RJ bowed his head and turned just enough to see me standing in the doorway. The resident butterflies did a quick swarm through my belly, and I was in need of a deep breath.
“I found them.” I pulled the books and photos against my chest and then proceeded into the living room. After setting everything down on the coffee table, I took a seat on the far end of the couch. When he sat next to me, RJ didn’t leave a cushion of space between us, which was either a curse or a blessing.
“The clouds rolled in quick, the rain is already falling.”
“I see.” I glanced toward the window and then back at him, lowering my voice. “Are you sure you want to look at these? It was just an idea; we don’t have to—not if it’s going to be too difficult for you.”
Apparently, after all these years, Addie hadn’t lost the ability to read me. My only saving grace was that she thought I was thinking about Tyler. Did she forget how much we loved each other? Was she even a little worried about what kind of old feelings this would stir up between her and me? I knew there were a lot of pictures of Tyler in there, which just reminded me that this was where it ended. I would never see him outside a photograph again.
“No, it’s okay. I’m sure it’ll be a little difficult to see a lot of these, but I’m sure remembering all the dumb shit we did together will help, too. Probably get a few good laughs.”
Addie sighed, laying her smooth hand on mine. “I’m sure we’ll get a lot of laughs,” she answered nervously. I nodded because she was right.
Scooting to the edge of my seat, I leaned forward and brought one of the yearbooks closer to me. Flipping over a few pages, I came to the index and dragged my finger down the list until I found Tyler’s name. Addie moved to sit on the floor in front of the table. Her profile was just as perfect as I remembered it. This might not be a good idea after all.
I abandoned the yearbook and let Addie set the pace as she thumbed through the pictures, separating them into piles. Each time a picture of me and her surfaced, she set it to her side out of sight.
“Here, look at these.” She handed me a small stack.
The first one was a photo of Ty and me, our trucks parked hood to hood in the campus parking lot, both of us standing in the truck beds with our arms thrown up in the air. “Where did you get these?” Neither of us were looking at the camera, but I remember the day. We had ditched school to drive down the coast. It was the one and only time Addie had ditched with me. She looked over at me, and I was shortly reminded of the young girl I once loved.
The one I still love.
“I was so scared that we were going to get in trouble that day.” She laughed and shook her head. “I’ve had these forever. Remember how much I loved to take pictures? I would print them and then pin them to the corkboard in my room. Whenever I printed new ones, I would take down the old ones and save them in my desk drawer.” She looked at me and smiled. “My mom took most of them down and put them in a Ziploc for safe keeping, but when I moved back to Savannah, she asked if I wanted some of the things from my room. She knew how much my pictures meant to me.”
It sounded like something her mom would do. That woman kept everything, and I would put money on her having every finger painting Addie had ever made stashed somewhere. I smiled and went back to skimming through the stack. Most of them were of Tyler and me, but there were a few thrown in with the four of us down at the dock on Lilly’s family property, at the beach, and random nights where we were just hanging out. About eight or nine pictures in, two pictures were stuck together—almost as if she had them pinned to her board and the punch hole connected them. I peeled the two pictures apart, and the second one was of Addie and me.
She was leaning back against my truck with her hands clasped loosely around my waist. I had my arms around her shoulders, and our foreheads were almost touching. I glanced to Addie, but she was engrossed in a new pile of pictures. My chest tightened as I pulled my eyes away from the one thing my heart yearned for and focused back on the picture.
It felt like just yesterday I had her wrapped in my arms, telling her how much I loved her. Loving her and reminding her every chance I could was something I never hesitated to do. A woman needed to know how much her man adored her.
After torturing myself with that happy, but painful reminder, I gently tossed the picture on the table toward Addie and pointed to it. “You forgot one,” and jerked my head toward her “secret” stash on the floor beside her. She didn’t comment or try to explain away the picture. She just picked it up and laid it down in the pile before continuing with her search. Imitating her silence, I went back to my own little stash.
The next picture was of Tyler, Lilly, and me, and I laughed aloud. Addie leaned toward me, craning her neck over to see what was so funny, so I flashed the photo toward her. “Remember this?”
I didn’t remember how the dare started, but somehow I had dared Lilly to give Tyler a piggyback ride. Just like Addie, Lilly would never back down from a dare. Tyler had tried to get out of it, saying he was too heavy and would hurt her, but she scoffed and crouched down. If I closed my eyes and listened, I could probably still hear her taunting him. Just as Addie snapped the picture, someone shifted, and Ty’s foot ended up kicking me in the nuts. The look of agony on my face and Tyler’s foot in my crotch was not only hilarious but also classic, even if it felt like I would never walk right again when it actually happened.
“I do. It’s a good thing I was already snapping the picture. If not, we might have missed the moment.” She laughed, and my breath caught. Before I could do something foolish, like run my fingers through her hair or kiss her, she held up another picture. “Remember this one? Lilly and I wanted to kill the two of you.”
“How could I forget? You and Lilly didn’t talk to us for the rest of the day.” It was a picture from when we all went tubing. Tyler and I decided it was a good idea to cannonball right next to them.
