When I swung the door open, she was standing before me with a gorgeous smile on her face and a pizza box in her hand. This girl knew the way to my heart. I relieved her arms of the box and leaned forward, giving her a welcoming kiss.
“You always taste so damn good.” I smacked my lips and stood to the side, waiting for her to enter. “You look gorgeous, babe.”
“Thank you.”
Lately, all these dresses and little skirts she’d been parading around in drove me to the brink of sexual insanity. I swear she was taunting me on purpose. But the little denim skirt and navy-colored tank top she had on tonight made me think exceptionally dirty thoughts.
As soon as I set the box on the kitchen counter, I hooked my thumbs in the belt loops of her skirt and kissed the hell out of her, emotions exploding between us.
Forgetting to breathe was easy when our lips were locked together. My hands made their way around her body, and I caged her between my body and the counter before I broke the kiss. I refused to open my eyes until I had tattooed every single detail of the moment into my memory. When I opened them, Addie was looking at me with heat in her eyes and a sexy-as-fuck smirk on her face. Fuck the pizza; I wanted to be balls deep inside my girl.
“Babe, up.” I bent and grabbed the back of her thighs as she wrapped her arms around my neck. When I straightened, she hooked her ankles at the small of my back and pressed herself against me the entire way to my bedroom.
“How was work today? I thought you were burnt out.” I chuckled and shifted to sit face to face with her. After making love to her, I brought the cold pizza back to my bedroom where we ate in bed and talked.
“I was.” She licked pizza sauce from her thumb. “But I can’t help myself when we’re together.”
“I know what you mean.” I kissed her cheek.
“Jordan and Blake ran me ragged. Those two kids have way too much energy, and I’m not sure how the sun didn’t tucker them out. They hung off me all day at the pool.”
“Babe, how can you expect two little kids not to want to hang out with you? Plus, you’re hot—even seven‑year‑old kids can see that.”
Addie smacked my arm. “They do not think that! You are such a Neanderthal sometimes, you know that?”
“Hey, you’re my girl. It’s my job to be the jealous, over‑protective boyfriend, especially when you’re in your swimsuit.” I pulled her a little closer and nibbled the side of her neck, but I knew she was rolling her pretty blue eyes at me.
“How was your day?”
“Same ol’ thing. Clock in, off load materials, eat lunch, and repeat.”
“Sounds like fun.” She laughed.
“I don’t know about fun.” I felt my face drop.
“So are you? Driving with me to North Carolina?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Good. My dad doesn’t want me taking my car until I’m settled, so I mentioned that you offered to drive me. He said that was fine and that maybe after the first year when I know my way around the area, I can drive it back.”
“That makes sense.” Of course it did, and besides, I wanted to be able to drive her. Follow her as far as I could, all the way to her new doorstep. Just imagining the feeling of having to leave her behind made my stomach cramp.
“RJ?”
“Yeah, babe?”
She paused. “What are you going to do while I’m away? I mean . . . how are we going to make this work? We never really discussed it in detail, and I know you’ve been avoiding it. Honestly, so have I, but—”
“But what, Addie?” I sat up straight and stared at her. Her eyes welled with tears, and my stomach sank. Was this going to be her good‑bye? If it was, I didn’t want to hear it. Not now. Not ever. I swiped my thumb under her eye, but then she swatted my hand away and wiped the few tears that fell away herself.
“It’s . . . I just feel like I’m holding you back. Here I am going off on a new adventure, and I just expect you to be here waiting for me when I get back.”
“You don’t want me to wait?” She shrugged but wouldn’t meet my gaze. “Addie, what are you saying?”
“I’m not sure what I’m trying to say. That’s what’s making this even more stressful, I’m just so confused.” She looked away.
“Hey, this is me you’re talking to. You can tell me whatever is on that beautiful mind of yours.” Except that you don’t want me, I added silently.
