Deepest Desire

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Deepest Desire Page 45

by Weston Parker

“I want you. With me. In the syndicate. Make it happen, Nate.”

  “I’ll think about it.” I dropped back on the couch and tried to ignore the deep laughter that resounded from the open hallway as he walked out and left me standing in a cold sweat. I was a cold-blooded killer, but the syndicate required the pledge of forever. I wasn’t sure I could go there.

  "Is he gone?" Mikey sat up, his eyes wide.

  "Yes, you pussy. Get up here and let's figure this out."

  "Why in the world would he be willing to help you?"

  "He still cares about me, man. I care about him too. Just cause I didn't sign on the dotted line for his syndicate doesn't mean all the shit we went through doesn't matter. That's why he was here. Jenna must have told him that she was going to kill Ashley. He's not going to let her take on that burden."

  "Hey... Maybe..." Mikey walked to the door, peered out into the hall and closed the door quickly like something was after him.

  I snorted and rolled my eyes as he walked toward the chair and dropped down into it.

  "What, Mikey? Speak up. Shit." I got up and walked to the kitchen. I needed something much stronger than beer. Something like a glass of bourbon from Jenna's dad's liquor cabinet.

  "Maybe if Jenna killed Ashley, and she knows that somehow Ash matters to you, the two of you will be even."

  I glanced over my shoulder before opening the fridge. "That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard in my life, man. Two wrongs don't make a right."

  "No? I think they might in this situation. Just think about it for a minute. You never tell her you were involved in Darek's murder."

  "Cause I wasn't." I grabbed a beer from the fridge and chucked it at him before grabbing mine and popping the top.

  "Yeah, you were. You gave Ashley the Zandra. You knew what she was doing with it. You planned and plotted the shit out."

  I choked on the beer, spitting some of it out. "Well, fuck, Mikey. I'd almost convinced myself I was clean on this one."

  "You're taking half the money, asshole."

  "I was considering not taking it. It's kinda like stealing from Jenna's dad. I like the old guy." I grabbed a napkin and bent over to clean up the floor. "I'm just going to come clean with her tonight. I need her to know that I love her, Mikey. That she's the woman I'd change everything for."

  "And you think she's just going to drop her panties and offer you forever after a night of fucking? You killed her brother."

  I glanced up. "Stop saying that shit. I did not."

  "You did." He laughed and turned to walk back to the living room. "Tell me what kind of person could hear the full story and not think that you're the villain."

  "I hate you sometimes," I called after him and finished cleaning the floor.

  "Listen to me, Nate. Don't tell her anything. She'll kill Ashley, and you need to mourn like crazy. Let her be the villain, man."

  "You're stupid." I walked into the living room.

  "Could you forgive her for killing your best friend?"

  "Ashley?"

  "Yes. Could you forgive Jenna for killing Ash?"

  "Yeah. I'm thinking about killing her myself. Shit. Keep up here, man."

  "You keep up. Make her the villain. You forgive her and what? She lives her life trying to make it up to you." He snorted. "It's genius, really."

  I sat down and digested Mikey's suggestion. It was brilliant, and if nothing else, it would save me the day she found out that I had a hand in Darek's death. A small one, but a hand nevertheless.

  "I'm not taking the money. I can't." I lifted my beer to my lips. "I don't want evidence that I did anything that would hurt her. I want her to be my wife one day, man."

  "Good. Then stick to the plan."

  "No. Go find Erik. Tell him to kill Ash for me, but not to let Jenna do it. Tell him my answer is yes."

  “Fuck, that was fast. You sure about this?” Mikey got up and sighed.

  “Yeah. Do it before I change my fucking mind.”

  "Dude, you know I hate that guy." Mikey stalled for a minute.

  "Shut the fuck up and do what I told you to. You owe me. I already took a bullet for your ass today." I reached up and wiped at my ear as I winced.

  "I almost shit myself when that gun went off."

  "Out. Now." I closed my eyes and sunk back into the couch. Jenna would be rattled. I needed to remind her that I wasn't the guy she might start believing me to be thanks to Ash. I was her lover, her man, her future.

