“I love you.” I ghosted my lips from her cheek to her jawline. “Thank you for giving us another chance,” I whispered as I pressed a soft kiss on her shoulder. Her cheeks tainted pink, and her lips moved, as if she was whispering something. She always did when she was content and sleeping.
I was tucking another strand of her hair behind her ear when my stomach growled, and Addie smiled.
“Somebody worked up an appetite.”
“Sounds like it, huh.” I lay back down and kissed her before sliding my hand around her nape and pulling her closer. She hummed into my mouth, and our tongues met, curling together. She was so damn sweet, and I needed more—always needing more. My fingers tangled in her hair, bringing her closer so I could savor the distinct taste that was Addie Mae.
“Again?” I breathed into our kiss.
“Food.” It was the only word she gave me before she slid off the bed.
With a huge grin plastered on my face, I hopped out of bed after her, grabbed one of my T‑shirts, and turned to her. “Lift your arms.” She did, and I slid the shirt down her naked body then pulled my underwear on. “If not, forget the pizza, I’ll be eating you instead.”
“RJ,” she scolded, laughing.
“What?” I winked. “You want it cold or warmed up?”
“Guess?”
“Got it, be right back.” I snuck in a quick kiss and headed to the kitchen, her laughter following me down the hallway.
Addie was propped against the headboard when I came back with the cold pizza in hand. I climbed in, and we sat shoulder to shoulder with the pizza box on my lap.
“Ladies first.” I glanced in Addie’s direction as I handed her a napkin from the stack I brought with me.
“Thank you.” She reached for a slice, the one with the bubble, which was the one she always picked first.
“I’ve been wondering.” Our eyes connected, and she made a show of finishing her bite.
“What?” It was kind of cute that she was probably thinking the worst about what I was about to ask. I didn’t let her sweat about it, though.
“You never mentioned teaching. Your dreams seemed a lot bigger back when you wanted to be a principal or district superintendent. I didn’t expect to hear you say teacher.”
“Is there something wrong with that?” Her posture stiffened slightly.
“Hey, relax.” I gently squeezed the top of her arm. “I didn’t mean anything bad by it. I was taken aback when you mentioned it in the coffee shop.”
She shrugged and tossed the half‑eaten slice back into the box. “Swapping the big office and fancy name plaque for the chalkboard and children was the best choice for me.” I handed her a fresh napkin. “Thank you.” I nodded.
“But, why?” I took another bite, giving her time to form her answer.
Prior to Addie going away to college, her life had already been mapped out. Graduate high school with honors, attend the University of North Carolina, and graduate with her master’s degree. My own wishful thinking had her coming back home and marrying me. I wanted to understand and fill in the blanks of all the time we missed.
Her eyes shifted, avoiding mine. I slid my finger under her chin until our eyes finally met again. “What is it?”
“A lot changed . . .”
I waited for her to elaborate. “And?”
“After everything that happened . . .” She turned her face toward her lap. “When I lost the baby—”
“Hey,” I said as I grabbed her hand and squeezed it, “it’s okay, we don’t have to go there.” She shook her head and swallowed hard.
“My life was a mess. I missed so many of my classes—and honestly, at the time, I didn’t care.” She sighed. “I made a mess of my plans. I was on the brink of losing my scholarship when I decided I couldn’t just throw away everything I worked so hard to get.
“Then I did an internship at an elementary school, and I fell in love with the whole hands‑on experience. That was when it really dawned on me that as a principal, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to teach a classroom full of children. I wouldn’t have the day‑to‑day interaction and a strong hand in molding them into becoming something great. I’d probably be disciplining them at best; at worst, I would be a paper pusher. My daily schedule would be filled with meetings to discuss budget cuts, handing out detention, and overseeing the staff rather the children.”
I smiled.
“Don’t get me wrong, they run me ragged, but I have never felt more rewarded.”
“And how do you figure that?”
She shrugged, and her eyes sparkled a shade of crystal blue. “It’s not only one thing.”