She forced a smile. “I just feel so selfish. I wish you could come with me, but I know that’s not realistic. I just hope you don’t resent me later, you know?”
“I’ll never be good enough for you, you know that?” I shook my head, floored by the fact that she was thinking about me when all I’d done is think about myself. How I felt about her leaving. How I would go on with her gone. How all of this affected me.
“Why would you say something like that?” She scooted back until she was sitting against the headboard. I locked her pinky finger with mine.
“Because it’s true, but no matter what happens in life, just remember that we made a promise to one another.”
She kissed our linked fingers. “I will never forget.”
She was too far away from me, so I pulled her hand until she was in my lap and I wrapped my arms around her. “You know there is nothing that makes me happier than you naked in my lap, but what do you say we get dressed and move this to the living room before my parents show up and catch us red‑handed?”
“Good idea.”
I set the pizza box on the coffee table at the same time my parents walked through the front door.
“Hey, there, what are you two up to?” My mom kissed the top of my head and gently squeezed Addie’s shoulder.
“Hi, Addilyn—son.” My dad greeted us before making his way to his office.
“Nothing much.” I yawned, which made Addie yawn, too.
“Hey, I think I’m going to head home. The day is finally catching up with me.” She yawned again.
I stood from the couch and held my hand out for her. “You want me to drive you home? You can pick up your car tomorrow.”
She shook her head. “No, I’ll be fine. Thank you, though.” She kissed my cheek.
“Addilyn, if you’re exhausted, you’re more than welcome to sleep in the guest room.” My mother offered, and I looked at her like she just grew three heads.
“What?” My mother’s face remained serious, but I saw the tenderness in her eyes. “Well, it is late, and it’s not like we don’t have a guest bedroom.”
My jaw slacked, and I heard Addie giggle.
“Thank you, Mrs. Watson, but I’ll be okay.”
“Very well then, goodnight, dear,” my mother said before kissing Addie on the cheek.
I walked her out, and as soon as we made it to her car, Addie leaned against the door. “I can’t believe your mom asked if I wanted to sleep over.”
“Me either. You sure you don’t want to stay?” I grabbed her hand and laced our fingers together. “I could sneak into your bed after they fall asleep.”
“You’re crazy,” she said with a light laugh.
Addie pulled me closer by the front of my shirt. Our lips hovered until she wrapped her arm around my waist and threw me off balance. I slapped my palms on the window to keep from smashing her between me and the cold metal. Our mouths fused together, and she smiled into our kiss.
“I think you should stay the night,” I murmured against her lips as I rolled my hips against hers. She shook her head and delved her tongue deeper into my mouth.
Finally, we came up for air and Addie clutched her hands in my shirt and rested her forehead on my chest. “I love you, RJ. I love you so much. What are we going to do?”
The front porch light flickered off and then on again. I hated that my mother was signaling me to call it a night. Or, worse, she wanted to talk.
I pressed a goodnight kiss to Addie’s lips. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure it out, and I love you, too.” I took a step back and
opened her door for her. “Come on, it’s late. You should head home.”
Standing there with the weight of the world on my shoulders, I waited until Addie drove out of sight. But then I remained standing a little longer, the worry in her voice replaying in my mind. This was the last thing I needed her to be worried about right before starting a new chapter in her life. I didn’t need her being worried about me and what I was going to do while she was away. She needed to concentrate, enjoy her college years, and make the best of it. My head kept telling my heart that she deserved someone better than me and that I had nothing to offer. I was being a selfish ass for not letting her have it all, but I didn’t know how to let her go.
I cracked my neck, rolled my shoulders, and prepared myself for what was waiting on the other side of our front door.
Sure enough, my mother was standing there waiting for me. She was also holding the crumpled rejection letter in her hand.
“Where’d you get that?”
“I’ve had it for a while.”
A combination of disappointment and sadness shone in her eyes, and my posture tensed. I didn’t dare look her straight in the eyes, I hated that I was a disappointment. I settled for a deep breath and concentrated on the family photo hanging on the wall behind her.
