“You are so going to get it when we make it home.”
The sound of him saying home and not “my house” did something to me. Being by RJ’s side again truly felt like coming home.
Coming to a screeching halt, RJ shifted the truck into park, shoved the truck door open, and hopped out, holding his hand out for me. When my feet touched the pavement, I stepped to the side, and he slammed the door shut.
My body buzzed with anticipation as we passed the threshold, but I walked deeper into the house. I keyed in to the distinct sound of the door shutting, two locks clicking, and RJ’s heavy footsteps on the ceramic tile. A heavy wave of desire flashed through me, waiting for his next move.
With hungry eyes, he stalked me backward toward the nearest wall until my back was pressed against it. His lips fell to my neck, one hand twisting into the back of my hair as the other guided one of my hands into his boxer briefs.
“You wanna play? Be my guest.” The edginess in his voice revealed his need as he worked his lips from my neck to my jaw, down to the base of my throat, and back up. My hair came loose, and I knew he had pulled the band from my ponytail. “You are so fucking sexy, you know that?” A round of lust‑filled bullets shot straight to my core, desperately needing him to satisfy the sexual ache I had growing at a rapid rate. “And beautiful. And mine.”
“Take your shirt off.” I needed his skin on mine and didn’t care if I sounded utterly desperate to have it. I felt him smile against my skin as he reached behind and pulled his Henley from the back of his neck and tossed it to the floor. That maneuver alone caused a shiver to creep up my spine, making my panties wet.
“You like, that, don’t you?” RJ aired, a cocky grin pulling at the corner of his lips. Helping me remove my hoodie and tank top, his eyes connected with my bare flesh, and a carnal sound erupted from deep within him, creating another stream of desire to flow from my head down to my toes.
Every nerve ending in my body tingled, my mind fogged over, and my legs felt weak. The space between my legs grew needy, and I slowly lowered to my knees, taking his jeans and boxer briefs with me as I went. I stroked him slowly before leaning forward and swirling my tongue around his tip, teasing him before taking him deep.
“Holy fuck,” he hissed as he hit the back of my throat. I hollowed my cheeks and sucked him hard. “What are you doing?” I mentally rolled my eyes and hummed. Did he really need to ask?
By his hands tangling tightly in my hair, it was clear he was struggling, grappling for control. Good. I pulled back and looked up to find him watching me, his eyes hooded with such lust it made my core clench.
“Fuck, that pretty mouth of yours feels good.” He groaned, twisting his hand tighter in my hair and encouraging me to take him deep again. I obliged and felt his thighs tense under my palms. “You always had a way of sucking—” I was yanked up, my body pressed tightly between the wall and his body as he sucked in harsh breaths, trying to regain control.
“You have no idea what you do to me.” RJ always had a way of making me feel like I was his main priority, and tonight was no different. He pushed his jeans and underwear past his thighs, and when he stepped out of his clothes, the look in his eyes requested I do the same.
Almost as soon as I wrangled my foot from my leggings, he hauled me by my ass and pressed my back to the wall. My legs locked around his waist, my arms around his neck, and I pressed my core against his hard length. I had never in my life thought I could actually combust from needing sex.
He took my need higher when his head dipped and he flicked his tongue against my hard nipple before closing his greedy mouth over my breast. Biting and sucking hard. Pleasure and pain had me arching and grinding against him. I tightened my hold around his neck, raking and digging my nails through his hair as I lifted my hips, sliding my sex against him, urging him to take me.
“You feel so damn good,” he moaned huskily as he slid into me. “So fucking warm.” He took control guiding me up and down, his fingertips pressed into my thighs. My sex tingled, and a heated frenzy broke loose. A flood of warmth prickled the skin between my shoulder blades down my back, and I felt the flush creep up from my neck to my cheeks.
Matching his need for control, I swiveled my hips, clenching myself around him, which made him suck in a strangled breath. I felt his restraint snap.
