The woman wore nothing but a cowboy hat held over her lady parts with one hand. Her other hand was held up like she was covering her mouth, which was a little red O of surprise. Her eyes were wide with shock. It was a pretty way to portray my shame that day in the hall, when I’d run into him naked.
Behind the naked woman was a pastel, prairie landscape, which brought into contrast her milky white skin and bright pink nipples.
“Oh, wow,” I said after a minute. “That’s…interesting.”
To my surprise, instead of getting embarrassed, Holden chuckled. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I usually sell them, but I might keep this one.”
“Is there a market for this kind of thing?” I asked, then winced at the incredulous note in my voice.
“You’d be surprised,” Holden said.
“Well, it’s not the direction I was going to go with decorating the place, but…”
“That’s all right,” he said quickly. “We don’t put them around the house.”
“Do you have any others here?” I asked, glancing around his room. Like the rest of the house, it was completely devoid of decoration or personality.
“I have a batch in the closet,” he said, standing and moving to open the door. I followed and pulled them out, studying them one by one. A buxom redhead in a Betty Boop pose wearing only a cowboy hat and boots, in the desert. A dark-haired, exotic beauty standing on the far side of a wooden fence, the rails strategically hiding certain areas. A blonde wearing nothing but leather chaps, looking back over her shoulder. Another dark-haired exotic beauty riding a horse.
“Now that doesn’t look very comfortable,” I said.
Holden shuffled his feet. “It’s just a painting.”
“I know, I’m kidding,” I said, giving his shoulder a playful shove. “So are these all the girls you’ve seen naked lately?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Not really.”
I laughed and lifted another canvas. “Maria?” I asked, holding up yet another of the dark-haired woman standing beneath a stormy sky.
He swallowed before giving a curt nod.
“It’s okay,” I said, setting down the painting and touching his elbow. “Sawyer told me about her.”
“I know.”
I pulled back in surprise. “You do?”
“We share everything,” he said with a shrug.
“Everything?” I asked with a meaningful look at the paintings.
“They know I paint,” he said. “We’ve lived together all our lives.”
He was so innocent I didn’t want to spoil it by telling him what I really meant. After all, that’s how I’d gotten into this whole awkward situation with them.
“So this bitch who broke your heart,” I said, sitting down and gesturing to the painting. “Can I hunt her down and kick her ass?”
24
Amber
Before Holden could respond, his phone rang. He checked it before shutting off the ringer and setting it back on his bedside table. I was glad he hadn’t used the phone call as an excuse to get out of answering my question, but I couldn’t help but wonder if it was a woman calling, and that’s why he hadn’t answered. A little flare of protectiveness rose in me. If I had anything to do with it, I’d be joining in on their application process for future lady friends. Not just anyone was good enough for my gentle giant of a stepbrother.
“So about this Maria,” I said, gesturing to a painting. “Do you know where she is now?”
“No,” Holden said with a shrug, staring at the picture. “We haven’t talked to either of them since they took off. That was three years ago.”
“And you’re all still hung up on her?” I could barely remember my boyfriend from three years ago, the one before Charlie.
“It’s not like that,” he said. “We’re not in love with her anymore. It just taught us to be careful with who we trust.”
“Well, thank you for trusting me enough to tell me,” I said, touching his arm again. “And to show me your paintings.”
“You’re our sister,” he said with a shrug.
Both of us turned to the painting on the easel at the same moment. “We’re not related,” I reminded him. “Not by blood.”
“I know,” he said. “But most people don’t make that distinction.”
“I think they do,” I said, my hand lingering on his arm. God, I wanted to feel up that muscle. I must be getting really desperate if I was fantasizing about groping his arm. And feeling them wrapped tight around me, crushing me under that barrel chest of his…
“You saw Mrs. Grimes last week,” he said.
“I hope she never sees these paintings,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.
Holden smiled. “Lord help us if she does.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I actually came in here to ask about that. And to say I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For the other day,” I said. “When we ran into each other. I don’t want things to be awkward anymore. I’ve been so bored and lonely since you stopped talking to me.” I didn’t mention that I’d been so lonely I’d almost broken down and called Charlie. I had lots of time to think about him while my stepbrothers were ignoring me.
A pained expression crossed Holden’s face. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he said. “You’re right, we’ve been rude. I didn’t think how…” He broke off and shook his head. “You’re alone here, and we’ve got each other.”
“I know I’m not part of your boys’ club,” I said. “And I’m okay with that. I’m not a guy, and I totally messed up the other day and crossed all kinds of boundaries you have with women. But if you could hold off on unanimously deciding I’m a hopeless case for like two more months, I’d so appreciate that.”
Holden smiled and hooked his arm around my neck, pulling me close. “You’re not a hopeless case,” he said, kissing my forehead.
It should have been a totally brotherly hug, and I should have pulled away and socked him in the arm, but oh… He smelled like clean laundry and hay, and my cheek pressed against his solid pecs, and my hands found his hips. Every part of him was just so big! My hands felt tiny on his body. And instead of letting me go, he kept his arm around me, and his nose pressed into my hair for a second. I closed my eyes and sighed, melting against him.
