Nessa didn’t know what Hillary’s magic could do, but as she stared into Caz’s eyes, she suspected it had some sort of power over him. It was what left him looking drug-addled and twisted. She reached out, instinctively, and touched his cheek. It was wrong. She should have taken her hand back, but she didn’t.
Caz’s hand closed over hers, gentle as it covered her entire hand. She was so small compared to him. Nessa was used to being the smallest person in the room. She was barely over five feet tall and petite at that. Sometimes it bothered her, but not at the moment. Despite their difference in size, she and Caz seemed to fit together perfectly.
Chapter Seven
Nessa woke, gasping for air. Her dreams swirled in the darkness, confused and muddled. She tried delving into the murky memories but came up with nothing. It could have been a nightmare triggered by something she ate before bed. No matter how she reasoned, the feeling of being on the edge of panic wouldn’t disappear. It set her teeth on edge and made her stomach roil. Even her hands shook as she reached for her phone on the nightstand. The pale light of the screen illuminated the room. Her heart hammered, but she couldn’t remember what woke her. Sweat dripped down her forehead. The room was cool, and her blankets had been kicked aside.
Carefully, Nessa moved to put her feet on the floor. Anxiety rolled through her. It settled in her stomach leaving her feeling sick as she peered around and strained to hear. The house creaked like normal, pipes draining and the floor settling. She swallowed, still waiting.
Unable to shake the feeling of danger, she pushed out of bed and into the hall, flicking every light switch she passed until the house was flooded with artificial light. One by one, she checked every room. Nothing lurked behind her shower curtain. Nothing jumped out at her with a knife in the kitchen.
Distantly, she heard a faint meow outside. Had it been a cat all along? She laughed nervously at her own over active imagination. Turning to head back to bed, a howl split the air. The sound was horrific, cutting through her soul. It was the familiar yowl of a cat in pain.
Her knees threatened to buckle as she lurched toward the basement. Downstairs, she flung open the French doors and burst onto the patio. She only made it a few steps before she halted. Hanging from the balcony above was a cat. Its body was limp, swaying in the wind.
Nessa choked on her sob, clamping her hand over her mouth. She backpedaled. Scrambling to get back into the house, even her beast trembled with fear. The image of the cat was burned into her mind. Her jaw trembled, and her hands shook as she tried to unlock her phone. She had dialed the garage number and held the phone to her ear before she realized no one would be there.
The doors shook around her, as if someone was trying to get in. Nessa squealed and ducked her head. The glass groaned as the doors thundered. Every window clattered all at once.
“Hello?” a voice said from the phone.
Nessa couldn’t find her voice. Any minute, they would get in. The door wouldn’t hold forever. The lock would bust, and the doors would swing open. A second cat would join the first. Her blood ran cold.
“Nessa?” Caz’s voice came from the phone. It helped push back the fear in her veins, the fear the clouded her mind. She tightened her grip on the phone, but still couldn’t find her voice. “Nessa! It’s loud on your end. Are you okay?”
All she could get out was a whimper. So much for her fearless beast. She’d been reduced to a cowering puddle. Bile burned her throat and her stomach rolled. Puking would only make the situation worse, she thought.
“Hold on, Nessa! I’m coming to you.” The phone went dead in her hand. She should have felt better, but the fear still rooted her to the spot.
She couldn’t find the courage to look up and see who was at the door. She couldn’t even move. Her body rebelled against her will. The cat inside her howled and scratched at her, desperate to be free of what gripped them. It wanted to run and hide.
Nessa let out a bitter laugh, clutching her middle as she knelt on the floor. She didn’t know how long she sat like that before hands gripped her. She screamed and flung herself away, but the hands held on.
“Shh,” he whispered. Caz pulled her into his larger body. He was warm and gentle. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
Nessa gulped down air. The fear faded, leaving her body tired and her mind spinning. She clutched Caz while the world settled around her. Slowly, she looked around. The doors hadn’t broken, and no windows were shattered. The sound that escaped her was part relief and part whimper.
“What happened here?” A large hand ran down her back. It was comforting. Nessa focused on the warmth to center herself.
She wanted nothing more than to bury her face in the crook of his neck until she returned to normal. Instead, she searched for her voice. “There…there was a cat outside.”
Caz arched a brow. She noticed he was kneeling on the floor with her. His hair was disheveled, falling from his low pony tail. There was grease smeared on his cheek and across his nose. “A cat?”
She knuckled the pain in her chest, willing it away. When she glanced back, her stomach dropped. She pushed out of Caz’s grasp and stumbled to her feet, heading to the doors. There was no cat hanging from the balcony.
It was gone!
Nessa spun. Caz had followed her outside onto the patio. She struggled to do more than point to where the cat had been hanging. His brows furrowed, looking between her and her outstretched arm. Tears fell, unbidden, down her cheek.
What was wrong with her?
***
Worry knotted Caz’s chest. He wanted nothing more than to sweep Nessa into his arms and take her home with him. This was his fault, though. Her madness, or what seemed like madness, was on Caz. He’d invited it into her life and Nessa was paying the price.