He locked his arms under my knees, opening me wider and pressing my body harder against the wall. A rush of white-hot lust shot straight to my pussy, and a slow coiling sensation broke out low in my belly.
“Faster . . . please.” A string of moans escaped me as I held onto him, taking everything and needing more. Then the wall was gone, and he held me tight against him as he moved to lay me on top of the table.
He panted out in short breaths, his palms pressed flat onto the table, his arms flexing deliciously taut as he braced himself over me. My heart was pounding out a furious beat as I panted and writhed under him, needing him to move.
RJ angled his head and dropped his mouth to mine, stealing a hungry kiss. Finally, blissfully slowly, he stroked, slow and strong and forceful. With each swirl of his tongue, his cock slid in and out of me, hitting that spot only he knew how to find. RJ fucked me senseless, forcing my body to lose control a little more with each thrust—with every whispered confession.
“I thought I lost you.”
I arched, needing to remind him that I was most definitely still there.
“Do you know how much you saved me?” he mumbled more to himself than to me and slid back in. “I love you. I promise to always love you.” He gained momentum before stopping and pulling me back into his arms and lifting me off the table. I didn’t complain as he carried me to the living room, set me on my feet, and bent me over the back of his couch, filling me again from behind. The open room echoed with the sounds and smells of sex.
He caressed the length of my spine until his hands reached my hips, gently pulling me back, causing me to arch against him. Between the heat of our bodies and the slickness of sweat on our skin, I was dizzy with desire. Then he moved his mouth close to my ear, moaning, and with each delicious stroke, he took me places and made me feel things I had never felt before.
“You like that, babe?” he asked in a hoarse voice.
“Um‑hm.” I struggled for breaths, reminding myself to breathe.
“Good. I love feeling your skin against mine. You’re the only one.” His hand roamed to my breast, where he took a minute to massage my swollen flesh and tease my nipple. Then, it moved down my belly until his fingers sank into my sex, rubbing gentle circles over my clit. I pushed back into him, holding onto the couch and driving myself into madness.
Still, he didn’t let me fall entirely back to earth before he flipped me over and pushed back into me, his fingers on my clit, and his mouth on my breast. He didn’t give me even a little time to catch myself before he threw me into another orgasm . . . and then another.
The third ripped through me, sapping everything—giving me more. I was completely sated and unable to move or process a coherent thought. Somehow, we had ended up on the floor in front of the couch, but I didn’t care.
“How,” I asked breathless as he collapsed next to me. “How did you. . . know how to—”
“Don’t.” He shook his head, pulling me so I was pressed against his chest. “Don’t ruin this with meaningless questions. You are all that matters. You are all that has ever mattered.”
We eventually made it to the bed, where he made love to me, slow and sweet, before we both found sleep. When I woke in his arms, I was full of an indescribable feeling. RJ lay next to me, taking in peaceful breaths. His long dark eyelashes fluttering with whatever dream he was in.
I stayed still and admired how handsome he had grown to be. At almost twenty‑seven, there were almost no traces of the boy left. He was all man. My fingers itched to touch his sexy five o’clock shadow or trace across his plump bottom lip, but I couldn’t resist running my finger down his brows to the tip of h
is perfect nose.
“Good morning, beautiful, did you sleep well?” A lazy grin pulled at the corner of his lips, but his eyes remained closed.
“How did you know I was awake?”
“Wild guess. Oh, and I could feel your breath against my cheek.”
I cupped my mouth. “Shoot. I didn’t brush my teeth yet.”
“Babe, quit.” He grabbed my wrist, pulling my hand from my mouth so he could kiss me. “This is definitely a good morning.”
He shifted, pulling me under him so his hard length pressed between my legs. He raised my still captured wrist above my head, his warmth surrounding me in a way no blanket could. Teasing me, working me up, his skillful fingers made their way down to my sex, and as he sank into me, I knew morning sex would be one of my favorites. It was quick and dirty and left us both panting and sweaty.