“Amber,” he said, his quiet voice choked.
“Mmm?”
His arm slid down from around the back of my neck, down my shoulders, my back. It settled around my waist, pulling me hard against him. Through his thin pajamas and my long-sleeved tee, I could feel his cock beginning to harden against my belly. His knees bent a little, and he stooped to kiss the side of my head, nuzzling my hair.
It was automatic, I swear it. But I lifted my face to his without even thinking. Of course I knew it was wrong to be kissing my stepbrother, but I couldn’t help myself. He was so sexy, and he smelled so good, and he felt so good pressed up against me…
My lips yearned for his, and when they found them, they never wanted to stop. To be honest, I wanted a lot more than a kiss. My thighs quaked at the sensation of his hardness pressed against me. I wanted to feel more of that. But despite that rigid, ramrod cock, his lips were soft as velvet against mine, his kiss as soft and gentle as I would have imagined if I’d ever imagined kissing him. Which I totally hadn’t.
His arm tightened around me, crushing me against his body, but his lips remained soft and careful. As his other hand stroked my hair, I dug my own hands into his brown hair, standing on tiptoes and pressing into the kiss. A long, passionate sigh escaped him. Together, our lips found a slow, steady rhythm that made heat spread through my body, settling at last between my thighs.
The wind rattled outside the house. An owl hooted somewhere nearby. Far away, a pack of coyotes sang. Holden’s arms held me close, bending my body back slightly as he held it against his. Though I could feel his excitement growing against me, he didn’t rub it against me or change his hold. He just kissed me tenderly, warmly, co
ntinuously, until my lips felt swollen and my whole body was on fire. I thought I’d explode if we didn’t move to the bed soon.
Instead, Holden slowly pulled away. He cupped my cheek in his hand, his eyes swimming with adoration and awe.
“Amber,” he said, his voice dreamy and slightly rough. The way he said my name made me shiver with longing, as if my name itself were a precious treasure.
“Yes?” I breathed.
And then he said the words I wished he’d never say. “We can’t.”
“I know,” I said, sinking down from my tiptoes.
With a pained expression, he gave me one last squeeze before letting me go. “I’m sorry,” he said, but I didn’t know if he was apologizing that we couldn’t go any further or for the kiss. Somehow, I didn’t think this would help with the issue of things being super awkward because we were related and madly attracted to each other.
“Me, too,” I said. “But it’s probably for the best. I mean, I won’t lie, you’re hot as hell. But I’m just too confused by all this to do anything, anyway.”
His brow creased with concern. “What are you confused by? Let me help.”
“You’d think I was a slut.”
“I’d never think that,” he said, his eyebrows drawing into a frown.
“Here’s the thing. I think you’re like the sweetest guy I’ve ever met, and super-hot to boot, but…well, I also kind of think your brothers are pretty awesome, and I may have had a moment with one or both of them last week. The same morning we ran into each other. Does that make me a terrible human being?”
Holden took my hand and pulled me close, brushing my hair back again. “It doesn’t make you a terrible human being,” he said, kissing me softly.
“Seriously? You don’t care?”
“I care about you,” he said. “And I care about my brothers. I want you to be happy, and I want them to be happy.”
I swallowed hard. How could he be so accepting?
“What does that mean?” I whispered. “You’d be okay only having a third of my heart?”
“As long as together, we have all of you,” Holden said, his eyes earnest. “I don’t think of it as measuring off pieces of you. I want all of you, every bit of you, body and soul and heart and everything else. But I want it for all of us. My brother’s happiness is as important to me as my own.”
“That’s generous of you,” I said, thinking of Waylon’s possessive, hard eyes. “But I don’t know if the others would agree.”
“I do,” he said fiercely. “But what’s even more important to me than our happiness is yours.”
I swallowed hard, feeling oddly naked. Was this what vulnerability felt like? I’d been too mad and hurt by Charlie to feel this way. But this time, I was standing before the man rejecting me. It was terrifying, and it kind of sucked.
“What do you want, Amber?” Holden asked, holding me firmly even when I started to pull away. “What would make you happy?”
“I don’t know,” I said. I had the sudden urge to run away and hide. This was too much, too fast. He looked like he freaking loved me. And I had to pick right now? How could I not pick him? He was adorable and good and sweet and oh God, I could just imagine how generous he would be in bed. But then there was Sawyer, who would build pillow forts with me and tickle me and chase me around the bedroom. And Waylon…a shiver of excitement tinged with fear ran through me when I thought of what he would be like between the sheets.
But I’d just broken up with my boyfriend of three years. It hadn’t even been a month. What if this was just lust, just a rebound? What if I was subconsciously doing it go get back at him? That wasn’t fair to the guys. And then there was the little matter of my inexperience. They’d want a real woman, one who could keep up. Not a virgin.
