by R Holmes
"Ouch." I put my hand against my heart in mock hurt.
"Did you watch it on YouTube?"
I gasp. "Insulting. The guys and I spent our summers at Alec's grandparents’ summer house, fixing it up. His grandpa taught us ‘useful life tools’ as he likes to call it. Basically fixing broken shit. Comes in handy sometimes."
"I basically just YouTube everything… and it's a trial and error kinda thing." Her cheeks warm, the blush furiously spreading down her neck and fuck, if it isn't another thing that turns me on about her. I don't get to see the light, happy Presley often, it's refreshing. She's either pissed as fuck at me, or fighting attraction that she'll never win. Each second I'm in her presence I want to know more, see more of who she really is.
"We all have to start somewhere." My lips spread into a teasing grin.
She looks up through thick, dark lashes giving me the tiniest hint of a smile, but it's gone as quick as it came. "Sebastian, thank you... Thank you for tonight. I'm entirely embarrassed, but thankful none the less. I appreciate you sticking around."
"C'mon Pres, you don't have to thank me. That makes me feel like an asshole."
"No I—"
"Don't apologize and don't be embarrassed. Look we all have our own shit, every single one of us, no matter what it looks like from the outside in. And we all have moments where we aren't strong."
She nods.
"If you feel unsafe here, come to me Presley, shit I'm an asshole, but I can't stand the fact that you're terrified."
"Sebastian, you're my student. It's so easy for you to forget, but that hasn't changed. Just you being here puts me in a compromised position."
Before I can even answer, water starts to leak from a different spot from the roof in the kitchen.
"Fuck." I run over and grab a lone pot next to the sink and place it on the floor to catch the drip. When I look up, she's looking at me with a guilty look on her face, one that says she knows exactly what the fuck I'm about to say.
"You can't stay here with this shit. The whole thing is going to fall on your head at any damn second."
"I'm going to call a roofer, I just… I have to pay cash, and not many of them take cash anymore. I tried."
Before I can even think about it, the words are out of my mouth. "I can fix it."
Her eyes flick to mine in shock.
"What?"
"Me and Alec, we can come by after class, on the weekends, whenever. We can repair it, at least until you can figure out the roofing situation, and it'll keep the roof from leaking. Alec has another friend, Rory, his dad owns a construction company, he could probably help out too. I'll ask him. That way you aren't… alone, with me here."
I add the last part in for good measure since it seems to be the one thing that concerns her, being in close proximity with me, alone. She can lie to herself as much as she wants and say that she's worried about being caught, but the truth is, being alone with me makes her vulnerable, makes her face the truth and that's the thing that she's truly running from.
"I don't know, Sebastian, it's inappropriate to have you here," she whispers, her eyes cast down as she says it.
"Oh? Are we really back to this?"
I walk back over to where she stands, closer until I can feel the chill from her body.
"You're fucking freezing." I grab the blanket off of the back of her couch, and wrap it around her shoulders. "Just let me help, Presley, stop over thinking shit, stop making it what it isn't. You need the help, I have the ability to do it. I'll get it done. Don't make it anything more than someone helping you when you need it. "
Maybe if I say it enough, we'll both believe it. Maybe because of the vulnerable moment we shared tonight, or maybe it’s just a foolish mistake… and maybe I’ll regret it, but I still say it.
“Okay.”
13
Presley
When I agreed to let Sebastian and his friends fix my roof, I didn't think he meant the very next day. But, at six o'clock on the dot there was a hard knock on the door, and when I opened the door there he stood. Next to him, I remember is… Alec, I think. He's tall, and his shaggy hair partly hides his eyes. He’s wearing a wide, genuine grin. Then there's Rory, I assume, since Sebastian mentioned him last night. He too is tall, has broad shoulders like a linebacker, and a smile that reveals perfectly white, straight teeth.
"Hi," I say. "I'm Ms. Ambrose… as I'm sure you probably know by now," I mumble, suddenly embarrassed of my choice of words.