We were both trying to catch our breath when his phone rang. When he looked at it, his brows pinched, and then he turned it to face me. “Why are you calling me?”
The ringing stopped, and I laughed, knowing who it was. “It’s probably Evin.” The phone rang again, and this time he handed it to me.
“Hello.”
“Hey, I hope I’m not bothering you?”
“No, it’s okay. What’s up?” RJ sighed as he dropped to his back, showing off a pout.
“Well, you forgot your phone, and Jase has been blowing it up all night.”
“Did he say what he wanted?” I asked out of pure reflex, not giving one flip about what he wanted or needed.
“I didn’t answer, but when he came over, pounding on the door like a freaking lunatic close to midnight, slurring shit that he loved you, that you two weren’t over, and that he made a big mistake.” She laughed a short, sarcastic laugh. “I told him to take a fucking hike.”
“What! He’s not going to let up is he?” I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.
“Probably not, but I did tell him you were with your boyfriend, so he should suck it up and admit defeat.” She laughed. This time it was genuine and at the expense of Jase. “So, everything okay, you two work things out?”
I snuck a glance at RJ, whose smile stretched with amusement and eyes danced mirth. “Yeah, we worked things out.”
RJ slid from the bed and pointed to the bathroom door, so I nodded, watching the way his muscles flexed as he headed for a shower.
“Addie?” Evin’s voice came through the line.
“I’m here,” I answered, trying to keep an even tone and not give anything away.
She chuckled softly. “I just wanted to let you know I was heading out.”
“I wish you didn’t have to leave. You should move down here already. I would love to have my best friend close.” It was completely selfish to keep asking, but I wanted my friend to be close to me.
“I’m seriously thinking about it.”
“Fair enough, will you call me the minute you get in?”
“Always do.”
“Thanks. Love you, Ev, and thank you for everything.”
“Ditto, I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Talk to you soon.”
It had been hard not to listen in on her conversation. I could hear Evin clear as day as she told Addie about that prick coming by last night, talking about what an idiot he had been. I knew I didn’t have anything to worry about, but it still made me uneasy.
“Will you go somewhere with me?” I asked as I set her bag down for her. As much as I wanted to leave it in the truck and keep her naked all day, I knew she wanted to get dressed.
“Thanks. Where did you want to go?” She dug through the bag, and I kept my eyes mesmerized on her until she pulled out her brush. “I was thinking maybe we could go to Ty’s grave together.”
“Are you going to be okay?” she asked softly, turning and placing her hand on my chest. “I know how hard this is for you.”
“I think I’ll be okay.” I pulled her hand up to my lips. “But all I can think about is how having you here is almost too good to be true. I need to stare a bit longer to make sure you’re really here and not a figment of my imagination.”
“It’s not,” she replied, staring back at me.
“What is it?”
As her head tilted heavenward, she sucked in a deep breath and when she blew it out she asked, “Is it bad that I’m not hurting like I’m supposed to?”
My face fell blank, and I surveyed her eyes. Those beautiful sapphire‑colored eyes begged me to give her the answer she wanted to hear, but even after a minute of trying to come up with an answer, I was still unsure of the right thing to say.
“Babe.” I scratched the back of my head with a nervous hand. “I’m not sure how to answer that.”
Her forehead fell to my chest. “It’s everything is happening so fast . . . ending my engagement, hooking up with you—”
Feeling the effects of her verbal slap, I gently grabbed the tops of her arms, stopping her right there. “We are not ‘hooking up’.” A tortured growl crawled up my throat. Addie looked up and took a step back. Holding her face in my hands, I made sure she got a good look at me.
How could she think for one second that was all this was between us? We were never a hook‑up. “Babe, hook‑ups are temporary.” I dropped one of my hands from her cheek and gestured back and forth in the empty space between us. “We were never temporary. You and me, that’s always been permanent, like the words we share tattooed on our skin.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it the way it came out.”
