by R Holmes
Once I finish loading the truck, I walk back inside and see Presley's fidgeting nervously with her shirt. I hate that she’s so nervous about coming, and being around the guys, but I’ll show her it’s going to be fine.
Rory walks up just as I slam the trunk shut, and Presley smiles when she sees him.
"Rory, hi!"
Giving me a wave he says, “Hi,” and then pulls Presley into a hug. “Presley, I heard what happened with the window… I'm so sorry."
She gives him a small smile as he lets go.
Neither of us are close to Rory, but at the same time he's Valentina's best friend and all around a good guy. I trust him to get the house back right for Pres.
"Yeah, truthfully, I'm glad to be leaving for a while. I just… I can't stop thinking about it, you know?" Presley’s brows pull together.
Rory nods, "I know. But don't worry, I'm going to get everything fixed up and you'll be locked up tight when you get back."
"Thanks Rory. So, um, do you want me to show you where stuff is for Hope?" She gestures over her shoulder at the house, and we follow behind her back into the house.
"This is where her food, litter, and catnip is. She's pretty chill, and just kind of sleeps most of the day. Oh, but she does like this toy."
She walks back to the couch and picks up a long stick with a fake mouse at the end.
"Got it." Rory laughs. Hope wanders over curiously and rubs against his leg.
"Awe, you are so cute." He picks her up and gives her a head rub. Hope mews in his hands, purring loudly.
"I feel so much better, look how much she likes you."
Presley sighs visibly, a weight seems to lift from her shoulders. If we're honest, I feel better too. I know that the damn cat is all Presley has and she was worried about leaving her, but Rory seems to have it under control.
"Pres, you ready to go?"
One last longing look at Hope and she sighs, nodding.
"Bye, Hope. Thanks Rory."
He nods, still petting Hope. "I promise it'll be fine, we're going to watch lots of Gossip Girl and overdose on cat nip." Winking, he goes and sits with Hope as we walk out the door.
"Stop worrying. Everything's going to be fine." I laugh, opening the car door for her.
"That's what they always say."
Women.
20
Presley
Halfway out of St. Augustine, the rain came. The clouds brewed through the windshield, dark and angry, before the sky opened up in a torrential pour. It seemed like a small nugget of hope the universe was giving to me after last night. My insides still feel shaken and tight with unease, the sound of glass breaking and the door being kicked through are on a constant loop in my brain, never letting up even when I squeeze my eyes shut.
Now, I feel like the hope I was clinging to was nothing but a false sense of security that pulled the wool over my eyes for too long. It was like cold water doused on my face, bringing back the harsh sting of reality. I hadn’t told Sebastian anything I was feeling, and he didn’t press. I guess he knew if he did, I’d run.
I've always been good at running.
I can’t seem to pull myself from this unhealthy headspace that I find myself in. It has been so long since I let the negative, fearful emotions control me but last night knocked the breath from my lungs. Anxiousness claws at my throat, and the walls of the truck seem to get smaller and smaller every mile we pass out of St. Augustine. I developed dependency in the safety net that the town provided only to have it ripped away last night, leaving me exposed and raw. My greatest fears came barreling through that window. My life is the shards of sharp glass that fell at my feet.
Alec cranks the stereo up louder, pulling me from my thoughts. I had to try and be present, and not show Sebastian how badly I was wounded. I don't know that he would ever be able to repair the jagged flesh. The scars are too deep. Still exposed and open for the world to see. Lord knows I am shit at hiding behind the pain. I squeeze my eyes shut, desperate for a moment of relief, praying that sleep gives me respite. Not to mention how anxious and exposed I feel having to be in a vehicle with students, even if they are Sebastian’s brothers. The entire situation makes me uncomfortable.
A while later I feel a hand on my shoulder, jolting me awake. I must have finally dozed off from sheer exhaustion. Only now I felt even more exhausted then before I closed my eyes.
"It's just me," Bash's warm breath brushes along the shell of my ear, brushing his lips against my skin, causing me to shiver. I am still jumpy, completely on edge.
