My phone went off beside me and I glanced at the screen. No name, just a number flashed across. I opened the text message and nearly choked.
It’s Bryant. Adam gave me your number, I hope that’s okay. I wanted to see if you would go to lunch with me tomorrow to catch up.
I took a calming breath before getting up to empty the rest of the bottle into the sink.
No. It wasn’t okay. Of course, it wasn’t okay. I was going to lecture Cricket when she got home. She had to have warned Adam about my lack of interest in Bryant, or anyone with a penis for that matter. Wait, am I lesbian? No, definitely not a lesbian. God that sounded like such a dirty word. Lesbians should be called angels of dating or some shit. Because they probably rock at it. Guys are stupid. They don’t consider your feelings and do stupid things in a relationship. Girls don’t. I bet lesbians have it made. They probably never argue. Wait, am I being judgmental? Can a compliment be judgmental? What did I know about lesbians? I had never had a friend who was. I should find a lesbian friend. What if she hits on me? What if I like it? Oh, dear God, I’m drunk. I’m beyond drunk.
I looked down at my phone again and the words seemed to blur together.
Yep, I am white trash wasted. What is with that saying anyway? Do they say white trash because you throw caution to the wind and start acting like someone who has never even picked up a book? Now, THAT’S judgmental.
Before I could stop myself and against my better judgment, I answered Bryant’s text.
Did you know that male alligators spend their entire lives with an erection and it’s like a rubber band?
I read the text over again and started laughing.
What in the actual fuck? What was I doing? I mean, was I okay with Bryant knowing how insanely awkward I was? Wait, have I always spouted off random sex facts about animals? No. I don’t think so.
B: Is that a no?
His response made me laugh so hard that I ended up falling onto the couch.
Leopard slugs mate on slime and if their sexual organs get stuck, the female chomps off the male’s penis. It’s called apophallation.
I didn’t give him time to respond before sending another.
Kangaroos have three vaginas-two to carry the sperm from the two-pronged penis of their mate to the uterus and one to give birth.
I closed my eyes and the room started spinning. Why was I sending him these texts? Deep down, I knew why. To avoid answering his question and admitting that yes, I did want to talk to him. I wanted to tell him about Haylie. For no other reason than for him to know.
He had tried last week reminiscing about her. I had told him I was busy and that shut him up almost too quick. I could tell when he had asked how she was that he had no clue what had happened.
B: That’s interesting. I had no idea.
Before I could send another one, Cricket came barging through the door. Saving me from myself. Again. Several bags hung in her arms, dropping one by one to the floor when her eyes landed on me. They shifted from my phone and back to me several times.
I pressed my lips together and averted my eyes from her.
“What are you doing? And why does it smell like smoke in here?” She stepped over her luggage and shut the door to the balcony before parking herself onto the coffee table in front of me. “Have you been drinking?”
I avoided her stare. A simple ‘yes’ escaped from my lips.
She grabbed my phone and read through the texts I’d been sending. She started laughing. “What is this?”
I shrugged.
“Are you deliberately trying to push him away?”
Another shrug of my shoulders.
Now her voice connected to seriousness. “Amby, what is going on?”
A simple question needing only a few words response. Instead, I broke down into tears, letting the motions shake my body.
She put my phone down and covered me in a hug. “Talk to me.”
I shook out of the confinements of her hug. “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not fine. What can I do?”
This brought my eyes to hers. Nothing. Unless she could bring Haylie back, she couldn’t do anything. I didn’t tell her that though. “I don’t know. I want to be fine. I want to get over it but I can’t. I can’t live my life when she no longer has hers. It’s not fair.” The tears spilled out of me like an unleashed waterfall.
She brought her hands to rest on the sides of my arms and jolted me once. “You’re hurting. I get that. Haylie was your world and it’s hard to live when your world isn’t with you anymore. It doesn’t mean you have to give up your entire life. What if you are someone else’s world?”
The tears rested on my lower lashes, blurring my vision. “I was someone else’s world. Two people’s worlds. One died and the other decided I wasn’t enough anymore.”
She picked up my phone again and started typing.
I tried to take it from her but she stood up and continued typing. “What are you doing?” I asked in a firm tone.
When she finished, she handed back my phone and sat down in front of me again, her expression genuine. Worry etched within her eyes. “Amby, you’re hollow. A huge part of you is missing. I can see you. Okay? I see you. This isn’t who you are. You’re stronger than this. It’s time to pick up the pieces and become whole again. Also, you need to become another person’s world.” Without another word she shut the front door and gathered her bags, taking them to her room.
I unlocked the screen on my phone and her message back to Bryant gutted me.
I’ll go to lunch with you.
Did she truly believe Bryant was going to deliver my missing pieces? That he could unbreak me?
Chapter 6
Meant To Be
Bryant
I smiled.
I was still smiling.