“Tell me,” I said, honestly interested.
“For starters, it’s the way Tommy’s face lights up when he realizes he finally pronounced a simple word correctly. And Drake? His smile is so adorable, and his cheeks turn a shade of pink as he shows up with a plate of cookies his mother baked. There’s Katiebelle and how she’s always the first to help Jenny whenever she gets frustrated by reading things backward—she has dyslexia.” She paused, and her smile grew at her thoughts I wasn’t privy to. “It’s a lot, really. Yet, not even the hard days are that bad.” She chuckled softly. “Well, most of the bad days. When Katiebelle and Mark get into it, it can be a little trying. I swear those two will end up married one day. It’s a daily dose of happy chaos, and I’m glad I chose to be a teacher and not pursue my original dream.”
“Beautiful,” I whispered and brushed a few messy strands of hair behind her ear, “It looks like you found exactly what you were meant to do.”
“I like to think so. I’m not sure how much I would’ve liked dealing with the politics of being a principal or even higher.”
“Yeah, you’re too honest for the politics of it all.” I closed the pizza box, set it on the floor, and pulled her in my arms. “You would have gotten chewed up and spit out with all the bullshit, not that you’re not strong or anything—”
“No, you’re right. Eventually, I think I would’ve hated it.”
She snuggled against my chest, and my hand traveled to land under the hem of my shirt she had on. Her skin was warm and soft, and I thanked my lucky stars she was there with me.
“What about you? How come you’re not the CEO of your family’s company?”
“Actually, I will be soon.” I grinned like a freaking fool, able to actually feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.
“What! What are you saying?” She pushed up so she could look at me, and I licked my lips, trying to fight the urge to kiss her.
“Just that my parents decided it was time for AJ and me to take over joint responsibility.”
“And? When does this all take place? Are you still waiting, or did they hand over the gavels?” I chuckled, getting a kick out of taunting her. “Randall John Watson, you’re going to get it—quit stalling.”
She looked so darn cute, trying to curl her lip and growl at me, and I got a light smack to the chest for my games. “All right, all right. We’re waiting for all the legal mumbo jumbo bullshit, but it shouldn’t be too much longer.”
“RJ!” she squealed as she rolled on top of me. “I’m so damn proud of you.”
Six weeks later . . .
“Hello,” I answered my phone as I packed the last of my students’ assignments into my bag. It was Friday, and instead of lingering around grading papers, I was out of there.
“Hey, babe.”
“Hi.” I smiled at the sound of RJ’s voice, and he sneezed. “God bless you.”
“Thanks, babe.”
“You’re not getting sick are you?”
“Naw, it’s probably some allergies. There’s been a lot of dust and crap floating in the air. So, I was thinking that we should go out to dinner tonight.”
In the few months we had spent together, we hadn’t ventured beyond our favorite coffee corner, and I knew it would only be a matter of time. I didn’t know why I had avoided it, but it seemed silly to keep avoiding it.
“I’d love to go out to dinner.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes, of course. I’m a little surprised you even thought you had to ask.” I laughed as I tucked my phone between my shoulder and cheek so I could grab my keys from my purse. “But I thought we were going to see if I could get my tattoo redone?”
“We can do both.”
“What time should I be ready?”
“I’ll pick you up as soon as AJ and I are done meeting with a new client.”
“Okay.” I turned off the lights and closed my classroom door. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
“All right, I’ll see you soon. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Halfway through the staff parking lot, my phone buzzed in my hand. I rolled my eyes when I saw Jase had sent yet another text. “When is he going to catch the hint?” I mumbled to no one.
Of course, RJ was pissed that Jase wouldn’t leave me alone, but I convinced him that he wouldn’t look good in orange and that if I just ignored Jase long enough, he would give up and move on. That didn’t seem to be working as well as I’d hoped. His texts and calls were coming more frequently, and I had taken to turning my phone on silent when I slept. For someone who was so quick to jump into bed with someone else, he was sure having a hard time moving on. I didn’t care how badly he needed to tell me anything. The world could be burning and I wouldn’t want to learn the news from him.