"Yo, holy shit it's a fucking carnival. I haven't seen one of them since I was a kid," Alec exclaims from the front seat. He's pointing straight ahead where there is indeed a huge carnival tent, Ferris wheel and other carnival attractions from what I can see.
A smile instantly lights up my face. I've always wanted to go to a carnival, but had never been as a child. I look at Sebastian who rolls his eyes at Alec.
"I've always wanted to go, but my parents never had the money to take me," I tell Sebastian.
"Really? You wanna go?" he asks.
"Oh no, I don't want to slow down the trip or anything."
"Rhys, pull in, we're going to the carnival."
"What?" Rhys asks, his eyes meeting mine in the reflection of the rearview. I got the feeling he didn't care for me very much. I can tell with his demeanor towards me. I don't know if Sebastian notices, and I won't say anything but I feel it. He's intense and broody, his eyebrows always furrowed with a deep scowl upon his lips.
"We're going. Presley wants to go and Alec's about to piss his fucking pants if we don't take him." He smirks.
He's right. Alec's dancing around the front seat like a five year old at a… well, at a carnival. Overcome with anticipation. Alec I like. He is kind and I can see in his eyes how genuine he is. Plus, he's hilarious and he's always making us all laugh and that means he's not entirely psycho. Rhys on the other hand… jury's still out. Ezra chuckles darkly next to Sebastian who’s riding “bitch” as Alec has told him… more than once.
"Sebastian no, it's okay—" He cuts me off, shaking his head.
"Babe."
One word. One syllable . The ability to make me turn to a pile of bones at his feet.
Rhys and Sebastian lock eyes in the rearview and say nothing for a few beats, but he pulls the truck off onto the service road and heads towards the carnival.
"Fuck. Yes!" Alec yells.
We pull into the parking lot and park at the very back, since apparently Sebastian is worried about some "kid" scratching the truck and we make our way to the ticket booth. It's like a dream. As if I was still sleeping in the backseat, the entire thing was perfect. It's like we walked back into the past to the fifties. The ticket booth is small, and the cashier says cash only.
Sebastian produces a hundred dollar bill, paying for us all. The ticket person gives us a handful of tickets, and lets us through the gate.
The first thing I notice when I step inside is the smell of fresh popcorn that makes my mouth water.
"Sebastian, oh god it smells heavenly," I groan.
"Presley, do not fucking start because this is not the place to get my dick hard. " H e groans back, pulling me back against him. I can feel him hardening against my ass, and I think twice about voicing my love for food.
"Fine, but can we get some? And cotton candy? Oh, what about funnel cake?"
He laughs. "Okay you and Alec are a match made in heaven. All you two think about is food."
"I'm a growing boy," Alec pipes in from somewhere behind us.
"Whatever you want, babe." He drops a kiss to the side of my head before pulling away and falling into step beside me. Then, it dawns on me. This is the first time Sebastian and I have ever been in public together. Or anywhere together outside of my house. We are far enough from St. Augustine that no one would even know who we are, but once the realization hit me I couldn't help but b e slightly nervous. What if someone had come from out of town and foun
d us?
"I can literally see the shit running through your head right now. We're hours away from St. Augustine, don't worry about it."
I try and push my nerves back down and enjoy being here, after all I'm the reason they stopped.
"What's the one thing you want to do more than anything?"
"Hmm." I hum, trying to decide what will take the number one spot. "Ferris wheel. Back home, there was a carnival that ca me to town every summer. One year, I saved all of my money which equaled to like all of five dollars, but I saved it to be able to go. My mom cried when she couldn't take me. Looking back, I can't imagine how bad that must have made her feel. Her and my dad worked so hard to provide a safe, loving home for me and being a kid, I just didn't realize the impact of things like that. Hence why carnivals haven't been very high on my list since."
