Dr. Slater handed me the gym bag as she showed me into Dr. Cleveland’s office. She looked at me and must have seen the look of fear in my eyes.
“Take your time,” she said. “Today will be the hardest day, but it will get better after this. You’ll probably even have fun with it. I kind of wish I could get away with doing this myself. Just put your clothes in the bag and bring it back to my office when you’re ready.”
I forced a smile at her as she closed the door. As soon as she did, I collapsed into one of Dr. Cleveland’s guest chairs and tried to fight back the tears. I remembered my first trip to Coachella Valley University and how the tour guide had said that there were fifteen thousand students enrolled. I wondered how many faculty and staff could be added to that number. And all of them, all fifteen thousand plus, would soon have free visual access to my naked body. I knew I had just signed the contract, but how could I do this? I should just get up and walk out, withdraw from the university, and never look back. That was my only other option. But then I would have to explain to my parents how I had cheated on that history paper, stupidly thinking that the professor wouldn’t notice the similarities to Amanda’s. Surely, I remembered thinking, with all the students he had, he didn’t actually read all of our papers.
It’s only two months, I told myself. Once I got through those two months, I could accelerate my plans, take summer classes, and graduate early. The extra six credit hours I would get from this project would help. I figured that no one would want to hang out with the girl who had inexplicably run around naked for two months. But that didn’t matter. I didn’t need a social life after this. I was just going to get my degree and get out of here to go to law school. I could do it. It was just two months.
I took off my shoes. The sandals were still in the gym bag. I took them out and placed them on the floor in front of me before putting my flats into the bag. Taking a deep breath, I stood, unzipped my dress and let it fall to the floor. Just in bra and panties, I stepped out of the dress, picked it up, and folded it as well as I could. I put it into the gym bag on top of my shoes. Taking another deep breath, I pushed the straps of my bra down until my breasts were exposed. I turned the bra around so that the clasps were in front, unhooked them, and dropped the bra into the bag. The air blowing from A/C vent above me felt strangely stimulating on my nipples. I looked down and saw how hard they had become. I told my body to stop it. This was not supposed to be exciting or sexual. I pushed my panties down and stepped out of them. I crouched down to pick them up, put them in the bag, and zipped the bag closed. When I stood up, I realized that I was completely naked in the office of a professor I had never met. It felt strange and somewhat naughty. Other than that late night skinny dipping episode, the only places where I had been naked had been bathrooms and locker rooms. I looked around at the office, which was about half the size of Dr. Slater’s. There were family photos on the credenza behind Dr. Cleveland’s desk, and I wondered what he would think if he could see into his office right then.
I felt a chill in the core of my spine, and I wondered if it was from the cool air conditioning or from nervous excitement. I looked down at myself, glad that I had trimmed my pubic hair and glad that I hadn’t shaved it completely off. I was in a swimming for fitness class, and the way my one piece swimsuit was cut practically forced me to keep the hair trimmed. Running my fingers through my pubic hair helped to straighten it out and fluff it up after it had been pressed flat by my underwear. I almost had to laugh at the thought that I was combing my pubic hair so it would look good when I went out.
My legs looked as tan as my arms, but I could see the shape of my one piece on my white skin. At least I would be getting rid of the tan lines soon. I took a walk around the office, and my hands brushed against my bare thighs and hips. When I got back to the sandals, I slipped my feet into them. I had to bend over to tighten the Velcro straps. The soles were thick, but I could run in them if I had to. I don’t know why I thought of that. But I knew I was going to be very vulnerable when I left that office, and I guess being ready and able to run just sounded like a good idea.
Being naked and wearing footwear was another new sensation for me, and it felt unnatural. I took another walk around the office, feeling the weight of the sandals on my feet. My nerves were still frayed, and I kept telling myself that being naked in this office was all right, that I wasn’t going to get in any trouble for it. But I still felt wrong, somehow. It must be that “social conditioning” that Dr. Slater had mentioned, I told myself.
