by Tanya Mindo
Zoe scowls at herself.
How could I make myself look like a loser? That was awkward!
Zoe wants to fix it right away. He’s only being so nice to her. She never should have assumed. What got into her stupid brain?
“Kaito!”
He stops and looks back at her. She takes in a deep breath, dropping all her belongings on the floor.
“Thanks, Kaito. Really. I’m sorry if I... Well... Anyway! You’ve been a big help. I’ll tell everyone about you.”
“Including your boyfriend?” he teases.
Zoe rolls her eyes, but she still smiles. “Yes. I told him about you earlier.”
Despite the darkness, Zoe notices that he raises his eyebrow.
He says, “What a good girl.”
She gulps. She doesn’t want to sound submissive.
But am I?
Thankfully, Kaito changes the topic and then climbs up the stairs again. He stops right in front of her.
“Anyway, before I forget, I still need to teach you a few things before you’re off to go. I’d take you to fix your insurance and your residency as soon as you’re available. You have to go to the orientation tomorrow, right?”
She nods. “Actually, I think I’ve been too dependent on you… You can just teach me then I can do things by myself. You might be busy.”
“I’m not. I have nothing to do, really.”
“It’s okay. I’ll do it myself.”
He doesn’t say anything.
“What?”
“You’re really worried about what your boyfriend might think huh,” Kaito guesses, slightly grinning. “Is he the jealous type?”
He is right. Zoe won’t deny that Seth is also one of her considerations. Since they started going out, she hasn’t been able to talk with other guys. He never stopped her. There was just no reason to unless it’s something for school. Frankly, speaking with Kaito is a breather, but he is too attractive and that won’t make it easier to explain to Seth.
How she wishes that she met a girl instead.
Zoe reddens. “That’s not it. I don’t want to be such a big baby.”
Kaito is unconvinced.
“Okay. Fine. I won’t deny that he’s a part of it… But mostly, it’s because I want to be more reliant on myself.”
She wants to start becoming independent. That is the main reason why she came here.
“If you say so. I’m only offering you my help because you just got here. I know it won’t be easy because you can’t speak Japanese. But if you want to go and explore on your own, that’s cool.”
“Just give me instructions, and I’ll take care of it.”
“Alright. Just know that being independent doesn’t mean refusing help when you need it.”
He’s right. But for now, she’d rather take her chances. She might regret it, and it’s probably a stupid decision, but at least she tries.
“Yeah...” She chews her lips. “Um… Well… I’m just curious.”
“Hm?”
“Are you dating anyone, Kaito?”
He smirks then shakes his head. “Nah.”
“Why not?”
Why not when you’re so cute?
Kaito half-heartedly shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t like wasting my time on temporary people.”
“Temporary?” She narrows her eyes at him.
He grins. “People come and go. I don’t plan to let anyone take a piece of me.”
Zoe suddenly feels cold and awkward. Kaito’s last words are cynical, and they strike a curious part of Zoe. Asking more about it seems rude, however, so she decides to save it for later.
To break the awkward silence, she says, “Uh… Okay, thanks again, Kaito.”
“Seriously, stop thanking me. This is nothing.”
“But we just met. You hardly know me, but you’re so willing to help me out. You’re nice.”
“Then I’ll just get to know you. It’s why we’re hanging out, right?” He wiggles his eyebrows. “I’m a good judge of character. I think you’re good enough to be my new friend. ”
“What if your judge of character is wrong?” she asks. “What if I’m not good enough to be your friend?”
“I doubt that,” he replies with a cheeky smile. “But I can ask you the same question. What if I’m not as nice as you think I am?”
Kaito’s facial expression becomes serious, his mouth pressing into a thin line. But in a split second, his lips break into a smirk. “Kidding. Anyway, I’ll get going now for real. Good night, Zoe.”
Zoe scratches her temple. It will take a while for her to get used to this. “Good night, Kaito.”
She picks up her stuff, enters the women’s floor, and heads straight to her room.
Zoe’s room is smaller than her bedroom at home, but it has everything that she needs. The walls are painted white, and the floor is made of wood. She even has her small bathroom and kitchen. The cabinet is big enough for her clothes.
She puts the groceries inside the refrigerator, rearranges her new cooking utensils, then fixes the bedding. Afterward, she sits on the floor, legs crossed, and looks out the window. The sky is dark and decorated with stars. She glimpses at her desk and scans some of her sticky notes. She finished some of them today thanks to Kaito. She remembers that she must fix her insurance and residency. Just thinking about it stresses her out.
Her parents called earlier while she was putting away her shoes. She just told them what they needed to know. She omitted the fact that she almost broke down as soon as she got off at Kichijoji. They seemed to relax after knowing that she was safe. Seth and Elle also replied to her messages.