"Well, you're here and I think you should allow yourself the chance to enjoy it. Plus, after the Ferris wheel then it's time for me to beat your ass in the ring toss. Don't worry, I'll take it easy on you."
His lip curves up in a sly grin.
"Oh? And who says that I'm not amazing at the ring toss? Are you assuming that I suck at the ring toss, Sebastian Pierce? You do know what they say about assuming right…"
He scoops me off the ground and spins me around all while I yelp and cry for him to set me down.
"I'll show you all about asses as soon as we get to the hotel room, Presley," he whispers, his voice suddenly dripping with intent and I feel the flush down my neck as I blush.
"Stop it. Your friends are right there."
"So? I accidentally walked in on Alec with some girl the other day. Wanna know what he said?"
I crinkle my nose in distaste because actually, I don't want to know anything about Alec and his sex life. "No, thanks."
"He asked me to join."
My eyes go wide, and I glance back at him , Ezra and Rhys strolling much farther behind us. I'm kind of shocked.
"Wow. Not what I was expecting. You into that Mr. Pierce?" I ask playfully. While we've only been exploring our sexual relationship for a short time, it was clear that Sebastian was into more… kinky things than I was accustomed to.
"Sharing?"
I nod.
"Nah, anyone touches you, I'm breaking their fingers off and shoving them up their ass."
"Good." I grin, rolling my eyes in mock annoyance.
We finally mad e it across the fair grounds to the Ferris wheel. Being up close, it looms over us much higher than I thought it would be. The lights twinkle as it comes to a stop in front of us.
Sebastian hands our tickets to the ride attendant who opens the trolley door and ushers us inside.
"Hell yeah." Alec walks up right behind us, trying to follow us into the car.
"Uh uh. Get the fuck out, take the next one," Sebastian growls, pushing him back and shutting the door in front of him.
"Wow dude, that's fucking cold."
"Here, you, Ez, and Rhys can ride together," He tosses him a roll of tickets and blows him a kiss which Alec catches and puts over his heart.
These guys.
They spent most of the day mocking each other and talking massive amounts of shit, but at the end of the day I know how deep their loyalty runs and not just from what Sebastian has told me. I can feel it when in their presence. The honor. The truth.
The ride lurches, starting its descent to the top and I clutch on to Sebastian's thigh in fear. His arms come around me in a tight embrace, hauling me against his side. Only when I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths do I feel more at ease.
"For someone as hype as you were about this Ferris wheel, you're a bit scared, Pres," he teases. "I don't think anyone's ever died on one, so you're good."
"Great, I feel tons better thanks, Sebastian."
We make it to the highest point and the car lurches to a stop.
"Oh my god," I cry, freezing in my spot, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. I was not prepared to die at twenty six.
"I paid him ten bucks to do that." Sebastian laughs, pulling me over to the side. "Open your eyes, Pres, c'mon. Trust me." He coaxes.
I open my eyes and look out to the city, surprised when my anxiousness all but dissolves with the magnificent landscape staring back at me. "Sebastian, it's beautiful. You can see the entire state from up here!"
The wind whips around us, sending a shiver down my spine.
"See, sometimes you just have to take a chance and believe it'll be all right," he says, gazing out of the car into the distance.
We both know he's not just talking about facing a fear of heights on the Ferris wheel.
Somewhere along the way I had fallen for Sebastian Pierce. I wasn't ready to admit it aloud. I was terrified of the truth, and even more of what it means for the future. He barreled into my life and shook it up, popping the bubble of comfort and security that surrounded me and replacing it with thrill, and feeling alive, after being lifeless for so long. Now a high, I was desperate to chase.
It was scary. Terrifying.
If we were caught, both of our lives would be forever changed. We knew that from the second that it started, yet I ask myself the same question I've been asking from the beginning.
Would my life be the same if Sebastian wasn't in it?
And the scary, unnerving truth was no.