I took another look down at my thick thighs, my curly strip of dark brown pubic hair, the pasty white skin of my belly and breasts, and the shriveled and puckered brownish pink nipples and areolas. I pulled on my nipples, trying to stretch them out and make them less erect, but my touch only kept them stimulated.
“Shit,” I said out loud. Maybe, I hoped, getting out from under the air conditioning vent in this tiny office would help.
After grabbing the gym bag in my right hand, I turned the door knob with my left and inched it open. When I got it open wide enough to peek into the reception area, I was happy to see that the group of students had gone. The receptionist in the white blouse was at her desk talking on the phone. She was facing the glass outer doors of the Sociology Department offices. I cracked Dr. Cleveland’s door open a bit wider so that I could see those glass doors. Two people passed by in the hallway but didn’t look in at the receptionist.
Dr. Slater’s office was just out this door and a few paces to the right. I could quickly get over there without being seen. Why that concerned me, I don’t know. I guess part of me hoped that this was just a test to see how badly I wanted to stay in college and that once I had shown Dr. Slater that I was willing to strip naked, she would tell me I could get dressed and keep my scholarship. I knew that was crazy. She had obviously put a lot of work and money into this project. But then, this project was crazy.
Stop overanalyzing everything, I told myself. I took a deep breath, gathering my resolve, and dashed on tip toes over to Dr. Slater’s office. As I slipped inside, I kept my gaze on the receptionist and on those glass doors, making sure that no one saw me before I could get Dr. Slater’s door closed. I turned around to see if Dr. Slater was at her desk and gasped. The students who had been out in the reception lobby were now gathered in Dr. Slater’s office! I instinctively covered my breasts with my free arm and moved the gym bag over my crotch. I must have had that deer-in-the-headlights wide eyed look, because Dr. Slater rushed to me.
“It’s all right, Danielle,” she said in a soothing voice. She stood in front of me, blocking the others’ view of my body. “It’s OK, really. I know this is difficult, but it will get easier. I thought meeting the team would help put you at ease.”
“The team?” I said.
“Yes, the research assistants. They’re all graduate students in the department.”
“Oh,” I said, remembering our conversation. Taking a deep breath, I said, “OK.”
“Wonderful!” Dr. Slater stepped aside, showing me to the group. “All right team. This is Danielle Keaton.” She turned to me and asked, “Do you go by Danielle?”
“Most people call me Dani,” I said, my voice soft and almost cracking.
Dr. Slater turned back to the team. “You can call her Dani. She has bravely volunteered to be our test subject, and we all owe her our gratitude. Dani, this is Ginger, Linda, Emma, Greg, Cindy, and Jeremy,” she said, pointing at each person.
The only name that really registered was Greg, the handsome sandy-haired guy I had seen talking to the receptionist. He smiled and gave me a little wave when Dr. Slater said his name, his dimples becoming pronounced with that smile. I would have blushed if I hadn’t already been blushing from the embarrassment of being naked in a room full of people. As Dr. Slater continued with the introductions, I forced myself to lower my arm, revealing my breasts to everyone. I was happy to see that my nipples were not as erect as they had been. Greg’s expression didn’t app
ear to change when my breasts were revealed, and I felt a twinge of disappointment, although I don’t know what I was hoping for from him.
“Now,” Dr. Slater said when she had finished the introductions, “let’s have a look at you.”
She held her hand out, and I automatically passed the gym bag to her. I stood with my feet close together, my thighs touching. But everyone could still see my pubic hair, and I fought the urge to cover myself with my hands.
“Dani, you are beautiful,” Dr. Slater said. She turned to the team. “Don’t you all think so?”
I heard a bunch of yes’s, and I saw some of them nod. But Greg just looked, his mouth slowly turning up into a smile when he saw that I was looking at him and no one else. I must have turned fifty shades of red.
“Greg, how is the microphone working?” Dr. Slater asked.
Greg put his hand to his ear, looked at me, and said, “Say something.”
“Uh,” I stammered. “Something?”
Greg gave Dr. Slater a thumbs up.
“Wonderful! All right. Dani, your first class is at 11:00, correct?”