  Chapter 24

  Jenna

  I spent most of the night digging through my brother's files. Three pots of coffee later, the sun was up and I was beside myself. Denise was involved in every part of it.

  She'd gotten my brother to try out the drug a few weeks prior and gave him a night to remember while they were both on it. I understood that all too well. Was it a coincidence that Nate had given me the same kind of night?

  "I need to just ask him." I closed the laptop and sat back. Denise, or whatever the fuck her name was, had set my brother up to take two pills before she left and made him promise to take one an hour later. As fast as the fucking things worked, I was surprised that she left him at all.

  "She needed an alibi." I stood and walked to the bathroom to wash the waves of dried tears off my face. I had class at ten and then work. I wasn't planning on missing either. I needed normalcy. Sam would be upset seeing that I had dark circles running under my eyes, but he could get over it.

  I finished trying to put myself together and walked through the late September morning toward the campus. It would have been a lot faster to drive, but I had time, and I needed the serenity of the outdoors.

  Nate and I had to come clean with each other. He knew Denise. I knew he did. Why would Erik not tell me how? Did he know her too?

  "Now you're just being stupid." I turned toward the campus and forced myself to stop thinking for the remainder of the walk. Everything would work out, and justice would be served. I just wasn't sure if it was going to be my hand doing it, Erik's or my father's.

  ***

  "Are you on the schedule today?" Sam's smile was wide, teasing.

  "I'm always on the schedule." I made my way behind the counter and tucked my purse under the safe. "I love this place. Remember?"

  "I do." Sam pulled something from his back pocket. "Here's this. Some guy stopped by an hour ago and said to make sure you got it."

  I took it from him and nodded. "Did he leave his name?"

  "No. But I've never seen him before." He shrugged and moved up to the counter as a young girl asked for a cup of water.

  "Thanks," I mumbled and grabbed a rag to wipe down tables. I stopped by the first table and lifted the picture to my face. A large group of teenagers huddled together with big smiles on their faces. It took me a minute to recognize any of them.

  Erik.

  Denise.

  Mikey.

  Nathaniel.

  Several more were in the picture, but my eyes continued to run over each of them. So they all knew each other. I glanced up and scanned the restaurant, finding nothing out of place.

  What the fuck was going on? Was Erik really willing to help me? To kill a woman he obviously knew?

  I let my eyes scan the picture again, picking up small details that told more of the story. Erik's arm around Nate's shoulders and the two of them laughing together. Denise's head in Nate's lap, her tongue out with a sexy look on her pretty face. Mikey had his fingers on the sides of his mouth, stretching it out, his eyes crossed.

  The bell dinged on the front door, and I jumped and let out a soft yelp. My eyes met Nate's and he paused as if caught in the act.

  "You all right?"

  I nodded and tucked the picture in my back pocket. "Yeah. Of course. How are you?"

  He moved toward me slowly, and I couldn't help but notice his ear was hurt. "I'm good. I miss you."

  "You haven't seen me for a day." I reached for him and pulled him into a quick kiss. "I'm on the clock."

  "Then c
lock out." He kissed me again and slid his hands down my hips, pulling me in tightly. "I need to talk to you about some stuff."

  I glanced back at Sam. He nodded. "Get out of here. Come back tomorrow?"

  "Sure." I pulled my apron off as the picture fluttered from my pocket and dropped to the floor. I dove for it but wasn't quick enough.

  Nate snatched it up and glanced down, his beautiful eyes moving slowly across the faces. "I remember this well. I was seventeen and it was the day before we all stopped talking to each other."

  "Someone dropped it off earlier." I tossed my apron toward the laundry basket as I walked around the counter to grab my bag. I glanced over at Sam. "What did the guy that dropped it off look like?"

  "Dark hair, beanie, mean looking. Thug?" Sam smiled and reached out to grab my arm. "Be careful, okay? I don't know who he was, but I don't like the feeling I got from him."

  "I will." I squeezed Sam's hand and moved back to stand in front of Nate. "You know this girl?" I brushed my finger over Denise's face.

