by Jocelyn Fox
Calliea found herself wishing unkindly that it had been another Valkyrie who’d seen the beautiful Unseelie woman running from Mab’s hunting hounds. At least then she wouldn’t feel so complicit in bringing her back into Merrick’s life. She ignored Guinna and asked Sayre, “How is Andraste?”
“Slowly making progress,” said Sayre, “though I am no healer.”
“It isn’t wounds of the body that trouble her, I think,” said Calliea.
“How is Finnead?” asked Guinna, forcing Calliea to acknowledge her.
“He will be fine,” she answered shortly.
Guinna sighed. “He has always been so noble. This sacrifice may well be his greatest.”
“We have all made sacrifices,” Calliea said, her voice a bit harsher than she intended as she thought of Gray.
“I do not doubt it,” Guinna replied softly.
Calliea bristled. This woman was everything she was not, it seemed: patient and kind and gentle, small and beautiful and perfectly suited to polite conversation, yet able to pick up a blade when necessity dictated. She clenched her jaw, reminding herself once again that she had rescued Guinna. She had brought her here.
Merrick stood and cleared his throat. He placed a mug on the table next to the omnipresent pot of khal. “There is to be a council here shortly, isn’t there?”
“Yes.” Calliea found that she didn’t want to look at him. She felt slightly sick. “But it appears as though the Vyldretning wished you to stay, so you will probably stay on through the council.”
Merrick colored and looked down at his now-empty hands. He picked up his empty mug again. “Well, technically speaking, the High Queen said I could leave this morning, but…” He trailed off and looked at Guinna. Calliea gritted her teeth.
“I asked him to stay,” said Guinna in her mellifluous voice. “It has not been easy for me, this sudden transition from my own Court to here.”
“And I am sure he was more than willing to offer comfort,” Calliea said icily.
Merrick looked stricken, Guinna at least had the grace to blush, and Sayre muttered something about seeing to the Princess, disappearing hurriedly from the room.
“I’ll go now,” said Merrick, his words strangled.
“That might be best,” she replied flatly, standing completely still save for the movement of her right thumb as she counted the coils of her whip: one-two-three-four, and then in reverse. The small motion calmed her, let her keep the serene veneer as Merrick put his mug down on the table and looked at her beseechingly, opening his mouth and then closing it without saying a word. He gave her a wide berth as he exited the chamber, heading for the tapestry with a defeated air.
Calliea turned to the table and poured herself a mug of khal. Her hand shook but she managed not to spill. She felt Liam approaching and told herself that she could just ignore Guinna until he arrived. But then the Unseelie woman spoke, and it would have been childish to pretend she couldn’t hear her.
“Calliea,” said Guinna, rising from her chair by the fireplace. “I only wish to assure you that there is nothing between Merrick and I.”
“Don’t,” Calliea grated out, clutching her mug of khal so hard that her knuckles hurt.
Guinna blinked. “Don’t…?”
“Don’t lie to me,” Calliea said in a low, intense voice. “I saved your life. You owe me that at least.”
Guinna colored delicately again, opening her perfect rosebud lips and then closing them again. Calliea resisted the sudden irrational urge to throw her mug at her.
“We knew each other,” started Guinna, sounding unsure. “And he said that – ”
She’d knocked the perfect Unseelie woman off balance, but the idea of Merrick discussing their relationship with Guinna tightened the knot in her stomach. “I don’t want to hear it,” Calliea cut her off firmly. “What is between Merrick and I is between us alone, and I have no desire to discuss it with you.”
Guinna considered her answer and raised her chin. “Then perhaps I should apply that standard to my own interactions with him.”
Oh, this woman was asking for it. Calliea drew herself up to her full height. Guinna barely came up to her shoulder but the brazen Unseelie woman didn’t look intimidated. “You should leave.”
Guinna held her gaze challengingly for a long moment and then drew her shoulders back, walking toward the tapestry on the wall that marked the exit to the Queen’s chambers. Calliea followed her with her eyes, wishing that it wasn’t beneath her dignity to do anything other than glare.
