Eeewwww!
But it didn’t seem to suspect that these were anything other than six ordinary, boring, stinky Starkley children, frozen in time.
‘It’s gone right past us,’ whispered Elliot through the corner of his mouth.
‘It’s not us it’s interested in,’ Hamish hissed back. ‘Look.’
The Terrible was sitting on the edge of the rollercoaster tracks now, facing the town. It was on its haunches, snuffling and grunting and scratching like a dog.
‘It’s looking at the clock,’ whispered Alice.
Her eyes widened as the Terrible pulled something out from deep within its cloak, and . . .
FVVVVAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!
Oh my goodness – this was the Bugler! It was warning the rest of the Terribles!
FVVVAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!
The power of the Bugle was enormous – the kids’ hair all blew to the front of their heads. Venk’s ears flapped in the wind.
Down below, hundreds of Terribles began to thunder away, leaving the town, some on their Requines, others billowing through Starkley on foot, their cloaks flapping behind them at speed.
They need to see the clock, thought Hamish, as the smallest brother of a cousin of a smell of a hint of a rumour of an idea began to form in his mind. One of them always needs to keep its eye on the clock.
Minutes later, after the Flash, and they’d watched each and every Terrible bound back to wherever they came from, Buster clicked ‘Go’ on his rollercoaster controller again, taking them back to the bottom of the ride.
Pale, sweaty and with wobbly legs, the PDF were so grateful to be back on solid ground.
‘Come on,’ said Buster, rather shaken. ‘I’ll drop you all off at home.’
The ride back into the heart of Starkley was silent. Each of the kids was wearing one of Clover’s fake moustaches so that anyone who spotted them might just think a strange family of tiny adults was taking a ride in an ice-cream van. Hamish stared out of the window. The Terribles hadn’t even been careful to leave things as they found them this time. Bins had been flipped over. Windows were chipped and cracked. A car had been spun onto its roof. There was rubbish all over the streets. A few unprocessed grown-ups stood around, pointing at them, noticing what had happened but unable to work out how. The PDF stayed low in their seats as they passed.
‘If the Terribles are getting this careless,’ said Alice, ‘that means they’re not as bothered about being found out.’
No one needed to point out that this was not a good sign. It could only mean that something big was on the cards. The Final Event was drawing closer. And there were only two Pauses to go.
Hamish jumped out at number thirteen Lovelock Close and waved the gang off.
It had been quite a night and all he wanted to do now was get inside, eat a hot meal and go straight to bed.
But, as he turned round, he noticed something unusual about his house.
All the lights were off.
He frowned.
‘Hello?’ he said, pushing open the front door. ‘Mum? Jimmy?’
He stood in the doorway and listened. There was no answer.
‘Jimmy . . . James!’ he shouted, now with a slight quiver in his voice. ‘Mum?’
He started to feel very uneasy indeed.
And as he walked into the living room and noticed the wide-open French doors, and the spilled cup of tea by the armchair, and the chocolate Mustn’tgrumbles scattered across the floor . . .
Hamish Ellerby realised the terrible, terrible truth.
Taken!
They had been taken.
Mum and Jimmy. Jimmy and Mum. Gone.
Hamish had checked every room twice, and then a third time, though his heart grew heavy as he realised it was pointless.
He’d watched the Terribles storm into Starkley. He’d seen with his own eyes as they undertook their dreadful mission. He’d even said, ‘They’re after someone’ as he sat there, in that rollercoaster carriage, trapped and powerless to do anything – not knowing they were after his own family.
What if this was revenge? Maybe the Terribles knew for sure he was a Pausewalker and were looking for him?
Hamish closed the French doors, locked them, tidied up the biscuits, put the spilled teacup on the drainer by the sink and sat down right in the middle of the sofa.
This was Jimmy’s seat. He never normally let Hamish sit here.
Well, that was one upside of this whole kidnapping business, he supposed. He could sit wherever he liked.
Hamish stayed there a moment more, then shifted guiltily to the left.