“Yes,” I said, trying to think. “British lit.”
“OK. It’s 9:30 now. What we’ll do is have you go back to your dorm room so you can start packing your clothes. Greg here has first shift, so he will trail behind you. He’ll stay in the dorm lobby, but he’ll be able to hear everything. This first day is very important to the study. We need to register the shock that most people will feel and see how they respond to it. Ginger will meet you at your room around 10:15 or so to pick up your suitcase or trunk or whatever you brought your clothes in.”
“It’s just a suitcase,” I said. I hadn’t brought many clothes to college, especially since I didn’t need any winter wear in the Valley.
“Good,” one of the girls, Ginger I assume, said.
“That should give you plenty of time to get to class,” Dr. Slater continued. “Sound good?”
I shrugged and said, “I guess.”
Dr. Slater put her hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry. You’ll do fine.”
“Should I respond to anyone if they…,” I started to ask, but I paused to try to find the right words, “well, if I hear any rude comments?”
“That’s entirely up to you,” Dr. Slater said. “Just be yourself and do whatever comes naturally. People will respond how they respond. It’s all part of the study.”
“OK,” I said.
We all stood there looking at each other for what seemed like a long and uncomfortable time. Dr. Slater finally grabbed my purse from the chair where I had left it and handed it to me. She was almost bubbling with excitement.
“All right,” she said as I took my purse.
Dr. Slater leaned past me and opened her office door. I turned and faced the outer office. The receptionist in the white blouse looked up at us and smiled. Remembering her smirks just after my arrival, I wondered if she was suppressing a laugh at me. I felt ridiculous in my sandals and nothing else.
“Now, you have a wonderful day Dani,” Dr. Slater said.
“Thank you,” I muttered.
I was really doing this. I was really going to walk out of this office and all the way back to my dorm completely naked. I couldn’t believe it, but I stepped forward anyway. The receptionist gazed at me for just a second before looking back at her computer screen.
“Have a wonderful day, Miss Keaton,” she said as I passed by her desk.
“Thanks. You too,” I replied automatically.
I stopped at the glass doors and looked back at Dr. Slater’s office. She was still standing there watching me, with Greg at her side. The rest of the team was behind them, trying to see around. Feeling like a circus attraction, I pushed the glass door open, poked my head out, and looked up and down the corridor.
Chapter Three: Coming Out
I don’t know why I checked the hall first before leaving the Department of Sociology office. I knew I was going to be seen going back to the dorm, but I was still dreading that first time someone saw me. It had been strange standing naked in front of Dr. Slater, the team of RA’s, and the receptionist, but I knew that they were all in on this project. What I dreaded was that first look from someone outside of the sociology department.
The corridor was empty, so I scurried across to the top of the stairwell and then down to the landing where the stairs turned and went the rest of the way down to the first floor. The stairs emptied right in front of the main entrance of Carlisle Hall. I looked back up the stairs and saw Greg standing at the top, He was now wearing a green backpack. He nodded and winked at me, mouthing the words, “It’ll be all right.”
I looked back down the stairs and saw the feet of two people walking past and then turning toward the front doors of the building. I felt the flutters in my belly when I realized that they just as well could have turned and come up the stairs. Oh, what the hell was I doing? I felt like I was hyperventilating and wondered if I should run back up to Dr. Slater’s office and ask for a paper bag. Greg was still at the top of the stairs, waiting patiently. His gaze made me feel like covering up, but I also found it stimulating at the same time. He was so handsome and well built, and he was looking at everything I had. I’m sure he had watched my big ass as I scurried down the stairs. That Sir Mix-a-Lot song came to mind, and I wondered if he was one of the guys who liked big butts and cannot lie. I hoped he was and then thought myself silly for even wondering about it. He was a grad student, working on a masters or a doctorate, and I was some college sophomore who had been caught cheating and now had to run around naked like a lab rat in some experiment.
