Reclaiming Us

by Richard, Nicole

  When she didn’t move to pull away from me, I wrapped my arms around her and held onto her for dear life, hoping she knew just how sorry I was.

  “Addie?” She pulled away from me and opened her eyes. “At Ty’s funeral, when you offered me your friendship, did you mean it?”

  “Of course I did.” She stumbled over her words. “I do, I thought it might be good if we could help each other through this. I have an idea of how much this is affecting you.” Making a show of cautiously raising my hand, I brushed the back of my knuckles against her cheek. “RJ.” She choked. “I can’t do this.”

  “Shh, Addie. I’m just thankful to have my best—my friend back.” She took a step back. “Hey, no one said this would be easy,” I admitted tenderly.

  When she didn’t answer right away, an irrational fear taunted me, saying we could never just be friends. She had a fiancé, and once he caught wind of her friendship with her ex‑boyfriend . . . her ex‑lover . . . the man that took her virginity, he’d lose his fucking mind and I would lose her all over again.

  Fuck that, she was mine first, and if I remembered correctly, my mother told me before Addie left that if she came back it was meant to be. Well, she was here, and that was the first step in getting her to come back. It also helped that her not wearing her ring all the time told me there just might still be that chance.

  “You’re right, it won’t be. But I think it would be really good to at least be friends again.”

  “Oh my goodness, Evin! I can’t believe I never brought you here. You’d absolutely love this place.” I sipped my coffee as I looked around the coffee house and pressed my phone to my ear.

  “Where are you again? And why are you out so early on a Saturday morning?” She covered up a yawn.

  “BJ’s Coffee Corner. It’s a cute little coffee shop slash bakery with a cozy book corner. All the baked goods are homemade, and the freshly brewed Kona coffee is to die for.”

  “Hmm . . . sounds delicious, I just might have to make a pit stop.” She laughed at her own absurdity. “But tell me about the book corner part of it.”

  “Well, it’s this really warm and cozy corner lined by red brick and a sheet of glass looking out into the city. There are books for days . . .” The next thing I was going to say disappeared as my eyes landed on the man who just walked through the door.

  “Hello, Addie? Hello . . .”

  “Oh, hey, sorry about that.” I cupped my hand over my phone and ducked my head. “RJ just walked in.”

  “Oh! And?”

  “He’s headed this way. Let me call you back.” I hung up.

  RJ stood mere inches from the chair in front of me, looking freshly showered and devastatingly handsome with a knowing smile on his face.

  “Good morning. Are you working?” He nodded his chin toward my little pile of messy papers. I looked down and then back at him.

  “I was . . . or trying to at least.”

  “Mind if I join you?” He gripped the back of the chair with both of his hands and leaned forward, the action making his biceps bulge and my mouth water. Then, my brain came back online and stuttered to catch up. Join me? Why did he want to join me?

  I took a sip of coffee and nodded from behind the cup. I knew we agreed to be friends, but did that mean we would hang out? Can it be that easy between the two of us so soon?

  As he settled into his seat, it was as if his presence triggered the butterflies fluttering around in my belly, which was such a new feeling . . . or old, depending on how I looked at it. One thing I was certain of was that I couldn’t recall the last time Jase made me feel butterflies.

  “What brings you by?” I wrapped both hands around my cup. “I don’t remember you being a fan of coffee.”

  RJ’s brows pinched, and he steepled his hands in front of him. If I hadn’t known RJ as well as I did, I would have said every movement was done purposefully to show off a new set of muscles he hadn’t had in high school. I did know RJ, though, and he wasn’t the type of guy who knew he was sexy as hell. A jolt of hot lust filtered through me, my thighs clenched under the table, and I mentally berated myself for thinking of RJ as sexy.

  Uh oh.

  “My mom loves the muffins. I love the coffee, and being the wonderful son that I am, I thought I’d grab something and surprise her.”

  I smiled. He would forever be a mama’s boy. “I knew what you meant.”

  “Do you come here often?” he asked without taking his eyes off me, making a casual question a little unnerving.