“RJ, why didn’t you ever say anything?” Her tone was one only a mom could have. It was supportive, understanding, and free of all judgment all at the same time. It wasn’t at all what I was expecting.
“I don’t know. There wasn’t anything to tell really. I never actually thought I would get in.”
“If you wanted to go away to school, I would have helped. Gotten tutors, helped with applications. You know I would have.”
“I know, Mom.”
“Did you tell Addilyn?”
I gave my head a very small shake. She let the silence hang between us, and it was so thick I could have sworn I could hear the pieces of the puzzle clicking together for her. I knew I wouldn’t get in. I didn’t do it for myself. I did it for . . .
“You have to let her lead her own life, you know?” she said gently. “I know you love her. I see it in your eyes. You’re a good man, RJ, but you’re both so young. You have the rest of your lives to settle down.”
“Mom,” I warned, but there wasn’t any bite to my words. I knew she was right, although, I didn’t want to hear it. Just like I didn’t want to hear what Ty’s dad was telling either.
Holding her hand up, she continued. “Honey, I’m worried, that’s all. What’s going to happen when she leaves?” She stepped forward and gently pressed her palm to my cheek. “I love you, and I’m worried that because you’re spending so much time supporting Addie and her dreams that you aren’t going to find your own.” She raised one eyebrow, and I pinched my lips together. She didn’t know that I already failed at my own dream. She must have taken my silence as agreement, because she continued, “Remember that saying ‘If you love someone set them free, if they come back to you it was meant to be’?”
“What if I don’t want to set her free?” I asked, my hands balled into fists.
Her face and hand dropped. “Then you just might get left behind.” My mother kissed my cheek and left me standing there with my heart in my throat. She was right, but how would I find the courage to let her go?
“Hey, Mrs. M.” I greeted Addie’s mom as she let me in. “You look real pretty.”
“Why thank you, sweetheart, that’s very kind of you. Since I don’t have my babies to fret over much longer, I’m finding time to do things for myself. I’ve even started taking a yoga class.”
“That’s real good, Mrs. M.” She patted my shoulder.
“She’s in her room—packing I think.”
“Thanks.”
I continued down the hallway but came to a halt when I realized Addie was talking to someone. The door to her bedroom was cracked open, so I listened for a second until I made out that the other voice belonged to Piper.
“Oh my god, Ads. The guys in Texas are freaking HOT!”
“Piper!” She giggled. “Shh, my mom’s home. So, did you make the squad?”
“Heck, yes! And I already hooked up with the quarterback . . . twice. I cannot believe how much fun this is, and school hasn’t even started yet. I wish you came to Texas with me. I don’t know how you’re going to start college with a boyfriend. I mean RJ’s cool and all, and I know y’all love each other, but . . .”
“Piper, I don’t know. He’s been pulling back a little bit, and it scares me. I don’t know what to do. I mean, is it fair to him for me to hold onto him? Make him wait for me? It just doesn’t seem fair to either of us, but I love him so much. I don’t know what to do.”
“Honestly, Addie?” There was a short pause. “I would never start college knowing I was tied down. Heck, why do you think I ended it with Collin? This is a time to explore and find ourselves. It’s great and all that you two had each other while in high school, but are you ready to commit to one person for the rest of your life?” Piper’s voice softened and I had to really concentrate on what she was saying. “He’s already asked you to marry him. Doesn’t that tell you something?”
What the fuck kind of bullshit was Piper filling my girl’s head with?
They laughed a little more, but then Addie’s voice softened. “It tells me he loves me.” There was a short pause, and if I had closed my eyes, I would have been able to picture the skeptical look on Piper’s face. Then Addie spoke again, changing the subject.