She casually told them about Kaito. As expected, Seth didn’t sound so pleased, but she was just way too exhausted to care. If not because of Kaito, she would have ended up crying on the street.
Moreover, it was because of Seth’s reaction that she did a stupid mistake in front of Kaito.
He was just being polite and nice!
Her energy has completely been drained out of her body, though she is also satisfied that she survived her first day. She forces herself back up. She quickly grabs her journal and writes about the day. She can’t let the feeling fade away without making sure that she has left a trace that it happened.
She closes the journal as soon as she is done writing and then she clasps it between her arms and chest.
It was a good day.
The next day, Zoe wakes up early for the orientation. She immediately rises on her feet to prepare her breakfast. With arms stretched, her eyes travel around the small room, the truth sinking in that she has nobody else. She is alone. The silence is deafening yet strangely empowering. She smiles and proceeds to the kitchen to make some toast and then she pours herself a glass of milk. She takes a shower next, dries her hair, and slips on a white, long sleeve polo and black pants. She sends a ‘good morning’ message to Seth and then checks the route to the Hongo campus. She saves screenshots of the directions and learns that it is farther than Komaba campus where she’ll be going most of the time. But she will get by. Hopefully.
Before leaving, she grabs her purple puffer jacket. She heads down to the bicycle parking lot. The weather is sunny, and the temperature stays low at 10 degrees Celsius.
Zoe rides her bicycle slowly along the sidewalk, careful not to hit the curb or block other cyclists. Luckily, she has the route memorized in her head after the bus ride yesterday. The wind tousles her hair into a mess as her eyes shift from left to right, lips parted, in awe of the serenity and cleanliness of the streets of Mitaka.
Zoe stops at the Inokashira Park and ponders whether she still has the time to check the place around. Her curiosity wins over. She cycles into the park carefully. Three children are running in the middle of the field, yelling and laughing at each other, fully embracing their youthfulness. She parks her bicycle and sits on the bench under a tree which is starting to grow new leaves. The wind blows again and this time, she shudders. The tree’s branches shake an
d the crispy sound the leaves make as they brush against each other lift her spirits up.
She fumbles through her bag and writes in her journal. She usually writes before she goes to bed, but the feelings in her heart need to be put into words. When she is done, she looks back at her watch and decides to leave.
It takes her nearly an hour to reach the bicycle parking lot near the station, but she is safe and sound. She is exhilarated. Her body shivers due to the low temperature, yet her cheeks remain hot out of happiness. She has never felt this ecstatic. Not since Disneyland ten years ago. She passes by the guardhouse of the parking lot. An old man bows and smiles at her. She does the same.
She walks to the train station and remembers yesterday’s events when she gets off at Kichijoji. She shakes her head in disbelief. At the intersection, the signal light turns green and she crosses together with numerous people who are also on the way to the station.
Several karaoke bars and restaurants are situated on the street. A group of Japanese office workers come out from a Karaoke bar, obviously drunk and tired due to an all-nighter. A middle-aged man sweeps in front of a restaurant.
At the station, she notices people queueing in front of machines. Kaito told her last night to get a Suica or Pasmo card for transportation and retail purchases, so she does. It’s easy since there is an English translation.
Thank goodness.
The colors and the train schedule guide her. She stands near the doors and switches trains when needed. Truthfully, it isn’t difficult. The transportation system, like what Elle said, is exceptionally convenient. She carefully follows the screenshots as she walks to the university. Forty-five minutes later, she reaches the Hongo campus. Warmth spread through her chest.
I made it!
The campus is huge and intimidating. The buildings stand tall, and a grove of trees hover from above preventing direct sunlight. The edifices appear ancient, though the architectural designs are sophisticated and unique from each other. She can only imagine all the professionals who graduated from Todai and have made a difference in the world.
Zoe wonders how Komaba campus will be compared to Hongo since all the courses she’ll take will be in the former. Her blood rushes through her veins.
She stops to check a map to the hall. From behind, she hears English-speaking students laughing and talking to each other. She decides to follow them. It was a good decision because the students are heading to the same orientation.
She arrives in the hall and notices that students are already speaking to each other. Her eyes roam the room, her knees suddenly tensing up. Taking a deep breath, she sits on her designated seat.
If she were the usual Zoe, she will stay quiet and observe the people around her. Elle and Seth only became her friends because the two came from similar high school, and they took pity on her.
Okay, maybe not pity.
When they saw her eating lunch alone back in first year, they were nice enough to sit next to her.
But today, she should be someone different. She doesn’t want to stay the same. She only has a few months, and making friends will make it worth it.