  “Not really. I kind of stumbled upon this place a month or two ago.”

  Our eyes shifted on indecisive glances as we sat there, and I tried to figure out something intelligible to say. “Aren’t you going to get your coffee and muffins?” I glanced over at the barista, who was busy taking orders.

  “Will this seat be here waiting for me?” I could see the hope in his eyes as he asked, but I made him sweat for a few seconds.

  “Sure.”

  “Can I get you anything?” He nodded to my half empty cup as he slid from his chair.

  “No, thank you.” I tried so hard not to let my eyes skate over him, but I failed, which made the butterflies go crazy again. If I reacted that way each time his muscles flexed under his shirt, I was looking for a lot of trouble.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  He went to stand in line, and I internally searched for all the animosity I held toward him for the last seven years. It was all gone. I sank back against my chair, amazed by how quickly it just up and left. I picked up my phone and shot off a quick text to Jase, confirming our plans to spend spring break together in Charleston.

  “Hey.” He set his coffee and muffins down before sliding into his seat. I made eye contact and smiled.

  “Hey.” He chuckled. “Here.” He slid half his muffin toward me. “Try it. It’s cinnamon swirl, your favorite.”

  He remembered.

  “I can’t believe you remembered.” I broke off a piece of my muffin and popped it in my mouth.

  “We always shared—” RJ cleared his throat and shifted his eyes, bringing them back to me. “What have you been up to since you got back?”

  “Teaching.” I fidgeted, not wanting to give him more. Then, he gave me the same look he used to give me when he was waiting, and I cracked. “Come to think of it, not a whole lot really. Grace and your brother have their family. Cy and Natalie are working on their relationship. Monique is getting cozy with Neiman, and Evin lives so far away I don’t get to see her as much as I would like to.” I rushed out, telling him about everyone but the one person I was sure he wanted to know about.

  “Teaching, huh? What happened to principal with the shiny name plaque on your desk?” He took a sip of his coffee, winced, and then reached for some sugar packets.

  “Things change.” What I really wanted to say was people changed, but I left it at that. “What about you?”

  “Work. Work. And work.” He chuckled. “Who’s Evin?”

  “She was my college dorm mate and best friend.”

  His phone buzzed, and he glanced at it, typed out a reply, and then looked back to me, looking a bit sheepish as he slid his phone back into his pocket. “It was Lilly; she wants to meet up a little later.”

  “Oh.” I didn’t know how to process that.

  He cocked his head to the side, and I followed his eyes as they flicked to my hand. I didn’t realize I had been fiddling with my pinky finger.

  “I see you never got it removed.” He flicked his chin toward my hand.

  I shook my head slowly, watching his reaction as I spoke softly. “What about you?”

  He stuck his pinky finger out. “I actually had it redone once.” He looked away. “It started to fade . . . I’m still surprised you have it.”

  “Are you kidding? Did you forget how painful it was getting this thing?” I laughed in a not so friendly tone and took a sip of coffee. I couldn’t go there with him, not just yet. “Tell me more about you and Ty.
Did you keep in touch?”

  “Yeah, Ty would come down and visit every so often when he wasn’t deployed. We’d hang out and catch up. Lilly came home a few times, too, but it always felt like something—or maybe someone—was missing.”

  By his unfocused gaze, I knew he was feeling nostalgic, and I let him have his moment.

  When our eyes found each other’s again, he asked, “Hey, are you free next Friday night?” I stared at him, and not knowing exactly what he was asking, I shifted in my seat. “Relax, Addie. I’m watching my niece and nephew and am wondering if you’d like to hang out and babysit with me.”

  “You’re watching Drew and Maddie?” I asked, and then blushed scarlet. I didn’t intend to sound so rude. RJ sat back, crossing his arms again and smirking.

  “Why is that so hard to believe? AJ and Grace want a night out alone with each other, which they don’t get very often. I love my niece and nephew to pieces—so I offered. Besides, I’m sure Grace’s aunt and my mother could use a break.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. You just caught me off guard.” I also secretly loved that he included Drew in the family count.

