Dropping the towel, she went over to their nightstand, grabbed a condom, and then walked over to him with her shoulders back and her head held high. “This changes nothing,” she said as she got within arm’s length of him.
“Never does.” He grinned, grasping her around the waist and pulling her body towards his.
To prevent herself from stumbling, she circled her arms around his neck and held on tightly. When one of his hands went from her waist to her jaw, she tilted her cheek into the caress. “Cash.”
“Shhh…”
His mouth claimed hers in a way she had never felt before. It had, at times, felt forceful with him, but never in an out-of-control way. Their noses mashed together, and she felt him inhale deeply as his tongue owned her, his mouth devoured her. He stumbled backwards, landing on the table they had out there to sit at. She moaned, not sure it would hold their weight. “This table will break with the both of us.” She giggled.
He laughed along with her, the sound deep in his throat as he picked her up by the thighs and walked them over to the outside wall of the apartment.
“We should go inside,” she told him as she tilted her head back, allowing him access to her neck. He licked and sucked before biting with his teeth, burying his head there under her chin.
“Too far.”
Who was she to argue when she agreed?
*
Cash knew he was going to use her, and he knew he was going to use her hard, but he hadn’t been kidding when he said they could fuck it out. He was pissed. Pissed that she’d put herself in that situation and pissed that he hadn’t been there to help her before it had become physical.
It was easier to take his frustration out this way than it was to talk it out. Sure, they would have to talk at some point—sex didn’t solve everything—but he was still too raw. Over the past few days he had been asked to let in emotions he hadn’t felt in a long time. He’d had to swallow his pride and ask for help. None of that was easy on him, and now he needed to release that tension. If he couldn’t do it behind the wheel of a car, then he’d do it with her.
He groaned when he felt her legs lock around his waist and her heels dig into his lower back. He pressed her against the wall, using his chest to keep her still while he used his hands to push his sweat pants and boxer briefs down. Putting the condom in his mouth, he ripped into the wrapper before sheathing his already hard cock. He wasn’t about finesse or foreplay tonight.
“I’m gonna fuck you, Harper. Nothin’ sweet tonight.”
She nodded, pushing herself towards him. “I want you to.”
Cash captured her mouth as he thrust into her, swallowing her moans of pleasure. He withdrew and sank back in, withdrew and sank back in, setting a rhythm for the two of them that was punishing. He pressed his chest against hers, loving the feeling of his nipple rings catching against her flesh, pulling them tauter as they slid against one another.
“Fuck,” he groaned into her mouth before yanking their lips apart. “The feeling you give me when I slide my hard dick into this sweet pussy is out of this world. I can’t even describe it to you. The way it tries to suck me back in as I retreat—shit, Harper, there’s never been anybody else who’s wanted me as much as you do.”
Cash knew he had to shut his mouth, he had to stop talking, because if he didn’t, he was going to tell her everything he constantly tried to keep hidden. He would tell her how most women used him because he ran the Trail, how most women just wanted to say they’d been with Cash Montgomery, how most women didn’t even get off with him. They faked it and then went back to their friends with the best tale they could come up with.
Not Harper. Harper enjoyed the process, she lived in the moment. He could tell with her by the way she got wetter, by the way she threw herself into it, by the way, even though she bit her lower lip, those little moans still came out of her mouth.
“I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you.” She breathed loudly against his chest, burying her head in his neck. “Nobody has ever given it to me like you do.”
He wasn’t sure what she meant by giving it to her. His heart? His life? His cock? He knew they weren’t playing house anymore; he knew they had crossed a line of seriousness that neither one of them had meant to cross, but God help him, he didn’t want to ruin this with too much introspection.
“Yeah, darlin’.” He reached down, licking a taut nipple with the tip of his tongue. “I do know how to give it to you. Don’t I?”
She didn’t answer, and he reached up, grasping her hair in his fist. “Don’t I?”
“Yes,” she breathed out on a long, drawn-out breath.
“Are you gonna come for me?” He pushed up against her, pulling her hair a little harder.
She nodded, keeping that bottom lip sucked in.
“Can you keep quiet, baby?”
She shook her head. “No, no I can’t. God no.”
He cut her off with a palm over mouth as she convulsed against him, riding out her climax. She gripped him so hard that he let go of his control, filling the tip of the condom, coming more when she bit into the palm of his hand.
When it was over the two of remained there, Cash standing with Harper’s legs wrapped around his waist. They breathed heavily, both because of the workout they’d just had and because neither one of them was sure where to go from here.
‡
Chapter Fourteen
Cash was dreaming, or he assumed he was dreaming as he heard muffled moans and what sounded like a muted scream. As he fought his way into consciousness, he realized the person screaming and moaning was Harper.
“No, please, leave me alone,” she said as her head thrashed on the pillow. “Please let me go! What have you done? Why?”
