“Burt was right. Julie was pregnant when we got married.”
“Yeah, thanks. I know that part.” She pulled the edge of the duvet up and over her as if it were a shield.
“What you don’t know is the baby wasn’t mine.” He’d never said those words out loud before. Cam rubbed the center of his chest, aware that it felt as though a heavy weight had suddenly been lifted off of him.
Her brow furrowed, and she looked at him as if he were speaking a foreign language. “What? Why? Who? Why did you marry her if it wasn’t your baby? Who was the father?”
“That I won’t tell you,” he said firmly with a shake of his head. “It was Julie’s secret to share or not.”
She huffed out an exasperated breath. “You just expect me to take your word for it?”
“I told you. Believe it or not, that’s up to you.” He locked his gaze with hers. “But ask yourself. Why the hell would I lie?”
Beth glared at him. “I’ve got better questions. Why would you leave me and marry her, knowing she was carrying someone else’s baby?”
He felt the scowl on his face and worked to ease it. Hadn’t he just told her that this was all fifteen years gone? Wasn’t it time to get it out there?
“After you and I split up—” When she opened her mouth to argue the point, he held up one hand. “Just let me tell it.”
“Fine.” She folded her arms over her chest, and he saw the defensive gleam in her eyes.
“I found Julie crying the next day.” He closed his eyes briefly, remembering. “Sobbing like her heart was broken, and I guess it was. Anyway, I knew how she felt.”
Beth’s mouth worked as if she were biting back words clamoring to get out.
“She was pregnant and terrified to tell her father. Hell,” he said grimly. “You know Burt. Can you imagine how he’d have taken that news?”
She nodded. “About as well as my father would have.”
“Exactly. She said the baby’s father was pushing her to marry him. He had plans for his own future, and that included getting a rich girl pregnant so he could worm his way into her family and bank accounts. Julie wouldn’t marry him once she found that out. And she couldn’t bear the thought of an abortion. Giving the baby up wasn’t an option, either, because she had nowhere to go until she had the baby. She didn’t know what to do. Asked me to help her. So I did.”
“And getting married was your big solution?”
“Got me out of Royal,” he said bluntly. “Away from you.”
Beth choked out a laugh, slid off the bed and grabbed his white shirt off the floor. Pulling it on, the hem of the thing hit her midthigh, and rather than making her look more covered, Cam thought it only made her sexier.
“You had to get away from me.”
“Yeah.” He got up, too, and didn’t bother to grab clothes. What was the point? “We were over and I couldn’t stay here to watch you hook up with someone new.”
“We weren’t done.”
“As far as I was concerned we were.”
She shook her hair back from her face, and that long, blond tangle made him want to thread his fingers through it. He wanted her again. Always. And that was damned lowering.
“Then Julie lost the baby.”
“Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you divorce, then? The reason for the marriage was over. You could have come back. Come home.”
To me was left unsaid, but it felt like those two words were hanging in the air like a neon sign.
“Because we were married. I promised to stay with her.” He rubbed one hand against the back of his neck. “And I did. But there were…complications with the miscarriage and Julie needed an emergency hysterectomy.”
“Oh, God…”
Nodding, he just looked at her as he finished, “I couldn’t leave her then. And by that time, I knew I couldn’t come back here. You weren’t mine anymore, and I knew you’d never understand what I did anyway…”
“You were right about that,” she said. “I still don’t.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I get that. But you wanted the truth and now you have it. What’re we going to do with it?”
“I don’t know,” Beth admitted hoarsely. She held the edges of his shirt together with a fist in the center of her chest.
Another defensive move?
Everything in him urged him to tumble her back onto the bed, where they could work out whatever problems they had in the one way that had always worked for them. But he didn’t. Because sex—even spectacular sex—couldn’t build the bridge they needed between them.
For years he’d been a husband. He hadn’t cheated. He’d been loyal and had eventually come to love his wife.
It was different than what he had had with Beth, but no less important. Still, now that he’d been with Beth again, he could admit that he was finally letting Julie go. And that bothered him enough that his voice sounded colder than he might have intended.
“I can’t tell you what’s coming. Who the hell could?” Irritation clawed at his throat and fought with the desire already pulsing inside him again. “All I know is I want you. Always have. Always will. What we do with that…”
“Right.” Beth took a deep breath and lifted her chin when she looked at him. “I might never be okay with what you did.”
“I didn’t ask you to be,” he reminded her.
“I can’t trust you,” she said.
That slammed into him, and he didn’t like the feel of it at all. “I didn’t betray you.”
“From your perspective.”
“That’s the only one I’ve got.”
She smiled briefly, and even that slight curve of her mouth sent a charge through Cam’s system that almost stole his breath. How had he forgotten what it was like to touch her? To be inside her? Had he deliberately forgotten so that he could survive the years without her? Whatever the reason, it didn’t matter now. She was here. With him. The long time without her had only made the hunger that much more overpowering.