Alec's grin widens. "Yeah, I know who you are, Teach. I'm Alec, this is Rory, and you obviously already know Casanova here." The dimple in his cheek pops. There's something inviting about him, like he's working extra hard to charm me. Sebastian probably warned him I was nervous.
"Hi, I'm Rory." He sticks out a thick hand for me to shake. I place my hand in his and he chuckles when he feels the slight shake. "If it's okay, we're going to take a look around and see where the damage is, get a feel for what we need to fix?"
I nod, looking over at Sebastian, who's extra broody today. His brows are furrowed, his jaw is set tightly.
Alec and Rory brush past into the cabin and immediately begin inspecting things, and Rory pulls out his notepad and starts jotting things down.
"Everything okay?" I ask Sebastian, who hasn't moved from his spot.
He shrugs, "Just some shit going on."
"Wanna talk about it? I know… I know I'm not the greatest talker myself but I think I'm a pretty good listener."
His eyes meet mine momentarily and I see something stormy in the dips but he just shakes his head and looks past me at Rory and Alec as they make their way through the cabin.
"Nah, nothing you can help with thanks, Pres.”
My insides warm with the nickname. As hard as I try, as fiercely as I try and fight, as much as I lie to myself, I can't deny that I feel something for Sebastian Pierce. Not the spoiled, entitled, rich boy who has the world in the palm of his hand but the side that he shows whenever he's not around anyone else. The charming, kind, selfless man inside of him. Even if it comes with an ego the size of a small country, and entitlement that can't be bought.
But no matter my desire and no matter my attraction towards him we could never act on it, we can never cross that line. I keep telling myself that over and over and hoping that I begin to believe it. As soon as Sebastian steps over the threshold Hope prances over to rub along his ankles until he notices her.
He looks down at her with a small frown. "Sorry little one, I am not a cat guy." His nose wrinkles with distaste.
I put my hand over my mouth to stifle the giggle at his emphasis on not, but I bend down to pick her up myself. Rubbing her favorite spot behind her ear as she purrs away unaffected.
"Presley, I mean…Ms. Ambrose, sorry," Alec shifts from one foot to the other, "I'm gonna go get some of the materials out of the truck. We found more spots than we thought that need to be repaired."
"I really appreciate your help, Alec, I know it's not what you want to do after a long day.”
Rory brushes past him and bumps his shoulder playfully as he walks out to the car. If I'm not mistaken there's a sense of… familiarity between them? And it doesn't seem like that of friends, but I could just be picking up on the wrong vibes.
"It's no problem, happy to help. Although I have to say, you have a lot of work that needs to be done in this cabin. Bash told me that there were some issues but it was a bit more than I was expecting. Your hot water heater is on its last leg, the furnace looks like it's barely going to put out and there's winter coming. Not to mention, all of the floorboards and the kitchen need to be pulled up."
"I know, I have been meaning to get to everything… it's just been a lot."
He smiles warmly. "Hey, it's okay. At least you have us, we can get you fixed up. I'm sure Bash and Ror will help me out and get you taken care of."
I'm taken back by his kindness momentarily, but give him a small smile of gratitude. "Oh please, I won't take up any more of y
our time. I'm just thankful you guys are willing to do this."
Behind me, Sebastian seems to be hammering into the wall, harder and harder with each word Alec and I exchange.
"Alec, a little help over here?" he mutters.
I bite back a grin as Alec shoots me a wink, and walks back over to Rory and Sebastian. Not wanting to be in the way whatsoever, I grab a book from the small bookshelf next to my bed, and sit with my back against the headboard and read.
Well, that's a lie.
I attempt to read, but the constant drilling and hammering from the power tools keeps me from retaining anything. I can't help but steal small, hidden glances at Sebastian as he works, out of curiosity mostly. He's an enigma, and it surprises me. I hear people talk, I know the things they say about him and his friends. You'd be amazed by the things a teacher overhears.