“If it’s just one of us, and it’s not me, I’ll be just as happy for both of you,” Holden said. “But if it’s all of us, that’s what you’ll get.”
“I—I can’t choose right now,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”
Suddenly, tears threatened, and I had to get out of there. Holden’s voice echoed in my ears even after I’d stepped out into the hall and hurried back to my room.
“You don’t have to.”
Did he mean I didn’t have to choose right now? Or I didn’t have to choose at all?
*
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Excerpt of
Wrangle Me, Cowboys
Coyote Ranch
Book 2
1
The morning after I kissed my stepbrother, I woke up to the bright light of a Wyoming morning. The room was a bit chilly, but I snuggled down under the comforter and smiled to myself, remembering that kiss. Remembering the sensation of Holden’s huge, muscular body pressing against mine. Remembering his cock hardening against me.
I rolled over and pulled open the drawer of the nightstand, reaching for my vibrator. I’d gotten used to being sexually frustrated after three years of dating a hold-out who turned out to be a cheating piece of shit who was only holding out on me.
To my even greater frustration, as my hand brushed the bottom of the empty drawer, I realized I’d left my vibrator back in New York. After all, I’d thought I was coming here to babysit, not fall into paroxysms of lust over three sexy cowboys. With a groan, I fell back on my pillow, my arm across my eyes. What a craptastic way to ruin the good feeling I’d had when I woke.
On the nightstand, my phone buzzed, taunting me.
I picked it up and looked at it, an idea forming in my mind. My phone vibrated….
Five minutes later, I called my best friend Haley back. “I need an intervention,” I blurted when she answered.
“Aww, Amber. Are you drinking yourself into a coma every night thinking of how much you miss me?”
“I do miss you,” I said. “But no. I’m pretty sure I just violated my phone in ways no one has ever done before. I can’t even believe I’m holding it against my face right now.”
“Did you put it inside your underwear?” Haley asked.
“What? How did you even know what I was talking about?”
“Emergency vibe,” she said, as if it were obvious.
I tried not to think about how many times I’d used her phone.
“So, did you?” she asked. “Because yeah, that’s like sexual assault of a mobile device. But otherwise, you’re good.”
“Then I’m good,” I said, relieved that I wasn’t the first woman to get desperate enough to hump her iPhone.
“And hey, no pussy juice on your face,” Haley added.
“Did you just call it pussy juice?”
“Well, I could have said come, but you’d probably enjoy getting come on your face.”
“You’d know.”
“It’s like a warm facial,” she said. “But seriously, Am. Just go buy a vibrator.”
“There are no cabs here,” I said. “No buses. No subway. Basically, I’m trapped and at the mercy of my stepbrothers.”
“Ahhh,” she said. “So that’s why you need to masturbate with your phone. The sexy stepbrother. Which one are you lusting after this time?”
“All of them,” I wailed. “I can’t decide. And honestly, Haley, I don’t think they want me to.”
“Ugh, don’t tell me they’re putting you in a nunnery like the Threesome King.”
That was the name Haley had given my ex after we walked in on him having a threesome. For years, I’d let him know I’d be open to sex or other things, but he’d been insistent on preserving my virginity. Like it was something to put in a freaking museum.
“I’m not sure,” I said. “They definitely aren’t trying to shut me up in a nunnery, but we are
related…”
“Uh…no? To be related, they’d have to be your actual brothers.”
“So you’d be cool sleeping with your stepbrothers?”
“Ew, no, because they’re little kids and I was there when they were born,” Haley said. “You just met these guys. And if they want you and you want them… No judgment.”
“But there’s three of them. What if they get jealous and weird?”
“So they all want you, together, at the same time?”
“I think so,” I squeaked.
“Well, I guess you won the breakup. A foursome beats a threesome.”
“Four mouths are better than three,” I said, paraphrasing the evil ex, and we both dissolved into laughter.
But I did wonder. Holden had told me I didn’t have to choose. Maybe he hadn’t meant it the way I’d taken it. Maybe he’d meant it like, I didn’t have to worry about choosing because they would never hook up with their stepsister, no matter how perfect that kiss had been.
But I didn’t think so. I thought he meant it like, I didn’t have to choose because I could have them all. Which just seemed too good to be true, and also, I worried about the logistics of it. Would I rotate from one room to the next each night? Would we need to make a schedule? What if I needed a night off or I had my period? What if one of them got mad because I made more noise in the room next door with his brother? What if I just wanted to be held by big, cuddly Holden, but it was rough-and-ready Waylon’s night?
Or would it be a foursome—all three of them at the same time? And if it was that, could I handle it?
2
A while later, I’d when I’d calmed down, I saw Waylon heading for the shop out beyond the five empty cabins behind the house. I threw together a sandwich as an excuse and let myself out the back door. I wasn’t sure if Holden had told his brothers about our kiss, or if I should tell them first. I didn’t know how this whole thing worked at all, but I knew they didn’t like secrets. If I came clean about it, I figured they’d respect me. Then again, it might get Holden in trouble.
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