“Well, I won’t be able to control myself. I just thought maybe,” she hesitated, “you’d have to go with me.”
There was a look on his face that Ashley wasn't too sure of. It was a mixture of playfulness and something else she couldn't quite place. But whatever it was, it somehow made her heart skip a beat.
“Yeah,” he replied finally, “but only because you want me there.”
Ashley's eyes went wide over the insinuation. “I do not!”
“Sure you do, I can tell.” He smirked, giving her a look that said he could read her even if she didn’t want him to. “You look all anxious, like you’re worried I won’t. You want my approval.”
The way he'd spoken made her cheeks heat up and her shyness kick in, but it was short lived. The new traits she'd gained with her change into a lupine gave her the courage to hold his gaze, as well as retort defensively.
“So what if I am? Maybe I wanna belong to a pack too.”
“Saying you wanna join mine?”
“I . . . don’t know. I like everyone I’ve met so far. I also don't know where else I could go.” She grew quiet for a moment, thinking of what it might be like. “Would I be initiated Sunday?”
“If you want it. But you'll be running with us either way, so you don't have to hurry with the decision. Just let me know when you do make up your mind and I'll get the word out.”
Ashley nodded, deciding she'd just have to wait and see how she felt after some more time spent with the pack.
With that in mind, another curiosity hit her, and she put the hesitant question to him.
“Would wolves try to, you know, look for a mate with me?”
Cade didn't look completely happy as he answered, “Definitely.”
That wasn't the answer she wanted. She'd spent most of her life avoiding dating because it never seemed worthwhile with a conservative father around, and now, she was awkward about it. So even if it was just a pack hunt with wolves running around, it was still a daunting prospect to her.
“I don't like it,” she muttered.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be there,” Cade replied. “I go every month anyway because I'm the Alpha, so I wouldn’t let anything happen.”
Ashley wasn’t exactly sure how comforting that sounded. In fact, she suddenly remembered that lupines lost their clothing when they changed into a wolf, so she wasn't even certain how much she really wanted him there now.
She could barely stop staring at him when he was dressed.
But she pushed those thoughts from her mind before she got a visual in her head and started blushing. Knowing her luck, he’d see it and begin asking a ton of questions.
Ashley thought instead about how packs went out on the night of the full moon, and that got her mind back on her captivity with the lupines who'd turned her. Now that she knew more about what she'd become, considering those assholes brought up some very particular questions she hadn't considered before.
If the full moon was Sunday, then there hadn't been one when she was locked up. So a pack hunt wouldn't be the reason those rednecks turned her, not that anything Cade said suggested as much.
But why turn her at all?
There was one thing Ashley could clearly remember said during her time spent in confinement which she never mentioned to Cade because it wasn't helpful in finding her captors. She'd felt like hell at the time, beaten and aching, when a man's voice sounded, and she could almost smell his bad breath as she recalled his thick, hillbilly accent.
“Yer jes' a tough little bitch, ain’tcha? Runty wolf that ya are, yer the best I ever seen. Ain’t too many lupines think ya’d make mucha one to start, but ya sure showed ‘em, didn’tcha?”
Those words were the only reason she had any knowledge about lupines when she'd met Leo on the bus, but they didn't reveal too much. Runty wolf but a tough little bitch? She was the best he'd ever seen? The best what?
The questions were overwhelming, and she needed answers.
“Cade, why do you think that pack turned me to begin with? There has to be a reason.”
Cade seemed hesitant, like he knew something but didn't want to say for certain. With a slow exhale, he admitted, “I’ve got a few ideas, but I wanna be sure about them before I tell you anything.”
She bit her lip. That answer wasn't good enough. “You don’t think I can handle it, do you?”
“That’s exactly what I think. Ashley,” he said quickly to stop her from retorting when he saw the frustration on her face.
She held her breath and bit her tongue in response, allowing Cade to continue with, “Trust me on this. I’ll tell you once I’m sure of what I’m suspecting. I just need to look into it.”
Though she was burning to know what it was, even if it wasn't true, Ashley decided to let him have that much. However, she did ask, “Cade, at least tell me, is it bad?”
Cade shook his head, “Not gonna say.”
“Cade!”
“Ashley, don’t push it,” Cade snapped out on a warning growl.
It was a tone she hadn't heard coming out of him yet, and for that reason, Ashley hesitated uncertainly. But he didn't give her a chance to say more anyway when he started explaining why he wouldn't bend.
“It’s gettin’ close to four now. If you wanna work tonight, you're gonna need to focus on that and take it one step at a time. Pace yourself like you said, remember?”
She looked down at the floor, realizing he was right. If he told her before work, and it was bad, she’d probably concentrate on it all night long instead of her job.
So she conceded with the softly spoken words, “All right, I'll wait.”
Still, Ashley needed him to know how important it was that he tell her something whenever he could. So she let the pain of worry show in her eyes when she looked back up at him.
“I just have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, Cade, and it's making me sick. I know whatever they had me locked up for wasn't good. If you can tell me anything, please don't keep me in the dark about it for long.”