He checked his watch. It was really late, but he didn’t want to go to bed. And he didn’t want to sleep here.
He knew exactly where to go.
‘Taken?’ said Alice, shocked, closing her door behind her. ‘Oh, Hamish – I’m so sorry.’
Hamish noticed Alice had painted her whole house dark grey, except for the bannisters and door frames and ceilings and floors, which were all electric blue.
‘Your parents will go crazy when they see what you’ve done to your house!’ he said.
‘I don’t think home decor is at the top of their worries,’ she said.
‘Look – we need to do something,’ he said, because he’d made a decision on the long dark walk to Viola Road. ‘If we’re right and we only have two Pauses left . . . then we need to take the fight to the Terribles.’
He made an important face.
‘We need to be clever, Hamish,’ said Alice.
‘I spend my whole life trying to be clever,’ said Hamish, walking through to the kitchen and opening the fridge. There was just row after row of fishburgers. ‘I’m always trying to do the polite thing and the right thing and usually it gets me chased or beaten up or thrown in a bush with my watch stolen. Maybe for once I want to start the fight.’
‘So what’s your idea?’ she said, quietly, as he sniffed a fishburger and put it straight back. On the fridge were the usual signs of family life. Photos of Alice and her family. Drawings. A certificate that read ‘Starkley Under-12s 100-metre champion – Alice Shepherd’. A voucher for one per cent off their next pizza delivery order.
‘Well,’ he said, turning, ready to reveal his big idea. ‘I think I should let the Terribles kidnap me.’
Alice raised her eyebrows.
‘You should let the Terribles kidnap you,’ she repeated.
‘I should let the Terribles kidnap me, yes,’ he said.
‘And then what?’
‘Well, then they’ll take me to their lair. And that’s my plan.’
‘That’s your plan? That’s a terrible plan. What are you going to do when you’re in their lair?’
Hamish thought about it.
‘Fight them?’ he said.
‘Fight them. In their own lair, wherever that is? Just you? What are you going to do? Challenge them at Boggle?’
‘Well . . . I haven’t worked it all out yet. I’ve just got the essence of the plan. But I guess that’s when you all turn up in the ice-cream van.’
Alice just stared at him.
‘Except!’ he said, having a new idea. ‘Except Buster can do some cool modifications to the ice-cream van to make it a sort of battle ice-cream van.’
‘I see . . .’ said Alice, filling up a glass at the sink. ‘A battle ice-cream van.’
‘And . . . you know . . . you’ve brought a whole army of kids with you and that’s when we say, “Hey, Terribles – why are you such a massive bunch of berks?” And that’s when we take them out.’
Alice put a glass of squash down on the table for Hamish. He clearly needed one.
‘We take them out,’ she repeated. ‘What – for dinner and dancing?’
‘No – I mean, we DESTROY THEM!’ said Hamish, bringing his fist down on the table with a BANG that spilled a bit of his drink. ‘Oh, gosh, sorry about that. I’ll tidy it up.’
Alice stood and walked to the window.
‘I don’t think we can destroy them,’ she said, slowly. ‘I really don’t.’
Deep down, Hamish knew that she was right. He’d just been so full of anger and helplessness when he found Mum and Jimmy had gone that all he wanted to do was come up with something.
Anything.
Alice stood by the window, silently staring out into the darkness, while Hamish considered his situation.
First there was his dad. Hamish missed his dad. He missed him more than ever. And now that Mum and Jimmy had been taken, the only person he wanted to speak to was his dad. He’d know what to do. He’d have a plan. It would be a brilliant plan. An incredible one, full of action and bravery and intrigue and rescue. They’d wear matching T-shirts and be an amazing father-and-son team, swapping witty chit-chat as, together, they got Mum and Jimmy back. Of course they would.
But Dad was gone.
With the Terribles? Maybe.