After the other woman had exited, she let out the breath she hadn’t known she was holding and took a large swig of khal, not caring that the liquid was just this side of too hot and burned her throat as she swallowed.
“You all right?” said Liam as he emerged into the chamber. “I get the feeling that there’s a bit of trouble in paradise.”
“Nothing important enough to trouble you,” Calliea said.
Liam raised his eyebrows as he poured his own cup of khal. “I have a sister. I know what that means.”
Calliea sighed and shook her head. “Sorry. I’m still getting used to the idea of you as a brother.”
He grinned. “Nothing to apologize for. It’s a lot of changes.” His sharp green eyes took in the two chairs at the fire and combined that with Guinna’s hasty exit, since he’d most likely seen her in the passageway. “I’m not going to tell you not to worry, because that doesn’t really make a difference when people say that.”
“Thanks,” she replied with a smile that felt unnatural.
“Also, you don’t have to smile to be polite.” Liam shrugged as he lifted his mug to his mouth. “No need.”
“It’s…frustrating,” Calliea said, groping for the right words. She decided on honesty. If Liam wanted her to treat him like her brother, she would. She’d never had a brother before, but she’d learn as she went. “I want to claw her eyes out. That is not a dignified emotion for the Valkyrie Commander and one of the High Queen’s Three.” She swallowed. “I should be above jealousy…shouldn’t I?”
“No,” said Liam easily, shaking his head. “You’re a woman. You’re a real person.”
“As opposed to a fake person?” she said drily.
“As opposed to a person who doesn’t feel anything,” he said. “Just because we’re the High Queen’s Three doesn’t mean we’re not people anymore. If anything, it means we need to acknowledge our emotions even more, because we need to help Vell with hers.”
“That makes a certain kind of sense,” said Calliea slowly. It didn’t make her feel any better about the situation, but it made her feel less guilt about the emotions themselves. “Speaking of emotions…how’s Finnead?”
“He’ll be here in a moment and you can ask him yourself.”
She looked at him in alarm.
“You Sidhe and your courteous repression,” he sighed. “Not talking about it doesn’t make it disappear.”
“I’m aware of that,” said Calliea. “But there’s also something to be said for delicacy.”
“Nothing delicate about this situation,” said Liam, shaking his head. “You felt how powerful the Lethe Stone was. Vell tried to be as gentle as she could, that’s for sure, but he still had a huge chunk of memories ripped out of his head.”
“Does he know?”
“There’s a huge hole in the timeline in his head,” said Liam. “I’m pretty sure he knows.”
“Suddenly my problems seem very petty,” Calliea said, taking another big swallow of khal.
“You’ve also perfected the guilt trip,” said Liam. “It’s perfectly fine not to measure your troubles by the tragedies of others. There’s always going to be someone worse off than you are.”
“Are you sure that you’re mortal and not four hundred years old?” said Calliea, crossing her arms over her chest.
Liam tapped his head and grinned. “Well, I do have a fragment of an ancient goddess rattling around up here. Most of the time she’s prett
y quiet, but sometimes she makes herself known.”
“Did she have anything to say about Vell using the Lethe Stone?”
“Nope. Radio silence.”
Calliea frowned. “What’s a radio?”
“Mortal communication device. We don’t have all these invisible bonds and whatnot.”
“Well, I know that,” she muttered.
The tapestry shimmered and Finnead emerged into the room. Calliea looked him over with a critical eye and found to her surprise that he looked less haggard than he had in a long while – ever since Andraste’s rescue, in fact.
“Finn,” said Liam in greeting.
“Liam,” replied Finnead with a nod. His sapphire-blue eyes met Calliea’s gaze. “Calliea.”
“Finnead.” She nodded. If someone would have told her barely a year ago that she’d be standing here as one of the new High Queen’s Three, exchanging greetings with Knight Finnead, the former Vaelanbrigh of the Unseelie Court, she would have scoffed at them.