Jase called three more times before I reached my car, all of which I ignored. I refused to play this game with him. I was done with him the moment I walked into that bathroom. My phone rang again, but it wasn’t Jase so I answered with a huge smile on my face.
“Well, it’s nice that you remember you have a sister.”
“Addie?” The worry in his voice put me on edge.
“Yeah, Levi?”
“Is everything okay?” He cleared his throat. “Mom called me, she’s worried about you.”
“Why would Mom be worried about me? I saw her last week.”
A couple weeks ago, RJ and I decided to finally tell our respective parents that we had gotten back together. We explained everything from the two of us finding friendship, clarifying its importance so we could help each other grieve for our friend, to Jase’s cheating and our decision to become a couple again. RJ’s mother welcomed me with open arms, and his dad enveloped me in a warm hug and whispered, “Welcome home, sweetheart. We’ve missed you.” It was my family—my mother actually that was a little more leery. As much as she still loved RJ, she thought we might be rushing into things. Daddy went easy on “the kid,” knowing he suffered quite the heartbreak when I left.
“You sure? Mom told me about Jase and that you’re back with RJ. Are you sure you’re not rushing into things?”
I sighed. “Levi, I appreciate you calling me because you’re a good son and Mom asked you to, but I’m happy. Honestly, I haven’t been this happy in years. I know Mom loved him and wanted us to get married, but he cheated on me. I won’t be that kind of girl—not even to make Mom happy. RJ has always been it for me, so we are giving it another shot. It’s not as if we are rushing off to get married or anything.”
“That’s what I figured. Let Mom know I called all worried and whatever.”
“I will. Promise.” I moved to hang up, but his voice caught me.
“Oh, one more thing.”
“Shoot.”
“Tell that fucker that if he hurts you, I’m coming after his ass.” He used his best big brother voice, and I laughed.
“Oh, shut up, Levi. You know you love him like he’s your own brother.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, Addie, I do. But that’s only because he loves my sister the way she deserves to be loved.”
“Aww, aren’t you so sweet,” I teased. “You’re such a good brother.”
“Whatever, Ads.”
“So, when are we going to get together again? Holidays and birthdays just aren’t cutting it.”
“I know, I know. I’ve been lying low for a while. Got a lot going on, and these women are bat‑shit crazy.” He let out a long breath and then went silent for a beat, but it wasn’t a comfortable kind of empty air. It was the heavy and thick kind of quiet where you just knew something big was about to happen. Goose bumps rose on my arms, and I sat back in my seat, wondering what he was going to say. “Ads?”
“Yeah, Levi?”
“I don’t know if I want this life anymore,” he spoke low, and I imagined him covering the phone with his hand, almost as if he hadn’t meant to admit it aloud.
“Yo, Montgomery, get your motherfuckin’ ass in here!” A deep voice boomed from somewhere in the background.
“Hey, let me call you later, okay?” I wanted to stop him and ask what he meant, but he hung up before I could even take a breath.
“Okay. I’ll talk to you soon. Love you,” I said and dropped my phone to my lap, worry twisting slowly in my belly. Baseball was my brother’s life, it always had been. Even when we were kids, it was all he ever talked about or wanted to do. Levi Montgomery lived and breathed everything and anything to do with baseball.
I picked my phone back up, ready to call and demand an explanation, but it was already after three in the afternoon. He was getting ready for practice and wouldn’t pick up. Vowing to call him when I knew he would be free, I tucked my phone in my cup holder, started my car, and pulled out of the lot. I worried about him the entire way home, and I probably would have continued to worry about him if Jase hadn’t pulled in right after me.
I slammed my car door and stood there, watching his every move through narrowed eyes.
Why didn’t I pour that expensive bottle of whiskey in his gas tank like I had wanted to?
I set my bags on the ground and folded my arms across my chest as he cautiously stepped out of his car and closed the door.
