by Domino Finn
I rubbed my face. Saint Peter was straight devious.
"Okay," I said, waving off his poor attempts to blend in. "If you're tech support, maybe you can help me."
"I shall strive to, sir."
I nodded. "I know some players are granted access to Everchat. I want in. Saint Peter told me you could enable that for me after I hit level 4."
His brow furrowed. "Saint Peter said this? There must have been a misunderstanding, sir. The feature you request is unavailable."
"No, no. I already know it's available. I've spoken to players who've used it."
He shook his head decisively. "I can add you to a list of early testers and notify you when the feature is available, sir, but—"
"Look," I interrupted. "I get it. You're just some dude making minimum wage, if that exists in India. You have an unhelpful script to follow that's designed to get me to stop complaining rather than actually fix the problem. But things will be much easier if you just help me."
"There you go," he said happily. "You are first in line to receive the feature. I can promise you priority, immediate access—when the feature becomes available."
I scowled. "Oh, never mind then."
"Excellent. May the seven kings of light shine their glory upon you. Good day, sir."
I cursed under my breath before realizing Varnu was still standing there. He raised a pointed finger.
"One more thing. You'll be receiving a short survey where you'll be asked to review my performance. Please make sure to mark a 5 meaning you were fully satisfied with my assistance."
"Thank you, Varnu," I snapped.
He bowed and disappeared. As I sat there fuming, Kyle was stifling laughter.
On any other day, I'd see the humor in the whole affair as well. Saint Peter had successfully trolled me by siccing tech support on me. Even more aggravating was the fact that the help button wasn't grayed out after Varnu's little visit. They were welcoming me to try them again. As many times as I wanted. In one swift move, my plan to slowly wear them down crumbled.
"You have to admit it's pretty genius," offered Kyle unhelpfully.
"It is. They've basically removed all my options. All I can do now is sit and wait for a message from Lucifer telling me it's time to break into the Pantheon."
His smile disappeared. "You really gonna do it?"
"I don't know. It seems like overkill when all I need to do is access"—I stood up—"Everchat." I clicked my teeth together. "How long do you have left on your lockdown?"
"Uh, twenty minutes and change."
"Right. Take care of your shopping as soon as you can." I moved to the front door.
"Wait, what are you doing?"
"I'm backed into a corner, Kyle. It's time to bite back."
I zoned outside and lumbered to the Foot. Everything was much the same as it had been shortly before. I worked through the crowd, forcing my way to the main attraction. Izzy was juggling burning torches now. I punched a fist over her head and knocked one out of the air. It broke her concentration and she jumped backward, catching one but letting the rest clatter to the ground. Her eyes zeroed on me.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Her eyes flared. The thick crowd muttered in amazement. Izzy was a big deal in this town. She wasn't used to anything but flattery. According to Kyle, she shoved her weight around when it suited her. When she was openly annoyed with something, players avoided pissing her off or risked facing her in direct combat. I was surprised anyone agreed to it, but maybe they let their pride get the better of them. They didn't wanna back down from a girl.
Of course, they had good reason to back down. Izzy never lost.
"I'm challenging you," I announced loudly, for everyone to hear, "to a duel in the Arena."
Her eyes flared. Open defiance was new to her. "Are you kidding me, noob?"
The crowd waited in quiet disbelief.
"I'm not." I lowered my voice so only she could hear. "And if I beat you, you agree to let me use Everchat."
She scoffed. "And what's in it for me?"
I pressed into her space. "I stop bothering you about it."
She ground her teeth. It wasn't really a fair deal, but I had nothing else to offer.
"Or," I added, raising my voice for the onlookers, "you could back down because you're afraid of losing."
That got her. Any surprise that betrayed her features was instantly gone. Bloodlust took over. She wanted to kill me twenty times over for the affront.
I offered an open hand. "Do we have an agreement?"
She rudely brushed past me. "Another noob, another lesson. Let's get this over with, stat."