“I don’t think I properly expressed my welcome to you as our new sister,” Finnead continued, moving gracefully to join Liam at the table, though he didn’t show any interest in the khal.
“I appreciate your welcome,” Calliea said honestly. “If I’d come to be your sister by any other means than my cousin’s death, I would be much more joyful about it.”
“She died as she lived,” said Finnead. “A true warrior, an example to us all.”
Calliea swallowed hard. “That is true indeed.”
“The funeral pyres of the other fallen will be tonight,” said Liam.
“We’ll have to ensure that Calliea is properly outfitted,” said Finnead with a nod.
“Part of me thinks that you’re referring to some arcane initiation ritual,” she said suspiciously.
“Perhaps we are,” replied Finnead, raising his eyebrows.
Calliea chuckled but found herself looking at Finnead with consideration.
“If you want to ask, go ahead,” he said.
“I just expected you to be…different,” she confessed. “After the Lethe Stone.”
“I am.” He nodded and ran one hand through his raven’s-wing hair. “But the strange thing is that though I know I lost some of my memories, I feel…lighter. I feel as though something that was tearing me apart was removed.”
“That would be your guilt,” said Liam.
Calliea stared at the two of them. She hadn’t expected such blunt conversation about the ritual that had restored the Princess.
Finnead shrugged. “I suppose so. I don’t remember what it was that I was supposed to feel guilty about.”
Liam stretched in his chair. “You felt guilty because centuries ago, you were escorting Andraste and you were both captured by forces loyal to Malravenar. You thought she was dead and you escaped.”
“And I made my way back to the Court, only to find centuries later that she was actually alive,” finished Finnead in the tone of a student reciting a lesson. “I know. You’ve told me as much. But as I said, to talk of it is one thing and to remember it is another.”
“You don’t remember Andraste at all?” Calliea ventured with hesitant fascination. She’d never spoken to anyone who had given up memories to a Lethe Stone.
“Some vague recollections from Court dinners when I was just a squire,” replied Finnead. “But that’s really all I know of her, just the distant respect that comes with one’s monarchs. I do remember one of her ladies, though…Rye, her name was.”
“We can go over the journal anytime you’d like,” said Liam.
“Journal?” Calliea looked between the two of them.
“Once we realized that Finn would be the best candidate to restore Andraste, he and I started recording all his memories about Andraste before they were taken,” Liam explained. “It’s a very interesting love story, actually.”
“But that’s all it would be to me now,” Finnead said. “A story.” He shrugged.
“Isn’t it…disorienting?” asked Calliea. Part of her was glad that the weight seemed to have lifted from Finnead’s shoulders, but part of her wondered whether it was too great a price to pay.
“It was at first,” he admitted, “but the mind is a wondrous thing. I don’t feel the loss anymore unless I go looking for it. It’s almost like a scar. It fades.”
“And you’re feeling better?” she ventured. “Liam said you had something called the flu.”
Liam chuckled.
“Isn’t that the right name?” she demanded. “Did I mispronounce it?”
“No, you got it right,” he said, holding up a hand against her indignant question.
“I’m feeling much improved, thank you,” Finnead replied. “It may be another day or so until I’m back at the practice yards, but they were destroyed anyway, so…” He shrugged, a glimmer of humor flashing through his eyes. Then he glanced at Liam. “You said Tess is in the mortal world again?”
“Indeed, she is,” said Liam, putting his feet up on the table.
“I’d like to speak with her when she returns,” said Finnead with a nod, almost to himself.
Calliea frowned and caught Liam’s eye. Had the loss of the memories of Andraste changed other things within Finnead’s head? Tess had told her enough on the journey across the Deadlands for her to understand that there had once been something of a romance between the Bearer and the Unseelie Queen’s former Vaelanbrigh. Liam shook his head minutely as though to tell her that it wasn’t something needing their intervention…at least not yet.