He could see sweat pouring down her brow; he could hear the terror in her voice. The way her hands were at her sides, her fists up, making a motion like someone was holding her wrists made him see red. Was this because of what George had done to her? Had he caused a flashback of something bad that had happened earlier in her life? He wanted to know all her secrets.
Cash leaned over and spoke softly into her ear. “Harper, it’s me. Calm down.”
She thrashed harder, forcing him to do the one thing he didn’t want to do—grab her wrists. When he did, she shot up like she had been electrocuted.
“Hey, hey, it’s me. You’re okay.” He pulled her into his arms, pushing her hair back from her face. He was careful to speak slowly and softly, wanting her to know she was safe with him. He would never, even in anger, do anything to harm her.
She heaved against him, not saying anything as he tried to calm her down.
*
Having dreams about the day that sent her father to prison wasn’t her favorite thing in the world, and it had been happening less and less since she’d come to live with Cash. He gave her a sense of protection she’d never had before. Perhaps it was false, but she still let herself be lulled by it. It was nice to let her defenses down.
“You wanna talk about it?” he asked as he cradled her head with his bicep and used his hand to brush against the wetness on her check.
His tender touch was almost her undoing. He wasn’t tender for the most part. Cash was a hard guy who knew what he wanted and took it, damn the consequences. For him to be showing her another side of himself, when she knew she held things back, killed her. But she wasn’t ready to talk about it. She wasn’t even sure she could put her past into words. Dealing with her past also meant that he would have to deal with it. They were going through so much right now that she wasn’t sure the strain of something else wouldn’t break them. There was only so much their relationship could take.
“No.” She swallowed and wiped at her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it. I’m going to go get something to drink,” she whispered.
She could feel his eyes on her as she got up and put on some clothes just in case Remy happened to be up and quietly made her way out of the bedroom. She could literally feel the
questions in the air. It was like a weight hanging over her.
Stepping into the kitchen, she walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, opening it. As she took a drink, she leaned back against the cabinets and let her head fall back and her eyes fall closed.
“What the fuck am I going to do?” she asked. Who, she wasn’t sure. Maybe God, or herself, but she wanted someone to answer the question for her.
The voice came from the darkness softly. “Let me in.”
What a departure this was from how they began. Months ago, she wouldn’t have thought he would be the one begging to know her innermost secrets. She would have bet money that it would be the other way around.
“I don’t know if I can,” she admitted. She didn’t want him to pity her, and a selfish part of her wondered what would happen if he found out and decided they could no longer be together since her past might affect Remy’s case.
“I’ve been honest with you, Harper. When are you going to trust me?”
That was the million-dollar question. She didn’t trust easily, yet she trusted him enough to move in with him, sleep with him, and share her life with him. Still, she felt she couldn’t share her secrets. It was a hell of a situation she found herself in, and one she wasn’t sure she could find her way out of.
“I do, Cash.” She walked over and put her arms around his waist.
“No you don’t, not fully. If you did, you’d tell me what this is all about.”
There was a part of her that wanted to hit back at him, accuse him of not being completely honest with her, but she could think of nothing he had lied about. “I will, but you have to give me time.”
“I’ll wait, because I know you’re worth waiting for, but I can’t wait forever.”
She watched as he turned around and went back to the bedroom. Once again, her heart sank. There was no way he could wait forever, because after her confrontation with George, she had a feeling all of this was about to ramp up. They were going to come out with guns blazing, and they weren’t going to stop until every person in the apartment was hurt in some way.
It broke her heart that Remy would be the one to suffer. More than anything, she wanted to hide him away from all the evil things in the world.
All of a sudden, she had to make sure he was okay. Walking quietly down the hallway, she opened his door and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw him sleeping soundly. He slept the sleep of the young—deep and without a care in the world. Harper knew without a doubt she would do anything to protect him, even if it meant facing her fears head-on. She just wondered how long she could hold them at bay.
‡
Chapter Fifteen
School just wasn’t doing it for him today. Not that this day was any different than any other day, but the weekend had put Cash in a foul mood. Seeing George, having Harper shut him out—it had all culminated in a shittastic Monday morning.
“Cash, where is your assignment?”
He met the unwavering eyes of his English teacher, Professor Kingsman. General Ed really sucked the life out of somebody, he decided as he thought about how he could get out of this. Flashing her a grin, he winked.
“Sometimes, the weekends are too busy. Ya know, so many things and people to do.”
That line had gotten him out of more things than he cared to admit, and she was young. Older than he normally flirted with, but she couldn’t be over thirty-one.
“That doesn’t impress me.” Her face held a firm line that he had hoped would turn up at the sides.
Well shit.
“I’ll see you after class. This is the third assignment in three weeks you haven’t done.”
Just like that, the black cloud hanging over him got even darker. As he sat through the rest of the class, his mood grew worse and worse. There was a point when he thought he might not stay for the meeting, but there was another part of him that knew he had to act responsibly. It was up to him to show Remy the things he could do, that life could change if you were willing to put forth the effort.