  “Make it up to me by saying you’ll come hang out.”

  Doing a quick mental debate, I convinced myself that not much harm could come of two old friends sharing a babysitting job. “I’d love to, text me your address.”

  RJ: good morning. Is it crazy to ask if you’d want to meet me for breakfast?

  It was the text message I woke to, so it wasn’t surprising that RJ had been the only person on my mind. Yesterday, after the awkwardness had worn off, it was nice to sit and talk to him. I picked up the phone, looked at the message, and typed out a reply. Then, I deleted it.

  How was I supposed to answer that? I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. I also definitely couldn’t have rumors flying around, somehow getting back to Jase. Not that I believed I was doing anything wrong, but if Jase found out what RJ and I used to mean to one another, he would never be okay with it. He would question everything about RJ, and I’d have to start at the beginning. He would accuse me of hiding something and grill me to no end about why I never told him about RJ and me. There would be no convincing him that it was innocent. I wanted to see RJ again, though, so I picked my phone back up.

  Me: How about you come over? I’ll cook us breakfast.

  RJ: Sounds good. Be there in five?

  Me: See you then.

  I shot him my address and then headed to the kitchen to double‑check I had the ingredients on hand to cook a decent meal for two. Rummaging through the open refrigerator and freezer, I pulled out eggs, bacon, and biscuits. It wasn’t gourmet, but it was going to be yummy.

  I set the oven to preheat, and a thumping sound hit the kitchen window. When I turned and saw that nothing or no one was there, I assumed it was a bird and it fell to the ground. Cardinals were famous for doing that. I pulled a bowl from the cabinet and then grabbed an egg, but another thump came from the window, and I spun. Nothing was there.

  That was odd.

  I took careful steps to sink.

  On my tiptoes, I stretched my body over the sink, checking if I could see anything outside the window when I thought I would suffer a heart attack.

  RJ popped up from the ground, and I screamed so loud that the strength of my voice caused me to stumble backward, falling flat on my butt and dropping the egg that was still in my hand.

  “Randall John Watson!” I scolded in the loudest voice I could possible drum up as I glared between the window and the broken egg.

  “Morning, Addie.” RJ greeted from across the screen, trying not to chuckle but failing miserably.

  “Always an ass,” I mumbled loud enough for him to hear.

  “If it makes you feel better, I brought coffee and muffins.” He held up a coffee cup and a kraft‑colored package with our favorite coffee corner’s label.

  I dusted my palms together and picked myself up from the floor. “I do have a front door—with a doorbell.” I sassed and shook my head. Seconds later, I unlocked the door and welcomed him in. “I’ll forgive you if you clean up the egg.”

  “Good morning. You got it.” He stepped in and kissed me on the cheek. I froze.

  This was all too familiar. How did he make it so easy between us?

  “You’re lucky, you know that?” I locked the door and faced him. “That coffee in your hands just saved you.” I swiped the cup from him and took a sip before finally finding the strength to walk right past him. It would be a bit of a lie if I said I didn’t get the tiniest bit of satisfaction from the way he cleared his throat a few times before following me.

  It was strange having him back in my space. It was a different house, and we weren’t the same people we were before, but it was strange nonetheless. A part of me wanted to fall right back into the comfortable vibe we had when we were younger, but another part wanted me to build my wall a little higher.

  “Did you want bacon, eggs, and biscuits?” I asked, my back facing him.

  “Only if you’re going to make some for yourself as well. If not, there are enough muffins here for two breakfasts.” He grabbed some paper towels and cleaned up the mess on the floor as I pulled a pan out and set it on the stove to heat.

  He held the bakery bag suspended in front of me, and I stiffened. If the bag was that close, that meant he was even closer. “Relax, Addie,” he whispered, and the warmth of his breath tickled the back of my neck, making traitorous goose bumps march down my arms. I flicked off the heat after I realized my hands were shaking too much to actually cook anything.

  “I am relaxed, and muffins sound great.”

  “Is it okay to take a seat?”

