I pulled away and her eyes drifted open. She smiled. It came and stayed as if it were drawn with a sharpie. Her arms wrapped around my neck and mine rested on her hips. Her eyes kept flashing back and forth, and I could see the gleam in them. She felt what I did.
“There’s something you want to say.” I prodded her, hoping she got my answer to her earlier question through my actions.
She shook her head, her blond hair shaking with it. She bit her bottom lip with her eyes still glued to mine. She wanted to say it. She bit her lip to lower the chances of it slipping out.
“Yes, there is.” I felt it, clenching me with its force. If she wouldn’t say it, I would. I had to. I couldn’t waste another moment, afraid of what might happen.
They say when you fall in love, it happens in a matter of seconds. You fall, knowing that you’re falling and then one moment in time you realized that you were done falling and you just…. were. It was a chemical in the brain that nudged you to recognize the feeling. So, knowing I wasn’t crazy and that people fall just as fast, I said it.
“If it starts with an I and ends in a u, I do too.”
She didn’t respond, but I could feel her breathing stop for a split second.
“I love you, Amberly.” I said it more clearly.
The smile she was wearing extended, and she pulled me closer until I was molded against her.
“I love you too.” Her voice cracked when the words flowed from her.
Chapter 23
What’s Mine is Yours
Amberly
Slow but desperate. Deliberate but reckless. Frenzied but poetic.
His step met by my step.
His mouth hovering to the left and to the right as his hands reached up and held my face as though it were a delicate flower whose petals threatened to disperse with imaginary gusts of wind.
He walked backwards, coaxing me to the darkness of his bedroom.
Beyond the door frame, the temperature dropped.
The cold invoked goosebumps that prickled my skin and made my entire body convulse in reaction. It was a combination of the descending temperature as the ceiling fan whirled above us and the way his hands came in contact with my chest.
One of his hands slithered up my shirt until it landed on my breast, covered by a sports bra. Not the most attractive undergarment a woman could be caught in.
He fumbled with the clasp, until it no longer confined my breasts. He lifted my shirt up, depositing it and my bra on the floor. Eager kisses sprinkled across my neck, down my chest, and back up to my lips. The rate of my heart sped up, and I scrambled to catch my breath. It was no use.
“I love you, Amberly.”
My name. Those words. Coming from that mouth made me melt, made me want to give him everything and take nothing in return. Weak. I was weak against this lucid dream.
It had to be a dream.
Something like this couldn’t exist. It wasn’t possible.
He was caressing me but I was left questioning the validity of the moment. These moments that would be over without notice and I’d never experience again. I could repeat the motion but it wouldn’t be the first time like it was now. I could only hope what I was feeling, both physically and emotionally, would never evaporate into thin air as if it never existed.
I tugged his shirt up and he followed through, tossing it in the direction my shirt rested.
Next, his fingers fought with the belt on my jeans, ripping it through the loops. As the last portion was released, it made a whipping sound. I could no longer think. Bryant lifted me up, forcing my legs around his torso, slamming me into the wall.
Effortless.
His left hand clamped around the back of my neck, urging me closer to him. His right hand digging into my side.
Exquisite.
His hips gyrated into mine and I felt everything beneath his jeans.
Exhilarating.
Twirling our bodies away from the wall, he laid me down over his comforter, his body covered mine. He shadowed me against the single light glowing from his bathroom.
He popped the button to my jeans and the music I heard after came from the zipper of them. Every movement was a melody. What’s mine was now his. I was somewhat aware of every action, savoring the heat that was slipping from his body and onto mine. I arched my back as he breathed cool air over my skin, intentional but unpredictable.
He slid my jeans down, and I kicked them the rest of the way off. His hand curved around my thigh and he let his body press deeper into mine.
I cried out from the excruciating pleasure from knowing we were moments from taking care of the obstacles between us. My thighs started shaking and I felt his lips curl into a knowing smile.
Kissed.
He kissed my ear, my neck, my chest, and moved lower to where my scar rested. He awarded every individual stretch mark with his kisses. Kisses that made my toes curl. Kisses that tasted like honey and rain and…...freedom. Freedom from hate. Freedom from worry. Freedom from remorse. That’s what he was giving me in this moment. Freedom from the shackles I wore on a daily basis. The shackles that prevented me from experiencing life the way you were supposed to. Life was waiting for me, waiting for me to drink it up and let it encompass me in its beauty.
He was affecting me. Breathing me in. I lowered my defenses. Letting him consume me. He marked his territory the moment his lips touched mine. He owned me.
Hyper senses. I have no idea where they came from. Why I was feeling them. Every touch. Every breath. Every movement.
I heard it. I felt it. I smelled it. I saw it.
Inches. He was inches from the elastic of my panties. In my mind, I was begging him to dive lower.
“You’re so beautiful.” He breathed his words across my neck and chest. Again, a shiver.
I felt him in my heart. In my mind. In my pores. He confiscated my rational thoughts.
His finger dipped down, gliding to the path I created for him in my mind. He rubbed me, up and down. Back and forth.
I gasped, arching my hips to meet his hand with force. I wanted more. I needed more. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want him to stop.
