"Cole?" Erik walked toward us up the stairs as we made our way down.
"Hey, man." He extended his hand. "Funny seeing you here." Cole glanced around as if trying to remember where he was.
"I was stopping by to look something up in the papers." Erik glanced over at me but didn't say a word. "This is your girlfriend?"
"No." Cole chuckled and placed his hand behind my back. "I'd ask if she were yours."
I stiffened. Had Cole been watching Erik and me?
Erik's stern look melted into a smile. "Watch yourself, cop." He moved past Cole and me and walked into the library. I glanced back to see if he might turn around and threaten Cole the way he'd done my ex earlier that week, but he walked into the library, not turning back once.
"Something I should know?" I glanced up at Cole as we walked down the remaining steps. The pain lacing my chest had to be ignored. It would be there until Erik removed himself from my life, which was hopefully sooner than later. I'd suffer and get over it, going back to my mundane life and chalking up our hot encounters as if they were a story from a good book. A book that was read and the story was over.
"No. I have run-ins with Erik all the time. He's from a rather dangerous family, but I assume you know that." He smiled down at me and offered me his arm as we stopped beside a street light.
I took it and shook my head. "I'm not talking about Erik, so if that's why you're here."
"It's not. I'm here about your brother." We jogged across the road and walked into the coffee shop, the smell of sugar and coffee rushing out to greet us.
I breathed in deeply and walked to the counter as my heart settled a little. I needed to put things into perspective and move on with the parts of my life that I could. Helping my older brother was front and center or needed to be.
After we had ordered, I found a small table near the door and sat down, watching Cole as he got our drinks and took the seat across from me.
"Have you talked to your brother lately?"
"Yes." I took the coffee and pulled the top off before blowing on it softly. "I talk to him all the time. Our parents are too involved in our lives, so the two of us stick together."
"I see." He took a sip of his coffee and glanced out the window toward the library. "And he's older than you, but still in school."
"I graduated in a little under three years." I leaned back and glanced down to pick a leaf off my sweater. "He's president of the Sigmas on campus. Everyone loves Thomas."
"And I guess you're aware that one of his friends was gunned down on Tuesday on the east side of town. You and Thomas being close and all." He locked eyes with me. "He's playing a very dangerous game, Grace."
My muscles locked in place. "Why are you telling me this instead of him?"
"Because I'm a good guy, and you're playing a dangerous game too." He glanced back toward the library. "Your brother stole some money from some really bad guy."
"And what? Now they're going to gun him down too?" My blood ran cold. Jenna. I needed to know who the fuck owned the shop Thomas stole from.
"No clue. I'm on the police force, I'm just investigating, and a few things aren't adding up."
I wanted to believe him, but there was a darkness in his stare that almost reminded me of Erik. "Like what?"
"Like why a sweet girl like you is getting tangled up with Erik Bertinelli."
"I'm not talking about Erik. You said this was about Thomas."
"It is." He glanced down at his coffee. "But it's about you too. Do you know who Erik is?"
I took a drink of my coffee and stood up. "My brother is a New York citizen, so he gets your protection."
"Your brother is a criminal." He stood up and lifted his eyebrow as if challenging me. "He should be put in jail."
"If you think he'd be safer there, then put him there."
"The guys he stole from have more help in prison than they do on the streets." He pressed his hand against the table between us and leaned toward me. "Listen. I have a brother who I love very much. There isn't much I wouldn't do for him."
"And?"
"Are you sleeping with Erik to try and help your brother out of the shit he's gotten himself into?"
"No, but if I was, when did fucking someone become a crime?" My voice rose as fear raced around in the pit of my stomach. What would sleeping with Erik have to do with Thomas? Cole wasn't making sense at all, and I was over the conversation. I'd have hell to pay anyway if Erik thought something was going on with the handsome detective and me.
He pursed his lips as he searched my face.