“Addilyn.” His eyes never left mine, and my disgust for him rolled in thick.
“Jase,” I mimicked, gritting my teeth. I wanted to read him off and tell him what I really thought of him, but I figured it would be better to just find out what the hell he wanted so he could go the fuck home. “What are you doing here?”
“I have some things to say, things that could have an effect on you.” Everything in me froze. I stared at him long and hard, waiting for him to say whatever he thought was so consequential that he had to drive all the way over here.
“What is it? And make whatever it is quick, because I’m already late.” I spat the words at him, hiding that my mind was flying in a hundred different directions behind my anger.
He snorted. Mr. Pretty Boy actually snorted. I almost laughed. “Late for what? Are you headed to see that guy I saw you with? The one who fucking disappeared when you needed him? How could you do that to me?”
“Excuse me.” I was taken aback. “How could I do what to you, exactly? Move on?” I stood taller and pointed a very angry finger at him. “Fuck another man?” I pretty much screamed at him, not caring that my neighbor, who had just pulled up and was unloading groceries, was currently staring.
“You need to see a doctor, Addie,” he responded flatly, but I flinched as if a god damned bucket of ice water just hit me in the face.
“Why. Why would I need to see a doctor, Jase?” The stinging pelt of cold morphed into anger, but I stood still, waiting for him to explain.
“Jazmin‑Michelle is pregnant.”
Okay, so not what I thought. Still . . .
“You realize that doesn’t require me to go to the doctor, right?”
“That’s also how she found out she has—”
I stared as his eyes shifted from side to side, looking anywhere but directly at me. The coward.
“Has what, Jase? Be a fucking man and say whatever it is you came to say!” I already knew what he was there to tell me, but I wanted him to say the damn words. My hands started to shake. The air around me grew thick, and suddenly, it became hard to breathe. Still, I stood and waited . . . and got not
hing. “You have got to be fucking kidding me right now.” I picked my bag up and turned my ramrod straight back on him.
“Ad‑Addie,” Jase stuttered. When I didn’t answer, he was smart enough to remain a safe distance away. I needed just a second. If I moved—I would attack him, which was a bad idea. Orange really was a horrible color.
“How long?” I whisper‑shouted. “How. Fucking. Long. Jase. How long were you fucking her behind my back?” I yelled, not that his answer mattered. The damage was probably already done.
Jase cleared his throat and reached for me, but I shot him a glare that very clearly told him to keep his hands off me if he wanted to keep them. “Addie, it was one time.” He pulled at his perfectly styled hair. “One fucking time I didn’t use a condom! How the fuck did this happen?” His arms flailed out in front of him.
“Don’t you dare stand there and lie to me, you son of a bitch!” I fought against fantasizing violent ways I could hurt him. “You expect me to believe it was only once? Like that makes any of this any fucking better? It should have been never!” My throat burned from the anger clawing its way out.
“Addie. Calm down.”
“Oh, fuck you, Jase. First, you fuck around on me.” I counted on one finger. “Second, you get another woman pregnant.” I counted a second finger, adding, “While you’re engaged to me, third, you show up at my house to tell me that I might have—” I pressed my palm flat against my chest, unable to continue. “You need to leave right fucking now. I mean it, Jase. I hope I never see you again.”
“See a doctor, Addie—soon.”
Disgusted, I turned and concentrated on each step I took until I knew I was safe in my own home. The deadbolt clicked, and I turned to face the living room but couldn’t find the strength to move. I thought I was going into shock. There was a hollow whoosh, whoosh, whoosh sound pounding through my ears, and I felt hot and clammy. My skin was too tight, and my lungs were too small.
“Oh, shit!” I gasped then ran to the bathroom. My heart pounded. “Please, God, no.” I prayed that I was not in the same predicament as her. “Shit. Shit. Shit.” With a little force, I yanked the bottom drawer open, searching for the box of pregnancy tests I kept hidden. My hands shook clumsily as I ripped open the package.
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