  Nate glanced up and studied my face, but didn't say anything for a minute. "You jealous cause her head’s in my lap?"

  "Should I be?" I tugged the picture from his fingers as my heart raced. What game was he playing with me? Was he as innocent as he appeared to be? Surely not.

  "No. She's a whore." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and moved us toward the exit. "She had her head in everyone's lap. Married some rich guy last I heard." He leaned down and kissed the side of my head. "You wanna tell me why Erik Bertinelli stopped by to see you? He's a dangerous man, Jenna."

  I stopped and turned to face him. "No, I don't."

  He nodded. "All right. Can I ask that you stay away from him? He kills people for a living."

  I glanced down the street and tried to think through what the fuck I was going to say.

  "Jenna." He gripped my chin and forced me to look back up at him. "I'm going to ask nicely once. Stay away from Erik. He loves beautiful women and doesn't care who's involved when he finds one he wants."

  "When is the last time you saw Erik, Nate?" I reached out and touched the side of his ear. "And how did this happen?"

  "Funny you should ask." He took a step closer and glanced down at me with an intensity that scared me as much as it turned me on. "He came by this morning to deliver a message."

  "What?" I took a step back. "Erik did this to you? With what?"

  I reached for him again, but he gripped my wrist and pulled it just behind his back, trapping me to the front of him.

  "His gun. He's a cold-blooded killer, baby. Why are you involved with him? Tell me so I can figure out a way to get you out of whatever you're getting into. Does this have to do with your brother? Tell me so I can help you."

  "Would you?" I wrapped my other arm around him and forced myself to stare into his eyes. I needed to know. "Would you kill the girl in the picture if I told you that she killed my brother? Would you help me?" I ran my hand over his ass and squeezed softly. "Please?"

  He nodded. "Of course I would, but it seems like you already have all the help you need, baby doll. Erik is the killer here. Not me."

  "I thought you wanted me away from him." I moved into step beside him as he turned and walked us toward his bike.

  "I do, but if you're contracting him to kill someone, just make sure you're really ready to be deemed a murderer." He stopped by the bike and picked up my helmet, handing it to me.

  "Would you still want me if I was?" I put it on and got on the bike.

  He smiled and shook his head. "And here I thought I was falling in love with a good girl for the first time in my long life. Seems like I'm playing the fool here, angel. Is that the case?"

  I shook my head 'no' and waited until he got on the bike to snuggle up against him. After pulling up the face guard I leaned in toward his damaged ear.

  "Did you love her at one time, Nate?"

  He turned and popped up his guard. "What?"

  "Did you love her? Denise?"

  "Her name isn't Denise, Jenna, and no. I've only loved one woman in my life." He popped his face guard back down and turned, starting the bike and pulling out into the mid-morning traffic.

  I had no clue where we were going, but truth be told, I didn't care. Erik wanted me to understand the connection before I pulled the trigger. I knew it now. They were all old friends.

  It was a warning. I was risking my relationship with Nate by killing one of his childhood friends, but maybe that wasn't the case. From what I could tell, Nate wasn't going to stand in my way, nor throw me out on my ass if I came back with blood on my hands.

  I only had to decide if I was capable of taking a life. Maybe Nate was right. Maybe getting Erik to do it was the best way of keeping myself from regretting the moment my life changed for as long as I lived.

  Either way, one thing was for sure. Nate wasn't going to leave me hanging dry when everything went down, nor was he willing to get involved.

  He might not love Denise, but he had feelings for her. I wanted to know the extent of them before I moved another step forward.

  Chapter 25

  Nate

  I took her back to my place, which wasn't the brightest idea I'd had lately, but then again, keeping an eye on her was my top priority. She'd stepped into a world that was too big for her. Too dangerous.

  That Erik Bertinelli was trying to play savior to my girlfriend left me with the sound conclusion that the fucker had fallen for her too. I wouldn't be caught off guard again. If he wanted to find her he'd have to come to my place and come through me.

  And this time, I would be ready.