Zoe musters the courage to greet the girl dressed in all-black on her right.
“Hi.”
The girl flicks her short hair and shoots Zoe a casual look. She is visibly thin, her collar bones protrude sharply, but somehow, Zoe thinks that she doesn’t look unhealthy. Zoe is reminded of Velma Dinkley because of her eyeglasses and hairstyle.
“Hi,” she replies. She’s Asian.
“I’m Zoe Torres. I’m from the Philippines.”
“Cool,” she answers, smiling, as she flicks her short black hair once more. “I’m Jesse Tan. From Singapore.”
“Nice to meet you, Jesse,” Zoe says, extending her hand. Jesse takes it.
“Nice to meet you.”
The speaker comes in. The Japanese lady is short and thin. She has short hair and a nice smile. Zoe sits properly, and she arranges the brochures and folders placed neatly on her desk. She scans it as the lady, whose name is Miss Asahi Miaka, discusses some information for the new students. She sees a map of the campuses, information about the course catalog, and the JASSO scholarship that she will be receiving. She listens intently until the end of the discussion. Afterward, Miss Asahi calls the names of the universities and has them raise their hands when their home university is mentioned. Zoe is the only one from the Philippines. The others have fellow students from the same universities.
“Wanna eat lunch together?” Jesse asks her after the talk.
“Yeah, sure!” she answers happily, trying to fit all the brochures into her bag.
They find a restaurant just outside the campus. They give out their orders to a waitress who tries her hardest to speak in English. Zoe appreciates it. They are foreigners after all, and if there is anyone who should try to learn the local language, it should be them.
Zoe and Jesse properly introduce themselves to each other. Zoe is delighted when she discovers that Jesse is a Political Science student from the National University of Singapore. Perhaps they will have similar classes.
Jesse resides at the Komaba lodge, so she is always a few steps away from the campus, unlike Zoe.
Maybe I should have agreed with Mom. Bummer.
“How’s Mitaka?” Jesse asks.
“It’s pretty far. I have to ride the bicycle to the station every day. It takes around 20 minutes. Then I have to take the Keio-Inokashira line to Komaba.”
“Oooh. That sucks.”
“It’s inconvenient, but I like the area. It’s somewhat peaceful… Away from the bustling and noisy streets. It’s a conducive place to study.”
Nah, I’m good. No regrets.
Jesse pauses and stares at her. “Oh. So... You came here to study?”
She blinks rapidly. “Yes… I mean… This is Todai. It’s among the best in the continent.”
Jesse only smiles. Zoe feels odd. She isn’t saying something stupid, is she?
“Why? Aren’t you here for the same reason?”
Jesse rests her chin on her palm.
“Well, yes and no. I came here to study, of course. But not exactly ‘from’ Todai. I like exploring and knowing things myself. I think there’s more to learn outside the university.” She grins. “You’ll be surprised to know that most students slack off during exchange programs. I’m acquainted with people from NUS who took this opportunity for RnR.”
“Really?” Zoe’s tone rises. “How?”
“I know people who also came to Tokyo as USTEP students. And they said professors are pretty lax. Which is great, I think. We’ll have more time to experience the city.”
Zoe nods slowly. “I agree with you. I like reading texts assigned by professors, but I also want to be more… Involved. I just don’t know where to start.”
“I see,” Jesse mutters. “Well, you can always hang out at the lodge if you feel like it.”
The waitress places their orders on the table.
Zoe beams at Jesse. “Are outsiders allowed?”
She takes a bite from her katsudon. “Mmm, this is delicious.”
“Yes, of course. Why’d you ask?” Jesse sips her miso ramen.
“It’s not allowed in Mitaka. Girls and boys even live on different floors.”
“Really? That’s too bad. Have you made friends?”
Zoe instantly thinks of Kaito. She recalls how much he’s helped her so far.
I guess he’s considered my friend.
“Yes, I have. He’s from the same country as I am, so it was easy. But it would be great to meet people from other countries.”
“Then that’s great,” Jesse says, drinking from her cup of tea. “And that’s true. You’ll learn more from other people who have nothing to do with where you came from. Hm. If that’s the case, I’m planning to meet other exchange students later. I met them at the dorm. Wanna come? It’s the ‘start’ you’re looking for.”
Her jaw drops. “Is it okay?
/> Jesse laughs at her reaction. “Why not?”
They finish lunch around 2 PM. The speaker mentioned meeting in front of the Yasuda auditorium for a tour of the campus, so the two of them walk back in a rush.
The Yasuda auditorium is a symbolic structure of the University of Tokyo. It is dark red and tall, and clocks are placed at the top of the tower. Zoe poses for a photo, and Jesse takes it for her. She also takes a photo of Jesse.