"Okay, okay. The move went well. The house is just the right size and I love the neighborhood. I think it will be good for us."
He cleared his throat, "And? Did you do it all by yourself like I told you not to?"
"Well, um, actually… no I didn't. Well the first part, yes, but I had a neighbor help me quite a bit yesterday. Almost settled in at this point."
There was silence. Baffled silence. "Wait. You actually let someone help you? A stranger? And you wouldn't let me?"
"It's not that simple, Ben. He is attached to my house and you are hours away. We actually woke him up yesterday morning and I felt bad. He wanted to help and I didn't know how to say no when we had annoyed him already."
I walked into my bathroom and looked in the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyes, betraying my mostly restful night. My headache was barely noticeable now, but I knew it would be back.
"It doesn't sound like he was that annoyed if he wanted to help with all your crap. Did he just help you move some furniture or what?" He was worried about me being alone in a new place. He had always looked out for me, especially after David. I would need to assure him that Andrew was a nice guy so far and had good intentions as far as I could tell.
"Well, I made him some dinner as a thank you and he moved a lot of heavy boxes and helped me put up a few shelves and stuff. He is a nice guy. Olivia really liked him and Monty didn't maul him, so I figured I was safe," I said and shrugged, trying to convince myself it was no big deal.
"Hmmm, well, if Liv approves, I guess I'll back off. And I'm glad he helped. You have to remember to take it easy, Joss. Even though you have been good for a couple years, it doesn't mean that you can just go crazy and strain yourself - which you always do and you know it. Plus, you need to meet new people. Let them in a little." He sighed loudly and got right to business. He knew I hated talking about this crap, so he would get it over with quickly.
"I have three names for you along with contact information. Each one of them, I would personally go to or send Linda to if I had the choice, so you know they are good. I don't know what their schedules are like, but I would be happy to talk to them for you and give a little push.
"We went to high school with one of them, Michael Weston, he is a pretty funny guy and will take care of you as if you were his own family. Julia Hyatt is a little more aggressive when it comes to rules and compliance. You wouldn't want to cross her, but she would be a good choice too. The last one, James Harrison, is fairly new to his practice, but he was top of the class and is a good guy. He actually has a good outcome with some of his more questionable methods of treatment and long term maintenance." He paused for a long second and then asked what I was hoping he wouldn't. "Joss, why do you suddenly want this information? Are you doing okay?"
I took a deep breath and tried to control my voice when I answered, "Yeah, I'm fine!" My voice was too high and he would see right through it, so I cleared my throat and dropped it an octave. "Yes, Ben. I just wanted to have it in case I needed some questions answered or anything like that. I didn't want to need them and not be able to reach you."
He absorbed my answer for a minute and waited for me to tell him anything else, but I wasn't going to, and he realized that when I exhaled noisily and said, "So? The numbers?"
"Fine," he grunted, "but swear to me that if you notice anything out of the ordinary, you will tell me immediately. You know how much Linda and I worry about you. We are here for you no matter what, Joss."
"I know," I said quietly. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat and wished that I wasn't so stubborn. I didn't know how to be any other way, though. Life had forced this on me.
A few minutes later, I had all the information written down and said goodbye to Benjamin. He was like the brother I never had and I missed him like crazy.
Olivia hadn't made any noise yet and I took that opportunity to pull out my new book and read a few chapters. I didn't want to think about what those names meant. I didn't want to call any of them, but knew that I should.
A few more days, then I'll do it.
Andrew
I woke up early to complete silence, but complete chaos in my head. I didn't have to work today and I considered just lounging around and watching TV all day, but thought better of it. I would just talk myself out of asking Jocelyn to bring Olivia to the zoo with me.
The more I thought about asking her, the more I felt like I was back in high school getting prepared to ask Monica Santori to the prom. That was the scariest thing I had ever done and she had knocked me down like a piñata at a 6 year old birthday party. This wasn't high school, though, and Jocelyn wasn't Monica Santori. She was better.