  After nodding my head, I waited until he took a step back before I turned around. If RJ picked up on my unease, he never said a word as he pulled out a chair.

  Opening two napkins, he placed a cinnamon swirl muffin on one and a blueberry muffin on the other.

  “Did you want to try the blueberry?” he asked then licked some blueberry off his thumb. My eyes lingered on his finger, but before he caught me watching him, I turned them to the muffins.

  “It doesn’t matter. I’ll take whichever one you don’t want.”

  After that little show, which was way more effort I would have put into choosing, RJ slid me both muffins with a very serious look on his face. “Choose.”

  I reached for the muffin on the left without taking my eyes from his. It was one of those moments where I knew he was trying to break the lingering tension between us, but it made my stomach twist a bit. I hadn’t allowed myself to really remember just how playful RJ could be. It was always one of his best qualities. I tried to play it cool, but then his mouth pulled into a half smirk, and I wanted to shove the table out of the way and kiss him. I didn’t, of course, but I wanted to. Instead, I looked to see which muffin I got.

  Cinnamon roll.

  “Good choice, but now you’ll never know just how good this muffin really is,” he teased, ripping off a chunk of the blueberry muffin.

  He made the muffin look like the Gods themselves made it, and my mouth watered.

  RJ’s smirk was back—he knew exactly what he was doing and what I was thinking. He didn’t call me out on it. He just reached into the bag and pulled out another blueberry, setting it next to the one I already had in front of me. “I knew you liked the cinnamon, but figured I would get you one of each. Covering all my bases, you know?” By the way he darted his eyes to look away, I figured he knew I wouldn’t miss his double meaning. But it didn’t take long before the short bout of weirdness flew out the window, and we fell into a comfortable conversation. Until RJ’s words caught me a little off guard. “Ty’s dad called me last night.”

  “Oh, and how is he? How’s Sue?”

  “He sounded more concerned with how I was doing.”

  I nodded in understanding. “And how are you doing? I know I asked before, but—”

  “Better I think.”
He took a bite and then continued as he brushed crumbs from his fingers, “Honestly?” he asked as he looked me dead in the eyes.

  “It’s the only answer that matters.”

  “Since we agreed to be friends again, I feel like this whole thing is bearable. I mean, I’ll always miss him, and it hurts that I’ll never get to see him again, but something tells me that with you here—being my friend.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. It’ll be okay, right?” I was glad I could be there to help him through all of this. I was sure, with time, we would all find a way to go on and find a new normal. We would never forget Tyler, and neither of us wanted to forget our friend. We needed to continue with our lives and just make sure to keep him alive in our hearts.

  “Hey, I have an idea.” I sat up, leaning my elbows on the table.

  RJ matched my enthusiasm. “Yeah?”

  “How about we take our coffees to the living room, and I’ll go and grab my yearbooks and whatever old pictures I have? I’m sure looking at how much fun we used to have is a good step toward healing.”

  RJ smiled the most genuine smile I had ever seen. “That actually sounds kind of fun.” It was only after I had mentioned it that I realized most of the stuff I had stashed away was of RJ and me as a couple. He needed this time for healing, so if that meant I had to put my own hurts aside, I would.

  RJ stood and nodded to my half‑eaten muffin. I nodded and tossed both our trash before grabbing the paper coffee cups. “Meet you in the living room?”

  “Yeah, give me a second to find everything.”

  “Got it.”

  It took me almost five minutes to find what I thought I had placed on the top shelf of my closet. Apparently, things were never where you think you left them. Somehow, my yearbooks made it under my bed.

  When I made it back to the living room, RJ was standing in front of the picture window, staring out at what had turned into a gloomy‑looking day. Suspended in time, I waited, taking in his form, appreciating the man he had become. Not to mention how sexy with that forearm sleeve of tattoos. Watching his back and the way it moved slow and deep as he took in each breath, I knew he was in deep thought. He buried his hands in his front pockets, and if I recalled correctly, this was a Watson brother trait that both AJ and RJ shared, which only happened when one of them was nervous or in deep thought.