I know the rumors, the preconceived notions, and I knew that who he really is, is a mixture of both.
He has the entire world in the palm of his hand. Wealthy family, an unbreakable bond of brotherhood, model looks, irresistible charm. Confident, if not cocky. Arrogant. But, then there's the man you see beneath the polished exterior. The one who carried me over a mile without complaining once, who spent the night in the hospital.
Even though he had plenty of other things to do. The guy who volunteers his free time to fix the broken things in my cabin even though I know he's wanted elsewhere.
He's shown his selflessness, the loyalty he shows to the people that he loves.
He says he sees me, the real me, but I see him just the same.
I flip the pages of the book, not bothering to even pretend I have the slightest clue of what's actually happening, but more so listening to the very heated conversation the guys are having.
"Dude, that's fucking disgusting, banana peppers do not belong on Pizza." Alec shivers in disgust. "What is wrong with you?"
He seems downright offended that Sebastian likes banana peppers on pizza, and I have to bite my lip to keep the laugh from escaping. I don't want to be caught eavesdropping, even if Sebastian has glanced my way more than once and quickly looked away before he thinks he's been caught.
"Yeah? Coming from the idiot who thinks pineapple goes on it," Sebastian mutters, hammering another nail into the wall.
Rory grins next to Alec but doesn't add to the conversation. He's the more quiet one of the two, but I get the feeling it's not because he doesn't have anything to say, but more so that he's observing.
"Whatever, next time we go to Dave’s, I'm making you eat it. Don't knock it until you try it." Alec glances at Rory.
With a shrug and a dramatic eye roll he pipes in the conversation. "Both of you are ridiculous. Valentina and I both just each get half what we like, so I'm sure you two could do the same." Rory laughs.
Watching the exchange between the three of them is hilarious.
Alec sets down the heavy drill on the side table, but sits it on the edge, teetering back and forth over the edge, right over where Hope is snuggled, sound asleep.
"Alec!" Sebastian cries, diving for Hope.
He catches the drill just as it is about to hit the ground. She opens her eyes and stretches, completely oblivious to almost being crushed by a power tool. I set my book down to go to her, but Sebastian scoops her up and snuggles her against his chest, rubbing behind her ear.
I don't know who's more shocked, him or me.
I thought I heard him say he wasn't a cat person, but… here he is cuddling her against his chest like he is most definitely a cat person.
"It's okay girl, Bash got you," he says quietly, holding her gingerly in his hands. It's adorable watching him handle her when he was convinced he would hate her from the start. Yet, he’s tender and gentle with his touch.
After a few minutes, he looks up to catch me looking at him, and quickly sets her back down onto the floor.
"Watch what you're doing, dude. I'm not a cat person but damn, she's just a baby," he grumbles, shoving Alec who mutters something under his breath I can't make out.
"Goddamnit," Sebastian bellows, causing me to look up from the book I was attempting, and failing to read. A romance book, of course. But nothing inside of the pages captured my attention. I spent the better part of an hour, sneaking glances at Sebastian as he was using a hammer and other tools to repair the roof. The first thing I notice when I look up, is the blood squirting, literally squirting from his hand onto the white T-shirt he's wearing, the bright red seeping into the white cotton of the shirt causing my stomach to turn.
I hate the sight of blood.
"Oh god!" I cry, flying up from the bed and over to his side where he's clutching his hand to his chest, swearing. "Come on, to the bathroom." I grab his arm, practically dragging him behind me, only glancing back to see if he was leaving a trail of blood on the wood, which thankfully he wasn’t.
Once we're inside, the space is barely big enough for one person, let alone, two so I close the door and turn the water on in the sink faucet.
"What happened?" I screech when he lifts up his hand, and I see the clear hole on his finger. The blood pours down his hand onto his elbow.
"Jesus, Sebastian!"
I step closer, grabbing the towel from the rack next to the sink and taking his hand in mine. The second my skin touches his, it's like an electric current flowing through his fingertips to mine. I hurriedly wrap the towel tightly around his finger, applying pressure to slow the bleeding.