I pulled myself out of bed and put on my running shoes. A good run would push out all this anxiety, I thought to myself, and I needed to wake myself up. It did no good to sit around all day and worry.
The morning sun was just peeking out from behind the mountains and the cool breeze that greeted me on my porch gave me a little more ambition. I worked out almost every day and made sure I stayed in good shape, not only for my job, but for my own health. I wasn't the healthiest kid growing up and would have rather played video games and ate pizza and donuts all day than go outside for two seconds. Madison always begged me to go swimming with her in the summer, but I always made an excuse that it was too hot or I had better things to do. I was a big kid and none of it was muscle. I could barely climb the stairs in school without getting winded.
It wasn't until Mom and Dad got into that accident when I finally pulled my head out and realized that I was only hurting Maddy by guaranteeing that I wouldn't be around for too long if I kept it up. I was 17 when they died and I wasn't about to let Madison get stuck with Aunt Nella and Uncle Chester. They were all about NASCAR, beer, and partying and the 9 months we lived with them was much too long.
As soon as I turned 18, I got us out of there and took over supporting Madison. Our parents had left us a lot of money and the life insurance policy paid a large amount, too. Aunt Nella ended up using a good chunk of it for a remodel she claimed was "only necessary because she had to take care of us". They lost access to any money the second we left. I got a better job and started working out and cooking and cleaning and being the responsible adult Madison needed in her life.
I think I did a pretty good job and Maddy reminds me of that all the time. I still wish I would have done a better job of influencing her schooling. She only went to a year of college before she decided it wasn't for her. I should have pushed her to keep at it and at least get her Associate's Degree, but she was determined to make decisions on her own and deal with the consequences. So far, she hadn't regretted it.
Tyler had been my buddy since high school and had never hinted at noticing Maddy, but then I was pretty sure he was scared I would sit on him for even looking at her. After we moved out of state, he followed and attended college near us and helped me take care of Maddy. I just wish I would have realized that it was for her and not me.
She didn't even know what was going on until a couple years ago and after they got married, they moved here and I eventually followed. No sense being far away from her when she was the only family I had.
I had been so deep in thought, I didn't realize that I had already run 5 miles and had hardly broken a sweat. My usual 10 mile run would be a cinch today and I could use the last 5 to think about Jocelyn and come up with a way to talk to her.
I felt like a moron trying to set up a way to run into her or knock on her door. Maybe I could ask her for a cup of sugar or flour, but then what could I possibly be making? I wasn't very good at the actual cooking I had tried to do. I could chop and stir and mix, but I usually burnt anything I baked or cooked or it tasted like cardboard.
Better think of something else.
I guess I could ask her to help me make something. The helpless, single guy next door act would probably work, only it wouldn't really be acting. I was pretty helpless with stuff like that. So yeah, I would ask her to
help me make something. Cookies. That made sense that I would want to make some cookies. Guys love cookies. Plus, I could see Olivia getting excited about them, too.
I planned it out on the last 3 miles and had it all worked out by the time I got back to the house. As soon as I saw Jocelyn walking out the door with Olivia in her arms, my nerves decided to ruin all of it. She looked incredible in her jeans and a white button up blouse with strappy black sandals. Her hair was wavy and framed her face making her look like a freaking angel. Olivia looked adorable with her hair braided across her head and bunched into a small side pony tail. That girl had a lot of hair.
Without thinking about it, I moved closer and shouted, "Hey, beautiful girls!"
Jocelyn's head snapped up and her full lips turned up into a dubious smirk. "If I didn't know any better, I would say you were sucking up to me so I'd feed you again."
"Ha ha," I smiled and jogged up to her. "Not even close." Oh, but she was close. Now, either way, I would look ridiculous.
"Adoo!" Olivia smiled and pointed her tiny finger at me.
"Hey, pretty girl. Where you off to today?"