The lobby at the bottom of the stairs looked empty now, although I could only see a small part of it from the landing on the stairs. I knew I had to stop distracting myself with thoughts of Greg and get on with walking to my dorm. I took a slow, deep breath, trying to get my nerves and my body under control. My nipples were still hard, and I couldn’t help but feel aroused, feeling the air circulation hitting every part of my body. I took one step down, then two, then three and four. The lobby still looked empty, but it was a big lobby, sitting directly under the sociology department offices. My next step down allowed me to see all the way to the building’s main doors. No one was in sight. I breathed a sigh of relief, although I realized I was being silly because there was no way I was going to be able to get across campus without being seen by someone.
I bounded down the rest of the stairs, my breasts bouncing almost obscenely, and I realized that I couldn’t run or even walk fast without making a spectacle of myself. I laughed, realizing that, naked, I was already a spectacle. The double doors of the large lecture hall to my right, which seated at least a hundred students, burst open just as I was stepping away from the stairwell. My stomach seemed to jump up into my throat. I stopped like a deer in the headlights and thought I should rush back to the stairs. But I knew that many of the students leaving that hall would be heading upstairs. And where would I go then? I couldn’t run back to Dr. Slater’s office.
“Holy shit!” I heard a male voice say.
People coming out of the lecture hall stopped in their tracks and almost got run over by students behind them. My knees felt weak as I continued to make my way across the lobby.
“What the hell?” someone else asked.
I could almost feel their gaze on my naked buttocks as I walked to the exit doors. My head was down, my eyes on the floor in front of me. I tried not to look at the people looking at me as they continued to file out of the huge lecture hall. The flesh of my butt jiggled with each step. How could I let all of those people see me like this? How could I be naked and so out in the open? I wanted to run, but I remembered how my breasts had bounced on the stairs. I had to walk at a normal pace. This was going to be my life for the next two months, I realized, and I wondered how I would be able to stand it. I was naked! No one, especially anyone male, was supposed to see me naked like this.
“Hey!” someone called to me, but I
kept going, pushing the door open and walking out into the warm desert sunshine.
As unnatural as I felt being naked and in sandals, I felt even more unnatural outside. I paused for just a moment, wondering how long it would be before I started hearing the reactions of people on the Commons. When I heard the doors behind me open, I started walking. My purse was in my right hand, clutched against my belly. I was afraid to put the shoulder strap on since I didn’t know if it was under the maximum width in the contract, whatever that had been; I couldn’t remember right then. I lowered the purse and put both hands on it so that I was holding it over my crotch, trying to hide my pubic region from view. I knew I couldn’t hide everything, breasts and butt especially, but I had to at least hide the most intimate part of myself. It was awkward to walk with both hands on the purse so I let my left arm drop and swing naturally.
“Hey,” a voice next to me said as a girl I had never met rushed to walk beside me. “Are you OK?”
“I’m fine,” I said.
“You know you’re naked, right?”
I wasn’t in the mood for a conversation. I just wanted to get to the safety of my dorm room. “Is it that obvious?” I snipped.
“Yeah, kind of.”
I walked another few steps, fighting the urge to break out into a run. The girl stayed with me.
“Why?” she asked.
I looked at her, slowing as I did, and then turned my head even further to see a group of guys, and even a few girls, following us. I could see three of them with phones out taking photos or videos. Shit, I thought, already?
“It’s an experiment,” I said. “I just read that it’s perfectly legal to walk across campus naked, so I thought I would put that to the test.”
People walking on the Commons were noticing me now. Several of them had stopped walking and just stood looking at me with their mouths hanging open. I’ve never liked being the center of attention, and I usually dressed and acted in such a way that I was never noticed by a crowd. Now, everyone was looking at me simply because I was naked. It made me feel lower than everyone else somehow, and the only word I could think of to describe it was humiliation. And yet, seeing those shocked expressions, especially on the guys, made me feel quivers that started in my nipples and travelled through the core of my being down into my belly and beyond. What the hell was wrong with me? This should be the most embarrassing thing anyone could ever experience, but I was feeling some kind of electric charge from it.
The Volunteer Page 3