He hisses when I squeeze tighter, but I don't let up, knowing if I do, the wound will still bleed freely. I can feel his eyes burning into me, but I know better than to lift my own to meet his. I can't.
The air around is charged, and I feel the shift. Shit. I didn't think this through. The last place I needed to be was here, alone, in a tiny room with someone who disarms me so easily. He sits on the edge of the tub so I can fully inspect his hand.
"Presley," he whispers, haggardly, his hand tense in mine.
Insanity, by definition, is the same action over and over expecting different results. What I feel right now, in this moment, what I always feel for him is insanity. Putting myself in the palm of his hand, every time, is insanity. Pretending I can't fall victim to the charm, the confidence that he eludes from every pore on his body. I was a fool, and an insane one at that.
"Don't move. I'm trying to stop the bleeding," I tell him. My eyes are still glued to the towel that is now stained red with his blood, but it seems to be slowing slightly. He must have been hammering pretty damn hard to send a nail straight through his finger.
"I think you might need stitches."
"No, I'm fine." He starts to pull from my touch and I give him a look that stops him in his tracks.
"Stop, you'll just cause it to bleed harder."
It's the first time since the night he took me to the hospital that we've been this close. The way that my heart races inside of my chest is the first sign that I shouldn't be alone with Sebastian. I know if I look up now, his eyes will be stormy, lit with a ferocious lust and I have to be the strong one.
"Pres," he whispers, his voice strained, louder this time. Somehow I’ve ended up between his legs, my knees hitting the material of his gym shorts.
"Don't Sebastian." I refuse to look up, to give into the insanity that is driving us both to the point of no return. Focusing instead on the spot on his hand I'm applying pressure to.
"Look at me."
His words are more of a plea than a command. I hear the desperation in his voice, and I feel it. It's exhausting fighting a war you can never win, regardless if you are the one who decided to fight it.
"No."
He lifts his uninjured hand and his fingers find my chin, tipping my face up towards him. Our eyes meet, and the outside world fades away. His injured finger, the sound of his friends right outside of the door hammering nails into the roof, all of it fades and only we exist. Just the two of us, hovering over destruction.
"Tell me you don't feel it, right now
. Tell me."
I can't lie to him; I've lost track of the times I've had to lie since I got to St. Augustine. I refuse to be a liar any longer, not with this. With him.
"We can’t, Sebastian." My voice breaks.
The muscle in his jaw ticks as he clenches his teeth together in frustration but his eyes never leave mine. They burn straight through me. Want like never before courses through my body, invading my thoughts, manipulating my resolve.
The air around us sizzles, much like what I'm feeling. Hot, needy, forbidden desire.
Sebastian reaches up, threading his hand through my hair, and I bite my lip to keep from melting into his touch. His hand, strong and comforting, holds my nape, while he never takes his eyes off of me. His touch is desperate, his gaze is molten. I don't know if I'm strong enough to stop.
"Not gonna stop, Pres," he whispers, leaning closer and closer. I know if I don't speak up now, if I don't say no and be the rational one, we'll cross the line we can never come back from. There's no going back to the way that it was before.
His lips are so close, a centimeter from my own, his hand entwined with my hair, our bodies so close. I decide then, that whatever havoc that Sebastian is going to wreak in my life, would be worth it. Without a doubt in my mind.
Boom.
"Yo, you alive in there?" Alec's voice travels through the door as he beats his fist against the wood.
We both jump apart like we've been caught in the act and it's like cold water doused on us both, extinguishing the flame.
Sebastian clears his throat, "Yeah, I'm good. Just wrapping my hand up. Fucking nail went through it."
"Ooookay."
Only when the heavy thud of his shoes retreating do I let my body relax.
"I—" he starts, but I hold my hand up, stopping him. Finally my head is clear of the lustful fog that was keeping me from making the right decisions.
"You wanted to know why. That, right there is why, and that's all the why there needs to be."