I noticed that Monty was standing behind Jocelyn and was on the end of a bright red leash, eyeing me down.
"We are just going for a walk to the park. Monty likes to play fetch with a Frisbee and Liv absolutely loves to make a mess in the sand. We thought we might feed the ducks, too," she said, holding up a small bag of bread. She smiled down at Olivia who started to make quacking sounds. "That's right, babe."
"That sounds like fun, the park is pretty far, though. Were you going to carry her the whole way?"
She glanced down at her feet, "Well, she will probably walk some of the way, but yeah. I don't have a stroller anymore, but this is better exercise anyway."
No stroller. That sounded off to me. Didn't every person with a kid Olivia's age require a stroller? I was sure they did, it was too hard to carry a kid everywhere. Just another thing about Jocelyn that was a mystery. She seemed a little embarrassed by her confession, but recovered quicker than I expected.
"Anyway, it was good to see you," she said as she turned to walk away.
I desperately tried to think of something to say that would make her stay a little longer so I could carry out my plan, but nothing came to mind, so I just blurted the first thing that came out.
"I like Frisbee."
She turned slowly with an amused grin, "That's nice."
"I mean…" Ugh, this is pathetic. "I could throw the Frisbee with Monty while you are with Olivia, if you don't mind me tagging along."
That's the best I can do, now just wait for the rejection and move on, Andrew.
She looked deep in thought for several long, excruciating seconds. She looked down at Olivia and then at Monty, then looked like she had made a decision. "What do you guys think? Should Andrew come with us?"
Olivia looked at me and smiled, "Hi," she said, making me chuckle.
I glanced at Monty who was panting and staring at the Frisbee sticking out of Jocelyn's bag.
"Monty? Would you mind if Andrew threw the Frisbee to you?"
Crap. If it was up to the dog, I had no hope. I smiled at him when he looked back up at me and found myself hoping that he wouldn't see right through me. He kept panting, but almost looked like he smiled.
"Okay, it's settled," Jocelyn nodded. "You can come."
I couldn't take my eyes away from her and the air seemed to thicken around us. It didn't even register that she had just approved my tagging along with her family, she was smiling big and it reached her eyes, and I had never seen anything more tempting than what I was seeing at that moment. I wasn't prepared for this and I was suddenly terrified of how she affected me. My fingers were itching to touch her.
I'm in so much trouble.
Chapter 4
Jocelyn
Andrew hadn't said anything and he was really starting to make me think he was suffering from heat stroke or something because he had paled significantly and his fingers were twitching.
"You okay?" I asked as I took a step toward him.
He flinched as if he had been smacked out of a trance, "Oh, um, yeah. Sorry, I just… I don't know what happened just now. I…" he ran a hand through his messy hair and made it stick up in the front more so than it was already. "I'll go change really quick. Can you wait for a few minutes?"
I eyed him skeptically, but nodded. "Sure."
I watched him dart into his house and let out the breath that I apparently had been holding. He was shirtless and sweaty. When I saw him running down the street before I walked out of the house, I had felt a warm dizziness sweep through me. I may or may not have moved a little quicker than usual to make sure I ran into him. He was very fit and very sexy.
I knew he had been running for quite a while because I heard him leave earlier, but even though he was sweaty from it, he smelled delicious. I was expecting a dirty scent to hit me when he approached, but I was pleasantly surprised that his spicy, sweet scent had stuck with him.
I hadn't expected him to offer to come along, but as soon as the words left his mouth, my stomach rolled with anticipation. The sight of his strong chest and toned arms had nearly taken all my basic speaking skills away and I was expecting to make a fool out of myself. When he asked about carrying Olivia, I had wanted to walk away and avoid explaining not having a stroller, but I steeled myself and tried to be pleasant.
I had to sell a lot of things, the stroller being one of them, and I had always regretted it, but I didn't have a choice. I needed to pay the first 3 months of rent in order to move in and the little savings I had wasn't meant for that.
