by Cassie Cross
“I wrote ‘I quit’ on a sticky note and stuck it to his laptop screen. Then I left my work phone and computer there and left. I headed to Midway since I figured he’d look for me at O’Hare and I got out on the first flight available. You have to jump through some hoops to change flight plans on private aircraft, so since his jet wasn’t scheduled to leave until six, I figured I was safe.”
“Yeah,” Becca said sarcastically. “No way could that gazillionaire just hop on a commercial flight to find you.”
Honestly, Abby hadn’t thought of that. “My heart was broken, Beck. I wasn’t exactly thinking through all my options.”
Becca’s eyes softened, and she came over and sat beside Abby on the sofa, then gave her a hug. “Did he even try to call you?”
Abby pulled her personal cell phone out of her pocket and showed Becca the missed calls.
“Two-hundred and seventeen? My god, Abby. Are you going to call him back?”
Am I? Abby wasn’t so sure. She shrugged and looked at her watch.
“It’s four now. What I’m going to do is head down to the office and pick up my stuff before he gets back.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
Abby smiled and sadly shook her head. She knew this was one time Becca was asking just to be her friend, not because she wanted to know who Abby’s mysterious boss was.
“No, it’s alright. I can go alone.” When she stood, Becca grabbed her hand.
“You should let him explain,” she said. “Maybe it’s not what it looks like.”
Abby felt the sting of welling tears behind her eyes. “What happened to the theory that this had an expiration date? You’re on his side now.”
“No, I’m on your side,” Becca said, attempting a sad smile. “But I’ve never seen you look like this over an expiration date.”
THE OFFICE was quiet when Abby walked in, completely abandoned for the weekend. She walked with careful steps toward her desk, anxiety and anticipation building, wondering who or what she would find when she finally got there. As it turned out, she needn’t have worried. Everything was in the same place it was when she’d left last Friday evening, and Cole was nowhere in sight. She went to the storage room and picked out a file box, then brought it back to her desk and began packing all of her personal belongings. Only once did she look at Cole’s door, but the longing and pain in her heart was ever-present.
Abby was putting the last framed photo in her box when she heard the front door open, and she knew it was him. Even though he’d broken her heart, the rest of her body was so hyper-aware of his presence that she didn’t even need to see his face to know that he was near. Her heart picked up speed, thrumming against her chest, and she quickly put the photo in the box, not wanting Cole to see her hands shaking.
He stopped a few feet away from her, just outside of the shadows of the unlit office.
“Abby,” he said quietly, his voice so full of remorse that it made the one piece of her heart that was still intact shatter into a hundred pieces. “I was on my way to your apartment and I saw you walking toward the subway. I figured you were coming here and I…I wanted to see you. To talk to you.”
Abby swallowed against the painful lump in her throat and swiped at her eyes. Damn it, she didn’t want him to see her cry.
“I’m just collecting my things,” she said, her voice wavering. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
He stepped forward into the light, breathtakingly handsome as always. “Please don’t go.” The words were raw emotion, reflected in his eyes.
All of this was just too much for Abby to bear. Why couldn’t he have just wanted her? Why did there have to be strings attached? She was so angry at him for ruining this that she could scream. She’d wanted to get out before she felt this way. She’d wanted to end it before she was forced to.
Nothing, it seemed, was ever going to go according to plan. And she was so angry with him that she wanted to scream.
“Please don’t go?” She sarcastically repeated his question. He’d done everything possible to make sure that’s all she wanted to do. “You got what you wanted, why do you want me to stay?”
He took another step closer. “I didn’t get what I wanted,” he said, and foolishly, Abby looked into his eyes.
“What was the point of all this?” Abby asked angrily. “No, no,” she said, shaking her head as she reached for the lid to the box she’d packed her things in. “I know what the point of it was. I just wish you hadn’t felt the need to make a fool out of me in the process.”
Cole’s eyebrows knit together, his eyes dark. “I didn’t make a fool out of you.”
Abby laughed bitterly. “Do you have any idea how your own company works, Cole? You didn’t encrypt the message you sent to Keith. All the assistants in this office have access to their boss’s email. His assistant is the biggest gossip in the place,” she said angrily. “Do you know how that makes me look? Like I’m just some…some whore.”
Cole took two steps forward. Abby could tell he was angry, and she steeled herself against what he was getting ready to say.
“Don’t say that. Don’t you dare talk about yourself that way.”
“That’s the way you treated me,” Abby said, matching his anger.
“No, it’s-”
“Either I wanted you too badly or I was too stupid to realize what was going on. And now not only do I get to feel like a complete fool, but soon the whole company will know. Even if there was nothing going on between us, I wouldn’t be able to stay after something like that.”
“I’ll fire her if she dares say anything about you.”
Abby sighed, shaking her head. “For what? She didn’t do anything wrong, I did. And I knew better. But I wanted you so badly that I just didn’t care. The great Cole Kerrigan showing someone like me attention…I just didn’t know what to do with myself. Besides, you fire her for something like that, then the rumor mill will be twice as bad, and then people really will think I’m trash.”