"That's what I thought." I took my coffee and walked toward the door. "Thanks for the break, officer. I hope you find what you're looking for." I dropped the drink in the trashcan outside the coffee shop and started across the street. A strong hand grabbed my arm and jerked me back, surprising me a little.
Cole pressed me with a hard stare. "Why do you wear clothes like that?"
"What?" I glanced down at my clothes. "What are you talking about? What does this have to-"
"Why do you dress the way you do, Grace? Answer the question. It's not a hard one."
"To keep people away." I jerked my arm from him. "Happy?"
"And why didn't it keep Erik away from you?" He tilted his head to the side.
"Who are you?" I took a step back and wrapped my arms around myself.
"A good guy playing a bad cop." I chuckled. "Or maybe a bad cop playing a good guy. I don't honestly know anymore, but I don't want to see you or your brother hurt, and you've both made it on my radar."
"Well, thanks. I'm fine." I turned and jogged across the street, running up the stairs and not stopping until I was inside the library with the doors closed behind me.
What the fuck? Had Thomas gone to the cops? No. Obviously not.
"New lover?" Erik's voice was low. Ominous.
I turned and glanced over at him before pulling off my sweater and walking to the second floor. My pink tank top was not ‘work appropriate,’ but I could care less. I wasn't having the conversation with him. Obviously, Cole had been assigned to the case on Billy, and he'd connected the dots. Maybe he was just one of those guys who tried to protect the world.
"Grace." Erik reached out and grabbed me, yanking me down a long bookshelf and pressing me against it. Being trapped against his body did nothing for my will to run.
"Stop it. Get off of me."
"Why did Cole want to talk with you?"
"My brother's gotten himself wrapped up in some shit with his fraternity, okay? It's nothing. I don't know the guy, and he was just questioning me." I pushed on his thick chest and tried not to look up into his eyes. He owned me in many more ways than I wanted to accept.
He gripped my chin and lifted it a little. "And that's it?"
"Yes." I pulled back, hitting my head on the shelf. "Ouch!"
"Stop pulling from me, and you wouldn't get hurt." He reached back and rubbed my head softly. "You've been avoiding me."
"Ditto, now, get the fuck off of me." I pushed at him again, gaining a little bit of space and taking advantage of it. I slipped around him and walked toward the foyer. "Leave me alone, Erik."
"Put your sweater back on," he barked from behind me.
I jerked around and threw the sweater at him. "Fuck you."
He smiled and licked at the side of his mouth. "If you think that prick of a cop is going to save you from me, you're wrong, kitten."
"I'm not scared of you."
He took three steps and trapped me against his chest, his arms strong, his hold almost painful. "You should be. I'm a monster of the worst kind. If you knew the things I'd done, you'd stop looking at me with that fucking loving look you keep using on me."
"I do love you. I have since the day you walked into this place." I pulled back, but he kept me trapped. Everything came flooding in at once. Jenna and Nate being happy and me not getting to see her much anymore. Thomas being scared for his life over something so insanely stupid. My mother hating me becaus
e I was strong, smart and successful so young in life, and now Erik. I was in love with an asshole that used me for sex and treated me like an annoying toy. Tears poured down my cheeks as I pushed and struggled against him. "Let me go."
"Hush." He turned us, pressing me back to the bookshelf as he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I fought against him for a few seconds before pleasure raced through my system and I melted. Sliding my fingers into his hair, I lifted up on my toes and pressed deeper into the kiss, losing myself in the lie that he could possibly care about me too.
"Please leave me alone. You're killing me." I pulled back, but he held me tight.
"No. I just want you to fully understand that I'm not the man you need in your life."
"Then let me go." Another sob bubbled up in my chest.
"I wish I could." He leaned down and kissed me again, exploring my mouth as his breathing got off. There was so much more to the story than he was willing to tell me.
"You can." I pulled back again, breathless and aching for another long afternoon of him buried inside of me. It was the only expression of love I got from him. It wasn't nearly enough, but I was grasping for scraps.