Addie threw her head back and laughed, and when I looked into her eyes, the last seven years hit full force. Pulled by the invisible string that had always connected us, I leaned forward. My eyes darted to her mouth as she rolled her lips. Thoughts of those sweet pink lips that I knew would taste like bubble gum and sunshine struck a chord where it had no business striking. I needed to taste her as much as I needed my next breath. I inched a little closer. My hand lifted to touch the side of her face, and I brushed a tear from her cheek. Her smile dropped, and so did my heart.
I pulled back and shook my head. “Shit.” I looked away. “I almost forgot that I’m supposed to meet AJ at the gym.”
“Of course. Thank you for the coffee and muffins.” Then she was on her feet and moving toward the door.
I had no idea what to say, so I just said the first thing that came to mind. “Are we still on for babysitting?”
She nodded but refused to look at me, which wouldn’t work for me. I slid my finger under her chin, gently lifting it until our eyes met. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay. Really. I’ll see you next Friday. Your place seven o’clock?”
I nodded and threw her the damn smile I knew she loved as I shoved my hands into my pockets. “Seven, six, five. . .” I rocked back and forth from my heel to toe. “Whatever works for you?” She gave me a smile of her own and shook her head as she opened the door for me. “See you soon, Addie Mae.”
When we were younger, I was the only one who ever used her first and middle name together, and she didn’t try to correct me.
“See ya, RJ.”
She closed the door, and I felt like an idiot completely forgetting about the fact that it was storming out and I was going to get drenched running half a block to my parked truck.
“I don’t know, Mama. I’m not seeing how twelve months is going to be enough time to plan a wedding.” I unlocked my front door and then used my butt to close it. “I already missed the first dress fitting.” I went straight for my bedroom, dropped my bags on the floor, and plopped down on my bed.
>
“I’m here to help you. That’s what mothers do, and I’m sure you could get Evin to help. She is your maid of honor after all,” she replied, and I thought about how at one time Lilly was promised that duty. “Have you narrowed down a date?”
“No. Originally, I wanted a spring wedding, spring break maybe? But then I thought late May or early June might be a better idea.”
“Well, what does Jase have to say about it?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t asked him yet.”
“Haven’t asked him what, yet?” My heart raced as I spun to find Jase standing in my bedroom doorway. He walked into my bedroom, set his bag at the foot of the bed, and leaned over to kiss my cheek.
“Hey, Mama. Let me call you back, Jase just got in.”
“All right, I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Bye.” I hung up and scooted from the bed. “What are you doing here? It’s Wednesday. Aren’t you supposed to be working?” He pulled me into his arms, and it reminded me of how much I missed this.
“I got asked to change my schedule around this week. I got today and tomorrow off instead.” He pulled my chin up, smiled, and kissed my lips. “I missed you, baby, which is why I made the drive.” He moved to sit on the bed and pulled me to sit at his side. “Addie, I’ve been thinking.” He brushed the side of my cheek. “I’ve been a real jerk lately.” I didn’t correct him. “So much has been happening, and I’ve let it kind of take over everything. I hadn’t realized that it had pushed you away, too. I’m sorry.” His sincerity touched me, but then I felt guilty. While his apology was appreciated, it was unexpected. Yes, he had been distant, but I had also kind of been filling the void with thoughts of RJ.
Friends, Addie. You and RJ are just friends.
“Were you talking with your mom?”
I nodded, and he laid us on the bed and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“She was asking me if we narrowed down the choice of venues for the reception. I told her that you and I haven’t really had the chance to discuss it. We don’t even have a date set.” I turned to face him. “Maybe we should push it back a bit. We could always do a summer or even a winter wedding. It would give us more time to plan.”
“Is that what you want? More time?” The way he said ‘more time’ made me feel like he meant something else behind the words.
Maybe I did.
“I’m not sure. It’s just a lot to plan, and I don’t see how it’ll all get done in twelve months. There are caterers and flowers and dresses,” I rambled on. “Your parents are expecting us to have the wedding of the year.” I didn’t want a huge wedding. I never had. My dream was of a small, intimate wedding where I could converse and thank everyone personally for coming.
“Why don’t you let my mom handle it? She has connections to a couple of the best wedding planners. How about we concentrate on you and me for once? I missed you.” He held my cheek in his hand, and his eyes grew deep with desire.
“I missed you, too.” But as soon as I said it, I didn’t feel the truth behind it.
“Dinner was delicious, thank you.” Jase stood and took both our dishes to the sink. He rinsed the plates and forks before setting them in the dishwasher.
“Thank you. I could’ve done that.” I stood from the table.
“You cooked, so I clean.” He smiled, standing there with a look in his eyes I knew all too well.
“I’m going to take a shower,” I said, and he nodded. “I hate that I have to work tomorrow.”
“It’s all right. I’ll head out after you in the morning and get back at a decent time.”
“That sounds good. And we only have about five or six more months of this, but if I would have known you were going to do your residency in Charleston, I would have looked for something closer.”
