s better shown than told?”
Trillian motioned to one of the faehal with her chin. “Take a look at Selaph.”
Calliea picked out Niamh’s mount, the pretty mare Selaph, in a corner of the paddock. She frowned. “I don’t see anything wrong, except that she’s a bit fat.” She shrugged. “Now that Niamh can fly again, she should probably take her up a bit more often.”