The Vyldretning swept into the room at her usual brisk pace, her dark hair braided and pinned about her head in its usual style, her clothes plain, as was her wont when she was not on display for the Court as the High Queen. She walked over to the table without preamble, pouring herself a cup of khal and drinking half of it at one go. Calliea swirled the dregs of her own drink in her mug, watching the other two and trying to imitate their relaxed demeanor. The bonds between them brightened and flexed in the presence of the High Queen and she felt sharper, more alert, as though Vell were the sun and they were all flowers blooming in her rays.
“Finnead, it’s good to see you here,” the High Queen said, her golden eyes settling on Finnead’s face appraisingly.
“Far be it from me to refuse a summons from my Queen,” Finnead replied, sketching a bow with his shoulder.
“Well, I’d accept the fact that I used the Lethe Stone on you not even two days ago as a valid excuse,” Vell said, arching an eyebrow. She finished her khal and poured more.
“Tired?” asked Liam, watching her pour.
“The irony of you asking that doesn’t escape me,” Vell said, “seeing as you’re the one who keeps me from getting sleep.”
Calliea choked on her swallow of khal. All right then. That solved one question that still lingered: the High Queen made no pretense of her relationship with Liam when it was just she and her Three. Finnead reached over and pounded her on the back until she recovered her breath.
“Thanks,” she croaked.
“I thought I’d have to try harder than that to scandalize you, Laedrek,” said Vell with a grin.
“Still adjusting,” Calliea managed in her own defense.
Vell chuckled. “Fair enough. Perhaps you shouldn’t drink anything during our conversations for a while.”
“That might be a good idea.” Calliea set her mug down on the table. She’d finished the khal anyway.
“So. Let us go over the situation as it stands.” Vell nodded to Liam. “What of the reconstruction?”
“We have recovered all the bodies from the rubble at both the training yard and other impact sites throughout the City,” said Liam. “The total number of casualties is nine dead and twelve wounded, three seriously.”
Vell sighed. “I had feared the final count would be much worse.”
“It would have been, if not for the Bearer and the Laedrek,” said Liam.
The High Queen nodded. “I heard about what hap
pened at the practice yards. It seems our Lady Bearer put the Sword to good use.” She turned to Calliea, her golden eyes molten in the light of the fire. “And in case I haven’t made it clear, Calliea, I consider your leadership of the Valkyrie against Mab’s weapons the only thing that saved us from a toll much worse than what we paid.”
“I only wish I could have been faster in disarming those trebuchets,” said Calliea.
“You disarmed Mab of her greatest weapon of all when you liberated her sister,” said Vell. “Speaking of Andraste...” She looked at Liam again.
“I’ll fetch Sayre for a report,” he said, pushing away from the table.
“I spoke to the patrols returning from their routes about the City,” said Finnead as they waited for Liam to return with the Unseelie Guard. “We thought Mab was gathering her people to leave for Darkhill. But with Andraste gone, it looks as though she is massing her forces for an all-out attack.”
“Are any of her forces likely to turn against her?” asked Vell. The golden circlet gleamed on her brow as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Mab most likely is using any bonds of love or affection to hold her forces in place,” said Finnead. “She tightened her hold on her whole Court in the days after the Dark Keep fell, and now there are probably only a handful left with the strength to resist her at all.”
“So she would use brothers against brothers, or lovers against one another,” said Calliea, curling her lip in disgust. “Like she used Molly and Ramel against one another.”
“If the Bearer returns from Doendhtalam before Mab attacks, perhaps she’ll bring Ramel with her,” said Vell.
“He is one of her Three,” said Finnead with a trace of sadness.
“Unless he came so close to death that she released him,” Calliea pointed out.
Finnead shook his head. “We would have heard if she had baptized a new Vaelanbrigh.” He smiled crookedly. “It seems to be a position that is difficult to keep filled in the Unseelie Court.”
“Well, I’m glad the Lethe Stone didn’t take your humor,” said Vell.
Liam emerged from the other room with Sayre following close on his heels. The young Unseelie looked nervous as he stopped in front of the table. He bowed deeply to Vell and then kept his gaze at her feet with a practiced air that made Calliea think this was how the Unseelie were taught to approach their Queen.