He hooked his finger into me. Every nerve became transfixed with what he was doing to me. I bucked, knowing I was moments away from ecstasy. But, I wouldn’t let the wave wash over me yet. In and out. He plunged his finger, adding one more after a few beats passed.
The feel of his fingers was erotic and I could do nothing but fight with his jeans to release him. He temporarily moved away to yank his jeans and boxers down so they were resting around his feet. I closed my eyes, wanting to feel everything instead of seeing it. I felt him as he eased his way back over me. So close. He kissed my neck and I lifted my hips up, trying to get the best angle.
“Not yet.” He whispered in my ear and my entire body trembled beneath him.
“Why?” I practically begged.
He didn’t answer, covering my lips with the caressing of his tongue. I met his urgency with my own.
I was close to orgasm. It presented itself but I ignored its demands. I wanted to feel him inside of me before I broke down. I wanted the waves to wash over me while we were connected.
His hands started assisting my panties to their descent. I bit my lip and tilted my chin towards the ceiling. My entire body was on high alert. It was sitting, waiting to feel every sensation. Lively. That’s how I felt.
I was naked now. Nothing to hide my insecurities. Nothing to hide the truth. Nothing to hide my feelings. Nothing to cover me in any way.
I’d never felt safer than in his arms. It was remarkable. Freeing.
He scooted me back so my legs didn’t dangle off the sides. Then, he positioned himself between my thighs. I lifted my legs and parted my thighs. I relaxed, preparing to take him in. He eased in slow with purpose. He was absorbing every sensation, same as me. We both gasped when he reached the end, as far as he could go. On cue, he built a rhythm. Tossing my head to one side, I moaned. My hair covered my f
ace, my body built up sweat particles that made my skin glisten. His forehead was covered in sweat. His eyes didn’t move, like I was the only thing he could see. Like I would be the only thing he would ever see.
We were shattering the definition of love, creating another evolution for it. It had become radical. It had become unique. Our two souls merged into one, the puzzle pieces forming together like no other. They fit and stuck together without any force persuading them to.
Fireworks. Exploding above me. I was close to eruption.
He glided in and out of me with no effort. I was wet for him. I created the moisture before he even touched me. He slammed into me, quickening his pace. My nails drifted to his back where they slashed their mark into their canvas. I had no control for any of it. I thrashed. I leaned my head up, fighting for his lips to kiss me again.
I would never be the same.
He was reconstructing a new design of me.
I had to question if this was the first time I had ever been in love. I had to wonder what I had felt in the past. If not love, what? Lust? Stupidity?
It was answered when he took me home. I closed my eyes again, feeling it everywhere. My orgasm swept over me in currents. Riptide. I spiraled up and then down.
“Bryant!” I didn’t recognize my own voice. It sounded broken, heartfelt. Every emotion was integrated into his name as I screamed it loud.
My legs quivered. I tried to stop it but it was as if they were a separate part of my body that wasn’t controlled by my mind.
Bryant stopped his movements and waited. I delivered kisses to his neck. Soft, intentional, sweet. His sweat rained down, merging with the droplets covering me.
When the final course of my orgasm let up, Bryant started his pace again. He wanted to go slow, I could sense it. But, his body wanted to feel me. Wanted to know if his orgasm could feel any different than before. Was it possible? Could his orgasm be more intense than any other in his past?
“Oh, God.” I heard his voice above me.
I was still scratching him, lifting my pelvis to meet his rhythm. He slammed into me, over and over. He wasn’t done, but his actions now were a precursor to the finale. He hammered me. I couldn’t find it in me to describe it any other way.
Derogatory.
Desire.
Derogatory with desire. A lethal combination. A combination that closed the lid on traditional relationships. I wanted Bryant to do anything and everything to me. I couldn’t be sure it wasn’t the high from my orgasm and didn’t care.
He was filling me with his emotions, to the point I came again without warning. Like we rehearsed it, he had an orgasm at the exact same moment.
“Amberly, fuck. Oh God, Amberly.” He whimpered.
His body fell to mine and I accepted him. I didn’t want to move an inch.
I decided I could live with being permanently attached to him like now.
Images replayed in my mind. I savored Bryant. Every inch of his body was etched like a trophy into my mind. I couldn’t shake seeing him above me. How his face twisted with a deep pleasure as he emptied his effort into me.
Bryant wasn’t the epitome of an athlete star. He didn’t sport a six back. Hair covered his chest and his abdomen. I couldn’t make out a V-shape, mapping out the way to what was beneath his boxers. He wouldn’t be the guy in a sports magazine. Still, his presence was lethal. His body was lethal. He took me with demand and released me with reluctance.
Passionate aggression was the culprit to how our bodies mended together. They no longer belonged to us separately. I sat up, using my elbows to anchor me and watched him get dressed.
Adoration took residence in my thoughts as he slipped on his boots and tossed me my Skrillex shirt.
“Morning, beautiful.”
My ears rang with delight. Beautiful. I’d pay him to say that to me each morning.
Still naked, I released the blanket and dragged the shirt over my head.
“Morning.” I heard myself say back.