0290 Virtua Fighter
The stadium was a damn good replica of the Colosseum, at least what I thought it should look like. The stone was pristine, smoothed to a dull shine, with bands of painted red and yellow adding flourish. Banners flapped in the wind. As I entered through the arches, a raucous crowd surrounded me. Their applause assaulted my senses. The bass of a hundred stomping feet pounded my ears. The ground shook to the beat.
The stadium space was a barren circle of dirt. Izzy waited at the other end, her weight on one leg. Upon my entrance she righted her posture and lowered her head. She was serious, now. Sharp and focused. Her pixie wings angled down on her back. Her jet-black hair was spiked up. She was ready.
I swallowed, wishing I'd bothered to replay scenes from Gladiator in the media room. It was okay, I told myself. I had a plan.
First was the mental game. I swung my blacksteel spear proudly over my head. I played to the crowd, utilizing my upgraded spear handling skill to toss the weapon and catch it dramatically. They roared in response to my juggling act. I was gonna show Izzy I wasn't scared of her reputation. I'd hit level 4 in less than a day. A scout. I was building a reputation of my own.
As per duel regulations, health and spirit potions were out. Since she was a mystic and had lower health, that stipulation worked in my favor. I just needed to hit her hard once or twice and she'd be as good as done. Getting to her, of course, would be the problem.
The city watch closed the portcullis behind me. The crowd settled into a steady din, and the wind slowed. The only boots on the ground were mine and Izzy's. We mad-dogged each other, a hundred feet apart.
"So how do we do this?" I asked. "We roll for initiative or something?"
She gave me a wry smile. "Your move. It's the least I could offer."
I brought my spear down and tightened my grip. Now that I thought about it, I didn't really want to stab her with it. Neither of us would feel pain, of course. And any damage we suffered would be immediately restored outside the gates. No experience loss or death penalty lockdown after the duel. But Izzy wasn't a murderous boggart or a thieving pack rat. She was just a normal girl with dragonfly wings.
This was all just for show, I reminded myself. It was just a game.
I narrowed my eyes and charged forward. A straight line. As far as strategies went, it wasn't much, but it was solid. It was also designed to make Izzy waste her first move.
She was a frost mage, and her attack was more or less what I imagined it would be. She raised her hands and fired a barrage of sharp icicles. I let them come right to me before I activated dash, skirted to the side, and continued my charge. Half the distance between us was cleared, and I was unscathed.
She smirked and fired another volley. This time the icicles went straight up into the air. The crowd oohed and aahed as thirty stalactites hovered in open sky high above the Arena walls, each sharpened point aiming at me. As the spell readied itself, I continued closing the distance. I needed to get to the mage with as little damage as possible. Then the fight would be over.
I didn't have as much time as I'd thought. The icicles rained down in clusters of two, three, and four. The strikes were random enough and timed to defy prediction. Luckily, I'd maxed out my agility stat. I canceled my charge and faced the raining spell, darting this way and that as I desperately waited
for my dash to recharge.
It didn't come fast enough. A block of icicles faked me out and changed direction at the last second. I activated crossblock and heard a crunching sound as sleet sprinkled across my face. I'd parried a central blow but there were too many icicles to take on. A hard nugget pounded my shoulder. It knocked me to the ground where I barely rolled out of the way of another.
I coughed and sputtered in the dirt. My leather had prevented the ice from impaling me, but my whole weapon arm was tingling. I rolled on my back and looked up as the last cluster of spell shards barreled toward me. Izzy had saved the best for last. A block of five frozen lances set to stake me to the ground.
My dash recharged. Not bothering to get off my back, I desperately triggered the skill and slid away, dragged along the dirt as if by a horse. The ice chunks exploded into my old position, spraying the air with hail.
The crowd roared in excitement.
I rolled over and used the spear to climb to my feet. With a bow to the crowd, I dusted off my shoulder with playful swagger. They loved it. I could almost believe they weren't rooting for my gory death.