No matter what the bear wanted, vengeance and protection for the small shifter before him, he couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t close the space between them like he so desperately wanted. He couldn’t risk touching her where Hillary could see.
He knew this was Hillary’s doing.
“Slow down,” Caz began. “Tell me everything that happened.”
Nessa swallowed, making an audible sound. It only made him want to be closer to her. The desire was quickly turning into physical pain. His core strained, leaning toward her even though his feet remained steadfast.
“At first,” she paused, grimacing. “At first, I woke up. I didn’t know why. I thought, why not check the house and put my worry to rest. The house was as empty as I thought it would be. Then, when I was heading back to bed, I heard a cat yowl. It was the kind of sound a cat makes when they’re in a lot of pain. You know what I mean?”
Caz nodded.
“I didn’t even stop to think. I just rushed downstairs. The sound came from the yard, so I went to help it. Call it instincts, call it being a good person. Whatever I thought, I was an idiot. When I opened the door, I saw it. Someone had killed a cat and hung it from my balcony.
“It scared me so much that I just ran back inside. Before I could even process what happened, the doors started shaking. I thought someone was trying to get inside. Then the windows started rattling. I just…I buckled.” She growled. Her hands fisted at her side. “I thought I was fearless, but I couldn’t do anything more than sit on the floor.”
“That’s not right. You called me. You managed to open your phone and call help. That counts.”
She threw her hands in the air. His feet betrayed him. He closed the space between them, his hands rising to pull her into him. Caz smoothed back her hair to look into her eyes. It was more intimate than he deserved. They barely knew each other, but this woman who had helped two local Alphas find mates had called him.
She could have called Nikolai or Oscar, but she’d called him. It made him feel special in a way he didn’t deserve. This was his fault and he knew it. Hillary had cast an illusion over Nessa’s home. The spell had awakened her, had rooted the fear deep inside Nessa. Her response wasn’t her faul
t.
“The sun is about to rise,” Caz managed to say. “How about we go inside and have a cup of coffee.”
She let her head fall against his chest. Her body shuddered before she let out a long breath. He didn’t wait for a response before lifting her off her feet. Cradled in his arms, she said nothing. Retracing his steps, he carried her back upstairs.
The front door was busted, hanging open. Nessa said nothing when she saw it, only tightened her grip on him. He made a mental note to fix it before the day was through. He would buy her a heavier door and a better lock. He owed her far more than that, but it was a decent start.
In the kitchen, he set her feet on the floor. He noticed for the first time that she was wearing nothing more than a long t-shirt. She padded quietly, on long and bare legs, to the fridge where she pulled out a jug. Not caring that she was half naked in the presence of a man, she grabbed two large glasses and poured a dark liquid over ice.
“Is this all you drink?” Caz tried to joke, realizing it was iced coffee.
Nessa shrugged. “Do you know how many hours a day cats sleep? I live on this stuff.”
Fighting the urge to stand over her shoulder, Caz grabbed a stool and sat with he kitchen island between them. Nessa dropped a crazy straw into his iced coffee before pushing it toward him. She poured a hefty dose of cream into her own before hugging it close. She was adorable, he acknowledged.
The simple everyday motions were putting her at ease. He could see how her movements relaxed with each passing second until she was as liquid as a cat again. It only served as further proof that her fear had been Hillary’s doing. He tried to imagine how Nessa might have reacted without the spell over her. It was strange to envision the small creature as an undaunted force.
“I’m really glad I never tried matching anyone with you,” Nessa muttered. “I wouldn’t want anyone else to have to deal with this.” When she looked at him over the top of her cup, she spoke blatantly. “You have horrid taste in women.”
He laughed nervously. The coffee was only setting him on edge, making every drive and desire he tried to hold back even stronger. To busy his hands, Caz reached back and tugged the tie from his hair. He smoothed it back, pulling the errant strands back into order.
“She has been effectively terrorizing me for two years. Once she got her claws hooked in, I haven’t been rid of her. At first…” He didn’t know what he was doing, talking about an ex in front of a woman he wanted so badly. After this, Nessa wasn’t going to want anything to do with him, but he kept going. “When you thought I was on drugs, you weren’t far off. Her magic has a way of clouding your mind. All I remember from the first few months are snapshots of sex. After that, I managed to get bits and pieces of my life back. It helped push her away in the end. Too bad she didn’t stay away.”
“All I wanted was my car fixed.” Nessa shouted the words, her eyes scanning the ceiling as if Hillary was perched somewhere nearby. “He’s all…” Her words died.
Caz jumped to his feet, thinking Hillary had struck again, but Nessa just shook her head. She took another long drag from her own crazy straw. He watched the liquid swirl through seemingly endless loops before reaching her lips.
“Why hadn’t you matched me with anyone before? You’ve had my profile for a while.” There’d been a window where she might have saved him from all of this. He’d given his profile a few months before Hillary strolled into his life. Had Nessa found him a match, Hillary wouldn’t have found a way in.
Nessa moved around the kitchen island to sit on a stool beside him. “I don’t make a match until I’m one hundred percent sure it’s a mated match.”
His brows rose with surprise. “So, you don’t just hook people up who would look good together?”