He actually looked pained to hear the words aloud. “Please,” he begged. “Stop talking about yourself like that.”
“You used me, and it hurts to hear that out loud, doesn’t it?”
“I didn’t use you,” he said adamantly. “Abby, I didn’t even think of doing it until-” he stopped himself, knowing he’d gone too far.
The words hit Abby like a punch to the gut anyway. What more could hearing the rest of it hurt? She was numb at this point.
“Until what?”
He stared at her a long while, as if he were memorizing her. As if he needed to remember what she looked like because he knew that after he said what he was getting ready to say that he’d never see her again. Finally, the words came. “Until later that night.”
Abby had lied to herself; she wasn’t numb. She wasn’t anywhere in the vicinity of numb, because the admission hit her like an arrow to the chest, pain splintering out and breaking her into tiny pieces. More tears fell, only this time she didn’t bother wiping them away. She wanted him to see what he had done to her. But she had to know one thing.
“Why didn’t you just ask me to talk to him? I would’ve done it.” I would’ve done anything for you, she wanted to tell him. But she didn’t.
“I was worried that you’d tip him off to the fact that I had some idea of what he was up to.”
So now I’m untrustworthy too.
“So, you just took me up to Chicago hoping he’d ask me out and tell me his grand plan? That sounds like a huge stroke of luck, even for you.”
“No,” Cole replied, at least having the decency to look embarrassed. “I knew he had been calling you, and I figured he was using you to get to something.”
Abby felt a fresh wave of tears falling. “Yeah, I guess it would make sense for him to be interested in me only to get to you. Apparently that’s my main appeal, getting people what they want.”
Cole stepped forward and reached for Abby’s cheek, but she flinched away from him. “That’
s not what I meant,” he said, sounding very sad and resigned.
“Will you please just let me box up my things in peace?”
Cole stood next to Abby, lingering as if he was waiting for her to change her mind, for everything to go back to the way it was just hours before. “I want you to understand, that I ultimately went about this the way that I did because I didn’t want you to feel like this.”
“What a consolation that is.” Abby threw the top on the box, just wanting to get out of the office and out of his presence as soon as possible.
“Abby,” Cole said, and there was a tenderness in his voice that made Abby look up at him. “I don’t know how to be in a relationship. I never have.”
“Clearly.”
“The truth is that I’ve never wanted to try it as much as I want to try it with you.”
Abby felt an ache somewhere inside of her, one that took the place of the thrill she should’ve felt from hearing those words. She would’ve felt it just this morning, before one email changed everything.
“And I’ve never wanted to get out of here as much as I want to get out of here right now.” She grabbed the box and shoved past him, walking as fast as she could to the elevator bank. She was no match for his long stride though, she knew he was following her.
“Wait,” he said in a rush. “Please, wait.”
Abby had waited for him for months. She couldn’t wait any longer. She couldn’t hurt any more. The elevator doors opened seconds after she pressed the button. She stepped inside and Cole pressed his hand against the door to prevent it from closing.
His eyes mirrored her own sadness. So much so that she almost believed that he was hurting as much as she was. That he was truly sorry for what he’d done. But Abby knew, deep down inside of her, that was only her desire for things to be back the way they were. He gazed at her sadly.
“The truth is that I don’t know what to do without you.”
“You’ll find another assistant,” Abby said, pressing the button for the bottom floor.
“But I won’t find another you.”
She wished she could just be angry at him, that every single word didn’t rip her insides to shreds. She wished she could just walk away from him and stop caring. It would’ve been easy if she didn’t love him so much.
“Please let me go,” she begged.
Cole tapped his fingers against the door and Abby could tell he was just waiting, hoping that something would change. That she would give in. He was used to that. Finally, he pulled his hand away. Abby looked down at the floor, unable to look into his eyes one last time.
CHAPTER TWO
COLE SETTLED into a luxuriously soft chair in his brother’s den, cradling his month-old niece Alexandra in his arms. She grabbed his index finger with her curiously strong newborn fist, and despite all the inner turmoil he felt, he couldn’t help but smile at her.
“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Scott Kerrigan said as he set down a bottle of water on the table next to his brother. “Nice of you to finally stop by.”
“It’s funny how you look like my brother but sound like my mom,” Cole said, gazing lovingly at his niece. He wasn’t going to let his only brother irritate him, not today. Not when he needed his advice more than ever.
“Okay, okay,” Scott said, holding his hands up as he laughed. “We’d like to see you more is all. Tyler was asking about you the other day.”
“I’ll stay until he wakes up from his nap.” Cole looked at his brother and smiled, letting him know that he was making an effort.
“He’d like that.”
“I picked up a model of the Sears Tower for him while I was in Chicago. I thought he’d like that for his birthday.”
“The Willis Tower,” Scott corrected.
“Whatever.”
“Tyler idolizes you, you know.” Scott leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs.
“Well, he shouldn’t.”