Izzy's teeth were bared now. She made the mistake of backing away a few steps. Her magic must've had cooldown times as well. Giving her a breather was the last thing I should do. I set my spear and charged at her again.
While I bore down, she surprised me by remaining calm. For a purple Japanese girl who stood 5'4" and had delicate little wings, the resolve was impressive. This time she pressed her fingers together and built a block of ice in front of her. It started as a large cube but grew into a brick and then a slab as tall as her. She spread her hands and the ice elongated into a wall, six feet to either side. With me only seconds away combat was getting physical, so she'd built herself a shield.
Just when I thought I had everything figured out, she shot her palms forward and the entire glacier sped along the ground at me.
Perfect.
I planted the tip of my weapon into the dirt and triggered vault. Up and over I went. The massive sheet of ice fired past my raised feet. I swung the spear over my head, aligning it with my forward momentum and activating my upgraded deadshot. The blacksteel came crashing down on her head.
Combo!
Critical Hit!
You dealt 63 damage to [Izzy]
Izzy slammed backward in a reverse somersault and splayed out in the dirt. She spun to me, harried, and tried to cast something in defense. Frankly, I was impressed she was still alive.
I didn't hesitate. I drove the spear deep into her chest. She jerked and went rigid.
In a heartbeat, the crowd went quiet. The ice wall crunched and crumbled behind me. Amazed breaths filled the air. I looked the crowd over, stunned admiration in their eyes, and yanked my spear away. It was stuck.
Slowly, ice plastered over Izzy's face. It grew out from her eyes and her mouth and her pointed ears. From the open hole in her chest. The pixie's entire body solidified into a block of ice.
Weapon Caught!
Your spear is stuck. You cannot use it until it's dislodged.
No shit it was caught. I tugged at it but the frozen statue didn't move. I began to worry about not having received Izzy's death notification.
A cold dagger slipped into my back. I rolled away but it was too late.
Backstab!
Critical Hit!
Stun!
47 damage
Most of my health was shorn away. I tried to twirl on my feet but couldn't recover. The stun effect prevented my counter. I tumbled to the ground weaponless.
Izzy stood a few feet away holding a frost dagger, a sharpened wand with a blade of jagged teeth. For her part, she was nearly dead. At less than a quarter health. My initial strike had been true, but somehow she'd swapped herself for an ice double before the killing blow.
I was a more robust class than she was. Higher strength and agility and health. Even now, my 33 remaining health had to double what she had left. But the situation was nonetheless bleak. I had no weapon. I could barely move. Her strike had been a huge momentum swing.
The audience couldn't contain themselves. All manner of emotions erupted among them. Laughter, scorn, surprise, anger.
My opponent smiled cruelly. "Good show, but I think it's over."
A ball of cold energy coalesced between her fingers. It was bright and active, like electricity. This was Izzy's killing blow. She stepped between me and my embedded spear. I backed away on my hands and knees.
"Just be lucky I'm honoring you with a quick death," she said. Then the jolt of frosty energy fired at me.
I equipped the mirror shield and ducked behind it. The resultant boom bowled me over, but the shield did its thing. The ice-cold lightning bounced back at its caster. Izzy barely dove out of the way. Instead of hitting her, the projectile collided with her frozen double. The block of ice mushroomed into chunks. My spear fell away. I lunged forward and grabbed the handle, sweeping it wide to hit the mystic.
The steel caught the frost dagger and jarred it loose. At the end of my swing, I tried to bring the spear around again, but I was fully extended and off balance. Izzy jumped inside my defenses and tackled me. I fell back and she landed on me hard, hugging my hips with her legs. It would've been a pleasant sensation, too, if her hands hadn't been squeezing the life out of my throat.
I swung the spear, but it was too long to effectively counter a grappling opponent. Izzy pressed closer, leaning her stomach and chest into me, leveraging her full weight against my neck.