She laughed, coughed, and wiped inelegantly at her nose. He smiled despite himself.
“I mean it. I look for what people need in their lives and what they’re struggling with. When I see two people who need something in the same area or whose strengths mirror the other’s weaknesses, then I make a match. The only exception was my sister and her mate. I think you know her.”
He nodded, embarrassment darkening his cheeks. How many weeks had he spent accosting Lia? The drive to claim the coast had fueled every Alpha in the area. The territories were pretty well balanced. Claiming the coast would have shifted the scales of power in the favor of whoever managed to get her. In the end, Lia had fallen in love with another bear shifter from out of town and claimed the territory as her own.
“Miles was screwing with my stats, so I threw him at Lia as a way to for us to use him. She could have a meat shield for a while, and he wouldn’t be using my system like a booty-call app. I never expected it to work out the way it did. I mean, I knew they would like each other, but not that they’d become mates.”
“That’s almost evil. So, you didn’t find anyone that would have been a match for my weaknesses?”
She smiled with the straw still between her lips. He watched the blush creep along her cheeks and felt his chest tighten. She was beautiful, yet unattainable. Her night had been nothing less than a nightmare, and, should he pursue her the way his body demanded, it would continue to get worse.
“Actually, I thought you were a dick, so I didn’t bother.”
His eyes widened. “I’m wounded.”
“You’ll get over it,” she said with a smirk and a shrug. She’d been right when she said the kitten inside her was fearless. Nessa had just told one of the Alpha bears of Monterey to “get over it.”
“Looks like I missed out because someone couldn’t look past my surface. Isn’t that what you claimed to do, to see beneath the surface of the shifters that come to you? You see the things about them that they can’t see?”
Nessa sat up straight, twisting to place her empty cup on the counter behind her before turning back to him. When she raised her chin in defiance, he couldn’t stop himself. He leaned forward and claimed her lips. He moved slow and let her lead. She froze, only for an instant.
Nessa shoved him away. Her mouth was an O of offense, but her eyes were filled with the hunger that echoed inside him. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his lap and explore the sweet depths of her mouth.
What was wrong with him? Why was he like this?
Maybe he deserved Hillary. Maybe he was the brute Nessa thought he was. He and Hillary would go on to be a disaster power couple. He would let her destroy him if it wouldn’t take his Pack, too. They were his priority, first and foremost, even if they drove him mad from time to time.
He turned the cup in his hands, feeling the condensation wet his palms as he thought. It would be smart to set up a failsafe. Should Hillary win and take him, he needed to announce a successor. He needed someone who wouldn’t think twice about putting him down if it came to that. The Pack came first.
As much as he hated to admit it, the kid would do well. He was already showing strength, Caz just had to teach him empathy, too. Jacob wanted the best for his Pack, and that was good, but he needed to learn that even if people weren’t Pack, they deserved his attention. His released the glass, wiping his hands over his face while exhaustion tried to take him.
“You look like you could use another cup of coffee.” Nessa was already reaching for the pitcher of coffee. She leaned close, her shoulder touching his as she topped off his glass.
“Why do you make matches? You could pull away from shifters altogether and avoid all our drama. Instead, you stick your fingers in everything just to make a few people happy. I don’t get it.”
“We both know as long as I live here, there’s no way to keep out of Pack business. You, yourself, brought it to my doorstep when you started stalking my sister.”
His mouth turned sour. Nessa’s words were sharp, brutally cutting to the core, but they were also honest. Her presence sheared away every shield he threw up against the world. Even though she left him bare, he still wanted to pull her into his arms, as if only after she cut him could he be
close to her.
“I’m small, not only as a human but as a shifter,” Nessa said. “While I’m fast and agile, that doesn’t always mean I’ll be able to get away from someone if they wanted to hurt me. My hope was that, if I did this enough, there would be enough people willing to defend me should it come to that. Each match I make is a pair of shifters who would feel some sort of debt toward me. I know it’s selfish, but I’m the one who gives first. That makes it better, right?”
Perhaps Nessa loved what she did. Slung over her shoulders, invisible to the naked eye, was Cupid’s bow. Yet, there’d been a deep-seated fear that drove her actions. Caz was a big, burly bear. He’d fought his way to the top, earning every scar and relishing every drop of spilled blood. With one swipe of his paw, he could crush Nessa—both human and cat.
“Why didn’t you join a Pack, then? A Pack would protect you.” He stifled the urge to pull her into him, to fold her into his arms and fight off the world. Instead, he reached out and tucked an errant curl behind her ear.
She didn’t flinch away from him, so he had that going for him. He wanted more, wanted to feel the breadth of her skin beneath his hands and memorize the taste of her. Here, in nothing more than a t-shirt, he could see the curving lines of her body. No longer was she hidden beneath flowing skirts and boxy blazers. He could see the weight of her breasts, nipples pressing against the thin fabric.
“Joining a Pack meant choosing sides. It meant I wouldn’t be able to make matches anymore. I’d be a part of a single community instead of able to move between them. I could trade doing what I love for protection, or I could use what I love to build protection.” She paused, the moment growing heavy. “Whole lot of use that was.”
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