Is that she wasn’t enough.
She had never fought back. She had never told them she didn’t have to be them, or be Gwen, to be happy. She was happy with her life. She was a good person. That good person had finally taken as much as she could from her family. She stood, picking up her cup and plate. “Gwen, I have to go.”
“Why? Where are you going?”
“Why? Because if I stay here I’ll say something mean, something I can’t take back. I don’t want to do that because I love you. Where am I going? I don’t really know because I hadn’t planned on doing anything today that didn’t include you, my sister. But now, I just want to be as far away from you as possible.”
“Wait, you have to—”
Katie stopped at the door. “No, Gwen, I don’t.”
She took her dishes to the kitchen. Sandy gave her a sympathetic look and then a light hug. “I think Faith is heading to town to pick up something from the hardware store. If you hurry, you can catch up with her.”
Katie nodded and with tears stinging her eyes she grabbed her purse and hurried from the house. She was running down the front steps, wiping her eyes when she hit a solid wall coming up the steps. Strong hands gripped her arms and she looked into blue eyes. Of course, if a day could get worse, hers would. She sniffled and tried to sidestep, peering past him to search for Faith.
“I’m sorry, I was trying to catch up with Faith.”
“Because you always run from the house in tears looking for my sister?”
“I’m not crying.” She blinked fast and gave him a hopeful smile.
“I have sisters. I know tears when I see them.”
“I have a sister, too. And as much as I love her, I’d rather not spend the day with her.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
His hands were still on her arms, holding her steady, and what she really wanted to do was nod and tell him she could really use a hug. A hug would be the most amazing thing in the world. As if he knew, he pulled her close and she couldn’t help it, she melted into his embrace.
“Thank you,” she whispered into his neck.
“I slay dragons on weekends, if the need should arise.”
She laughed a little, still being held and not minding. “I might need your services.”
“So, now that you have your sense of humor back, do you want to tell me what’s going on? And I think you’re too late. Faith left a few minutes ago.”
“What’s wrong?” How could she sum up a life of not meeting expectations? “Nothing I can’t handle. But I would like to talk to you about that building you have for rent.”
“Wouldn’t you like to take a look at it first?”
“Yes, I would.”
“Okay, how about right now? I have to get some work done in town, but I have about an hour before I meet with a few people on the committee that is searching for answers into the time capsule.”
“That would be great. I can always find a ride home later. And if you give me the list for the wedding, I’ll see what I can get done.”
“I happen to have that list in my truck. I will gladly hand it over to you.”
They were almost to his truck when the front door of the house opened and Gwen came flying out. “Wait, Katie, where are you going?”
“To town to get some work done. I meant to tell you, but I got distracted.”
“Katie, I didn’t mean—” Gwen stopped and sighed a little. “Okay, I guess I did. And I shouldn’t have. You deserve better.”
Katie glanced from her sister to Cord Shaw. He shrugged and gave her a look that said it was up to her. Up to her if she wanted to involve her sister in her plan, her dreams. Up to her if she wanted Gwen to know how involved she was with this wedding.
“You can go with us if you want.”
Gwen smiled her most open smile. It was that smile that stunned people, the smile that charmed. “I’d love to go with you. Let me get my jacket.”
Katie had once thought forgiving so easily made her a doormat. Somewhere along the way, she had realized that wasn’t the case at all. She’d always taken her own path. She’d stood her ground when it came to college, her job, her life. She’d maybe taken a little more from her family than she should have, but forgiving didn’t hurt. It hurt more to stay angry with her family, to hold on to the hurt. She remembered times that she had tried and she’d been miserable.
“You’re a nice person,” Cord said, opening the truck door for her. “I hope she realizes how blessed she is.”
“I think sometimes she does.”
Ten minutes later they were driving down Shaw Boulevard toward Main Street. In the backseat, Gwen leaned forward. “Where exactly are we going?”
“There’s a building in town I want to look at. And I have a list of things to check for the wedding.” Katie glanced back at her sister. “We can have lunch together.”
Gwen grimaced just the slightest bit. “That will be good. What is the building for? Won’t the entire wedding and reception be at the fairgrounds?”
“Yes,” was Katie’s answer. Why give up too much?
Cord parked in front of the city hall. He opened the briefcase on the seat next to him and pulled out a key. He handed it to her and then a list. “Have at it. I know you’ll make it all come together.”
“You know you’ll owe me.”
“Yes, I do know that,” he said with a wink.
Her cheeks heated and she stumbled over what she should say. Especially knowing that this man was so clearly off-limits. He could be a friend. Friendship was easy. It didn’t hurt. It was all he wanted from her. If she remembered that, everything should work out and no one would get hurt. It was all fun and games until Katie lost her heart. She smiled ruefully at her own humor and then managed a smile for him.
Gwen was out of the truck and waiting on the sidewalk, her back conveniently turned. Her focus was on the window of city hall.
“She isn’t so bad.” Cord leaned toward Katie. “She thinks we need time alone.”