I dropped the spear and grabbed her waist. Her lithe body was forceful. This wasn't at all reminiscent of Jenna Jynx. I wasn't sure if it was her strength score or my poor angle, but I couldn't unlock the pin of her legs.
She grunted. "You're. Going. To. Die."
I believed her. My hands scrambled to her face. Indigo lips spread wide and she chomped down on my fingers. The bitch was ruthless. I drew back and pried at her hands.
Finally, my strength began to overpower hers. I loosened her grip just enough to breathe. Locked her wrists up. As I wiggled under her, I spotted the frost dagger several feet away. Out of reach, but not unattainable.
With a surprising heave, I shoved her sideways and rolled on top of her. We were still locked together, her legs wrapped tight, but I was on top now. In control. She tried to squirm out but I forced her back to the floor and pinned her shoulders. She squeezed my neck, but I stopped fighting her hands. I wasn't concerned with that anymore. She saw me reach for the knife and stiffened.
"Ow!" I screamed.
The freezing wand shocked my hand. I immediately dropped it as my breath left me. Luckily, Izzy had stopped choking me. One of her hands beat at my chest. Too late I noticed the other reach for the knife. She slipped it into my side, clean and smooth.
I coughed a spatter of blood on her face. She grinned viciously. Her left hand twisted the blade in my side and I couldn't hear the crowd anymore. Her right arm hooked around my neck and drew me down. I was still on top of her, but the position didn't feel nearly as dominant as it had a second ago. Izzy's indigo lips were inches from mine. Her legs were squeezing the life out of me.
Was it weird that I wanted to kiss her?
She noticed the inappropriate attraction. Here I was, a dagger plunged into my side, and I was embarrassed. It softened her face a little. But she didn't give me the kiss I wanted. Instead, she pulled my head down beside hers and whispered in my ear.
"I win, noob."
Izzy caught my earlobe between her teeth and bit down.
Gazing past her as the life flowed from my body, I focused on the stump of ice left behind from her double. It was large, planted to the floor—and most importantly—sharp. I focused on that jagged edge. Felt the caress of the crazy woman's tongue as she killed me.
"Sorry," I said.
I gripped her tight and triggered dash. I slid forward, dragging her back along the ground until the icy stump impaled her.
Izzy's eyes went wide. She arch
ed her chest into me and yelped. For the first time, the muscles in her legs slackened.
That was it for me. I collapsed into her, completely spent. As I died, her body rhythmically jerked beneath me.
You are dead!
I was whisked away in white and appeared outside the Arena entrance. I was suddenly fine. Full health, no red tinge to my vision. I rushed to the closed portcullis. Izzy lay on her back where I'd left her, coughing up blood. Then she stopped moving.
[Izzy] is dead!
Izzy disappeared as I had and the crowd watched listlessly.
The duel is a draw!
I grumbled, unsure what that bought me. My eyes darted to the portcullis at the other end of the stadium. Izzy's back disappeared into the darkness without a return glance. I stared after her as the audience applauded wildly. We'd given them a real crowd pleaser. Unfortunately, neither Izzy nor I were pleased with the results.
A chime signaled a new message in my inbox. I checked it with trepidation, knowing what my failure meant. I had two messages. The first was a user experience survey sent from Varnu Johnson. I deleted it and focused on the next message, sent from Izzy.
Talon,
Don't think your little show gained anything but another enemy. The duel may have officially been a draw, but you died first so everyone knows I beat you. Either way, without a clean win, I have no obligation to share Everchat.
Also, I'd watch my back in the wild. I'm not done nibbling on you.
- Izzy
0300 InFamous
Throngs of players filed out from the Arena. I waited for them to rush past me like a wave. Instead, a strange thing happened. Several congratulated me and patted me on the back. Others discussed the fight amongst themselves, excitedly miming the turning points. I was the freaking flavor of the minute.