Or maybe there was the thought that came to Hamish in the depths of the night. The thought he would always try to drive away and squish. The thought that maybe his dad was just in some other town, hanging out with some other little boy. Making another family laugh each night. Sitting down for dinner and ruffling his new kid’s hair. Playing Boggle with him at the kitchen table. Starting afresh, while Hamish’s life fell apart.
I mean – what was more likely? That, or world-stopping monsters?
He needed his dad, he knew he did. And with him not here, what amazing plan had Hamish come up with?
Get kidnapped and call the Terribles berks.
Oh, what was the point? What was the point in fighting? The Terribles were going to win. They always were. Might as well just stay home, like Robin and his family. Might as well just sit back and let it happen. Just let the next two Pauses happen and surrender.
‘You’ve given me an idea,’ said Alice, quite suddenly.
Action Stations
‘I don’t understand,’ said the small pudgy kid with cheeks like a hamster. ‘Can you explain the idea again?’
‘Okay,’ said Alice, putting her hands on her hips. ‘But this will literally be like the three-hundredth time.’
Hamish looked out into the clearing. He couldn’t believe it.
Yesterday there had been six of them.
This morning there were dozens.
At least twenty-five children, sitting cross-legged on the floor of the wood, outside Alice’s grandad’s shed.
‘I’ll go a bit slower this time . . .’ she said.
It was late morning the next day and Hamish, Alice, Buster, Elliot, Clover and Venk had been up for hours already.
This was not a day for school. This was a day for action.
Here is precisely what had happened.
At exactly 9.01 a.m. Buster had distracted Dr Fussbundler with his sore filling while Clover crept into the back office of The Tooth Hurts.
In there, she’d found Dr Fussbundler’s records – and now they had a list of every kid in Starkley who’d had a filling with that weird ZINOXYCLUMPTM stuff.
That meant they had a list of every potential Pausewalker in town.
At 9.04 a.m. that precious list was with the rest of the PDF.
And by 9.15 a.m. that morning Venk, Alice, Hamish, Clover, Elliot and a slightly sore Buster had split up and made sure Winterbourne and St Autumnal’s were completely covered.
‘Pssst!’ they’d say, from around a corner or behind some bins, whenever they spotted one of Dr Fussbundler’s patients. ‘Could we possibly have a quick word about the future of life on Earth?’
Now at 11.48 a.m. on an otherwise normal Thursday, every kid in Starkley who’d been ZINOXYCLUMPTM-ed was here.
They may not have looked like much – but Hamish could see something special: now they had an army.
There was Darcy and Lola, the twin girls who lived down the road from Clover. They’d been so pleased to discover there was an uprising planned.
Over there by the tree were Finch and Jude and Cody.
And there was Drake and Kit and Rufus, sitting attentively with Ed, Daisy, Mo and Poppy.
Hamish even saw Dexter, the kid in the stripy top they’d seen from high up on the rollercoaster the night before. He’d tried to talk to him, but Dexter remained completely silent, like a boy who’d seen a ghost. He was deathly pale and trembly to the touch, and tried his best simply to hide among everyone else.
Hamish and the PDF stood before these kids, wearing their overalls and some little sergeant patches that Elliot had ironed on to make them look like they were properly in charge. He’d also typed out his very own list of Frequently Asked Questions in a posh font and printed it out on little bits of yellow card, because he thought it might be handy.
He called it a PDFAQ.
~ Elliot’s PDFAQ ~
Look. What on Earth is going on?
Good question.
It seems we’re being invaded by Terribles who pause time and somehow we’re the world’s first line of defence.
What?
Yes. And tomorrow night is the night of the Final Event. A fearsome feeding frenzy that will destroy Starkley forever and mark the beginning of a global Terrible takeover!
Sounds awful. Where do these ‘Terribles’ come from?
Either the sea, space or France. At the moment, our best guess is space, but none of us has ever been to France, so who knows what goes on there?
Why have they chosen Starkley?
Because it’s so boring and hardly anyone comes here. That means no pesky outsiders and no one ever guessing that something like this could go on here. Plus, it’s handy for the sea and there’s a twenty-four hour minimart just down by the garage.