  I sat in Mikey's favorite chair, watching Jenna sleep soundly while curled up on my couch. After fixing her a big sandwich, I turned on some TV and cleaned up the kitchen. She wanted to talk, but I wasn't ready. I didn't know what to say, and the idea of opening up left me feeling vulnerable.

  She wanted someone to kill Ash, but it would only be in her pulling the trigger that she would ever gain peace. It was sick. Fucked up. But it was true. I knew the truth all too well.

  If I let her go with Erik, and she took Ashley out, then we'd kill two birds with one stone. She stabs me in the heart by killing one of my childhood friends, thereby letting Mikey's theory play out in tit for tat, and all at the same time, save me from whatever horrid death Ash had planned for me. It was only a matter of time before Ashley showed up and pulled a gun on me.

  She didn't trust me anymore. I couldn't blame her.

  I was sleeping with the enemy.

  My eyes moved around Jenna's pretty face as I studied her full lips, long eyelashes, button nose. Could a sweet woman like her actually pull the trigger? My cock grew thick just thinking about it.

  "Stop it," I whispered softly.

  How fucked up was it that mine and Ashley's tricks were coming back to bite us in the ass. Ash had given up years of her life to play wife to some shrimp dick rich boy, or old man really, for the first time, and what had I done? Killed for the umpteenth time? And now she was going to die because I'd fallen in love with the wrong girl?

  I got up and let out a long sigh before walking to the kitchen and kneeling beside the dishwasher to pull out the vodka. The small shot glass I used was already sitting out by the sink. Odd, but whatever. I needed to lose myself for the night. Maybe Jenna would wake up horny and forget the need to play twenty thousand questions.

  Could I kill Ashley? No.

  Could I forgive my girl for doing it?

  "I don't know." I filled up the small shot glass and threw it back. Bitter. Really bitter, but I ignored it.

  Would Ashley ever in a million years have let someone hurt me? No. Never. I'd used and abused that poor girl more times than I cared to admit, and she still loved me. She loved me no matter what happened.

  I left the shot glass sitting on the side of the sink and decided to drink deeply from the bottle instead. There was no way around the situation. Well, none that I wanted to take advantage of.

/>   Jenna killing someone might be hot, but we were all underestimating Ash. She was a violent, sick bitch. She was partially my bitch, but she wasn't going to go down without a fight.

  I needed to do something. Fast. I took another drink and wiped the back of my sleeve across my mouth as I groaned in pain. The liquor burned so fucking good.

  "Nate?" Jenna's voice surprised me.

  "Hey." I set the bottle down and moved toward her. "You all right? You passed out while I was rubbing your shoulders."

  "Yeah. I'm good." She rubbed her eyes and leaned against me as I wrapped my arms around her. “Nate. I need to know who Denise, or whatever her name is to you.”

  I bit my lip and stared at her. “She’s an old friend, but I need to tell you something. If you wanna leave after or stab me with a butter knife, I get it.”

  “Tell me then.” Her lips pursed into a tight line.

  “She called me a few days ago, beside herself because of her newest guy biting the dust. I didn’t know it was your brother, baby.”

  “And?” She put her hand on her hip as her eyes narrowed. If I wasn’t about to lose the best thing in my life, it would have been hot.

  “And I went over to your mom and dad’s to help support her so she wouldn’t have to be there alone.” I slipped my hands into my pockets as my stomach soured. I couldn’t tell the whole truth. I just couldn’t risk losing her over a fucking mistake.

  “And you figured out then that your old friend was with my brother?”

  “Yeah.” I glanced down. “I’m sorry. I didn’t put two and two together.”

  “Did she kill my brother, Nate?”

  I locked eyes with her. “I don’t know, kitten. I wouldn’t put it past her. We’ve run tricks in the past, but I don’t know.”

  “Tricks?”

  “We’re not from the right side of the track, Jenna. You know that already.”

  “Right.” She glanced up toward the ceiling. “I honestly don’t know what to think.”

  “Then don’t think anymore. I wasn’t involved with your brother. I was just doing an old friend a favor by going over to the house. I thought nothing of it.”

 

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