“Anyway,” Beth continued as if he hadn’t spoken. She walked around the end of the bed and stopped just a foot or so in front of him. A slash of sunlight bathed her in a soft golden glow that made her shine even more than she usually did.
“You said it yourself. That was fifteen years ago.” Her gaze locked with his, and in the shadows of her eyes he read a fire that they’d rekindled only minutes ago. “We’re not kids now, Camden,” she whispered. “And I don’t believe in hearts and flowers and happily-ever-afters anymore.”
She said it so simply that he believed her, and he hated it. Cam had always loved Beth’s ability to believe in good things. To see the best in everything and rush to meet it. Until that last night.
“What I do believe in is what happens when I’m with you,” she said. “And I want to feel it again. Now.”
Cam didn’t see a future for them, either. Hell, maybe a part of him had never believed in it. He was the son of a couple of horse trainers. He was the poor son of ranch hands and she was a damn princess—or as close to it as Royal could get. When that night had happened, he’d been crushed, but a silent, observant voice in his head had whispered, There it is. The end. Just like you thought it would be.
And really? What had changed? She was still out of his reach. But they did have the present and maybe they’d spent enough of it talking. Without another word between them, he hauled her in close, kissed her until he thought he’d die from it and then whipped up the hem of the shirt covering her.
Her hands moved over his bare back, nails scraping, leaving marks as if branding him, and he was okay with it. As long as she was in his arms, he’d figure out the rest. He lifted her off her feet, and she wrapped her legs around his hips as he spun to brace her back against the nearest wall.
They crashed into it, both of them losing their breath but not their wi
ll to join. To be locked together. He looked into her eyes as he pushed himself into her heat, and he saw the flare of wild need electrify her eyes.
She kissed him then and tangled her tongue with his. Her breath slid into his lungs, and he let her fill him as he filled her. His hands at her hips, he held her as he rocked in and out of her body, giving himself up to the fire within. Again and again he claimed her, took her, giving as much as he got. Needing her more with every passing second.
He felt her body tighten. Felt the first stir of completion when it took her and he gave her more, pushed her higher, faster than he had before, and when she tore her mouth from his to shout his name at the ceiling, he felt her body convulse around his.
Cam watched her face as she came and realized he’d never seen anything more beautiful. She was what had been missing from his life. And for this moment at least, she was back. She was his. He was hers. For this one stolen piece of time, there was no past, no future. Only the now.
And when his own body shattered, he felt his soul go with it.
EIGHT
By the following afternoon, Beth was in the middle of the Fire Department Open House and watching the money add up in the giant glass barrel she’d set on the catering table.
They’d already collected enough money through donations and the sale of raffle tickets to fulfill the fire station’s wish list for new equipment. But these last-minute donations, given by the people stopping to pick up sandwiches, ice-cream bars and soda or water, were creating a nice bonus. And it was fun, watching the bills and change in the barrel mount up.
This half of Main Street had been blocked off by Nathan Battles and his deputies, allowing people to stream back and forth across the street without keeping an eye out for cars. The crowd was huge, but then Beth had counted on that. People in Royal could be depended on to show up for a good cause—and keeping their own fire station well equipped served all of them.
Her whole family was there, and she grinned to see Piper out on the dance floor with old Mr. Martin as he led her in a slow, dignified Texas-style waltz. Piper caught her eye and smiled back, just before the country and western band switched it up from slow to fast and new dancers took the stage.
“This is amazing,” Gracie said, and had to lean in close to Beth’s ear just to be heard over the band.
“Turned out great, didn’t it?” Beth looked around at the size of the crowd and then noticed Justin heading toward her.
She didn’t need to deal with this today. Especially after yesterday and those amazing, soul shattering hours with Camden. God. She should be regretting the decision she’d made to sleep with Cam, but how could she? She’d never known anything like what she experienced with him. But how could she trust him? How could she ever hope for them to be more than simply lovers?
In spite of what she’d told him the day before, she did believe in love and marriage and the happily-ever-after that had eluded her so far. Once she’d thought that future would include Cam; now she didn’t see how it could.
Still, that didn’t mean her future would include Justin.
Beth turned and told Gracie, “Gotta get lost in the crowd. Justin’s coming and I just can’t do this today.”
Gracie looked past her and said, “Go. I’ll stall him.”
“Remind me to give you a raise.”
“I will.” Gracie smiled and went to head Justin off.
Beth, meanwhile, slipped into the crowd, ducking behind people, hoping to lose herself. She caught snatches of conversation, eruptions of laughter and squeals from little kids. It was all so normal. Except for what she was up to. Imagine being a grown woman and hiding from a man rather than just telling him to go away.
But, in her defense, Justin didn’t listen.
“What are you doing?”
She looked up and grimaced at her cousin Zeke. “Hiding. Don’t give me away.”
Zeke turned to look in the direction she’d come from and sighed. “Can’t he take a hint?”
“Apparently not.” She looked up at him and pleaded, “Help.”
“Right.” He grabbed her hand, pulled her onto the dance floor behind him and barely slowed down when she squawked.