Monty was lying on the grass patiently. It would be good for us to have an extra person today. I always felt stretched when I was entertaining both of them. Monty wanted the Frisbee thrown consistently and it was hard to help Olivia at the same time.
"Don't worry, bud. I have a feeling you are going to play hard today."
Andrew walked out a few minutes later and my knees wobbled at the sight. He was in khaki cargo shorts and a black t-shirt that hugged his chest and shoulders perfectly and his hair was wet. The smile he gave me was bashful and made my heart sputter. Get a hold of yourself.
"Did you shower?" I asked without pulling my eyes away.
His cheeks turned pink and he looked down at his feet, "Yeah, I did. Sorry to keep you waiting. I just didn't want to be all sweaty on the way."
I blinked several times as I processed his answer, then decided to just shrug it off. He only took 5 minutes in all, so I couldn't complain, and he smelled even better than before. I had no problem walking next to him surrounded by that scent.
"Do you want me to take Monty?" he gestured to the leash that I had clutched in my hand and I had to adjust my grip when Olivia wriggled a bit.
"Oh…" I looked down at my dog and he looked up at me and wiggled his eyebrows. "Sure, but I think he is planning to give you a run for your money."
Andrew glanced down at him and chuckled, "Probably, but I think I might be able to handle him." He dropped down to his haunches and ran his hand over Monty's back, then scratched behind his ears lightly. "Hey buddy, I only want to play Frisbee with you, so promise to be nice?"
Monty's tongue dropped out of his mouth and he started panting again. His ears went back and I knew he had decided to respect Andrew. Probably because of the ear scratching thing.
"I think you won him over."
Andrew was still scratching him when he said, "How can you tell?"
I grinned at the sight of him babying my baby boy, "Because his ears went back. He is in beta mode now. It shows that he has respect for you and your position in this pack." I paused when I realized what that really meant. We weren't a pack. Andrew was just tagging along. He was looking up at me with a wide grin and I knew he realized it, too. "I'm the alpha in this pack, though, so I get to decide who stays and who goes."
He stood at that point and was only a foot away, if that. I suddenly
became very aware of how tall he actually was. He towered over me and I was positive he was at least six feet tall, if not more.
I had started breathing faster when he locked eyes with me and hoped I didn't look like Monty with my tongue hanging out. Damn, why did this man do this to me? I'm not supposed to be thinking these things right now. Not when I had so many other things to worry about.
He spoke softly, but firmly, "Well then, I hope I make the cut." Then he winked.
He winked.
Didn't he know what that did to my already rattled nerves?
He did, because he laughed as he pulled the leash out of my hand. "Shall we?"
Olivia started talking gibberish then with a few random, clear words here and there. She was trying to communicate something to me and from what I could tell, it had to do with getting our butts moving so she could play. I kissed her tiny cheek and wiggled my eyebrows at her. "You ready to go play in the sand?"
"San!" she shouted and pointed to the path we would take to walk. I had only taken her to this park once in the few days we had been here, but she remembered.
Andrew and I walked side by side down the sidewalk and Monty pulled ahead slightly in front of Andrew and kept up a good pace. Olivia started wiggling in my arms within seconds of hitting the sidewalk and I set her down and took her little hand in mine. She didn't like being held onto when there was so much to explore, but she knew I was going to hold onto her hand whether she wanted me to or not.
Andrew had waited for us to move in front of him and I felt self conscious about my backside for a few seconds. I knew he was looking at it, but I was too embarrassed to try to catch him.
"So, did you go to the park a lot where you came from?"
He was fishing for some answers and even though I was hesitant to give him any, I couldn't deny that I liked that he asked. "Yeah, we did actually. There was a great park a couple blocks from my apartment in Seattle. Olivia didn't really get into it at first, but now she loves it. Plus, it wears her out and she sleeps a lot better at night if we go."
Our Time Page 4