She could tell he wasn't unsympathetic just by his expression. He stepped around the counter and took her shoulders, promising, “I'm not gonna keep you in the dark, Ashley. I'll tell you everything I know as soon as I can. Just trust me.”
Ashley held his blue gaze with a slow nod of her head. But thought was waning the longer he stood there, kneading her shoulders as if to relax her—and damned if it wasn't working like a charm.
She was surprised at how safe she did feel whenever he was around, and after her experiences, that was a sensation she knew shouldn’t be taken for granted. When she caught his scent, something inside of her ignited, warm and pleasant, and the urge to hug him, even kiss him, began gnawing at her.
But without warning, Cade released her shoulders abruptly and stepped back as if he needed to put space between them.
And Ashley felt disappointed by it.
“I'm gonna get the truck started,” he mentioned. “We'll talk about it more later.”
Ashley couldn't help wondering what just happened as she watched him leaving. But maybe it was for the best because she'd been ready to give into her urges and grab him against her better judgment.
Hell, she wanted to get up and stop him from going even now. But not knowing why she had that urge made her stay put. What's wrong with me?
While getting ready for work, she could only figure out that it had to be her new impulses making her feel this way, and damn it all, this attraction to Cade was too strong for her liking. That Catch 22's gonna drive me nuts.
She just needed to put the Alpha out of her head completely. Working at Blue Moon and meeting new people would do the trick. It'd be as much fun as going out with Sara, and an added benefit would be the tips she'd make.
The notion got her mood to improve, and by the time she was done changing her shoes, she felt as optimistic as she had that morning.
In regards to the reason for her turning, she'd let Cade figure things out as
he needed to, and if he didn’t tell her something tomorrow, then she’d be more demanding about what she wanted to know concerning why her life had changed so drastically.
She could trust him and wait until then.
Chapter 14
Lying to Ashley wasn't easy.
Cade settled into his truck, thinking about their conversation and how she’d wanted to know the reason for her turning so badly. While he wasn't completely positive that Ashley was a wolf in the fights, there was simply no other explanation.
Even though he knew he should tell her, he decided not to let it all out yet. It was likely that her temper would explode, and she may even try to go after her tormentors in a blind rage, which Cade couldn't allow.
But the look on her face when she told him she was sick from worrying about it hit him much harder than he'd expected. Suddenly, he wanted to kiss her, promise he'd never let any of those bastards hurt her ever again, and it was such a strong urge that he had to let go of her shoulders abruptly before he did something impulsive.
Damned if Ashley wasn't pushing all the right buttons, he'd admit that much. Still, she was vulnerable and confused, and he didn't want to take advantage.
Cade just hoped her mood wasn't too sour after their talk. As soon as the thought crossed him, he saw her running out of the house energetically. Guess she's fine, not to mention too damned cute for her own good. My good too.
Once again, she was back to being an excited pup, and he was glad for it, smiling when she went back to check the door lock after she’d already ran down the front steps once before finally heading to his vehicle.
When Ashley was in the truck, he started backing out of the driveway.
Though Cade was resisting his instincts, he was surprised at just how good it felt to see her in high spirits. Maybe that was because of the way she’d been treated and how she had every right to never trust a single lupine ever again. He wanted show her that they weren't all bad, and the fact that she was getting interested in sticking around made him feel accomplished.
As he’d been thinking, he heard his phone going off, and reached into his pocket to tug it out. Conner’s number was on the caller ID, and Cade pressed the talk button without question.
“Hey Conner. What's up?”
“I wanted to apologize for earlier,” came his brother's voice.
“Don’t apologize,” Cade replied, “you didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. You never do. I should apologize to you.”
“Maybe, but I picked a hell of a time and a way to say things. I shouldn’t have flown off the handle like that, especially not calling you a disgrace when you're dealing with it too.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it, little bro. You got me thinking, and you’re right, I can’t remember the last time we packed up the boat and just went fishing for the hell of it. We’ll have to do it again soon.”
“I'm game. Joslyn said she misses dad's trawler anyway.”
Cade grinned, listening when Conner asked, “By the way, are you in the truck? I hear the wind.”
“Yeah, I’m on the way to Blue Moon with Ashley. Why don't you drop by later with Joslyn to meet her? Tell Caleb he’s invited too, if he can behave himself.”
Cade heard a snort of amusement coming from his brother, followed by, “Okay, we’ll do that. I’ll see you after work then.”
“Later, bro.”
He hung up and put the phone in his pocket, then glanced over to see Ashley giving him a little smile. The look nearly put one on his face as well when he began to watch the road again and asked, “What?”
“Nothin’,” she replied casually. “Just glad it blew over fast.”
“Oh yeah? Why's that?”
Playfully, Ashley retorted, “Cause I don’t want you being a grumpy bastard tonight, ruining my mood and making me get shitty tips.”
Cade grinned. “Here I was thinking you were gonna say something like it was sweet of me to ask him to stop by.”
Ashley lifted a brow as if she thought that would’ve sounded odd. “Maybe it was, but you don’t look like the kind of guy who’d appreciate being called sweet. Can I ask you something though?”
“What’s that?”