When do these fearsome beasts attack?
Look, all we know is they’re coming more often, and staying for longer. At first, they came under cover of darkness. Then at about suppertime. Now they’re so confident of victory they come day or night. See my graph for further information (diagram 1).
So there’s no logic to their appearances?
Why are you looking for logic? Space aliens are stopping the world so they can steal grown-ups, while a group of ten-year-olds with questionable dental hygiene motor about on vehicles they are not qualified to drive in order to hatch a plan to prevent the end of life on Earth as we know it!
Okay. Don’t get snarky.
I’m not getting snarky. I’m just saying.
Well, you sound a bit snarky to me.
Well, I’m very sorry, but the pressure is getting to me a bit.
Is that why you’ve started talking to yourself?
Quite possibly, yes, it is! Good point, Elliot!
Thank you, Elliot.
Okay, this has gone weird.
‘Where’s Buster?’ asked Hamish, scanning the crowd of Starkley kids.
‘He said he had to pick something up from town,’ said Alice. ‘But people want more details, Hamish. They’re scared.’
‘I’ll try and explain,’ said Hamish, stepping forward and taking a deep breath. All eyes were upon him. He cleared his throat.
‘Kids of Starkley,’ he said. ‘You may have grown up thinking that this was Britain’s Fourth Most Boring Town. But it is anything but. In fact, it is at the centre of the most exciting thing that has ever happened in the world ever. The WorldStoppers are upon us. They have sent the Terribles to take away the grown-ups and return them as mean. In less than forty-eight hours, their plan is to finish off Starkley and then start on the rest of the world. And only we can stop them.’
One lone hand shot up.
‘But how?’ said a girl with her hair in a plait. ‘There’s nothing about that in the FAQ!’
‘PDFAQ,’ corrected Elliot.
‘How are we going to get our parents back?’ she wailed. ‘How are we going to stop people being mean? We’re just kids!’
‘We’re not just kids,’ said Hamish. ‘We’re Pausewalkers.’
> A hubble-bubble of chitter-chatter broke out. There was fear in the air. What did this mean? What could they possibly do?
‘Alice has an idea,’ said Hamish, quietening everyone down. ‘There’s a Pause today, and she thinks there could be a way of beating these WorldStoppers once and for all and getting everything back to normal.’
He stepped back.
‘Alice?’ he said.
‘When there’s a Pause,’ she said, ‘humans stop, right?’
Everyone mumbled their agreement.
‘But the Terribles keep moving. And just when the Pause is nearly over, they all run away again. Why?’
‘Because they don’t want to be seen!’ shouted a kid who for some reason was dressed as a ninja.
‘Maybe,’ said Alice. ‘But why are they bothered about being seen? They’re so powerful. And most of the grown-ups have either been taken or they’re back and they’re mean. So maybe they’re running away for another reason.’
‘What reason?’ asked a gangly boy near the back.
‘Well – and this is just a guess – I think that when we move about, they stop still.’
The whole clearing fell silent as the assembled kids thought about what Alice had said.
‘What?’ shouted someone in the middle.
‘What if they have to abide by the same rules?’ she went on. ‘What if that’s why one of them watches the town clock, because if they’re still here in Starkley when the Pause finishes, they all just stop?’
Well, it was an idea all right. And what if it was true? Maybe that was why the Terribles all panicked and bounded away so quickly when the world was about to return to normal. They were scared of getting frozen! And if the kids could make all the Terribles freeze in time, well . . . they could do as Clover had said and call the police, or the army, or the mayor and say – look! Monsters! It’s true! Take them away!
‘This seems quite a risk,’ said Venk, chipping in. ‘But right now it’s the only idea that we have. And I, for one, am in.’
‘So who’s with us?’ asked Hamish, and for a moment no one moved.
But then slowly . . .
‘I’m in,’ yelled Finch, raising one clenched fist in the air.
Hamish and the WorldStoppers Page 13