“That’s sweet of her.” Time alone was a big mistake. “But I’m happy with friendship. It’s less complicated.” Safer.
“You won’t get an argument from me,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. “I’ve been engaged twice. Two times jilted almost at the altar.”
“Okay, since we’re sharing stories. I thought a man might be falling in love with me, but he just thought of me as a little sister. And then he married my best friend and I was his best woman, for lack of a better word.”
“We all have scars, Katie. Some a little deeper, some a little more painful, but the scars are there. We’re patched up, put back together, we heal and we forgive.”
“But this, Cord—” she motioned between the two of them “—this can’t happen.”
“I know,” he agreed. He pulled back, reaching for his door. “I want you to know, I’m not that guy.”
“That guy?”
With his hand still on the door, he explained, “I’m not chasing women. I’m not looking for temporary relationships. People depend on me and I won’t let those people down.”
Marci and Lulu. She nodded because she understood. But it didn’t really explain what had been happening between them. The big elephant in the truck with them. Chemistry? Just chemistry.
“I know. And I can’t think about a relationship with someone whom I might know for only a few weeks. It’s the equivalent of a summer romance in high school. The kind where the girl goes home from the beach vacation, cries for months, eats raw cookie dough and falls apart every time she hears his name. In the past year, I made a commitment not to date because it hurts too much to go from relationship to relationship with no intention of forever.”
“Intentional dating?” He supplied the word.
“Yes,
intentional. I’m not going to date just to date.”
“I respect that. And now we know exactly where we stand.”
“Yes, now we know.” So she should feel better. Right? “I’ll check back in with you in an hour or two. And you have my cell number if you have to leave?”
They met on the sidewalk, several feet between them. “Yes, I’ll call.”
She watched him walk away and then she joined her sister. Gwen gave her a curious look. “Is that why you’re so willing to stay in Jasper Gulch? Not that I blame you.”
Katie walked up the sidewalk to the empty store that she wanted to claim as her own. “I’m here because you asked me to stay for you and because I have vacation time.”
“Right.” Gwen grinned, leaning against the window as Katie jiggled the key in the lock and then opened the door. “What’s this building for?”
Katie walked through the door into the small shop. Large windows faced the street. The floor had fairly new beige carpet. The walls were white but could easily be textured and painted a warm color. Potential. She turned slowly, visualizing it the way she knew it could be. In her mind she saw evening attire, casual wear, a section of Julie’s wool sweaters and scarves, whatever else she might want to put in a retail venue.
“Katie?”
“I’ve always wanted my own store. A boutique with everything from casual to evening wear. I could carry handcrafted jewelry, maybe locally designed. Jasper Gulch has the citizens who would want a store like that and there wouldn’t be any local competition.”
“You would open a store here? How? Where would you live? This is exactly what we were all worried about. I could hear in your voice that you’re getting attached to this town.”
Where would she live? That was the question Katie stopped with. The rest of what Gwen said, well, it didn’t really need a response.
She walked to the back of the store and through a door into the stockroom. There she knew she would find a door that led to stairs and the apartment above the shop. Hannah Douglas, soon to be Harcourt after she married Brody Harcourt, lived above one of the stores in town. She and her twins. She smiled, remembering those twins when she’d seen them at church. Their mother had her hands full. At least she now had someone to help carry the load.
Sometimes people found what they were looking for. Sometimes God had an unlikely plan to bring joy from mourning.
A bell jangled before she could go up the stairs. She hurried back to the store area just as Lilibeth Shoemaker walked in, looking around as if she’d never been inside the building.
“Lilibeth, can I help you?”
Lilibeth shifted her purse and nodded, looking less sure of herself than Katie thought was typical for the teen. “Yes, I’m here to see if there is anything I can do. You know, to help with the wedding. And, well, if you really are going to turn this into a store, I’d really like to work for you.”
Katie blinked a few times. Word really did get around fast in a small town. “I don’t have any firm plans, Lilibeth, but if you’d like to help with the wedding, maybe you could be at the fairgrounds tomorrow at two o’clock.”
“That would be great. Well, I know you’re busy. But thank you.”
That’s how a person became part of a community. She waved as Lilibeth left and then she had to face her sister and admit that she loved Jasper Gulch.
“You’re not coming home, are you?” Gwen looked around the shop, her eyes somber.
“I hadn’t really planned on staying. Even this morning when I thought I’d come and look at this building, it hadn’t been a real plan. But, Gwen, I want this. I know it isn’t an amazing plan. In comparison to your life, it is still small and it won’t save lives, but—”
Gwen stopped her with a hand held up. “Excuse me?”
“You’re going to deliver babies and save lives. I’m not you, Gwen. I’m not brilliant. I’m not beautiful. I’m Katie and the trouble with being Katie is that she isn’t Gwen.”
Gwen’s mouth opened and she gasped. “You can’t be serious.”
“Of course I am.”
“Katie, you’re beautiful and funny and smart. You make people feel comfortable. Everyone loves you.”