“It really does sound like you’re having a good time.” They both squealed. “I know, right, but you can’t change the subject. What are you going to do? You can’t have sex with only one person your entire life. Besides, you can’t honestly tell me you think it will work? You are way smarter than that. You know how many people walk into college attached to someone back home and fuck it all up.”
“I don’t know, Piper. I mean I could see me and RJ lasting.”
“But do you want to?” Piper asked, but then she kept talking, “Whatever, we should start planning for you to visit. You know what they say about everything being bigger in Texas.” Piper laughed. “What about Thanksgiving break?”
“Piper, my parents would kill me,” Addie shrieked.
“Oh, live a little, would you? You’ve been tied down for way too long. This is your time to have fun, you’re going to be hundreds of miles away . . . what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
What the fuck?
I pressed my palms against the wall to stop my hands from shaking. Addie hadn’t told Piper to go kick rocks. She didn’t say anything. Would she cheat on me? Could I trust Addie?
A wave of nausea rolled through my stomach, and my fingers curled, pressing hard into the drywall. I wanted to punch a hole in the fucking wall. Better yet, I wanted to take that damn computer, chuck it out the fucking window, and run it over with my truck. How the fuck could Piper fill Addie’s head with all that bullshit? No, this was Addie. My girl. She loved me. I know she did. I dropped my hands to my sides and took a deep breath. When I felt like I was okay enough to see her, I cleared my throat and walked into her room.
Addie sat at her desk with her foot propped up on the chair so she could paint her toenails. I pulled a bag of peanut M&M’s from my pocket and tossed it next to her computer. When I bent to give her a kiss on her cheek, my eyes shifted to her bed.
Her neatly folded clothes waiting to be stuffed into her suitcase had my hand balling into a fist again. I walked over to her bed, noting all her clothes and cute panties. Then, just to the left of the pile, was the little green compact with her birth control pills. It knocked me sideways. I glanced over my shoulder, and the look of guilt on her face didn’t disappear fast enough for me to miss. She smiled and looked back at Piper from her laptop screen.
“Hey, Piper, let me call you later, okay?”
“Sure thing, girly, and remember we need to start planning.” Piper blew Addie a kiss. “Hey, RJ.” She waved.
; “Hey.” I wanted to give her the finger, but the nice guy in me waved instead.
“Okay, talk to you soon,” Addie rapped before closing her laptop.
“I didn’t expect you so soon.” She was already moving toward me for a hug.
“I told you I’d be here at five, it’s quarter past,” I answered and cleared my throat in hopes of riding out my obvious irritation.
“Thank you for the candy.” She pointed to the yellow bag on her desk, and when she looked at me, she took a step back. “Why are you upset?”
“I’m not upset.” I turned away from her and pinched the bridge of my nose, taking in a deep breath. I didn’t want to lie, but I also didn’t want her knowing I was eavesdropping and pissed about her taking her pills with her.
“RJ, will you talk to me please?” Addie grabbed me by the crook of my elbow.
“Why do you need to take those with you?” I pointed to the compact.
Her eyes darted to her bed and then back to me. “Why wouldn’t I take them? I’ve been taking them, no sense in stopping now.”
“Unless you’re planning on sleeping with somebody other than me, there really is no need.”
Her eyes darted to the bed again and back to me. She cocked her head to the side. “What are you trying to say?”
“Nothing. I’m not saying anything. You wanna go and grab something to eat?”
“Will you look at me please?”
I hesitated before turning back around to face her.
“RJ, I know you heard Piper and me talking.” She held a finger to my lips. “Piper is Piper. You know how she is.”
“I do.” I nodded.
“I want you, but seriously, RJ, is it fair to make you wait for me?”
“What!” I was two seconds from flipping my shit.
“It was just a thought. I hate to leave you behind. It seems so selfish.” She pressed her palms to my chest, and I reached up and encircled both her wrists. “I love you, and we made a promise—one I intend on keeping.” She stuck her pinky finger out. “But, I’ve been wondering lately if I’m holding you back.”
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