Scott gave him that brotherly look; the one that told Cole that Scott knew that something was going on. “Usually holding the baby soothes the self-loathing.”
Cole’s heart warmed as his niece gripped his finger tighter and let out a wide, toothless yawn. Then, he looked at his brother with anguish in his eyes. “I messed up, Scott.”
“Want to tell me about it?”
“No, I just stopped by to mooch off your Evian supply.”
Scott rolled his eyes, but didn’t offer a reply like he usually would have.
“Yes, I want to tell you about it,” Cole said, resigned. He smoothed Alexandra’s whisper-fine hair with the backs of his fingers and had a fleeting thought of what it would be like to look down into the face of his own sleeping infant. It was a warm feeling. “I can’t do it while I’m holding her though.”
“Jesus, what did you do?” Scott stood and gently lifted his sleeping daughter, then carried her over to the bassinet in the corner of the room.
Cole waited until his brother returned to his seat to start talking.
“My assistant…”
“Annabel?”
“Abigail,” Cole said before he caught himself. “Abby.”
“What happened?” Scott eyed Cole suspiciously, and rightfully so.
Cole paused for a moment, dreading the look of judgment in Scott’s eyes once Cole told him what he’d done.
“I slept with her.” That wasn’t enough of an explanation and didn’t nearly do their relationship justice, but it would have to do for now.
Scott sighed, tilting his head back. “Christ, Cole. I thought you knew better than to shit where you eat?”
“I do, I just…” Couldn’t resist her. Fell in love with her.
“Do you have any idea how big of a liability this is? You’ve just left yourself wide open for a lawsuit.”
Cole loved Scott dearly, but he was always an attorney, even when Cole just needed a brother. “I know that.”
“She can’t even really give consent, Cole. With you as her superior, she could make a case for harassment and coercion.”
“I know, Scott. I didn’t come here for legal counsel, I have a team of lawyers for that.”
“Do they know about this?” Scott asked.
Cole looked down and shook his head. “No.”
“If you were smart you would tell them.”
“I’m not worried about her filing a suit.” Abby should do that, but she wouldn’t. She cared for Cole, she had told him as much. She wanted him to erase what he’d done, and no lawsuit was able to do that.
“You should be.”
“I need advice,” Cole said, sounding exasperated. He was tired of the third degree; it was making him feel shittier than he did already. “I don’t know how to make it right.”
“Make what right?”
“I got word last week that one of my employees was shopping top secret project specs to potential buyers in Japan. I knew what he was trying to sell, I just didn’t know if someone else was in on it and I wasn’t sure exactly who he was selling to. I wanted that information before I fired him so I could make sure that we didn’t leave ourselves open to theft or corporate espionage.”
Scott shook his head. “It amazes me that you thought that through so carefully, but not your sexual relationship with your assistant.”
Cole glared at his brother, but it only took a few seconds for his gaze to soften. Scott was right to reprimand him; what he’d done was incredibly stupid. “Well, as it turns out, I didn’t think that through so carefully, either.”
“What do you mean?”
“I had IT pull everything from his computer. Every outgoing communication. Nothing. His phone records turned up several calls to one person in particular.”
Scott sighed. “Abby.”
Cole nodded.
“Was she in on it?”
“No. I was hoping that if I somehow got the two of them together that he would be dumb enough to spill. Turns out that he wanted to use her to get to me.”
“So…”<
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“I took her with me on a trip to Chicago, which is where the office this man works out of is located.”
“And then you slept with her to get what you wanted.”
Cole could hear the disappointment in Scott’s voice. “No,” Cole said quietly. “That happened before I knew about the thief. But only by half a day.”
“Christ, Cole. Why didn’t you just tell her what you were up to?”
“That would’ve been the easy and smart thing to do. Strangely enough, I didn’t want her to feel like I was using her.”
“But you were, just not in the way you thought you would be.”
“I know that now,” Cole replied, his eyes downcast. “Being the amateur I suspected he was, this guy made contact with her quickly, then offered her a job in exchange for her stealing some information from me.”
“She didn’t take him up on this offer.”
“No, she came to me immediately. But Keith left for Tokyo on Tuesday and we’re on opposite schedules, so I sent him an email letting him know what happened, including the fact that this man had asked Abby out and that she’d come to me with the information, and-”
“She saw the email,” Scott said, intuitive as always.
“And assumed the worst.”
“It sounds like even the best is a little sketchy.”
Cole had to admit that Scott was right. “She quit.”
“That’s probably for the best.”
Cole nodded. “It is for the best,” he said, looking down at his hands before his eyes met his brother’s. “Because I’m in love with her.”
Scott shook his head, smiling despite the heaviness of their conversation. Cole was certain that was because Scott had never heard him utter those words before.
“I never thought I’d hear you say,” Scott said.
“I’m doing a lot of things lately that I never thought I’d do.”
Scott took a sip of water. “Then you’re in bigger trouble than I thought you were.”
“I am. She won’t take my calls anymore.” Cole was relieved at the shift in the mood, glad that things were finally lighter.
“Since when has that stopped you?”