“Oh, Gwen, I wish that was the case. But I’ve been in your shadow my whole life. At school the teachers always expected me to be you. Our parents expected me to be you. I just want to be me. Maybe I need to be me somewhere other than Missoula. You know how sometimes a tree can’t grow because the bigger tree is blocking the sun?”
“Oh, Katie.” Gwen’s eyes swam with tears. “I’m not the bigger tree.”
“Yes, Gwen, you are. But I love you and it’s okay. Maybe this is God’s way of getting me where I need to be.”
“God?” Gwen shook her head a little. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Faith, Gwen. Maybe that’s what I’ve needed all my life, to have faith. And maybe I needed to see that we aren’t in competition. God created us both and He has a plan for us both. A separate plan. And I’ve been so busy wanting your life, your dreams, that I haven’t really focused on mine. I don’t want to miss out on what God has planned for my life.”
“I’m going to try to wrap my mind around this. And, Katie, I’m sorry for making you feel less than amazing. Because you are amazing.”
Katie hugged her sister. “Thank you.”
“Thank you?”
Katie hugged her sister a little tighter. “I needed you to understand because as much as I wanted a little of the sunshine, I love being your sister.”
“I love you, too.” Gwen backed out of her embrace and they both wiped at damp eyes. “So, we should go find your handsome cowboy? Because if you don’t rope him, someone will.”
“Rope him? Really, Gwen?” Katie shook her head. “I’m not trying to catch Cord Shaw.”
“I think you need to reconsider.”
They left the building, locking it behind them. As Katie turned toward city hall, she caught sight of a woman walking on the other side of the street. Lulu Jenson.
* * *
Cord glanced out the window of city hall. It was nearly time for lunch. He expected Katie and her sister to show up anytime. And he wanted to let Katie know that the committee had taken her thoughts on the capsule to heart. They were charged with finding it, but Olivia had already done a lot of digging on what might have been in the capsule. So far she’d found nothing.
A movement up the street caught his attention. He walked out the door when he realized it was Katie, Gwen and Lulu. Katie had an arm around Lulu. They were obviously heading toward city hall and him.
As they approached, he heard bits and pieces of a conversation. The most telling was that Lulu wasn’t sure where she’d parked her car and that someone should call her daughter because maybe she moved it. His heart ached, really ached as he listened.
Katie met his gaze and shook her head. There were tears in her brilliant green eyes and a look of sympathy so deep it moved him. He walked forward, brushing a hand down her arm before reaching for Lulu.
“Cord?”
“Lulu, it’s a pretty day for a walk, isn’t it?” He moved next to her when Gwen stepped back. “What are you doing in town?”
She shook her head and her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know, Cord. I really don’t.”
A police car drove up Main Street and pulled in, parallel to the curb. Deputy Cal Calloway stepped out, tugging down the brim of his hat as he walked toward them.
“Cal?”
“Got a call from Lulu’s nurse, Pamela Gibbs. She was at the store with Lulu.” He nodded in Lulu’s direction and smiled. “Hey, Lulu, how are you?”
She smiled and Cord now recognized that look on her face. She didn’t know Cal, but she was going to pretend she did. “I’m just fine. It’s a pretty day for a walk.”
Cal motioned Cord forward. As he stepped away, Gwen took his place next to Lulu. He heard her questioning the older woman in a gentle tone. Of course, she was a doctor. He’d forgotten that detail.
“Cal?” Cord walked with Cal, putting distance between himself and the ladies.
“This is the second time in two weeks, Cord.”
“I know, Cal. I know.”
“Winter’s coming on and if she does this in the cold...”
“I understand. I’m just not sure what to do. How do I take her away from Marci?”
The two stopped at the end of the sidewalk. Cars traveled slowly down Main Street, people rubbernecking to see what Cord and Cal were up to. Word would get around pretty quickly. He shook his head, worrying already about what Marci would hear.
“Figure something out, Cord. I won’t write a report this time, but you know that if this continues, the courts could take control of the situation.”
“I have medical power of attorney. Lulu doesn’t have a lot of family. There’s a brother in California and a niece in Arizona.”
“You’re probably better for her than the people living a thousand miles away. But that doesn’t make it any easier. We had to put my granddad in a home when his dementia got to this point. Hardest thing in the world, Cord. My mom cried for weeks because she hated leaving him there. But she knew he was safer because there were people constantly watching him. Some people can stay at home. But when it gets to this point, Cord, where they’re wandering off and getting lost, it isn’t good.”
“I know. I was just hoping the medication would help her hold on a little longer.”
“Yeah, it can. It didn’t work with my granddad.”
He glanced back, watching as Gwen hugged Lulu and spoke close to her ear. Lulu was crying, holding on to Katie’s arm. Lulu’s nurse, Pamela Gibbs, had spotted them and was running down the sidewalk. Cord pulled off his hat and ran a hand through his hair.
“Life doesn’t always go the way we expect it to, does it?”
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