The last text message I got back from Amberly had me smiling like a ten-year-old boy who’d just gotten his crush to say yes to being his girlfriend. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt this way. Must have been when I was ten.
The other text messages had me confused. Did she want to talk about sex and she inadvertently brought it up by popping off random facts about animals? Either way, it didn’t matter. I was taking her to lunch today. I wasn’t sure what I was doing or how this was going to go. I hadn’t been looking for anything. But, this was Amberly. There had to be a reason she appeared back into my life after so long.
I walked into Skrillex, ready for lunch even before I started.
“Hey man, I got your coveralls in. Let’s go to the office.” Adam gave me a knowing smile. “I heard. Lunch with Amber huh?”
“Amberly.” I corrected. I could tell that Adam got on her nerves with his refusal to use her full name when referring to her.
“What? Oh, yeah. I just do that to fuck with her. She’s a firecracker.” Adam chuckled and we walked into the front, heading to his office.
I got a quick look at Amberly before I ducked behind his office door. Her cheeks lit up with a soft pink hue when she noticed me. She turned her head and looked down, her straight hair falling like a drape to hide her embarrassment. If I had ever thought she couldn't be more beautiful, I lied. Seeing her blush caused the beat of my heart to accelerate.
Adam threw me a few pairs of coveralls and I swung them over my shoulder. He went to where the girls were and started firing off this week’s schedule, as well as mentioning a car show next week.
“Amber, I want you to take Bryant with you to the car show.”
Amberly’s face changed from pure embarrassment to shock. “What? Cricket and I always go to those.”
Adam lifted an eyebrow and stuck the pen he’d been using to write with behind his ear. “Yeah, well, I’m going to be using Bryant as a new addition to the sales department. He’s going to be explaining the different services we provide.”
Amberly dared a quick look at me before agreeing with Adam. I smiled at her and she half smiled back at me. Adam clapped me on my shoulder a
nd left.
“Guess you’re going to be Adam’s wing man.” Cricket took a quick sip from a water bottle. “I think it’s a good thing. Amberly can pitch a sale that’ll have you wondering if you should buy the product even if you don’t want it or need it. She can show you exactly what to do.”
“What you’re saying is, Amberly’s going to run this shop one day?”
Cricket shook her head, her dark waves of hair bouncing with her movements. Her hair was short, cut right above her shoulders and she wore a red, white, and black plaid shirt over her Skrillex t-shirt. The first thing I noticed about Cricket was a beauty mark, positioned right above the left side of her lips. “Nah, she’s only here until she graduates from college.”
I turned to Amberly who was remaining oblivious to the discussion about her. “College?” I questioned, hoping to get her attention.
She looked up and gave me a light smile. A smile that kick started my heart like it hadn’t been able to beat with full force until then. “Yeah.”
Her voice was soft and innocent, a bit quiet as well. She was reserved and as hard as she was trying to shut me out, it made me want to break down whatever barriers she was trying to frame around her body. “What’s your major?”
“Kinesiology. For now.”
Interesting. “For now?” I asked, trying to keep her talking. I dared say it was the most she'd ever spoke to me. I realized it was a good thing she'd been reluctant to talk to me before because with each word she spoke, she stole another piece of my heart.
“Until I figure out whether or not I want to be a nurse or a physician’s assistant.” Her eyes sparked with passion while she was talking, extinguishing as soon as the last word had escaped her mouth.
I nudged my hands into the front pockets of my jeans, jingling a few pieces of change with my fingertips. “Maybe you can tell me about it over lunch?”
She pressed her lips into a hard line and elevated her eyebrows. “Yeah. Sure.”
With nothing more to say, I slapped a hand down on the counter top in front of her and let her know I’d see her later. Cricket gave me a sidelong glance overflowing with pity.
“If you don’t want to go with me, you don’t have to.”
The shop had emptied out for lunch. Adam and Cricket had taken off already, and I was standing in front of Amberly as she sifted through paperwork.
“Cricket left and I need to eat.”
I nodded my head, digging out the keys to my truck. “I can pick you up something.”
She stopped what she was doing and looked at me. Really looked at me. I could see the storm raging beneath the blue-green color in her eyes. Something was off.
“Is it Eric?”
She closed her eyes for a split second and inhaled sharply. “No. It’s not Eric. It’s never about Eric.”
Her confession. It shattered me. Delighted me. Confused me. I didn’t know what to say. I had a dozen questions waiting to be asked. “Then what is it?” Okay, not the question I was going for.
She hauled her jacket off of the back of her chair and slide her purse up her arm. “Let’s go.”
I didn’t object when she started locking the front door. She followed me into the back of the shop and out the door. When we got to my truck, I opened the passenger side door, receiving a look of curiosity from her. She climbed up and buckled her belt.
"I promise I'm not the dickhead you think I am."
She tilted her head, following it with a nod as though she were agreeing with me.
A song by Cole Swindell detonated from the speakers after I started the truck. I fumbled with the buttons, turning the volume down. “Sorry.” I mumbled.