“I told you we take this at whatever pace you need.”
She nodded, shifting her eyes away from mine. “It’s just that I’m not sure what I should tell people, mainly my parents. Is it wrong that I got out of one relationship and jumped into a new one with you? I know I’m an adult and all, but keeping my parents’ respect means a lot to me.”
I sighed, hating the direction this conversation was heading but also understanding where she was coming from. Who was I kidding? I knew at some point this would happen and this was the main reason I told her there was no going back. She could kick and scream all she wanted, she could try to run, but she was mine.
I sat on the bed and gently brought her to stand between my legs. “Addie, we can tell your parents whatever you need to tell them. We do this together. Plus, I’m not sure how you think we are rushing into anything. We’ve given ourselves almost seven years to make sure this is what we want, and that doesn’t include the three years we actually spent as a couple before that.” I waited, giving her a second to let my words sink in. “If you ask me, we’re moving slower than my granny strolling in her walker. We should be married and have at least three kids by now”—I kissed her flat stomach—“and pregnant with another one on the way.” Her eyes grew wide. “Lots of babies, Addie, I want you to have lots of my babies.” I pulled her down to lay on me and chuckled at the sound of her giggling.
“Well, when you put it that way, I guess you have a point.” Her giggles stopped abruptly, but her cheeky grin still pulled at her lips. “Lots of babies, huh?”
“Lots. I think five or six will do.”
She scoffed, trying to hide her beautiful smile. “You’re crazy.”
“Only for you, babe. Only for you.”
“Are you sure about this?” Addie asked as we pulled into the cemetery.
“I think so, yeah. That’s why I asked if you’d come with me. It seems like this has been easier to bear with you here.” I kissed the back of her hand as I scoped out the area and tried to remember where Ty’s gravesite was located.
This would be the first time I would set foot there since his funeral. I hadn’t come to visit him because I was actively avoiding it. I just didn’t feel like he was there, not like I did when I would be down at our spot.
“I think it’s right over there.” I followed Addie’s line of sight.
A small American flag sat in front of a granite headstone. I nodded, unable to form words as the realization
of what I was about to do hit home. How would I react to reading his name carved into the stone? I felt the worry snake through me, and I had half a mind to tell Addie I changed my mind. That we should head to our spot on the Crenshaw property and forget I ever brought this up.
“Are you okay?” She stared at me with a watery gaze. “We don’t have to do this until you’re ready.” I concentrated on the calming effect that her thumb had on me as she brushed soft strokes on the back of my hand. We sat there, staring out at a field of stone reminders of loved ones who were no longer among us, and I kept asking myself why this was so hard to do.
When given the gift of life, one was automatically guaranteed death. I just hated that Tyler wasn’t given more time; that his guarantee was shorter than mine.
I shook my head, holding back an unknown force clawing its way from my chest. “I need to do this.”
Turning the truck off and pulling the key from the ignition, I took a deep breath and brought Addie’s hand to my lips. “I love you,” I whispered against her soft skin. “It’s time.”
Addie nodded, and when our eyes met, I was grateful for the sincerity and love that shone in the bluest of eyes that would always be my home. I kissed her hand one more time and got out of the truck, moving to open Addie’s door for her.
Following her lead, we passed headstone after headstone, and a dreaded feeling brewed deep in my gut. I was a man. Why was this so damn hard to do? I held my head a little higher so I wouldn’t see the names marking the stones as we passed, but it didn’t seem to help.
After a few more steps, Addie stopped, and I knew we had arrived at Ty’s final resting place. An urge to turn around, tuck my hands deep into the pockets of my jeans, and haul ass back to my truck overcame me, but I kept my feet rooted in place. I willed myself to be a man. To face my fears head on, to honor and pay my respects to the one man that would always be like a brother to me.
“Did you want a minute alone?”
I shook my head and squeezed her fingers. “No, I need you here with me.”
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