As the class filed out, Cash remained in his seat, waiting until Professor Kingsman came and stood in front of him.
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on, Cash? For a while, I saw a lot of potential in you, and then, with a snap of my fingers, it was gone. What happened?”
Did he blow her mind and tell her? He was sick of keeping all this shit inside his head.
“You really wanna know what happened? Earlier in the school year, my mom relapsed on drugs, I took custody of my ten-year-old brother, Harper and I moved in together to care for him, my mom and his dad have since sued me for custody of my brother, and over the weekend his dad assaulted Harper. Is that enough for you?” He was breathing heavily as he finished hitting every point he’d been through in the past few months.
He watched as she opened her mouth and then closed it.
“You’ll have to forgive me if finishing your English assignment wasn’t first on my list.”
“I’m sorry that you’re having a rough time, Cash, but I hope you understand that overcoming the adversity of the situations you’re put in is what makes you a man. The fact that you’ve stepped up and taken care of your brother says a lot about your personality. It says a tremendous amount about what kind of man you are.” She crossed her legs and turned to him so that they faced one another. “Now is the time to prove to the world that you are a responsible adult in all ways. Get this degree, hold it in their faces, and tell them to kiss your ass.”
Cash laughed as he heard the curse word. “It’s not that easy.”
“It is, Cash. You have to decide if it’s what you want or not. I’ll give you a week to make up these three assignments. After that, no more favors. Show not only the courts, but your brother, that you can do anything you set your mind to.”
He didn’t want to make a promise he couldn’t keep. “I’ll do my best, and that’s all I can say. My best will have to be good enough.”
It hung in the air that the both of them knew that sometimes the best wasn’t always good enough.
*
Harper stood outside the closed classroom door waiting on Cash. She’d seen the rest of the class leave and then the door shut with him still inside. It gave her unexplained anxiety that they were closed off from one another. This almost mirrored what she had been doing to him since Saturday night.
Her phone rang, and again she saw the name of her aunt Cara. Against her better judgement, she answered.
“Hello?”
“It’s about time you answered one of my phone calls. I’ve been trying to get hold of you to tell you that your dad is home.”
Harper sighed deeply. Why couldn’t this woman understand that she didn’t care? She wanted nothing to do with her dad, and she just wanted to live her life. “Great, I hope you threw him a party.”
“I wanted to, but I knew you wouldn’t come. Don’t you think it’s time you forgive? He’s a changed man.”
“Stop preaching to me. How can I forgive a man who brought me to the scene of a murder and then used me as a bargaining chip for the cops?”
She swiped the screen of the phone with more force than necessary as she hung up. When she did, she noticed Cash standing not far away, his eyebrows together in question. Not wanting to go there, she plastered a smile on her face.
“Hey, are you ready?” They had carpooled again, trying to save on gas money.
“Who were you talking to?” He nodded towards the phone.
His tone hadn’t been accusatory, but she’d almost taken it that way. Her guilt was beginning to make her see things that weren’t there.
“Nobody important.” She sighed deeply. “Let’s get out of here.”
‡
Chapter Sixteen
Harper watched as Cash got ready to get in his car to make another trip down the Trail. The initial money they had given to the attorney was going to be used up soon. Three weeks of tracking down every lead they could find about Cash and Remy’s
respective childhoods had been costly. She had a feeling the firm was also digging into her background. It wasn’t anything anyone had said to her, but it was the way Cash had questioned her after talking to her aunt, it was in the way the attorney had looked at them at their last meeting, and it was in the way she herself felt. Things were coming to a head, and she knew she would have to face this head-on. There would be no shying away.
“Are you going to be sittin’ over there with Nat?” he asked as he came over to where she stood.
“Yeah, we’ll be waiting on you whenever you get done.” She smiled up at him. She had taken the time to do her makeup and her hair, wanting things to feel normal, even when she didn’t. She missed it just being the two of them and worrying about where they could sneak off to next.
It had been too serious between the two of them lately, so he smiled and put his arms around her waist. “You mean whenever I win?”
“Stop being cocky.” She grinned back at him, smacking him on the shoulder. This was the Cash and Harper she liked, the ones who didn’t have a ton of worries pressed down upon them. She wasn’t sure if they were ever going to be this way for longer than a few stolen moments at a time. Even that worried her.
“I can back it up, babe. I’m not cocky.”
She leaned in and kissed him. “Be safe out there, and bring home the dough.”
“I will be, and I have to—we meet with the attorney tomorrow,” he reminded her. Just like that, the playfulness was gone for both of them. Real life reared its ugly head, and they were reminded they both had a tremendous responsibility.
She didn’t need the reminding, just the thought of that sent a shiver down her spine. “I’ll see ya when you get done.”
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