He stepped away from the sink and pulled me into his arms. “Baby, don’t stress about it. We have a lot of things to think about, and as much as I hate it, too, it won’t be forever.” He pecked a little kiss on my nose. “Now go and take your shower. I got a call to make, and I’ll meet you in bed. We can watch a movie.”
“You’re right.” I sighed. “One day at a time.”
I didn’t take long in the shower. What I really wanted was my bed and to cozy up to Jase. Living apart was a bitch, and like I told him, had I known he would be doing his residency in Charleston, I would have waited to make the move back to Savannah until he could have made it with me.
I grabbed my toothbrush from the holder and groaned at the empty tube of toothpaste. The last time I did a shopping run, I shoved everything in the hall closet, too lazy to put everything away in their respective spot. I tossed the tube in the trash and made my way to the closet.
“I know. I’ll be there on Friday, I promise.” Jase spoke low, and I wondered who he could be talking to.
“Hey,” I said as he ended the call. My eyes shifted to his phone then back to him. “Who were you talking to?”
“Uhh . . . my dad.” His answer was perfectly normal, but what drew the red flag was his lack of eye contact. He turned around and pulled the comforter back. “You ready to get in?”
“After I brush my teeth.” I glanced at the towel I still had wrapped around my body. “And put my pajamas on.”
He slid into bed. “Why don’t you skip all of that, lose the towel, and just come to bed already.”
I swallowed hard and undid the knot between my breasts.
“Thank you so much for watching Drew and Maddie, we really appreciate it.” Grace handed my niece over to me while my brother carried in Maddie’s diaper bag, pack‑n‑play, and a backpack for Drew.
This whole adventure hadn’t started as a sleepover, but I was cool with it when AJ asked. I didn’t say anything to Grace since I was pretty sure AJ told her it was my idea. Besides, it was easier if they just picked them up in the morning or whenever they missed them really, I didn’t have any plans.
“Are you sure you’re okay with keeping them overnight?” Grace asked for the third time in as many minutes.
“I’m positive.”
“Grace,” AJ said, wrapping his arm around her, “the kids will be fine. RJ and I share the same mother, so if you’re comfortable with me watching the kids, then my brother will be no different. Please, can we just leave now?” He was already ushering her through the door, but she dug her heels in and stopped him. I pressed my lips together to hold back my laugh. He was definitely hard up for some alone time with his wife.
“Drew! Come say bye!”
Drew barreled toward us and made quick work of kissing his mom. “Night, Mom. Love you.” He pecked her cheek and gave her a quick hug before holding his closed fist up to AJ. “Night, Dad.” My brother fist bumped him, and then Drew was running back down the hallway to the living room where Maddie was already playing quietly.
“All right, Grace.” AJ clapped his hands. “Now, it’s really time to go. They’ll be fine, and RJ knows to call if he needs anything.”
Grace sighed and finally gave in, but neither AJ nor I missed the last, longing look she gave toward where her kids were.
“All right, thanks, bro.” AJ clapped my shoulder and leaned close to my ear, “We really appreciate this, and if you gotta call . . . call Mom. Once we get to our destination, I’m turning both phones on silent.” He chuckled and clapped my shoulder one more time before bounding down the steps with his wife in tow.
“Drew, you ready for some Super Mario Kart?” I asked after locking the door behind AJ and Grace. He was way ahead of me, though, and already had the console turned on. He handed me a remote—the pink one that Grace and Natalie insisted I buy “to represent the females”—and then took a seat on the couch.
“That’s for babies. Dad said you would let me play something cool like Mortal Kombat or Halo: Reach?”
“Uhh, buddy, if I let you play one of those games, I’m pretty sure your mom is going to kick my ass and never let me watch you and your sister again.” That alone could ruin any chance
I had of luring Addie back into my life. This was most definitely a good way to start.
“Uncle RJ, you said a bad word. Mom said we shouldn’t say those kinds of words.”
I softly shoulder bumped him. “Sorry, your mom is going to kick my butt.” I exaggerated, and he giggled, approving my language.
Seconds later, the doorbell rang, and Drew complained when I paused the game. I restarted it and let my avatar just sit on the track. “Go ahead and play while I answer the door.” I set my controller down and looked to make sure Maddie was content in her bouncy chair before I headed for the front door. Checking the peephole first, the sight of her standing on the other side stole my breath from me. I never imagined she’d be here.
I opened the door. Addie turned around, and the first thing to come out of her mouth was, “Where are the kids?” I felt as if I wasn’t even in the room.
“Hey. Please, come in.” My invitation was completely unnecessary since she was already inside.
“Hi. Kids. Where are they?” She smiled at her own impatience.
“I’ll give you three guesses, but the first two don’t count,” I said with a smile.
“Hmmmmm.” She pretended to think for a second. “You’re playing video games?”
“And someone give the beautiful girl a prize!” I said in my best-worst game show voice, which made her freeze.
Damn it.
Having her there just felt natural, and I hadn’t thought about what I was saying. Not that I thought stating the obvious would put her on edge, but it did, so I cleared my throat and backpedaled. “Drew’s in the living room, waiting to play video games.” I led her into the living room.
“Hey, Drew, Addie’s here.”
Drew waved his hand. “Hi, Miss M.”
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