My life would never be the same after Sebastian entered it. He’s strong, when I’m weak. Calm, when the anxious heart inside of me races. Who I am with Sebastian is who I want to be. Happy, safe, protected I couldn't walk away, no matter the consequence. I'd spent the last year of my life, running from someone who promised to love and to cherish me. Who took a vow to protect me and honor me, in sickness and in health.
And he tarnished that vow, over and over.
I was made the fool, over and over. Until I made the choice, I would rather die than stay another second enduring the vile, brutal abuse. I knew when I made the decision to leave, to finally leave, that I was either getting out or dying in the process.
While my heart was battered and beaten, and I was a shell of who I used to be, I somehow found everything I had lost in Sebastian. He surprised me, and took my life by storm. He filled in all of the holes left by someone who never deserved my heart in the first place.
I wish I could tell Sebastian, and give him the truth because he has earned it. He deserves it.
But I can’t. Like the same speech he had given me last night… I have to keep him safe. No matter what it takes. I’m going to keep him safe, and never let the devil take him from me.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Redemption. Second chances. Hope," I answer honestly.
"I'm sorry that someone violated you the way that they did last night. Your home should be a spot where you feel safe, and not afraid. I'm sorry, Pres."
"I'm scared, but I'm strong," I whisper, leaning against his touch. His arms wrap around me in a comforting embrace. It was one of the only places that I truly felt safe anymore.
"I'm glad you're here, Pres."
"Me too. I think this is our first date." I smirk, glancing up at him.
I pause at how handsome he is. His smile, the steel gray of his eyes. The small dimple on his cheek that only pops when he's really smiling. I'm scared if I blink, he'll disappear. It feels strange to be so happy and secure after how long I spent never knowing if I was going to make it to the next day.
"Does Rhys hate me?"
"What? No. Why would he hate you?" His brow furrowed in confusion.
I lift my shoulder in a small shrug, "I don't know… he's just cold. Detached. He makes me feel like he hates me, just by the way he looks at me."
Sebastian laughs. "Well, that's Rhys for you. He's like Edward Scissorhands, minus the scissors. Beady eyes and scowl included. Most people avoid him like the plague, but he's loyal as fuck. My best friend. We’re just kind of used to it."
I nod even though I’m still not convinced.
"Plus, I'd just kick his ass
if he ever said shit to you. Not that it would ever be an issue, but my boys will respect you. That shit is important to me."
Another line that melts my insides.
The car jolts once more, sending us both falling onto the opposite seat. And as it would be, Sebastian on top of me, nestled between my legs.
I brush a stray piece of hair from his face as his eyes search mine. "Thank you, for bringing me along. And bringing me here. It means a lot to me, Sebastian."
His lips find mine in a kiss that I feel to my toes. God, he was so ridiculously good at that. Leaving me speechless with nothing more than his lips on mine.
"It's nothing, Pres. Anything for you, anything."
He pulls back and rights himself just as the cart halts to a stop at the exit. We exit silently, hand in hand, and spot Alec and Rhys standing nearby. Alec's eating a corndog the size of his head, and Rhys is staring down at his phone, his fingers moving faster than the speed of light.
"Dude, you have to try this corndog. Best shit I've ever put in my mouth." He moans around his mouthful of corndog.
"I'm gonna pass." Sebastian laughs, pulling me tighter against him.
"You lovebirds wanna hit up some games? I'm itching to whip Rhys’s ass in something. Anything really," Alec says.
"Fuck off Alec," Rhys says, but his mouth still turns up in the broodiest smile I've ever seen, but like the only time I've ever seen him actually smile. Maybe if he smiled just a little more he wouldn't look so… evil.
"Definitely. Actually, Sebastian and I just talked about the ring toss and he's ready to have his ass handed to him." I grin.
Alec gestures towards Rhys. "It's on. Loser has to ride up front with silent but deadly.” He gags for dramatic effect until Rhys reaches over and slaps him upside the head then starts the car, and heads off down Presley’s road toward the main highway.
For once, it feels like all might be all right in my world. But I can’t help the nagging feeling in my gut that something is brewing. A storm no one is prepared for.
21