He crawled across his bed spread and hovered above me, his eyes studying me like I was a treasure map. He broke out into a satisfied smile and kissed my forehead. His lips didn’t leave their position for several moments. At least, not until his alarm clock started signaling us to get moving.
“I love you.” He whispered before hopping off the bed and leaving me in his empty room. I had no chance to respond.
The last thing I wanted to do was leave. I could stay in bed all day and relive last night. Because I couldn’t stop time, I peeled myself from his bed and started my morning routine.
Bryant appeared in the door frame holding a Styrofoam cup. “Coffee?”
I uncapped my eyeliner as he moved across the room.
“Leave it.” He replaced my pencil with the cup. “You look gorgeous without it.”
My heart hummed as they heard his words, like he was dedicating a love song to me. I watched him as I brought the cup to my lips. He must have asked Cricket some of the things I liked. That made me curious. Did he know my favorite color? Or what songs left me in a pile of tears? How much did Bryant know about me? Did Cricket write a guide about me and give it to him?
“Fine.” I compromised with the eyeliner by coating my lashes with a subtle mascara color. Brown. As close as my blond eyelashes are going to get to being concealed.
I finished getting ready while taking sips of the coffee he had brought to me, and then headed out the door with him.
Chapter 24
For Her
Bryant
Holding hands. No one thinks how one simple gesture could mean so much. I held Amberly’s hand all the way to work. A comforting silence invaded the space in my truck. Last night replayed for me and I couldn’t wait to do it again. The silence was welcomed. Amberly said so much without saying anything. During the entire ride, she sneaked glances my way and her entire face lit up. She had a glow about her that wasn’t there before. I had to wonder if she was becoming the definition of a person healing from their past.
Confidence.
That was what Amberly gave me. I had never had a woman look at me the way Amberly did last night. Amberly proved that the things in life that you think are important, aren’t. That one moment in time can reroute your entire future.
All I could think about the entire drive to work was how she’d felt against me. It had felt perfect. She hadn’t held back. She’d let me love her with no complaint.
Certainty filled me when I’d woken up with her still in my arms. I had thought I couldn’t stomach another relationship. I had felt that I would meet new people and place boundaries. A no-strings-attached scenario. It would have been carried out effortlessly. But, I hadn’t planned on seeing Amberly again. She slaughtered the boundaries I had built to protect my heart. Deep down, I could feel she was different. Her heart wasn’t laced with bitterness. It was the first time I could sense purity in another human being. It was shocking.
When she looked into my eyes, I felt on top of the world. When she rubbed her thumb over my hand as it was interlocked with her hand, I felt promises being made and casted with a hard metal. Promises that couldn’t be broken, no matter what outside force threatened it.
We pulled into the parking lot and I let Amberly out of the truck. She waited for me to shut her door before extending her hand out for me to take. I did but swung her around to face me. She almost stepped on my toes. Giggles erupted out of her. She leaned her head back and her mouth parted open, the lyrics fell out of her and into the clouded sky. Her laugh was a song.
I lead the way into the shop, letting Amberly escape to the front lobby.
“You and Amber?” Adam approached me as soon as Amberly was behind the door and out of ear shot.
I couldn’t help it. I grinned. “Yeah, man.”
Adam clapped me on my back. In any other work place, I would keep our relationship to ourselves, but Adam didn’t mind. He told me the rules ahead of time, though he doubted I would get close enough to Amberly. In the han
dbook, the only relationships that were off limits were ones where someone was cheating and the ones that affected work. It was a test. I had to see how long I could last before walking straight into the lobby and making out with Amberly. After last night, it was going to be difficult to keep my hands off of her.
“I’m surprised she went for you.” Adam joked, flipping through the papers on his clipboard. “Anyhow, we are busy this week. I’ve got a couple trucks coming in today for lifts. Think we can finish them by the time we close?”
I followed him to the cooler, grabbing a flimsy paper cup and filling it with water. “No problem. I could probably have them finished before lunch.”
Adam peered over the clipboard and stuffed the pen behind his ear. “Oh yeah? Should we bet on that?”
I was not a gambler. I gambled on football games but never with money. Even with that fact of myself, I agreed to bet Adam I would have the vehicles finished. I never thought I’d be forfeiting my lunch period to get it done.
I grunted, putting all my force into the bolt. I cursed when it didn’t budge. I dared say it had been stripped by the last person who had put a sorry excuse for a lift kit into it. Adam hadn’t warned me that the truck was already lifted and I’d need to redo it. It looked like the genius who had put the previous kit in had turned to YouTube to get tips. The owner of the dark blue truck had wasted money for the previous kit and was now spending enormous wads of cash to have it done by us. He could’ve saved himself a few hundred to begin with if he had come to us first.
Amberly sat on the ground with her back against the aluminum wall of the building. I tried to force her to go to lunch with Cricket, but she didn’t budge. It made me smile she wanted to be by my side. I hadn’t had that before. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go get you anything?”
“No, I’m fine, baby.” It slipped out before I had a chance to think about it. I stopped what I was doing and gauged her reaction.
Unbreak Me Page 15