"I'm a horrible man, and you're a good girl."
"I'm your good girl." I pulled back hard, and he released me. "And who's to say I couldn't be a monster too?"
"Would you do that?" He tilted his head to the side and studied me as he reached up and rubbed his lips. "For me?"
"Yes," I whispered. What the hell did I agree to?
"And you're not going to give up on this thing between us, are you?" He took my hand, lifting it to his lips and licked at my knuckles. "You want it too bad, don't you?"
"I'm not giving up, so why don't you just give in?" I was pushing too much, but I had to. If it didn't work out this time, I'd go to Cole and ask for protection from Erik and his family. If things fell apart between us, I'd probably need it.
"Grace," he moved closer, sliding his fingers into my hair and pulling a little, "Once you're in, you’re in forever. Do you understand? I show you my world and the only way out is through a body bag. You sure you're ready for that?"
"Does it mean having you?" I couldn't seem to find enough air to fill my lungs.
"Yes," he whispered roughly and leaned down, nipping at my lips. "If I'm what you want."
"Then I'm in. You're all I want." I lifted up and pressed my lips to his as he consumed me in a passion I didn't know existed.
What the fuck had I done?
Chapter 15
Erik
What was I doing? I couldn't let Grace into my world, and yet I'd offered her just that.
She loved me. She said it herself. How the hell could I deny her after she professed her love for me? We barely knew each other and yet she was willing to put herself on the line like that?
A woman that dressed like she belonged in a retirement facility because she didn't want the wrong attention? I only had so much push inside of me. I was lonely and completely in love with her too. Years of going to the library and watching her from a distance left me no choice. She would become the softer side of me, and I would be forced to protect her with my life.
My father.
"Fuck," I mumbled and held her hand tightly as we walked around the library toward the bike.
"What's wrong?" Her voice filled with uncertainty.
"Nothing, kitten." I got on the bike and handed her a helmet. "We'll figure it out. Let's just get outta here for the afternoon and work through a few things."
"Okay," she mumbled softly and got on the back of the bike.
She wasn't tough or street smart in the least. It's like I'd gone inside of a goddamn book and snatched a princess-type out to be my girl. She couldn't defend herself or protect our kids or... Don't go there.
My mother's funeral played before my eyes, leaving my heart racing and a thick ball of regret sitting in the back of my throat as I drove us to New Jersey. My father had found himself a princess too, a sweet, beautiful, caring woman who wouldn't harm anything or anyone, and look where it got them. Mom was dead, and my father was a black shell of a man, ready to kill and maim someone before seeking out the truth in the situation.
It's where I would be if I let Grace burrow any farther in my heart and something happened to her. I would burn down the whole fucking city in retribution.
She ran her hands up my chest and pressed herself against my back as I pressed the gas and shot off down a back road with the wind in my hair and the sun beating down on my arms. I was shaking as my thoughts got darker and darker. She must have noticed.
We pulled up to a little hamburger shack outside of the city, and I turned the bike off and offered her my hand. She got off and handed me the helmet back.
"I'll get lunch. What do you want?" She moved up beside me, and I wrapped my arm around her waist.
"Whatever you want." I pulled my card out and gave it to her. "You're not buying shit. Use this. Keep it."
"What? No." She handed it back and walked toward the shack as I closed my eyes and tilted my head to the sky.
What was I doing? No... what the fuck was Cole doing? Anger burned through me at the thought of the cop talking to my girl in private. Cole knew Grace was mine. He made that shit pretty clear in front of the library. I would spend the day with Grace and then... Cole and I were having a long ass talk. One that hopefully ended with a handshake instead of his big ugly ass splattered all over the concrete.
"I got us some fries to share." She walked toward me, her pink tank top fitting her tightly and her long silky hair dancing in the wind.
I chuckled as my eyes moved down to her pants. "Grace. What are these tights you're wearing, baby?"
"You don't like them?" She pretended to pout and got on the back of the bike.