"I don't think you're a dickhead. I never did." She didn't bother looking at me during the deliverance of the words.
I couldn't control it. I was growing nervous or anxious. Something. Being that close to her was making moving any part of me difficult; we weren't even touching. "It's just, I know what Cricket told you. About me not wanting anything serious."
She turned her head slightly but didn't let her eyes meet my own.
When I realized she wasn't going to say anything more, I put the truck in drive and made my way to the barbeque restaurant down the road. I had asked Cricket beforehand where I should take Amberly. I was a cheater. Amberly hadn't showed much interest in going with me in the first place so I figured the less pressure, the more inclined she would be to joining me. Besides, the restaurant was just a few blocks over. There was no room for further conversation, as that could wait until we ordered our food.
When I parked and turned off the ignition to my truck, Amberly started to open her door. “Wait.” I jumped from my seat and ran to her side, opening the door for her.
“This isn’t a date.” She stated before sliding off the seat until her toes touched the pavement below her.
“Not a date.” I confirmed.
She zipped up her jacket and we walked, side by side, into the restaurant. I felt compelled to wrap my hand around hers but I held back, not ready for what her reaction would be.
A hostess seated us into a booth, back by the restrooms. At least it wouldn’t be easy for her to run. Even if she did, it wasn’t like I would force her to change her mind.
“What can I get you to drink?” The hostess laid down two menus. Amberly shoved hers away.
“Water.” She said before turning her head to look out the window.
“Dr. Pepper.”
The hostess, with dark brown hair and oval-shaped, red glasses smiled at me. “Great. Your waitress today is Jenna. I’ll get your drinks and she will be by to take your order.”
I cleared my throat, feeling the ascent of nervousness. Amberly shifted in her seat and turned to me.
“I’m sorry about last night. I was drunk and I have no idea why I was sending you sex facts about animals. I don’t even know how I knew any of that. I Googled all of them this morning and I was right about them.” She started rambling, running out of breath a few times. She fidgeted with her hands.
I laid a hand over the both of hers, noticing how she quieted against my touch. “Amberly, it’s fine. You don’t have to explain.”
Her eyes fell to our hands and she swallowed before bringing her eyes back up to mine. “Yes, I do. I wasn’t going to say yes to lunch today. I didn’t want to, and I was trying to avoid answering you.”
I sighed and leaned back, my hand dragging across hers and back onto the table before I let it rest in my lap.
She withdrew her hands from the table and turned her head to face the window again. “I’m socially awkward. Like really socially awkward.” She took a deep breath and started again. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out.” Her eyes clashed with mine.
I peered up at her, my chin touching my chest. I opened my mouth to speak before our waitress came to take our orders.
When she disappeared, Amberly spoke again. “It’s just, I wanted to go to lunch with you, but I didn’t want to have the conversation I’m about to have with you.”
I held up my hand, taking a gulp from the Dr. Pepper I ordered. “You don’t have to talk about him.”
She shook her head, confusion settling over her features. “Him?”
“Eric. You don’t have to tell me what happened.”
She started picking at the nail polish that was peeling off of her nails. “I wasn’t going to. I wanted to talk to you about Haylie.”
I hoped she wasn’t going to ask me to sign Haylie up for the team again, considering I no longer had one. Coaching the girls had become too much during the divorce. I gave it up, relinquishing all responsibility to another parent of one of the girls. I stayed away from the practices when they fell on Mac’s time with Delia. Then she had accused me of not giving two shits about my daughter. This season, Delia hadn’t wanted to play. I was thankful for that.
“How is she?” I disrupted my own thoughts, refusing to think of my ex.
Amberly braced herself, sucking in a ragged breath.
Tears developed on the brink of her lashes. “There was a wreck. She went into a coma. I had to take her off life support.”
She recited off a list of the horrible incidents. Factual. She stated them fast enough so her brain hadn't had time to think about how she wanted to deliver the news to me. One by one. I felt as if a boulder dropped down on me as I watched her tears fall, like little soldiers easing their way down her cheeks. She brushed them away, blinking back any others that declared their independence. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her steal the pain from her.
Chapter 7
Different For Girls
Amberly
I cried.
I was still crying.
My emotions were an indecisive hurricane, twirling throughout me and drowning me with their presence. I tried to hold as many tears as I could back. I swiped my hands under my eyes, feeling self-conscious about the fact I’d applied mascara this morning. I reached for the napkins to erase the remnants of the black that was sure to be raining down my face.
Bryant stood up, gathered several napkins in his hands, and sat down next to me. He separated one from the rest and gently eased it up to my face. He stopped just before bringing it to rest beneath my left eye. I nodded and closed them, the napkin delicate against my skin. His motions were slow and deliberate. I felt his fingers graze my skin, goosebumps exploding on the surface. He stopped, only to repeat the same motions under my right eye.
Unbreak Me Page 4