I watched her sitting on the bed next to my suitcase, the beginning of my trip home just an hour or so away.
"I don't know," she said again, strands of blonde falling into her eyes as she wiped away more tears.
"I mean," she continued, "I don't even know him and I don't think I could live here on an island or even in Athens and I don't think he'd be happy in New York, so, I don't know, maybe we could settle in Rome or maybe Paris or something, but it's all just so ..."
"Stop, stop, stop," I said, sitting next to her, her hand immediately in mind.
"You don't need to jump that far ahead, Deni," I then said. "Forget all that and focus on right here, right now. What does your heart say?"
"But it's more than ..."
"No," I said, interrupting her. "What does your heart say?"
She took a deep breath. A very deep breath, her chin trembling with more tears.
"I'm in love," she finally said.
I waited, silent, allowing her to speak.
"And I'm scared," she continued. "I don't even know him."
"Okay, what do you know?"
"He's younger than me, he's educated, but still really rough around the edges, he's really good at construction, he has tattoos, he really loves his mother, he, oh, I don't know, he's very smart and isn't afraid of a good argument and he has a lot of energy and a lot of very simple ambition, you know, not wanting a lot, but still, he has goals, and ... "
"No, no, no," I said with a small smile. "Deni, stop. Take a breath.
"What does your heart know?"
She paused, looking toward the window as she gathered her thoughts.
My Deni, in love. With Damen.
I did not see this coming.
What with the wedding drama and the sudden passing of Nona and the drama with Caugina and then the surprise wedding, well, it was easy to miss.
She spoke, her voice sounding weak and scared.
I gripped her hand tighter.
"I know that when I see him I can't speak. The words, they just disappear and everything I say sounds stupid and clumsy.
"I know when he kisses me my legs melt. Like, my knees buckle or something. His lips just do something to me, something I've never felt before.
"I know when we make love ..."
She stopped, suddenly embarrassed.
A squeeze of her hand let her know it was okay. She was safe with me, her secrets my secrets. No judgment here. Only love.
She continued.
"I know when we make love, it is unlike anything I've ever experienced. It's beyond what it's ever been. It's ... well, it's almost indescribable. I cry. He cries. I feel so free, so satisfied. So loved and adored.
"Do you know he finds my body beautiful?" she suddenly asked, turning to me.
I nodded.
"Your body is beautiful, Deni. And so are you. You're gorgeous."
"But with him, I really feel it, Ronan. They aren't just words, just empty compliments. With him I actually feel beautiful and desired and sexy."
She paused again.
"Listen," she then said, "I know that I really don't know this man, that I have so, so much to learn about him, about us, but I know that I find myself hoping for a long time with him. Maybe a lifetime."
A long pause.
"You're in love," I said.
"Shit," she quickly said.
We laughed.
"So, now what?" I asked, knowing what the answer would be.
"I'm staying here," she said, her voice small.
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Yeah," I said. "Okay. It makes sense."
"I guess it does," she added. "The divorce is moving full steam ahead, but I don't need to be in New York non-stop for that to happen. And there really isn't anything, other than you, for me back there.
"I could hang out in Greece a little bit longer and see where this goes."
"Yes," I agreed. "That makes perfect sense."
"I just feel guilty leaving you high and dry," she then said, the tears spilling down her cheeks again.
I gathered her in a hug.
"Don't," I said, my lips near her ear. "I'm going back to work, Mikalo is setting himself up with the American branch of his business, the house is being renovated which is going to take forever, I think. There's a lot happening. This is a good time for you to go ahead and take some Deni Time, you know?"
A quick nod from her.
"But still ..." she said.
"None of this means I won't miss you terribly, you know," I said.
"And I'm going to miss you so very much," she agreed.
"But, no," I quickly said, swallowing back my own tears and failing miserably, "it makes perfect sense. It really does."
She sat quietly, my friend, unsure, afraid, desperately in love.
"Deni, listen," I said, her hand once again in mine, "I'll be fine. It's more important that you be happy. That you take this step, follow this through, and see where it goes. I don't want you to wonder 'what if?' for the rest of your life.
"This is a great thing," I then said, assuring her. "Embrace it, run with it, work with it, see where it all goes."
Her hand squeezed mine, her eyes watching me, her cheeks stained with tears.
"Don't be afraid," I said, my eyes on hers, a grin on my lips.
"Your story's just beginning."
THE END
COMING FALL 2013
THE DENI DOLLISANDRO SERIES:
GOLDIN'S GOODBYE
ALSO BY
SYNDRA K. SHAW
MIKALO'S GRACE
MIKALO'S FLAME
Mikalo's Fate (The Mikalo Chronicles) Page 15