“This is not hiding, Zeke.”
“No, this is dancing.” He slipped his arm around her, took her right hand in his and smoothly moved them in with the other dancers. “Don’t worry, I won’t let him cut in.”
“You’d better not.” After a second or two, she looked up at him and asked, “Don’t you have someone here you’d rather be dancing with than your cousin?”
“Not at the moment,” he confessed, then grinned at her. “Besides, I dance with my cousin, and I look like a great guy to all the interesting women around here.”
She laughed. “So you’re using me.”
“Absolutely.” He winked and spun her into a turn.
The crowd was a mash of color and movement. The music was loud but catchy, and the local band knew exactly the kind of songs to play to keep their audience dancing. This was Texas, so the music was country, but the beat was so good that even those who preferred rock and roll were kept happy enough.
“You did a great job on this, Beth.”
“Thanks.” She looked to her right. On the other side of the fire station, the gleaming red-and-white trucks sat in the sun while children climbed all over them. “I think we pulled it off.”
“I’ll say. Did you see Bob Hackett when he won that truck?” Zeke laughed. “I thought his eyes were going to bug out of his head.”
“Well, he’s twenty-two and just got a brand-new top-of-the-line truck. That’s enough to make anybody a little bug-eyed.”
“Yeah, he’s posing for pictures with it. I think his girlfriend, Cherry, is getting jealous. He keeps touching that truck like he’s afraid it’s going to disappear.”
Beth knew that feeling. She’d had it yesterday when she couldn’t stop touching Camden—a stroke on his arm, a caress across his chest, smoothing his hair back from his forehead. It was as if she had to keep feeling him to reassure herself that he was really there. With her. After so long without him, having him close again had been almost dreamlike.
“Oh, God.”
“What?” Zeke looked at her, startled. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just…nothing.” She kept dancing and told herself that she was wrong. She couldn’t possibly still be in love with Camden Guthrie. Not after everything that had happened. Not after he’d betrayed her, left town, married Julie Wheeler.
And she realized that, no, she wasn’t still in love with him. This love was new. It was based on who he was now.
Yes, he was basically the same man he’d been back in the day. But now he was self-assured. Comfortable in his own skin and making no apologies for what he wanted. Then there was helping Tony out with the baseball camp. Him hiring Olivia Turner and her crew of mostly female construction experts. He had made a huge donation to the children’s wing.
Hell, even the loyalty he’d shown the woman he’d left Beth for had made an impact on her. He was touching her heart again, and he was making plans for a future here. In Royal.
Of course she was in love with him again. She’d been predisposed for the fall. They shared a past that was taut with both pain and joy, and now that he was home the future dangled out in front of her like a shiny prize she just couldn’t reach.
“Seriously, Beth,” Zeke said. “You okay? You look a little pale.”
“I’m just hot.” Big lie since the wide Texas sky was studded with massive white clouds that kept playing tag across the sun, keeping the heat to a minimum. But her cousin accepted it because he was a good guy.
“Beth—” Gracie rushed across the dance floor. “I tried, but Justin’s on his way over here, so—”
“Thanks for the heads-up.” She looked up at Zeke. “Sorry.”
“Oh, you don’t have—”
Beth laughed as Gracie’s refusal was lost in the dance. Zeke swung her into a country swing dance, and Beth left as Gracie was spinning and laughing up at her partner.
It wasn’t as if Beth could leave the party—she was in charge of it. But she didn’t want to talk to Justin. She stopped to chat with her neighbors, waved to friends as she passed and checked in with the firefighters. Some were giving tours of the station house, and others were riding herd on a dozen kids crawling all over the gleaming red fire truck as well as the EMS truck.
Smiling, Beth told herself to just concentrate on the day. To push all thoughts of Cam and whatever they were to each other to the back of her mind. It wasn’t as if she could solve anything right now anyway. And as if the Fates were laughing, Cam stepped up behind her.
“You look beautiful.”
She turned at the sound of that deep voice and looked up into chocolate eyes that were burning with the same kind of intensity she’d seen the day before. Her entire body snapped with the sizzle suddenly bubbling in her blood.
“Thank you.” She wore a sky blue dress with shoulder straps, a squared neckline and a full skirt. Her favorite heeled sandals completed the outfit and brought her much closer to eye level with the man currently staring at her as if he could gulp her up.
She gave Cam a quick once-over and nearly sighed. His gray Stetson was pulled low over his eyes. He wore a white dress shirt, a black blazer and black jeans with a pair of polished black boots that completed the image of “dangerous cowboy.” And that’s just what he was.
“What’re you doing here?” she asked.
He shrugged and looked out over the crowd. “I live here, Beth. I ought to be part of the town.” He shifted his gaze back to hers. “And I figured it was a good place to run into you.”
When her heart did a ridiculous flip, she told herself to just stop it. Unfortunately, her body wasn’t listening to her head.
“Beth?” Another deep voice, easier to hear this far from the band’s speakers.
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