“Are you using me as an excuse to smooth things over with him, or do you really want 'em to meet me?”
“Damn girl, that’s cold,” he teased. “You’ve got some bite, you know that?”
Ashley blushed, retorting, “All I meant was that you could've said ‘come over to meet her’ and meant ‘come by so we can have a long talk’ or something.” More defensively she added, “I was just curious!”
“Well, maybe it was both,” he admitted, “but I do want ‘em to meet you.”
“Then in that case, I’ll say it was sweet of you,” she grinned. “If we get along as well as I did with your sister, then we'll have a lot of fun.”
Cade looked wary at the mention of that. “Oh boy, not here a day yet and you’re already bonding with Sara. I’m in deep shit.”
“Why’s that? Afraid she’s gonna tell some embarrassing stories about you or something?”
“She always does.”
“Then you’ll just have to tell some about her.”
“I always do.”
Ashley chuckled, and Cade wondered if she was warming up to him. Idly, he remembered what Sara said as well. If she hates you now, she'll love you tonight, and then hate you again tomorrow morning.
Sara was probably more right than she knew. He just hoped he wouldn't accidentally set Ashley off in the meantime.
They arrived at Blue Moon not long later, and Cade gave her the business operations of the bar. They were open everyday except most major holidays, and Super Bowl Sunday was always extremely busy with the game played on the television for the patrons to watch.
This prompted the quiet question of whether or not lupines celebrated holidays, and Cade responded that it wasn’t just lupines who worked there, so the holidays were observed whether or not they were celebrated. That aside, he added that several did tend to do a little something on those days if for no other reason than the enjoyment of it.
Halloween and Christmas were popular for instance, but there wasn’t any religion tied to it. It was just an excuse to have fun and, on the plus side, made them fit into a human society.
Currently, the place was empty for all intents and purposes on that Wednesday afternoon as they headed toward the bar. Martin was cleaning, and when he saw Ashley, he smiled.
“Welcome aboard. I guess he decided to keep you, huh?”
“Yeah, he even tried to leash me.”
Martin grinned. “Don't worry, Cade has that habit. He's tried to make me sleep in a doghouse before.”
The talk earned a scrutinizing look from Cade, who informed Ashley, “Don't listen to him. He climbed into that doghouse on his own.”
“Shut up, Cade, it had a nice pillow.”
“Doesn't explain the poodle you were curled up next to.”
Clearly, Martin was trying to hide his amusement, calling as they headed into the back, “It was her place!”
Ashley was covering her mouth because of her laughter, and Cade led her into the office with a grin on his face. He was glad she had enough humor to realize neither of them were serious because they tended to take jabs at one another regularly.
Sara was sitting on the computer in the back office when they walked in, making truck orders and faxing invoices. Cade sat down at the desk across from hers and got the paperwork out for Ashley.
Once she was done filling it out, Ashley handed it back to Cade, and Sara pulled out a Blue Moon shirt from a drawer in her desk while explaining that Nicole, who also worked there, could train her. Then she pointed out a cabinet next to the door that Ashley could put her things in.
Ashley went to change in the bathroom, and returned a few minutes later with the baby doll top she’d been wearing in hand, which she stored in the cabinet, then curiously asked the two owners, “By the way, where did t
he name Blue Moon come from?”
Sara answered, “Our dad wanted to open a place and just call it Hodgins'. Cade here, the genius he is,” she snickered, “told Dad that with a name like that, he’d only get business every once in a blue moon.”
Cade smiled over the memory, elaborating, “Dad just kind of stopped and got this look on his face like bingo. He had everything going, so Sara and I took over and opened it in his memory.”
Ashley grinned, mentioning, “That's surprising. I thought it would've had something to do with lupines. But I'm off to bug Martin until Nicole gets here. See ya!”
Once the door shut behind her, Sara glanced over at Cade, asking, “You know what Mom would say about her?”
“Sweet as a cup of sugar?”
“Yep.”
“That’s one of the first things I thought when I met her,” Cade admitted. “She's too damned cute.”
“You sound a little taken,” Sara pointed out conspiratorially. “Instinct gettin' worked up?”
Cade groaned quietly. Of all his siblings, he was the most at ease with letting Sara know how he was feeling because she didn't tease him about it like his brothers, and she offered a different perspective.
But sometimes he couldn't hide anything from her because she knew his signs.
“I wouldn't say taken.”
“Then how would you put it?”
“Preoccupied.”
“That's the same thing, Cade.”
“Whatever.”
Sara smirked, looking back to ask, “You're not thinking you don't deserve someone, are you?”
“It's not that. I'm thinking she's adapting to a new life, and it's a bad time. Even if she invited interest from me, I'd feel like I was taking advantage of her.”
“Good point,” Sara agreed, turning in her chair. “But don't start treating it like a bad thing just because you don't think you deserve to be happy, or I'll kick your ass, got it?”
Cade smiled, promising, “I won't. But don't mention any of this to Ashley.”
“Why not?”
Sara asked the question as if she wanted to understand what he meant, not because she thought it was a bad idea. So Cade explained, “She wouldn't understand it yet, especially after only a day.”
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