"I love them. They keep everyone with a breath in their chest and a cock in their jeans away. You look like a serial killer with those on." I started the bike, enjoying the way she leaned against me, molding her softness against the hard muscles of my back.
"Then I fit in perfectly."
We drove for another thirty minutes and pulled off into a large national forest that had park benches. I parked the bike and grabbed her hand as we walked down through the massive trees that sat all around us.
"I used to come here all the time as a kid." I glanced over at her, and she smiled back. She was so fucking beautiful it almost hurt to look at her. How long would she stay? Who would come after her? Fear and anxiety tightened my chest, and I cursed myself. This was why I didn't want to take things beyond a good hard fuck from time to time.
"I've never been here." She pulled her hand from mine and walked to the nearest park bench, working to get everything laid out for us.
I wanted to reach out and run my fingers through her hair, strip her down and make love to her on the table top, but now wasn't the time. I'd forced myself on her too many times lately as a way of just being close to her. "How long have you been working at the library?"
She sat down and picked up her burger, smiling softly at me. "Since freshman year. I was part time during college, but after graduating, I got hired on as one of the supervisors." She shrugged. "It's not for everyone, but I love it. Stories got me through a lot of hard times as a girl."
I reached out and brushed my fingers down the side of her arm, wanting to be a preppy jock type for her, but I couldn't. I was a killer and had always been. It was the way I was raised.
"Hard times like what?" I lifted my eyebrow.
"Why does that look scare me? Makes me think you might go after anyone who hurt me in the past."
"’Cause I might." I reached out and took my burger, opening it and taking a deep bite of it. When was the last time I shared a meal with a woman? My mother. My sister.
"My mom's always been hard on me, but she had Thomas at sixteen. She was just trying to protect me by making me dress like this and reminding me that I wasn't pretty enough to strip in front of a man." She shrugged, and my stomach
grew sick.
"What? Your mother made you feel like you weren't enough?" I licked my lips. "Kitten, you're the most beautiful woman in all of New York. Your mom's a pretty fucked up broad."
"Agreed on the mom part." She reached for a fry, running it along her burger and bending it to fit in her mouth. Something about her movements turned me on. "It's okay though. I wouldn't have wanted to share myself with anyone but you."
"Grace." I reached over and brushed my fingers down the side of her neck as I leaned halfway over the table and kissed her a few times. "You know I'm not the right guy for you."
"Tell me exactly why you think that." She picked up a fry and extended her hand toward me, offering it to me.
I gripped her wrist tightly and took the fry in my mouth before brushing the back of her fingers over my scruffy beard. "I'm a murderer. I kill people for a living."
"What if we just didn't talk about that part?" She cupped my face and love filled her eyes again. "What if you kept that part of your life to yourself, like the hidden parts of a good book? We could just be together and take care of each other and maybe even eventually love each other." She glanced down at her food as embarrassment moved across her face. She was opening herself up to rejection.
I didn't have it in me to kick her back again, so I ignored it instead.
"It's not that easy. I'm a hitman, and my father's the head of our syndicate. I've lived my life for him since I stepped out of the womb. That's not going to change anytime soon." I took another bite of my burger and watched her as my body hardened.
"And he wouldn't accept us being together?" The innocence in her voice left me hungry to ravage her. I was a beast, a tainted asshole with no respect for purity. Hate raced through me.
"I don't know." I reached for the fries, eating half the container as she nibbled at her burger. "Let's stop talking about it though." I licked my fingers one at a time as her eyes widened and the vein on the side of her sexy throat began to beat faster.
"Tell me about you and Nate. You're good friends, right?"
"We grew up together. I've always been in trouble because of my family and our line of work, and for a while, Nate helped me out. We got into a few fucked up situations as teenage boys where we were forced to take a bullet for each other." I laughed at the memories as they flooded my mind. "He was like a brother to me. He stood beside me when we buried my mother and helped me search for weeks for my little sister. He wouldn't leave my side."
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